Ladies n (Not so) Gentlemen...

Do men and women communicate differently at work? Yes, according to the proponents of "Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars" school of thought. In the corporate culture and in an organization where we spend more time in meetings (calls conferences) than the combined time spent in the loo, cafeteria, and smoking zones...I have found women mostly to be self-effacing and apologetic, whereas men are convincingly confident...even when they dont have the slightest idea of what they are talking about.

Before you rule me out as a nut feminist, consider this...a real life situation I expreinced in a call about a week back. It was a call chaired by my project manager(male)... its a different thing altogether that apart from scheduling the call he did nothing...some would say its his job to "delegate" jobs to others, to which I would say "no comments". Anyways, so the situation is...he called for the meeting (virtual as participants are spread across the globe)...he asked me to send him the probable agenda of "his" call which he copy-pasted and sent to all 30 minutes before the call (Delegation, if you may). Now, he and I are in the different location as well...and amongst innumerable worthless gifts we human beings have received from technology, like mobile phones, t.v remote (worthless if you have a husband at home) etc, one such gift used at offices is "instant messenger"... your constant enemy invading whatever little personal moments you have in the office. So here we were, all joining the call over phone...now the minimum I would expect from my project manager to do is have a attendees list ready - as he sent out the invitation he would know who all are joining, right? Wrong...because he is a MAN. Now the attendees were as follows (names changed to the extent possible):

Jeerav Kumar (Project Manager - Male)
Lifebeyonddreams (Me-female)
Mad-hobby (Female)
Mega (Female)
Brain Bloody Witch (Male)
Steep Macaroon (Male)
Lusan S Michael (Female)
Lead Burner

Now all these peole are known to each other, we work in a Global Project...

Now the call began...Jeerav initiated the call with attendence...everybody said their respective name and he reciprocated with a "Hi X, how r you doing?" in his desperately-trying-to-acquire-an-American accent. So far so good... Lusan introduced herself as "Hi this is Lusan S Michael"...to which our great Project Manager said... "Hi Michael, how r you doin' man?"... And this moment ladies and gentle men, I fell off my chair and did all I could to stop me from LOLF loud and clear through the call! How can a "female" voice be Michael? How can someone named "Michael" join our call when we dont have any member by that name. And Lusan, who is called Lue...how can "she" be "man"???!!! But then these obvious things didnot occur to our great project manager (may be he should have delegated the job of taking attendence to somebody else)

Communication differences can be especially pronounced during business meetings. Especially those mind-numbingly "important" meetings where a gaggle of men and women perch and/or slouch around a conference table and/or shout over the phone and discuss critical project issues like project scope, project budgets, project picnics, and football scores. And play BuzzwordBingo in a laudable effort to remain semiconscious.

Unfortunately, how far you move up the corporate ladder often depends on your conference table talk. Why? Because your boss doesn't have time to check out your work. (S)he's much too busy sleeping through meetings.

So you can see how important it is to learn to communicate like a ma... I mean ... boost your communication skills.

But help is at hand. Simply assess your abilities with this MCQ (Meeting Communication Quotient) Quiz:

1) When you have an important point to make you:
a. Jump in the instant somebody stops to breathe.
b. Politely wait until every male in the room has spoken ...including the CEO's cute three-year-old.
c. Wave a white flag in the air and hope someone notices.

2) When somebody uses an unfamiliar term you:
a. Figure if you don't understand it, it isn't important.
b. Hope someone else asks what the @#$%$#@$ the speaker is talking about.
c. Say, "I apologize for my stupidity, but would you please, if it isn't too much trouble, explain X?"

3) If you don't have any original ideas to contribute you:
a. Wait until you hear someone say something brilliant and rephrase it, pretending it's your own.
b. Sit quietly, absorbing what everyone else has to say.
c. Beg for forgiveness.

4) When someone's secretary asks for beverage orders you:
a. Request exactly what you want.
b. Say, "anything will be fine."
c. Head for the coffee machine.

5) If the CEO directly solicits your opinion you:
a. Say what you think he wants you to say.
b. Say what you think your boss wants you to say.
c. Look behind you to see who the CEO is speaking to.

All done with the quiz? Good. Now it's time to check your responses ... and to hire a communication coach if you answered "c" even once.
Whom should you hire? Any male can help settle ... I mean "improve" ... your score.