Men will be men...

I accept I have led a very sheltered and protected existance. I accpet that I have never heard of the phrase "five second rule" until most men I know started using it as an excuse to eat any crumb, portion of edible treat that just dropped on the floor. Apparently most men, almost 99.99% of them believe that if you drop food on the floor and pick it up really really fast, then its absolutely safe to eat! They assume that the germs politely wait for five seconds, before they attach themselves to the goodies scattered on the floor. In fact, the belief is so widespread amongst them, that some scientists, who apparently didnt have anything better to do with their time, actually studied the issue. And yes, by the way, they concluded that the rule IS NOT valid.

By the way...did you really need me or those scientists to tell you that?! And I keep wondering how the scientists figured out this most difficult thing? I mean did they live on morsel off the ground for years as their experiment? Well, I dont know and neither am I interested to find that out. But I hope and pray, that all men I know and dont may stop eating food from the ground someday... but then, when will that day come?

Another great characteristic feature of men is that they are so very predictable in their roles as "HUSBAND". A man and a woman can agree almost on everything, but marry one of them, and the HUSBAND in him starts objecting everything that you do!...and that you dont! From temperature setting in AC to the remote control of the TV, they want to control it all. Irrespective of whether they have ever hold a cricket bat in their hand, or kicked a football in their life, they have to watch each and every match on the TV, more so when you have your serial coming up! Whats more, come weekend, and all they can think of is sprawling in front of that giant sports-spewing screen, devouring couch potato chips. Some of the sports he watches, I never knew they existed and wonder whether the satellite has caught some alien channels from some distant planet!

Another thing I just love in them is their jokes which are so very predictable, that you almost know from the beginning when to laugh! And they love to joke about women driving. As if its some rare skill that only men are capable of doing. Like I have heard of this "woman" umpteen number of times from many men...she is the WOMAN who drives her car while SHE is doing her make up, and looking at herself in the rear mirror, holding a conversation over the phone, and sometimes even muching on an apple while driving! Multitasking at its best, HER only agenda in life is to hit the car before her. 99.99% of men have a dent on their cars caused by this mysterious WOMAN and she has been observed driving this recklessly in all the cities in India atleast. I heard people complaining and joking about her in Kolkata, in Delhi, in Bangalore and where not! For the greater interest of the entire human race, I think this WOMAN needs to be caught and her driving license should get cancelled at once. Whats more she should be given a lifetime ban on appliying make up and having apple.

And till the time we can nail her down, can we sincerely request our male friends to come up with some different jokes on the driving skill of women please?