Mothers!

Mothers are very rare species...they are available in Human History from the time immortal. My tribute here is to the "human" mothers though mothers are available in every living species on earth, but my believe is that amongst all other species, "human mothers" are the most advanced. They vary in shape, size, color, and nature but more or less there are certain "general" characteristics that they abide by. But this post is not about those general characteristics... because that would be a waste of time, as even general characteristics are given "individualistic" touch by these species worldwide. Say for eg, "Mothers are caring"...its a general trait...but the "care" shown by "Indian" mothers are much different that that shown by "American" mothers. Even within India, you will find characteristic differences amongst different provinces. My blog here is mostly for "Bong Mothers"...and am inspired to write this because of a particular incident that I witnessed today.

I consider myself to be one of the "lower rankers" when it comes to the characteristic of "dedication towards your child's education" amongst the mothers. Though my daughter is pretty chilled out about the same, and though according to her I am a "cool mom"...but "coolness" is not supposed to be a "good mom's" characteristic,atleast not in this part of the world...at times I suffer from accute"inferiority complex" particularly when I am amongst other "not-so-cool moms" in birthday parties. Needless to say, they are the superior varieties amongst Bong Moms... its like the last girl in the class sitiing with the toppers. They have every detailed knowledge of the school, starting from the teachers (I know thats obvious) to the color of the bathroom tiles. They know which teacher is what "type" (dont ask me how many "types" of teachers are there) and they fight with them for 0.5 marks deduction in their ward's tests. I vaguely try to remember the subject on which my daughter has a test on any particular day. Dont blame me as these days kids have tests almost everyday under different categories...class test, block test, weekly test, and hold your breadth...surprise test. I think both me and may daughter deserve kudos for going through the pain of all these tests (well daughter goes through them, and I take the pain to remember the tests). By now, am sure, you are well aware of the rank of my "motherhood" interms of "dedication towards your child's education". I get nervous in birthday parties when I sit with all other moms (by the way I get to meet them only in such parties as otherwise I hardly go to school to fight with the teachers for marks).

Birthday parties are fun...I love to see these dolls all decked up and ofcourse having cake when you are putting on weight even drinking water, gives me a high. But my "fun" gets all ruined up when am sitting amongst all other "mothers"...their topic of discussion starts with..."You know Sushmita Ma'am deducted half a mark of my daughter in the Eng Lit test last week, only because she forgot to put a fullstop!!!...how could she? I went and told her, Sushmita Ma'am, my daughter didnt forget to put the fullstop there its just that it was not put with force and so blame it on the Link gel pen that she was using, that went missing...see here Ma'am, her next word there started with a Capital Letter...if she had not put the fullstop then why would she begin the next word with a Capital Letter?"...Amazing! am not too sure what Sushmita Ma'am said to that, but am sure if I was Sushmita Ma'am I would have fainted right there...or maybe quit! Half a mark deduction is such a big sin, am sure Sushmita Ma'am did never think of! Poor her.

All other mothers by now would agree to this mother who is a "victim" of Sushmita Ma'am crule nature of deducting marks! Other mothers would provide their sympathy and support and start recollecting their horrible experiences right from the days of Nursery I (our kids are in Std V now). This would go on and I would be looking at all mothers feeling highly guilty. Topic them moves to the pattern of questions that might come this year and in the next 5-6 years...all these mothers have done serious researches by borrowing test copies and books and other reference materials from the "senior mothers" (I mean mothers whose kids are senior to our kids). Then they start repenting how their sons/daughters dont study beyond 4 hours in the evening! Now this is precisely the time when I fall off the chair...4 hours at a strech?!!! I dont remeber when I sutdied that long, how can i even think of forcing my daughter to that...infact I feel very happy the day she crosses the 1 hour mark! We celebrate that evening with special dinner at home. But then, am low ranker so this should not be mentioned here in the first place. I look at the kids around and somehow feel sorry for them...with so much of pressure right from their childhood, will they be able to "love" studies ever? Anyways, my thoughts dont matter...now not all mothers can be wrong...

I accept my "inability" to be a good mom no matter how "cool" my daughter thinks I am...but today my inferiority complex took multiple heaps! Today, I went to pick up my daughter from her school...thought of giving her a surprise amodst all her "surprise tests". There is very narrow lane besides the main building where all the cars are parked and kids come in long spiral queues holding their guardains' hands, all tired and exhausted. Now this lane at this point of time is more crowded than the busiest and busient of streets during office hours. On the side of the lane there is a narrow sewage canal passing through, that is where these small kids relieve themselves. Now, I dont like the idea of kids relieving themselves on the street like this, but cant blame them when even at this age, there fathers also do the same, but today lets not talk about it. So what I was saying is here I saw a small boy (my guess is that he would be in Std I) relieving him...and guess what? His mother was standing behind him and reading out a poem to him which he is repeating (like a "badhyo chele") after her! I couldnt take it any more...I mean a 6 year old boy, slogging in school for 4.30 hours and then coming out with an urgency to relieve himself is not even getting spared for 2 mins till he is done with! I couldnot imagine what urgency lied there for the mother who had to teach her the poem when he was reliving himself under a scorching sun at 12 noon!...This mother should get the mother of the decade...only if I knew her too well I would have advised her to teach me "motherhood"... but since I didnt, I dint dare to.

So here I am, highly frustrated with myself, writing a blog on "Mothers"...

Mill & Boons

Blame all my crushes on M&B. Blame all my hearbreaks on M&B. Blame my extremely filmy romanticism also on M&B. I admit that my life has been moulded (you can read "deformed" if you may) by M&B. I would like to thank all the authors of M&B (Penny Jordan, Debbie Macomber, Lynne Graham, Nora Roberts, etc) for making me this extremely stupid, emotional, sentimental, romantic fool! Thanks to you women out there, I started believing "Love" is all about candle-lit dinner, poetry, slow dancing, flowers, and chocolates. I believed my man would be this tall, dark, handsome, showstealer hunk with a very intelligent mind and romantic heart (absolutely impossible combination not matter which formula of Permutation n Combination you put in). Since I had always been a plane Jane, I believed like your books one day a Salman Khan or a Rahul Dravid will woo me and sweep me off my feet (well, I still believe it...one day this will happen).

Now why am I suddenly in a bah-you-all-authors-of M&B-stories? Well the truth is I started reading them all over again! Yes, you heard me right, I am back to reading M&B when in exactly 84 days I will be 35! And faint-if-you-may, these books are again captivating me...you know that feeling when a gust of wind catches you unawares? when it swirls round you, sucking the air from your lungs and leaving you blinking, and ruffled and invigorated?...well thats what I am feeling right now! And if you are wondering on the way I am writing this...well thanks to the new book of M&B for that as well!

Wish God was more like these authors! Wish He took help of these authors when He was writing my life story. I wonder whether in God's kingdom, M&B stories are written? Even if they are, I am unaware... I am yet to meet a TDH with a lot of sensitivity who will prepare breakfast for me and wake me up with a "Goodmorning Sunshine". I am yet to meet a man who would actually be sensible enough to ask the local confectionary to send me a "cream filled doughnut" everyday in the morning because he knows I have a "sweet tooth" and crave for something sweet everyday morning... and mind you all these activities that an M&B Hero performs are all pre-love stage...these are just the beginnings in that "world"..."I Love You" comes decades later...and here in this "world" I love you" changes to "You are ok" to "Oh you suck" to "For all I care"....but Goodmorning sunshine is a distant dream... Flowers everyday is unthinkable...and candle-lit dinner? well you may have it if there is a power cut!

Hence my plead to these great authors...please do put some sense in God's mind...so that when He writes my next life...He puts in some components from your stories... oh Life would be so much fun, if I was "Summer Cutris" of "Jennifer Ashley" or "Linda Stephens" of your "world"... infact, I am thinking of courriering all your books to Almighty, so that He has some better ideas when He writes my Love Life in my next birth!...only if I had His address!!!

The Art of Giving

The art of giving is one of the most important form of art in the world today. This is my personal opinion, but then, this is my personal blogspot! The reason why I feel that the art of giving is so important is because I feel this is the only way you get richer by making someone else better off. Being a student of Economics (though I have almost forgotten that I was), I was always taught that supply is finite and demand is infinite. And the act of balancing infinite demand vis-a-vis finite supply is what Economics is all about. Digging this subject for 7 years, I had realized that this is a fact of life, not only Economics. Life is a balancing act that you learn at the very beginning. And it is always about demand and supply... your demand for milk is supplied by your mother when you are born and thats when it begins. You demand pocket money, your father supplies, your father demands good result that you supply. Its a trade off...and it continues from childhood to adolescence, till the day you are alive...and this trade off is in every aspect of life...social, financial as well as emotional. And in this trade off, if one part is better off the other one is invariably worse off, even if temporarily. But the art of giving is only one aspect of life when you are better off and the party you are giving is also better off...you both gain...he gets a better life, and you? Well my dear friend, you get a happiness that is priceless, atleast much over priced than what you have given.

Sarah had taught me the Art of Giving... and I have come across many such Sarahs in life who have taught me this. And this post is dedicated to all of them.

1) Often, for my office work, I have to travel to Bangalore, and there I have an office cab and the person who owns the cab, is Suresh. Suresh is a very nice man and over months we have bonded really well. Suresh has 2 daughters and since both of them are younger to my daughter, I often get my daughter's old clothes and other used stuffs for them. During one such week long visit in Bangalore, I was talking to my husband over the phone and was cribbing about the food in Bangalore that i didnt like having. Suresh might have understood what I was talking and the very next day he got me a lunch pack and told me that his wife will cook meals for me till the time I am there, so that I dont have to eat outside food.

2) My friend Rajdeep with whom I studied for 5 years together would always spend his pocket money buying me chocolates...and before you get wrong ideas, no, he is or never was my boy friend. We were friends and rgender never came between our friendship. So there was no need of impressing each other or anything. But his buying me chocolates from his pocket money, since I would have already spent mine buying chocolates for myself, by then, have left a deep sense of gratitude in me. Now, I can buy and have any type of chocolates in the world but nothing tastes as good as those Ra. 5/ Cadbury's Break bar.

3) Out of all gifts I receive on my birthday the best one is the one my daughter gives me. This is not because she is my daughter and/or I love her the most and all that. This is more because she gives me a gift that costs her entire pocket money for the month. And even then she looks forward to spending that amount just to make me feel special.

4) The year of my marriage, my father had gifted me an album which had all my childhood memories. Rare photographs that I had never seen earlier. My father is not very expressive kind, I dont remember when was the last time we hugged each other. So a gift like that from my father had me speechless.

All these people actually taught me a very valuable lesson of my life...that happiness lies more in giving than in getting...

International Women's Day!

Its customary to wish all women on International Women's day. I have got many wishes from other women too...Happy International Women's Day with various inspiring, heart touching, "oh we are so great" kinda quotes. Didnt know how to react, so thought would blog about Women's Day and how I see it as.

Note: This post is dedicated to Chanakya for all his women bashing quotes. This post is also dedicated to modern day "Chanakyas" and MCPs in disguise...so called city bred, diplomatic, suave MCPs who pretend they "respect" women just like they repect their "mothers"!!!

Hi All "Chanakya"-led and "Chanakya" like men,

Like all other years I will not feel like raging a war against your tribe on International Women's day. Like all other years, I will not crib and frown on the "injustice" you have done to us over the centuries. Like all other years, I will not feel humiliated on the "insults" that you have done to women. Rather, this year, the woman in me plans to do something different. She feels the need to make peace with with, and give you credits where it is due. The woman in me feels its time I accept the things as they are...no point shouting for equality when I know WE are not equal. So this year round, on International Women's Day, I let all you men know that I admit and appreciate things that you all can really do much better than us.

1) I accept and admit with all my heart that we women can never beat you in "untidyness"!!! You guys are way ahead of us in this aspect. You have this amazing skill of "farting" with pride in public that we can never beat you at. I admit that cleaning your nose in public is an art that you have mastered and it will take us years to reach where you are (its a different thing altogether that we dont want to reach there ever). We can never claim to be "equal" in terms of being "lousy" and I, on behalf of all women declare you the WINNER in the category of "UNTIDY LOUSY BEAST". We women accept defeat with all our modesty.

2) The close second in the list is the "Art of bad Mouthing". We women have been trying to copy you getting "inspired" by your art of using abuses, left right and center. With a lot of hard work and dedication, we have been able to get somewhere closer to you when we are really pissed off or angry, but I must admit we have a long way to go before we reach the zenith you are at...its amazing how you greet each other with such decorative "Words of speech"!!! I often wonder if you are talking over the phone with your best friend or raging a war against the "Gang of Terrorist"! Its amazing to hear you use words like "mother..." "Sister..." to your best friends whose mother probably have cooked you many decent meals in the past! Also, I personally love the variety of such words that you guys possess control over, and improvisations are amazing!

3) Then ofcourse, how can I forget mentioning your "insensitiveness"... thats an attribute you are far far ahead of us. Women can never beat you in being "insenstivie" towards others feelings, others emotions and others dreams. You guys can singlehandedly manage being "insensitive" in all the departments of life. We can never even come close to you in this sphere. Your insensitivity, followed by your "huge" ego and decorated with your "Selfish" nature make you a much superior being than us...a class apart. How amazingly naturally it comes to you to take everything you get in this life, for granted. How convincingly you have "convinced" yourself that its "YOU" who deserve to get the best toys (over your sister) in your childhood, the best jobs (over other female contemporaries) when you grow up, and the "treaty" called marriage is so amazingly pro-men! Hats off to you men for pulling it off so amazingly! Women can never even dream of having secured for themselves such desirable treaties in life! We indeed have a long way to go.

4) You have mastered the art of "taking everything in life for granted" with such a master stroke. Over the centuries how have kept women supressed and now when women have started protesting bleekly, you actually attribute the increasing rate of divorce to the increasing rate of "intolerance" amongst women! Amazing insight...what you try to say is that divorce is on the rise, becasue WOMEN have become intolerant! Yeah, right, if only we accepted every injustice you did on us like your ancestors did on ours, we would have had lesser number of divorces! Amazingly, that you value "family" so much and are looking out for ways of reducing "divorces".

Well, the list can go on and on...starting from as petty stuff as your not washing your undergarments for days together! to as noble as your taking the woman in you life for granted, we are way behind you in all these and more. So on International Women's Day, I want to acknowledge all these and tell you, that we momen neither want nor can be like you. You are way ahead of us in things like above.

P.S: Heard, there is an International Men's Day as well... Don't know when, but wishing you all a Happy Men's Day full of drinks, abuses, dirty porns, stupid games, and chasing women with a draeam of enslaving them!...enjoy your life just the way you always do...after all what else can be expected from insensitive, selfish bunch of MEN!