Friday, March 11, 2011

Parents have a right to know!

"Tell me what exactly your job is. Go slowly, I have to write it down."

Declared my mom, on my recent visit to her place last weekend.

I hadn't switched employers or secured a promotion; I've been doing essentially the same work for five years. So why the sudden curiosity? Because my mom recently attended a wedding packed with inquisitive relatives. Relatives who appeared to be more interested in my career than they were in the bride and groom!

"Rontu/Rana/Pinky is doing great. He/she is a COO/PHD/VPP," they proudly declared. "So, how is Munai (my nick name)?. What did you say she does?", asked my mom's aunt's brother-in-law's neice at the wedding!

"Something with the computers," my mom answered at first stammering at every possible word and the gaps as well. "And HR, I think"

"That sounds nice," was a chorus, "but what exactly does she do?"

"Well, I am not too sure, but I know it is very important, she keeps travelling a lot due to her work. So, doesn't Shelly make a lovely bride?", said my mom hoping desperately that her conscious change of topic would go unnoticed.

"How could you not know what your own daughter does for a living?" they prodded, refusing to be distracted by something as inconsequential as the bride's appearance. "What is she -- some kind of spy -- that even her mother doesn't know what she is upto?"

... so, as a result of this conversation at the wedding where I was thankfully missing, I got confronted with the following on my visit to her...

"Everyone thinks you're with the CBI," my mom complained the moment I entered her place. "They kept me so busy with their questions, I almost missed my dessert (now, that is simply not done...how can they keep my 110kg mom away from dessert???). The only way I got to the hot gulab jamuns, was to promise to write and explain precisely what you do. So what do you do?"

For the next one hour I tried to describe my job and my mom grew more and more confused. Do other people have this problem, I wondered. So I decided to ask some friends.
"I just tell my folks I work with numbers," an econometrics expert told me. "It doesn't really satisfy them, but it's the best I can do."

"All my parents know is I work with lab rats," said a scientist friend whose job even I can't begin to describe.

"I do junk bond work," replied a securities attorney. "How would you like to explain that to your parents?"

The solution to this job generation gap came to me as I listened to the tenth description of an indescribable job. From now on, at least once a year, we should take our parents to work with us. After all, there's already an annual Take Our Kids To Work Day. But, shockingly, nobody has protested the exclusion of parents. Such blatant discrimination goes to the very essence of parenting -- parents' inalienable right to brag about their kids. And this I can vouch for. My mom also does a little, I accept, but only a little though. I have seen such brat parents in my lifetime (please excuse my slang for seniors, but I couldn't help it) who would just go on and on about how well their kids performed right from nursery to board meetings! irrespective of whether you lend them your ears or just snore away to glory. But nevertheless, I think, our parents deserve a day at our office, to find out what exactly we do. Its much better for us kids to give them demo rather than spend a futile hour trying to explain what the hell you really do! IBM, the company where i work for, has the concept of "Take Your Parents to Work" day, and very cleverly I had avoided pariticipating in such event every year. But this year I solemnly promise to take my mom so that she can explain, in her own words, to her ever inquisitive clan of relatives, what exactly do I do!

Imagine the educational benefit of parents sitting with their children at the conference table/laboratory/computer room. Witnessing their daughters' demos and their sons' presentations. Watching their offspring interact with bosses, clients, co-workers (both enemies and friends). Gazing as their progeny dodge phone calls, pound keyboards, glare at computer screens, and curse the invention of the fax machine.

There are risks, of course. Dad may cross-examine the boss about health insurance and the company's retirement plan. Mom may whip out a tape measure and compare office footage on her hands and knees. Both will conclude you're smarter than your boss and make sure to let him know it. And you can be sure that one of them will demand to know when you're getting a promotion.


But despite the risks, we owe it to our parents to expose them to our work environments. Besides, a discreetly whispered warning is usually all it takes to get parents to behave. The warning? ... well, here it goes...

"Mom, behave yourself in my office, because if you get me fired, I'll move back home."

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

Nice one. Common problem. But taking to workplace won't help, as the visual ramification of all IT services job is typing and being on phone. Moreover the entertainment and job can not be distingushied as I am writing this comment in the same way I enter data in my program.

But again, in a different note if we can not explain a person from different background about what we do, that means we ourselves do not know the same.

Shopno said...

its not about not being able to describe the nature of job to just anyone...i can do so to someone from my generation...but somehow this whole concept of IT is pretty alien to my folks and their generation...I am still googling to find an easier way to explain SAP implementation of HR in companies...

Anonymous said...

sometimes thinking gives better solution than googling :)