Men will be men...

I accept I have led a very sheltered and protected existance. I accpet that I have never heard of the phrase "five second rule" until most men I know started using it as an excuse to eat any crumb, portion of edible treat that just dropped on the floor. Apparently most men, almost 99.99% of them believe that if you drop food on the floor and pick it up really really fast, then its absolutely safe to eat! They assume that the germs politely wait for five seconds, before they attach themselves to the goodies scattered on the floor. In fact, the belief is so widespread amongst them, that some scientists, who apparently didnt have anything better to do with their time, actually studied the issue. And yes, by the way, they concluded that the rule IS NOT valid.

By the way...did you really need me or those scientists to tell you that?! And I keep wondering how the scientists figured out this most difficult thing? I mean did they live on morsel off the ground for years as their experiment? Well, I dont know and neither am I interested to find that out. But I hope and pray, that all men I know and dont may stop eating food from the ground someday... but then, when will that day come?

Another great characteristic feature of men is that they are so very predictable in their roles as "HUSBAND". A man and a woman can agree almost on everything, but marry one of them, and the HUSBAND in him starts objecting everything that you do!...and that you dont! From temperature setting in AC to the remote control of the TV, they want to control it all. Irrespective of whether they have ever hold a cricket bat in their hand, or kicked a football in their life, they have to watch each and every match on the TV, more so when you have your serial coming up! Whats more, come weekend, and all they can think of is sprawling in front of that giant sports-spewing screen, devouring couch potato chips. Some of the sports he watches, I never knew they existed and wonder whether the satellite has caught some alien channels from some distant planet!

Another thing I just love in them is their jokes which are so very predictable, that you almost know from the beginning when to laugh! And they love to joke about women driving. As if its some rare skill that only men are capable of doing. Like I have heard of this "woman" umpteen number of times from many men...she is the WOMAN who drives her car while SHE is doing her make up, and looking at herself in the rear mirror, holding a conversation over the phone, and sometimes even muching on an apple while driving! Multitasking at its best, HER only agenda in life is to hit the car before her. 99.99% of men have a dent on their cars caused by this mysterious WOMAN and she has been observed driving this recklessly in all the cities in India atleast. I heard people complaining and joking about her in Kolkata, in Delhi, in Bangalore and where not! For the greater interest of the entire human race, I think this WOMAN needs to be caught and her driving license should get cancelled at once. Whats more she should be given a lifetime ban on appliying make up and having apple.

And till the time we can nail her down, can we sincerely request our male friends to come up with some different jokes on the driving skill of women please?

Nightmare

I had a nightmare last night, and am scared and lonesome to face it,
It seemed so true and gave me creeps...
I was alone fighting the devils, was lacking courage and grit
Was amongst corpses and demons, my morale was losing grips

I looked for help, and I offered to God my prayers
Help there was none, and God was firm
"This is what happens when you hurt others"
He said, "Now pay for all the wrongs you have done"

I looked for you, incase you were there, my heart said you would save me
I looked around and found you atlast
You were amongst the corpse, I was shocked to see
You were lying still as dead, I was aghast!

"How can I help you, for you have killed me with your venom", you said
"Day in and day out, hurting me and crushing me too"
"I dont feel any pain for you, for now I am dead"
"Am free from all the pain and misery, caused by you"

Thats when I realized what I have done, to satisfy my fake ego
Never ever appreciating all the little things you did
In pursuit of my false pride, I let you go
Am now reaping the sour fruits of my deed

I want to apologize, my love for all the things that I have done
I want to tell you now I know for sure
What happens when all you look for, is love but get none
And get pushed away by all to a land obscure

All you wanted was a little comfort, a hand to hold you firm
And tell you, "Dont worry, I'm there"
"Fail if you may, its ok by me, there is no harm"
"Together we shall succeed for sure, even if its late and meagre"

I want to tell you how I overlooked all the small steps you took
For I was thinking big and fair
Overlooking your success, measured in your units
Pushing you hard towards despair

You must have cried, but I didnt see your tears
You did plead, but none I heard
You must have been scared, but I overlooked your fears
In order to fulfil my principles, I had your dreams all scattered.

I salute you for your courage today, though I always called you coward
For someone to bear all these and more,
You faced all condenmation and yet always showered
Your unconditional love to me galore

I woke up from my sleep and the nightmare did end
But it gave me a new start
The wrongs I did, I have to mend
Only that will purify my heart

You are gone, and I dont blame you for going away
I cant undo what has been done
Sorry is a word that we often dont get to say
To people who have left us and gone

The "sorry" stays with me like a promise to the Father
Never to hurt anyone again
We shall meet for sure, either in this world or the other
Its so long, till then....