Twin Flame

Deep in the heart of every human being, lies the knowledge of his/her twin flame or soul mate, perhaps covered by the dust accumulated for years due to the disappointments of Earthly relationship experiences. Whether or not we agree, the awareness of this twin flame relationship becomes of primary importance to every human being. It is one of the major keys to our awakening to the heart at the micro level and to the transformation of Earth at the macro level. In the human spiritual “genome” is a code of Love, activated by opening to the soul mate that will help us to embody Love on Earth and change our world to a peaceful, loving place. Would there be strife if each one of us were truly in Love? Think about it. In today’s life, Love has more been associated with GETTING rather than GIVING. The spiritual path to Love, on the contrary, is all about selfless giving. It’s need of the time now to change our view of relationship and to begin exploring Love from giving, from the heart.

I read somewhere that we human beings are all cells in the heart of God. And each of these cells has two parts – one masculine and one feminine. This two-part cell is the original “Adam and Eve” of creation – the manifested form of God’s love. This is not about gender on Earth, but about charges of the electricity of love. As the embodiment of God's Love, as pieces of God's heart, we are not only made in the image of God and living within God's heart but we are actively creative as is God. Our thoughts are active and are creating our life at every moment. However, we can only create at our level of understanding that is formed in our MIND. The difference between living from the mind (limited) and living from the heart (unlimited) is precisely the difference between EGO (getting) and SPIRIT (giving). Thoughts in mind are always formed and accompanied by fear, lack, greed and aggression. In contrast, as we learn to shift to the level of true feeling in the heart, we begin to manifest “heart love”. We begin to experience life through the heart’s intelligence rather than through the more limited MIND or EGO. “Maya” or “Illusion” is what our mind perceives. The Real World, the God’s world can only be experienced by letting go of our ego and raising ourselves by opening our hearts. It’s only then that we will understand the concept of Twin Flame or Soul Mate.

Our Twin Flame has always been with us but until we reach a certain openness of heart, we cannot perceive him/her. When we ask God's help to open our hearts to our Soul Mate, the molecules which make up our ever moving energy field go into motion and the reflection on Earth of the Twin Flame with whom we were created actively moves toward us. We do not have to go anywhere or do anything special. As we become Love, that love will show itself in us and we will literally call and draw our Twin Flame towards us. Look with the eyes of your heart; you will recognize your soul mate. As we grow on the Soul Mate path, we understand that the person in front of us will always reflect to us perfectly the state of our Love, the state of our heart. The Law of Resonance is the most basic law of spiritual attraction -- "like attracts like." In our relationship, then, we are able to see immediately if we are living from the heart or from the ego because our partner will reflect this back to us. I have experienced this in my life. When I gave more importance to ego, I got back the same from my partner. Next time when you complain about your relationship and/or partner, close your eyes and think twice. Do you do the similar things that you are complaining about? I can assure you if you are honest to yourself, the answer will be positive. If you want more Love, what is the practical (and spiritual) thing to do? Give more Love. God asks us to look within ourselves deeply and honestly. Are we truly open to Love? It takes a strong person with a great desire for Love to admit feeling closed to Love.

As a couple in a relationship makes the decision to choose Love, to open their hearts, their relationship will transform. The decision to live from the heart, to put the other person first, must be made again and again and again, on a daily basis. As Love becomes the priority, the couple's lives will shift dramatically. Then the Soul Mate relationship is realized and Love becomes a living reality. This turns on that genetic Twin Flame code within which awakens us into our true state – the Love that brings us Home. It does not matter if someone “looks within” or “looks outside” themselves. It only matters that they are opening their heart to Love. And if they are, their Twin Flame would be there. The Soul Mate is the Heart -- The heart of Love -- The heart of life. For the Soul Mate is the truth of you, the truth of your own great heart. Twin Flames of Love creating the portal, the vessel, the Holy Grail of Love through which all things are nourished.

The first and foremost key in the awakening of humanity is the realization of Soul Mate. Do you know how you say that two people fit together like lock and key? The turning of that key in that lock becomes the opening, the cracking of the seed... It becomes the moment when what you are gives way to what you will become. I cannot tell you how profound this is, but your heart will tell you. There truly are no words for this miracle of Love. The miracle for which all of your journeys have prepared you -- all of your lives, all of your lessons, all of the things you have built and stored over the centuries in the special treasure chest of your Highest Self, awaiting the moment when all is ready. The moment when you are ready, when your Soul Mate is ready, and when humanity is ready. The longing for Love that is within most of us is not a weakness. Our longing for Love is placed in our hearts by God. It is our divine call. It is the spiritual desire for our true home, for our right and real relationship with Him and with our true Love. It’s only a matter of time that we realize this universal fact and accept it with an open heart. Sooner or later, this is the path every human being has to take. Love makes everything right in our world, not because it is a fantasy, but because it brings us back in touch with Almighty.

When you fall in Love you can see these connections. You are able to feel the life in everything. You find compassion for others because your heart is open. Love is not a fantasy. Love is what is real. Everything else is the fantasy, and not only a fantasy, it is a lie. It is a lie of the ego that leads you to believe you can live better without Love. The result is the world you see. The denial of Love in all its forms is what creates sickness and pain, despair and abuse. The more Love is denied, the "sicker" the society. Do everything in your power to contradict the lies. Do everything you can to acclaim the truth of Love. Hold on to your belief in Love, NO MATTER WHAT.

No Matter What

No matter what they tell us; No matter what they do
No matter what they teach us; what we believe is true

No matter what they call us; however they attack
No matter where they take us; will find our own way back
I can't deny what I believe; I can't be what I am
I know our love is forever; I know no matter what

I always liked the phrase "no matter what" , and believed in it. Though very rarely, but there are a few things in my life that are "no matter what". Very few, I admit. I know that if there is 1 thing that I feel "no mater what" about, thats universal, or forever for me. Its about following one' heart under all tiring circumstances. If your heart beleives in something, follow it with all your conviction even if the whole world turns against you, laughs at you or tries to manipulate you. This is my principle as well. I stand for what I believe in, irrespective of whether others agree with me. A similar thing, to quote from Tagore,

"Jodi tor daak shune keu na ashe tobe ekla cholo re"

Of course, am no expert on Tagore, but this line echoes the same sentiments and spirit that don't expect the whole world to tune in with you in every venture of yours, but nevertheless, if you believe in something then don't wait for anybody to approve of it. Move ahead with utter conviction to follow your heart.

If only tears were laughter; if only night was day

If only prayers were answered; then we would hear God say

No matter where they tell you; no matter what they do

No matter what they teach you; what you believe is true

And I will keep you safe and strong; sheltered from the storm

No matter whre its barren; a dream is being born

This again echoes something I firmly believe in... in the line of Alchemist...if you believe in something and if you are committed to it, the Universe will conspire to make that happen for you. God is with you, if you are with yourself, just lik God helps those who help themselves.

No matter who they follow; no matter where they lead

No matter how they judge us; I'll be everyone you need

No matter if the sun don't shine; Or if the skies aren't blue

No matter what the ending; my life began with you

I cant deny what I believe; I cant be what am not

I know this love's forever; thats all that matters now

NO MATTER WHAT...

This part is my personal favorite, as I relate to it moe than anything. People complain that I give too much importance to Love, much more than it's due. I accpet the first part, yes, I give, but the latter part is debatable. Anyways, coming back to this song, this part speaks my heart. No matter what ever happens, no matter if I am condemned or appreciated, no matter what the whole world thinks about us, I know what we are to each other and I believe it with utmost sincerity. I dont know what the ending will be, but I know my life began with you, and I can't deny this univerdal truth...NO MATTER WHAT.

If you ever love someone, love him/her will all your heart till the very end... NO MATTER WHAT. Otherwise, if love is NO THAT IMPORTANT, like you claim, then what is the need for claiming to love somebody in the first place? Think about it...

Power

Power is a wonderful thing to possess...and execute. I always dream of having the POWER to rule the world, change it for betterment and make a difference...the dream started when I was a 5 yr old and continues till date. The reasons why I want POWER changed from innocent ones to the more complicated ones, but nevertheless, the dream continues...

Power is a good thing to have, its how we use it makes all the difference. For eg, Both soldiers and terrorist have POWER of weapons...one uses them for the benefit of mankind and the other uses them for its destruction. POWER in itself is neutral. Over the years as I grew up, my conception of POWER changed. While in school I used to idolise my teachers, and the POWER they had in teaching us. I wanted to be a teacher. I would also idolise my doctor who had the POWER to relieve me from any physical illness, and i wanted to be a doctor. This continued and I wanted to be almost everything and everybody because of the POWER they had of something or the other. Its only when I grew up and looked back I realized, we all have POWER...something or the other. And I realized, with great POWER, comes greater RESPONSIBILITY...responsibility of executing the power in a better way, right way. "Right" again is a very relative word...what is right for me may not be right for you and vice versa. But then thats where we have our "education" and "value" system to help us, right?

With all the IPL mudslinging thats happenning, I am sure almost all of us have some opinion or the other about the whole issue. Our Nation deals with so many problems everyday...like only a couple of months back there was an issue of Shiney Ahuja, and now am not sure if there is any follow up or where he stands today...media, and people at large have forgotten about him because there were so many other "attractions" after him, from Sania-Shoiab wedding to the latest being the IPL Blunder. These issues keep us "entertained" in our otherwise dull life. We really dont bother much about the consistent and steep price rise, or increasing power failure...these are things which we are used to. We worry more about Sania's wedding masalas, and Aamir's pet's name.

Coming back to IPL, and why am I mentioning this with POWER... well what Lalit Modi did, what Mr. Tharoor did, I think we should look beyond...much beyond. Out of sheer curiosity, I googled on Lalit Modi and found his biography in wikipedia. Amazing "POWERFUL" life he had ever since his birth. Born in a wealthy and successful business family, having a Rs. 40 billion business empire, and having some great achievement early in life that included getting arrested on charges of conspiracy to traffic coccaine and assault with deadly weapon with an intent to kill, to indiction on second-degree kidnapping etc...what more do you expect from a personality like his? Do you expect him not to cheat? not to lie? ...Now, he always possessed POWER...and he used them against humankind...he had attended the best of schools and colleges...so education was also there...but what lacked is a "VALUE SYSTEM"...a value system that would have stopped him from doing what he did. And that stops him from doing what he is doing now... and mark my words, he will do similar things again in his life...he has POWER and his CONSCIENCE chooses to misuse it.

Why single out Lalit Modi...what about our great politicians, our leaders, our Statesmen...they all misuse their POWER dont they? Big cricketers, big filmstars, big authors, you just name them, and you will see 99.99% of them misuse the power they have. They all have had the best of education but what they didnot have was a "value system" that stopped their conscience from doing what they did. Open lies, denynig their acts, bribing, malpractising, corruption...these things are accepted by their conscience. So many times we have seen these minirters denynig things till the time they are porved... am sure when they were kid, they were not taught by their parents... "Satyameva Jayate"

And why single out them...what about you and me? Are we not all similar? We lie, dont we? we cheat, dont we? we bribe, dont we? We support corruption, dont we? and above all we also misuse our POWER, dont we? ...Common, dont deny... tell me do you give your maid and driver their due? always? You bargain with the poor vegetable vendor in your local market for Re. 5, but you accept steep price rise and dont raise a voice...why? with the vegetable vendor you have POWER, with your Government you have no POWER till the next election, so you shut your mouth, close your eyes, and kill your conscience there...so you see? We all do this...and if we are busy doing this, how will we teach out kidds not to lie, not to support corruption etc? What "value" are we passing them to? Tomorrow my son can be a Lalit Modi, who knows?

So you see, we all have Lalit Modi within us. We are not much different from him. But may be, just may be your and my conscience is still alive...thats why we are condemning him...may be by doing so, we are actually condemning ourselves? Think about it...and dont let your conscience sleep forever...wake up and be a "true" human being, before being a "successful" human being... Your honesty would be your biggest "success", "achievement" and "triumph"...go for it...and stop giving this society more of Lalit Modis....

Mothers!

Mothers are very rare species...they are available in Human History from the time immortal. My tribute here is to the "human" mothers though mothers are available in every living species on earth, but my believe is that amongst all other species, "human mothers" are the most advanced. They vary in shape, size, color, and nature but more or less there are certain "general" characteristics that they abide by. But this post is not about those general characteristics... because that would be a waste of time, as even general characteristics are given "individualistic" touch by these species worldwide. Say for eg, "Mothers are caring"...its a general trait...but the "care" shown by "Indian" mothers are much different that that shown by "American" mothers. Even within India, you will find characteristic differences amongst different provinces. My blog here is mostly for "Bong Mothers"...and am inspired to write this because of a particular incident that I witnessed today.

I consider myself to be one of the "lower rankers" when it comes to the characteristic of "dedication towards your child's education" amongst the mothers. Though my daughter is pretty chilled out about the same, and though according to her I am a "cool mom"...but "coolness" is not supposed to be a "good mom's" characteristic,atleast not in this part of the world...at times I suffer from accute"inferiority complex" particularly when I am amongst other "not-so-cool moms" in birthday parties. Needless to say, they are the superior varieties amongst Bong Moms... its like the last girl in the class sitiing with the toppers. They have every detailed knowledge of the school, starting from the teachers (I know thats obvious) to the color of the bathroom tiles. They know which teacher is what "type" (dont ask me how many "types" of teachers are there) and they fight with them for 0.5 marks deduction in their ward's tests. I vaguely try to remember the subject on which my daughter has a test on any particular day. Dont blame me as these days kids have tests almost everyday under different categories...class test, block test, weekly test, and hold your breadth...surprise test. I think both me and may daughter deserve kudos for going through the pain of all these tests (well daughter goes through them, and I take the pain to remember the tests). By now, am sure, you are well aware of the rank of my "motherhood" interms of "dedication towards your child's education". I get nervous in birthday parties when I sit with all other moms (by the way I get to meet them only in such parties as otherwise I hardly go to school to fight with the teachers for marks).

Birthday parties are fun...I love to see these dolls all decked up and ofcourse having cake when you are putting on weight even drinking water, gives me a high. But my "fun" gets all ruined up when am sitting amongst all other "mothers"...their topic of discussion starts with..."You know Sushmita Ma'am deducted half a mark of my daughter in the Eng Lit test last week, only because she forgot to put a fullstop!!!...how could she? I went and told her, Sushmita Ma'am, my daughter didnt forget to put the fullstop there its just that it was not put with force and so blame it on the Link gel pen that she was using, that went missing...see here Ma'am, her next word there started with a Capital Letter...if she had not put the fullstop then why would she begin the next word with a Capital Letter?"...Amazing! am not too sure what Sushmita Ma'am said to that, but am sure if I was Sushmita Ma'am I would have fainted right there...or maybe quit! Half a mark deduction is such a big sin, am sure Sushmita Ma'am did never think of! Poor her.

All other mothers by now would agree to this mother who is a "victim" of Sushmita Ma'am crule nature of deducting marks! Other mothers would provide their sympathy and support and start recollecting their horrible experiences right from the days of Nursery I (our kids are in Std V now). This would go on and I would be looking at all mothers feeling highly guilty. Topic them moves to the pattern of questions that might come this year and in the next 5-6 years...all these mothers have done serious researches by borrowing test copies and books and other reference materials from the "senior mothers" (I mean mothers whose kids are senior to our kids). Then they start repenting how their sons/daughters dont study beyond 4 hours in the evening! Now this is precisely the time when I fall off the chair...4 hours at a strech?!!! I dont remeber when I sutdied that long, how can i even think of forcing my daughter to that...infact I feel very happy the day she crosses the 1 hour mark! We celebrate that evening with special dinner at home. But then, am low ranker so this should not be mentioned here in the first place. I look at the kids around and somehow feel sorry for them...with so much of pressure right from their childhood, will they be able to "love" studies ever? Anyways, my thoughts dont matter...now not all mothers can be wrong...

I accept my "inability" to be a good mom no matter how "cool" my daughter thinks I am...but today my inferiority complex took multiple heaps! Today, I went to pick up my daughter from her school...thought of giving her a surprise amodst all her "surprise tests". There is very narrow lane besides the main building where all the cars are parked and kids come in long spiral queues holding their guardains' hands, all tired and exhausted. Now this lane at this point of time is more crowded than the busiest and busient of streets during office hours. On the side of the lane there is a narrow sewage canal passing through, that is where these small kids relieve themselves. Now, I dont like the idea of kids relieving themselves on the street like this, but cant blame them when even at this age, there fathers also do the same, but today lets not talk about it. So what I was saying is here I saw a small boy (my guess is that he would be in Std I) relieving him...and guess what? His mother was standing behind him and reading out a poem to him which he is repeating (like a "badhyo chele") after her! I couldnt take it any more...I mean a 6 year old boy, slogging in school for 4.30 hours and then coming out with an urgency to relieve himself is not even getting spared for 2 mins till he is done with! I couldnot imagine what urgency lied there for the mother who had to teach her the poem when he was reliving himself under a scorching sun at 12 noon!...This mother should get the mother of the decade...only if I knew her too well I would have advised her to teach me "motherhood"... but since I didnt, I dint dare to.

So here I am, highly frustrated with myself, writing a blog on "Mothers"...

Valentine's Day

Like every year, this year I celebrated Valentine's Day just the way I had dreamt of. Ok fine, am not honest with the statement. Actually I spent it (un)happily cooking dinner for some of my husband's side relatives who were expected home for dinner (husband's side relatives make it even more tragic). I know in most part of the world Valentine's day is spent with a lot of love, share and care. Gifts, good meal, romantic evening they are the part and parcel of this day, but not in "my world". So I thought that rather than cribbing about it, why not advise men on what they should plan for Valentine's day so that atleast some women celebrate it better than the way I do.

I would like to hope that for most men, the very mention of Valentine's Day conjures up memories (if at all) of a last minute, fruitless shopping expedition followed by a quarrel with their girlfriend or wife. Why I said "I hope" is because my man never did any of these things. Women, on the other hand, tend to think romantic thoughts: champagne, dining by candlelight, strolling violinists, and an after-dinner brandy in front of a roaring fireplace. This scenario exists only in their fantasies, mind you. After all, they are dating or married to a MAN!!!

Its time that most women should know in their Valentine's Day heart of hearts that the best they can realistically expect is convenience store fare -- a roll of adhesive tape, a pink baby shower balloon or, if they're really lucky, a jumbo bag of potato chips accompanied by a chocolate bar.

Nevertheless, females can't help hoping that someday, most preferably in this lifetime, they will indeed enjoy a romantic Valentine's Day interlude. One that doesn't end with the realization that they've been (a) dreaming; (b) watching a movie; or (c) reading a book with M&B on the cover. Atleast I belong to this group. Every year I hope I will have a Valentine's Day to remeber lifetime with all my dreams come true. But alas, my Valentine's day are just like anyother days of the year, but I never give up hoping. Some day...someday...someday...

Okay, so we've established that Valentine's Day is unlikely to involve candles, champagne, violins, soft music at the background, and slow romantic dancing. Still, it doesn't hurt to shoot for at least some of the above. Here's my guide to you men to woo your girlfriend/wife. Will your beloved appreciate your efforts? Of course she will. Females are flexible, understanding, merciful souls. You don't believe me? Then tell me what she's doing with you.

Ok guys, the key to achieving a romantic Valentine's Day ... or at least surviving it without bodily harm ... is to be aware that it is in fact Valentine's day. This is easier than it sounds; During the two weeks that precede February 14th (that's right -- every year Valentine's Day will fall on February 14th -- shocking revealation isn't it?) it will be impossible to go anywhere without tripping over heart-shaped boxes of chocolate and/or attractive women deploying perfume-spewing weaponry. From Radio, to newpaper, from the city malls to local grocery shop, every where the theme will be "Valentine's Day", so its almost impossible for you to miss it, ok?

Should you buy candy or perfume for your significant other? Good choice, but please proceed with caution. For instance, you'll probably want to avoid any chocolate marked half-off post-Christmas sale, especially if it's labeled "dietetic."

As for perfume, by now you should be very familiar with your wife's/girlfriend's taste. Does she go for spicy scents? Delicate florals? Earthy musk with just a hint of day-two boxer briefs? Hint -- don't buy any scent that reminds you of your mother.

Another tip that Valentine's Day is near is the glut of lingerie catalogues cluttering all over. Not to mention the pornographic undergarment ads scattered throughout your daily paper. Red alert: Although it's okay to stash Victoria's Secret catalogues with your Playboy back issues (assuming you don't get caught) lingerie is NOT a suitable Valentine's gift. Except, perhaps, for you.

Okay, V-Day has finally arrived. You've bought gifts for your loved one and hidden them in a safe place. You even remember where you hid them. And you've thoughtfully made dinner reservations at the Taj ... or, at least, the Chinese restaurant down the street. Now, please remember, Valentine's day is once in a year affair, please dont think too much about the expense, for God's sake. Thats such a turn-off. Its ok to go over board once a year. After all it will not cost you the whole of your annual salary, it will not leave you bankrrupt and it will definitely not take away your life times savings.

One more thing to remember. Please dont be late that evening. Dont get tricked into working late, trust me your company will survive if you leave office early on Valewntine's day. Or even worse, please dont lose track of time during one of those gripping debates about whether Sachin or Sourav is the greatest cricketer of the century, or who scored how many goals in a game that took place DECADES ago.

Instead, get yourself home as quickly as possible and into her loving arms. Who knows? After all your hard work, there may even be a payoff.

Money=Monkey if you mis use it

How much is 4 lakh out of 500 crore? Right at the moment am not too sure how many 0's are there in 500 crore though, but my common sense tells me it would not be more than 0.05%. So for someone who has 500 crore, what is 4 lakhs for him? I have 4 lakhs rupees as my asset so probably what 200/ is to me is what 4 lakh rs is to the great Haldiram co-owner Prabhu Shankar Agarwal!

If I want a plot of land where someone else is already having a set up that earns him livelihood, will I offer him 200/??? and then if he refuses I will arrange for his murder?! Unbelievable!!!

But such are the rich people of our country! Want to ask great Mr Agarwal, if he really wanted that place to increase his income atleast 40-60 times, why could he not offer Pramod Sharma Thakur something around 4 crore? I dont know whether the latter would have agreed or not, but that is beyond the scope of discussion right now. All I am asking is the great Mr. Agarwal could only think of letting go of 0.05% of his asset to acquire someone else' s land where he planned to set up a multistoreyed food mall. Does he think "money" could buy him everything? May be he thought "money" could save him from getting punished as well? Well am glad that he has been sentenced for life-time! he deserves every bit of it and more.

This incident makes me wonder...does money make us "inhuman". How much more is just "enough" for us. Do we have this beastly attitude in each one of us? Tell me for instance, dont you bargain for 20/ with your vegetable vendor? Why do you do that? What is 20/ ruppes for you, who probably earns minimum 50,000/ a month? but still most of us will think twice before raising our maid's salary, or bargain our heart out for reducing 50/ in grocery? We go out over a weekend and spend 1000/ just like that watching movie and munching popcorn in the multiplex, but...we hate it when our driver asks for a 500/ raise after working for you for 1 year may be. If at night an auto driver asks for double the rate you preach him on 'honesty" etal...have we ever wondered how much of honesty do we have? If you have to have your passport renewed and the official asks for bribe, you give... you give because passport is required. Where does your "honesty" go when you bribe someone, or manipulate something.

Dear firends, I think we all have more than enough resources at our disposal. We dont need more, definitely not at the cost of supressing, exploiting others. So next time when you go buy vegetable from your local vendor pay him 50/ more, he will bless you. That 50/ may not mean much to you but for him it may be one square meal for his family. Give 20/ extra to an auto driver without being asked, common you spend much more on your luxuries! Dont let money make you a monkey. Be thankful for what you have and try to make atleast one person who is worse off than you happy everyday. There is more happiness in giving than in getting, or owrse, in snatching. Go enjoy that real happiness

Western Ape

Hotels like The Park, Ista impress me a lot. For that matter any 4-5 star hotels in our country do. Courtesy IBM, I get to stay in a lot of these hotels. Infact if I were my friend or neighbour instead of being ME then probably I would have been envious. After a second thought, let go of "probably". But because I am ME and not my neighbour or friend, I feel pathetic! Why? Let me explain.
Imagine a grand 5-star hotel reception. You are in awe of the place as you enter, probably miss a step or two as well. A polite well-dressed receptionist with a plastic smile greets you with a "Namaskar" and you feel proud to be an Indian. You feel proud that your country has such magnificient monuments, oops, I mean hotels. And brimming with this sense of pride you follow your personal floor manager to your room. Ah the room is just made up of your dream...yes dream, more so, if you are born and brought up in a middle class family. You eagerly wait for the manager to leave you alone with your dream, and he does giving another plastic smile.

The scene so far is nice. But the misery comes when you enter the bathroom. Bathroom is again made up of dreams, and the only thing that you can do comfortably in there, is probably sleeping, and...dreaming. I mean what else? It has a marble flooring expensive bath tub where u can lie down, sleep and dream, but unfortunately it doesn't have a toilet with proper amenities so that you can wash yourself...again the kind of practise you have followed ever since your childhood!

Now if I am abroad I know I cant expect such a toilet because people there are not used to the same. But in my own country?!!! And that too after shelling out around 8k per night?! I mean why? I dread staying in a 5 star only because of this. I would not be jealous of myself if I were not ME only because of this.

My question to all these 5 star hotels...why being in India are you aping West? Why cant we have the right to "wash" ourselves after toilet like most Indians do? Why are we "forced" to use the "Toilet Papers" instead? I appreciate the fact that probably most of their business come from the foreigners who visit India, but can't they have both the facilities (if at all having toilet rolls can be termed a "facility") simultaneously? Why deprive us Indians our small n big habits for your foreign earnings?

Aman Ki Asha!

Quite an initiative, though it interested me the least as I said earlier. However, why am I mentioning this again is...though artists of both the countries are performing on the same stage across borders (initiative taken by TOI), The Pakistani cricketers are not playing in IPL this year... I am not going into the details of why or why not they are playing in IPL and blah blah... but all am I saying is an "unrealistic" project like "Aman Ki Asha" is waste of everything mortal...time, energy, resources and hopes!

You pay the artists they sing and dance for us, they give lofty speech and take accolades away. And then we have news on border terrorism every alternate day, we have news on Pakistani players not playing in IPL and all such thing...in the same newspaper that advertises their concerts and events...tell me, tell me, where is the "Aman"...or is it only "Asha" which will stay an "Asha" forever?

Emotional Atyachaar

My morning begins with Times Of India...well actually it begins with a yawn, followed by internal Shakespearrean conflict of "to get up or not to get up"...but after I get up...or pushed from my bed literally...my day begins with TOI. And when I began my morning on the first day of a new decade, my eyes fell upon the first page of the TOI, I chancedupon the announcement of a new initiave : Aman ki Aasha (read, emotional atyachaar)

I dont drink, so I really dont know what a hangover on the 1st of January is, but am sure it could not be any different from what I was going through reading that page. Accepted and understood that we entered a new decade, accepted and understood that we need to be different. Accepted and understood that life moves on and that "to err is human and to forgive is divine"...but the past decade that witnessed so much of terrorism, started with the attacks on our Parliament and ended with 26/11 and with so many lives getting affected, I want to move on but dont want to "forgive". I respect Gandhiji, but dont agree with giving away my other cheek for free to slap if someone finds me worthy of slapping!!! I may not slap back, agreed...but I will definitely remeber his slap forever unless I suffer from what Amitabh Bacchan suffered in "BLACK". Also Aman ki Asha, and bridging gap between the two countries...well atleast I dont have the guts to talk about these infront of Khushboo Jha or say the Kashmiri Pundits. I didnt quite find it interesting or even worth reading... rather my mind was more concentrating on what could have been saved if Aman ki Asha was not there.

First and foremost, we could save our environment...look at the amount of paper we are wasting on this "initiative". I have nothing against Pakistan, "the people". The people there are just like me. Infact I have a Pakistani colleague of mine and we were even friends on Facebook (till I defunced my FB id for some personal reason). But this Aman ki Asha or whatever, is pure waste. So my earnest request to TOI...dont waste paper on this at such a large scale please.

Secondly, its like playing with our emotions... give us a break. What you are asking us to do is forget the past and the present for a "dreamy" future"...sorry boss, thats not possible.

Am sure TOI is spending huge amount of money and resource in this initiative. They can utilize them for more pressing and urgent cause...they can infact open a camp for educating our "politicians"

And last but not the least...they can stop this "Emotioanl Atyachaar"...

Chetan Bhagat, FPS...and 3 Idiots

This is tough for me...I love them all. When you love both the gangs@war, its tough to take a stand. But the brighter side is, when you love both the gangs...you will never be biased...you will just speak your mind, and this is exactly what I intend to do here.

One honest confession of Aditi (the reader)... I love Chetan Bhagat. Yes he is a cool dude who has given us Indians (specially the youths) something to look forward to in a Novel by an Indian author. I am conservative when it comes to reading. I prefer Agatha Christie, Sydney Sheldon, Paulo Coelho, P G Woodhouse etc etc. Indian authors?...hmmm, never sort of excited me much - not their fault though, it is my conservative attitude that needs to be blamed. Amitava Ghosh did help a bit...but only a bit. And then came Chetan Bhagat in my world -I mean not literally, though wish ;-) Initially when my cousins mentioned FPS (when it was first launched) and went gaga over the author I just snapped them off (being 6 years elder to them helped). Kept hearing about this cool IIT-IIM-turned- banker-turned-author but never felt like reading his offerings. To make matters worse, oneday I just chanced upon 1 night@Call Center...and I didnot like it. So Chetan Bhagat chapter ended in my life...atleast that s what i thought then.

A couple of months back a friend told me about 2 states...also since these books cost 95/ only (thats another good thing about his books) thought let me read it, I have only 95/ bucks to lose. Man, I just loved his book this time. I mean, yes, I agree he is not an embryo of a Nobel prize winning author , but he is cool...his style is fun...his humor is witty...and he did have a message! I loved 2 states and then, as if in a flash back mode, I read FPS (I just loved it), and 3 mistakes of my life (nothing great but liked his style of humor, and again with a message)...but all these were enough for me to fall in love with Chetan Bhagat and his books. So as I said in the beginning, I love Chetan Bhagat against all odds in my life.

Honest confession of Aditi (the movie-watcher)...I love Raju Hirani (not with the same kind of emotion that I have for Chetan Bhagat, but nevertheless, I love him). I mean I dont wish I was Mrs. Raju Hirani in even my wildest dream, but I love his work...oh he, as a director, has a magic touch. I loved all his movies...Munna Bhai MBBS, Lage Raho Munna Bhai, and was eagerly awaiting 3 idiots...why?...well the reasons are
1) Raju Hirani is the director
2)the story is loosely adapted from FPS (this is what I knew)
3)Aamir Khan is thr - another man I just respect too much
And yes...the team bowled me over again. I read the movie made 100crores business in the openning week...well out of that 2000/ is my contribution. Loved the movie and am planning to break my record of watching Maine Pyar Kiya 50 times with this one.
Amazing movie...and then saw/read/heard about the controversy...heard my sweetheart Chetan Bhagat is upset about the credentials?! I was shocked, and ashamed...and yes, once again I thougt...wish I was Mrs. Chetan Bhagat...i would have stopped him for stooping so low for sure.

So I thought i would write an opne letter to him, only to tell him, how his fans are feeling right now with all this monkey dancing around the press....

Hi Dude,

I feel sorry for you that you have got a meagre amount of 11,00,000/ from the Producer when the movie has crossed 175 crore business and is still going strong. I can relate to it... I feel exactly the same when I read the quarterly profit report of my organisation (IBM) and compare it with my salary slip! But there is not much we can do about it right? Common dude, take this as a "lesson learnt"...better bargain well next time, but atleast stop being a "Chatur Ramalingam" yaa... Your pointing scene by scene in the media! God, Chetan, grow up! People who have read your story and watched the movie, know exactly whats being taken from your book...and who denied that? But the "story" of 3idiots...story of "Rancho"...is not yours...they have adapted some part from your story and they have paid you for that...the payment may seem less now, but thats something you guys mutually agreed upon, right? then what is this fuss all about?...dont be a kiddo...I agree, our education system should change...otherwise an IIT-IIM grad, doesnt understand this basic minimum?
Dude, you said you have problem that they put your name at the end? So whats the fuss about? there are so many movies when the credits roll out in the end only... stop crying baby...next time put this in your contract...details with when you want your name, what should be the font size etc ok? we learn from our mistakes, dont we?
Then I read you were upset bcos your mother was upset because she missed your name in the movie. Ah, you know Indian mothers na? Remember Krish's mother? (2 states)...she would cry even when bhindi masala burnt! Our mothers are very delicate, and beyond a certain age limit they lose their eye sight as well... so may be a tight "jaadu ki jhappi" alongwith an eye-appointment will make your mom happy...
Like an ardent fan of yours I felt proud to watch this movie which is loosely adapted from your FPS. I cheered when I saw your "punches", witty "one-liners"...and told my husband excitedly about how they are actually your contributions...and am sure many like me felt proud... but dude, you have let us down with your "Chatur" act. to quote VIRUS... "Main tumhe sympathy de sakti hoon, support nahin"

The story credit is not entirely yours, and The production house has done everything that is mentioned in the contract...so stop fussing and move on in life... take this as a learning expereince...I will, as well...we must use our bargaining power to strike a better deal, dude! not cry and make fun of ourselves...

Love,
Aditi

Awakenning of a Soul

Life, they say, is a school where we come to learn and grow. Over the last couple of years am readig quite a few interesting sutffs that suggest that we are immortal. We keep coming on this earth again and again to learn...learn form our mistakes and experiences in this world and grow richer and richer till we reach a stage where we can easily cross the karmic cycle. And then we reach a higher plane.

Hmmm, interesting thought...whether to believe or not to believe in this can be an interesting subject of debate and discussion. But that concept is interesting no doubt. I have live before and i will live after... Aditi Mitra, nee Sinha will die one day but I will be born again! Just as prior to Aditi Sinha, I have lived as X, or Y, or Z.

Aditi Sinha has a set of likes and dislikes. Aditi Sinha has her own set of opinions. But what if I had been something before that I hate now? Say, for eg, am a staunch Hindu and I hate Muslims... but what if I was a Muslim in my last birth? May be I hated Hindus then? Suppose a white today who follows racial discrimination will be bork as a dark skinned person in his next life... Interesting, isnt it? This concept lets us see a bigger picture...a picture much bigger than our narrow likes and dislikes. I am born and brought up in a particular way and so have my opinions formed - they are opinions of Aditi Sinha...not the soul in me - the soul in me loves all and hates none. Because it is very rich in experience which I am not even aware of. My ego doesnt affect it...it is above all this. It loves all... it has no hatred, no jealousy, no negative feelings at all - its knows these things are immortal. What is mortal and stay forever is Love...and only Love... by love you can conquer all...and by love you can reach Him...He, the superpower - I call him super dude at times, knows and teaches only Love...

All our souls follow similar knowledge pattern though the depth varies. I think of it as a structured syllabus. If you are in Std IV you have a certain depth of knowledge. Once you rise up the ladder your knowledge base increases. Our souls are at different stages of those knowledge base... now this knowledge has nothing to do with the earthly knowledge we acquire - I think this is more about Love, Compassion and all the good things we read about in books... any person close to God can never differentiate between a Muslim and a Hindu, a Maharastrian and a Punjabi, an European and an American. Yes, as an Indian we should love India, but that doesnot mean we should hate or dislike any other country. These boundaries are man-made...when we are born, we are born as a child of the God...in the process we become a child of a Hindu or a Muslim or a Christian God... In Vienna, I saw a crow, and thought how different it is from a crow in India? I could see no difference there - but an European is definitely "different" from an Indian... intelligence of Human beings have many adversities...no wonder, we say, ignorance is bliss.

I know i jump from one topic to another, but hey! thats ok...am not writing an essay here! Its what my heart feels and like me my heart also does not follow rules. So coming back to the original concept - that our soul is the same whether we are born as a Hindu or a Muslim, as a rich or a poor...we have lied it all over the years, and experienced it all... then why as Aditi I have a preference over A to B...I may have been both A and B and may have experienced both? If only we realize this...if only I can realize that if I dont like A because he irritates me, its just a personal opinion of Aditi...the bigger picture is that "I" am much more than Aditi and "I" should realize that A is just a fellow being of mine...he is also learing and growing just the same way as I am... This makes it so easy to overcome anger, hatred, jealousy and all such negativites! yahhhhooo! my soul is indeed awakenning.

So all my dear and "not so dear" fellow students who am not so very fond of... please forgive me for all the harsh words I might have told you and for all the things i might have done to hurt you. That was Aditi you see, she hates you for you have done x,y,z to her and she didnt like it. She is jealous of you for you have a,b,c and she doesnt... but thats her...I realize that i have nothing against you. So what if you have tried to harm me or hurt me...I forgive you. So what if you have cheated on me and taken me for a ride, I forgive you. So what if you have done all the things that you shouldnt have done to me, I forgive you. For, you are also learning in this process as much as I am. And when you have hurmed me and hurt me you didnt meet your soul til then...so I pray, and wish that you meet your soul soon...so that you also realize hurting me is not the "real" purpose of your life...you have a much bigger cause to overcome, so all the best buddy...

Ah! am feeling nice now...positivity helps you see...so as I bid good night to myslef, I wish all those for whom I had negative feelings in me, and very happy life with full of learning experiences... Sweet Dreams!

P.S : My soul needs to sleep and take rest as well, so tomorrow I may come back to hating you from the core of my heart for trying to mess up with me, atleast till the time my soul awakens again. Till then, enjoy my wishes!

Mistakes - The only right thing in Life

(Apologies for a confused, jumbled post. But let me call it my Post-Modernist/ Anti-Positivist style).

Happily ever after…..Yes, maybe. Most of us want a life without grave illness or never see poverty. We do want our basics to be fine, whatever we think our basics are (basics you see is highly subjective).

Also, happiness is an ambiguous word. For some, happily ever after may mean five bottles of beer (my husband) and steaks everyday. Of course, we can’t define what makes people happy, matter of fact some people are drawn to depression. True, being sad somehow does it for them. All right, brand me as insensitive (no you cant really do that, as I myself, am in that phase at the moment), but hey, some people do have a subversive sense of ‘joy’.

No, no, this is not an attack on depressed people, don’t worry. This is about those irresistible imperfect choices. Wrong choices are alluring…that guy with the colorful Mohawk, that eyebrow piercing, that 90’s perm that made you look like an alien, that roadside snack, that candy the stranger gave…the first cigerratte and so on...

Look at fairytales. Somehow, most fairy tales are about wrong choices and their consequences and a journey to set it right. In Cinderella, Dad marries the wrong woman, prince falls for just that girl who is not invited to the ball…for that matter almost every fairytale is about wrong choices. I mean, for thousands of years we have told our children where wrong choices can lead us to only to ensure that they make that wrong choice! And that too in life we are left without the magic to make things fine again.

I do think making the wrong choice is the essence of life. We have to, or else how do we set it right again? Or not set it right, continue the misdeed and make a total mess. But doing the wrong thing is essential. Wait, there is a narrow border between stark stupidity and making mistakes. If you wear a superman cape and jump from a building it’s stupid, just plain stupid. But if you thought you could paint and joined an art class to only realize you can’t even draw a smiley face, then it’s a mistake.

So, why am I rambling about fairytales, mistakes, redemption, nemesis. I have no clue why. It’s like this inexplicable urge to go on a picnic with an aluminum vessel with girls on the beach and sing ‘Mausam mastana, rasta anjana’. See, that’s what I mean there is no logical reasoning. Also, when we are talking of mistakes logic and rationality are not the keywords.

Although, recently I have been thinking a lot about mistakes, wrong choices...I know, I have been thoughtful for a change instead of searching for free music online. All I can say, is my wrong choices were essential. This priceless lesson of life, yes, I was wrong and I want to set it right. Let me define myself in the Bollywood way. I would rather say ‘Bade bade shehron mein aisi choti choti baatein hoti rehti hai’ than sob like Kaka and sing ‘Humse ka bhool hui…’

...ok, I know you now want to label this post as "fully faltoo"... but dont do tht. It is not...this post is dedicated to the the miskates of my life which has made me what I am today...

Conference Calls

Canada. California. New York. Armonk. Mexico. And, to ice the cake, Bangalore. The conference call was scheduled to start at 9:30 in the morning, and at 9:29, I realized that the phone in the corner of my desk did not have an international calling facility. I was sitting there, all prepared, my papers spread out in front of me, my pen handy, my head going over the different methods of opening the conversation, saying “Hi” or “Hello” or “Good morning”, and then, I sat there listening to the sweet yet hideous female voice telling me that this service isn’t available on this phone.

I wondered what to do. The clock ticked away the seconds of the one minute left for me to sign into the call. I gulped and took a decision that I knew I’d regret. I flipped open my mobile and punched in the numbers. I prayed hard, hoping the call would end in a few minutes. It didn’t. It lasted for an hour and fifty minutes. I sighed and resigned myself for a fat bill this month. The recession time has hit our Industry big time. Companies are on cost cutting mode... but what about the poor employees? Am still dreading the time I will see the bill for this month....

Conference calls, according to me, are a supreme waste of time. I think more work can be accomplished through an email. The first twenty minutes are obviously spent in introducing all the people in the call. The next thirty-odd minutes go away in outlining the agenda for the conference call. The remaining hour or so is spent in asking people to speak up; apologizing for loud cell phones; apologizing for the rackets behind their respective backs; and finally, asking everyone present if they understood the last point. More often than not, there will be at least three jerks who would not have paid attention, and they would ask you to repeat the last point.

The frustrating thing about these conference calls is that you cannot abuse anyone verbally. If the same meeting is held over emails, then before sending each and every email, you can let out the wonderful stream of expletives, and feel good about yourself and the other person’s lack of knowledge. You can question his/her ability to think straight, his/her man-/womanhood, his/her ridiculous name, and lot of other things. But on a conference call, you have to hold your tongue and treat even the most outrageous of jerks with an amount of respect. It takes so much out of you. You can’t even make fun of funny names!

Anyway, I have had too many conference calls till now. I think I’ve devised a formula to survive each one of them. I call it “Apparent Indifference” - if you give the impression to the other jerks on the call that you’re indifferent about the outcome, then they’ll fall over themselves to spell out each and ever point of concern and make sure that each and every doubt has been answered. This, of course, helps me in making the meeting a success.

Oh, I hate conference calls. Of course, the only advantage the conference call has over board-room meetings is that you can fart loudly and get away with it... but having said that I have never enjoyed this experience much, only because I hate the idea of farting in public - with one exception - my husband! He is excused, i love him too much to feel irritated about this one (of the innumerable) bad habbit of his :-)

Auto-nomy of Autorickshaws

[Put your city name] autorickshaw drivers are evil, greedy, and uncivil anti-social elements.

This statement seems to have more support in Kolkata that both Mamta Bannerjee and Buddhadeb Babu's followers put together; or in Bangalore than all the Dravidian parties put together. It is also a frequent topic of discussion at most (well..middle class) social gatherings. The interesting thing is (at least for me) that there is little or no debate. It is a simply a one-way rant. [Any Indian city name] auto-drivers are scoundrels of the first (or even better..zeroth) order and that’s simply the end of the story. Since the unfortunate victims of this country-wide badmouthing orgy are usually not invited to middle-class social gatherings to narrate their side of the story, I have decided to play Devil’s advocate. As people see it, they are the devils and I am their advocate. I enjoy taking unpopular positions and I dont mind being clobbered for being so obviously on the wrong side of the issue.

Let’s a first get a few things straight. Very rarely do I ever encounter an honest, transparent and law-abiding auto driver in India. Just imagine my role as being a public prosecutor for a criminal who is not going to be able to attract any decent lawyer to defend him. All I am going to do is to ask some unasked questions and do my lawful duty by making an honest attempt to see things from the auto drivers’ perspective.

So let’s list down all the unquestionable “truths” about Indian autos and see if they stand up to some semblance of scrutiny.

Auto drivers use a lot of disrespectful and foul language.

Right. No debate about that. Auto drivers are not known for their politeness. But are we perhaps possibly dealing with a cultural difference here? An average Punjabi uses extremely profane curses as punctuation, prepositions and conjuctions (and the occasional interjection) on a day to day basis, but most people in North India may not take these curses literally. The day to day struggle of those below the middle class is expected to produce the occasional outburst of rudeness interspersed with the actual intended communication. And by the way, my educated and well-behaved husband also uses words beyond any strech of my imagination when he is driving.

The point: Dont read more into the language than is necessary. Politeness and propriety are often linked with socio-cultural backgrounds. Germans are rude. Americans are brash. Brits are snobbish. Auto drivers are ... like that.

Auto drivers are rude and uncouth

I know this is a little way-out, but have we ever stopped to consider how we behave with them? Do we all behave like angels? Or do we perhaps show a little bit of that age-old Indian class superiority (Caste..I am afraid is a bad word nowadays) when dealing with people who are, from an socio-economic standpoint, below us? Is it just possible, just a little, that a lot of us in the middle class are simply not used to “those sort of people” answering back or being assertive? Is there a slender possibility that we are part of this vicious circle of uncivility?

Auto drivers overcharge and do not respect government stipulated rates

Let’s ask this question. What is the “correct” rate for auto travel? How do we know that the government has not set ridiculously low rates, rates that keep the auto drivers in grinding poverty? An average Indian auto driver makes 30 rupees, while driving through nightmarish traffic. Just a thought. And about abiding by "government" stipulated rates... tell me something, how many of us providing services ever think about whether the charges we levy for our services are over or underrated? A doctor's fee, a lawyer's fee, a consultant's charges - r they all justified? The rare the skill of a doctor, the more he charges! A specialised doc will charge more than a regular MBBS... then why an autodriver will not charge you double the rate when it comes to hailing an auto at night, or when the supply is less??? Its economics, you see.

I believe standalone Meter regulated fares will never work. Auto drivers will always find a way to “heat” them up. So it is important to realize that there are 3 forces at play in this game. (The game is defined as the “negotiation” between prospective commuter and the auto driver)

1. The fare that the commuter is willing to pay
2. The fare that the auto driver is willing to expect

One of the problems is that the commuter does his calculations based on

1. An assumption that the auto driver is anyway likely to state an inflated fare
2. The amount he can afford based on his average earnings etc
3. An approximate idea of general economic inflation, government approved meter rates etc

While the auto driver does his calculations based on

1. The percentage of the fare that he will, in any case, have to pay as “hafta” to corrupt policemen
2. His understanding of inflation and prices of petrol etc
3. His estimation of
   how well off the commuter is
   how urgent is the commuter need
4. His desire to lead a life at a level above that of slum-level existence.

In this sort of an unbalanced game, I am just wondering if we should apply a free market model to autos. Of course, we will have to solve the problem of police ownership and cartels, but I think, a variable pricing model could work moderately better than what we have today. We accept variable pricing in a lot of situations - property rates, airline tickets, tatkal railway tickets etc. So how about a three tiered model of

• basic autos - with low end fares
• Mid-tier autos
• Luxury autos

The numbers of each one of them will be determined by actual demand. Further, a series of call-centres (kind of like the Call-taxi model) that log all auto journeys (start distance, end distance) and also monitor the legality of the meters. Auto drivers should also rotate between the three tiers to make the system fair for everybody. Where the government can play a role is to pay some sort of a monthly stipend to auto drivers that will go a long way to improve their lot and potentially reduce their desperation to cheat and fleece. How will the government pay for this? We could consider a per fare tax on mid-tier and luxury autos that the government earns.

Truth v/s Peace

There is this one conflict which probably all of us have experienced at some point of time or the other. My English teacher used to say (and probably, everybody has heard similar things from some senior or the other) that at every crossroad of life, you will get two roads. One of them would be the easy way out to all your problems that you might be facing at that particular time. This road will give you probably all the comforts that you are looking out for, it will give you pleasures unlimited and soo you will feel that you have taken the right road and be happy about it. The other road will be the difficult one - where you will face lot of difficulties and hard times. This road leads to the truth. Every step you take on that road, you will have to fight your way out, and its going to be tough... but in the long run you will emerge a winner if you can stick on to that road.

Each one of us have some golden words deep rooted in our hearts which we regard as THE PRINCIPLE of our lives. For me, my English Teacher's words were like that. She taught me the importance of honesty and truthfulness. She taught me the value of being an honest person. As I grew up and faced tougher situations in life that attaining surprise class tests, I realised that she was indeed right in what she said. At every crossroad of my life, I did get two roads. Like during exam times, if I had not prepared well, the easy way out would have been cheating from my friend's copy. And I did that in life once, and got very good marks. So apparently, I should have been happy...not studying and even getting good marks is cool!!! But that day, when I went back home, showed my copy to my father and uncles, and got a lot of appreciation from them, I felt so cheap. They were praising me for something that is not mine - the score of that exam was definitely not mine - it was my friend's score they were praising - I felt so hollow. Today I thank my English teacher (and indirectly God) for giving me that maturity to realise that this praise, and all the good thingsa that were happenning to me because of my chetaing, were not good at all. I realised, if I had not cheated, then my score would have been less, probably I would have got a bashing from my father for that low a score, probably some form of punishment as well like, no chocolates for the next one week or whatever...but atleast I would have been at peace... and today, I thnak God for making me realise that when I was 14 years old.

What is peace - is peace all about not facing the truth? is peace all about running away from the truth? is peace all about not standing by what you believe? - why? just because if you face the truth, or stand by it, you may face a lot of hardships? This lead me to a question I often ask myself and others as well... why do we lie? I have got many answers to this question of mine:

a) We lie in order to save someone else - perfect
b) We lie to avoid violence - why?
c) We lie because thats the ony resort - who said so?
d) We lie because we are afraid of speaking the truth - what is "fear"?

I know, there cannot be generalisations in life - each and every one of us is different, we face unique circumstances, and even if we face similar circumstances, we definitely react uniquely to them. So probably, each one of us have our own unique reasonning for our lies. But I still cannot understand why we have to lie...why we have to deviate from the truth. Take my example. Was I really happy to get all the adulation and appreciation for getting high score in exam? No, I was not...simply becuase I didnt deserve them. I realised that I would have been better off if I didnt cheat, and got less marks instead. But at that point of time, when I decided to cheat, probably I took that decision because:

a) I thought that would "save" me from getting less marks
b) I thought that would help me "avoid" my father's punishments
c) I thought that the "only resort" to save myself from the fact that I didnt do my studies which I should have
d) I was "afraid" of facing the consequences

But the fact remains that by "cheating", I was no better-off... even though apparently everything turned out to be just perfect for me. Then the question arises, even though everything was the best that could have happened under the given circumstance - why did I feel bad about it? - the reason is - my CONSCIENCE... yes, our conscience tells us what is right and what is wrong. My conscience told me not to cheat ever, and never in my life I cheated during exam...

So may be, people who continues to lie in their lives, their conscience doesnt stop them from doing so... this led me to another question, which I am still looking out for an answer...

Why are there people who conscinece doesnt tell them that TRUTH is the ultimate... you should always strive to speak the truth, stand by the truth and face the truth... because good, or bad; peaceful or violent; acceptable or not-acceptable; TRUTH is the ultimate, u cannot change it...so why cover it up with LIES??? Just for a temporary relief? Just for a temporary peaceful ambience? Just for a little bit of more comfort?

Am still looking out for answers - please do let me know your views...why do we LIE, and can LIES actually cover up the TRUTH? Can the tower of PEACE be built on the pillar of LIES? Can such TOWER suvive for long? Can you actually be at peace by covering up TRUTH? Can you have a peaceful night's dream, when you know you are lieing, or hiding truth? Can we look into our eyes in the mirror, when we have done something our CONSCIENCE doesnt approve of?

I have these questions am seeking out answers for... If I lie, can I teach my children the value of truth? Or is it not important at all to teach our children the value of honesty - simply because if am not honest, I dont value it myself... what values are we planning to give to our next generation? I remember a quote, once a friend of mine used as his signature

"Is the child you were, proud of the man you are?"

And if not...can you really pass on the qualities of your chilhood to your next generation?...You cannot, simply because you do not possess them anymore...so my dear grown ups, next time you do anything, that your childhood would not approve of...stop right then, not for you, but for your child...because WHAT YOU ARE TODAY, YOUR CHILD WILL BECOME TOMORROW...stop that from happenning...its better late than never.

Resolution for 2009

• I want to smile more this year, irrespective of the situation. I want to be able to convince myself that punching myself in the face while asleep is not worth losing a smile.
• I want to make sure that I think seriously about making a resolution to consider the possibility of a faint chance of quitting fighting with my loved ones more often than ever.
• I wish this year has some surprises in store for me, because all 2008 had to offer was one heartbreak after another.
• In the same vein, I hope to find true love, clichéd as it may sound.
• I want to go to Austria (Vienna)
• I want to feel like God - I want to buy a new car and/or a property!
• I wish I can convince myself to start working out again - atleast a routine walk everyday.
• I wish I could sleep for 16 hours a day and laze around in bed for the other 8.
• I wish I could wish for more wishes.
• I wish I could make others feel better.
• I wish people can live in peace without having to kill for it.
• I wish I could make at least one person happy per day.
• I wish I can grow a year old and look back at myself with pride for having accomplished at least one of the above.

Dont Waste Paper

This is what I keep telling my daughter. Don't Waste Paper. After all if we dont teach the next generation, then who will? But I was wrong... I was so wrong. Yesterday my daughter taught me, and not only me, her message should go everywhere - across the nation, across the world. And what better way than to BLOG about it?

Being a Sunday yesterday, we woke up late - well late by our standards, and pretty late by our elders' standards. Yes, we woke up at around 10 in the morning, and immediately we started fighting with the morning newspaper. We all had our agenda - my husband wanted to know about the nation and the owrld at large, my daughter has a "current affair" exam on Tuesday for which she had to keep her updated with the currents news, and I, well, err... actually, nothing specific - just the usual bollywoood gossip, fortune and the supplementary stuffs. But whatever, we started our fights and as is expected, my daughter won. So newspaper must go to her first. And the moment she took it in her hand, she came and told me, "Mumma, you keep telling me not to waster papre, but look here, Tropicana Juice has put an advertisement and wasted one and a half page of this newspaper"

Yes, she was right and I was shocked. Tropicana wasted one and a half page of The Sunday Times, 21st Dec'08 trying to stress the importance of having 100% of... whatever, thats not important. What is important is that the CORPORATE citizens of this nation and the owrld should realse the importance. Our kids learn from the elders - from the media and from everything around them, and if this is what they see, what will they learn (tried to find the image on line, but couldn't, but am sure many of you must have seen it).

So, M/s Tropicana, we know you guys provide us 100% juice and we are quite fond of you. Your advertisement of hald a page could not have demeaned you or your product by any amount. If you have lot of year-end budget for advertisement still unused, why dont you guys use them in some more meaningful ways than this?

Alvi - DADA

When Dada announced his retirement under obvious pressure from the selectors, my first reaction, as a long-time fan, was a sense of disappointment. Once again in his life, Sourav Ganguly was being given a raw deal more so as he has been playing some of his best cricket over the last few years and so should not have been the first in the firing line. Once the inevitability of the retirement sunk in, there were a wistful reminiscence about the defining moments of his career and a grudging acceptance of what was to happen. His retirement was only a matter of time, if not this series then the one down the road. Given that reality, he deserved the chance to leave with his head held high and if indeed his neck was forever going to be on the chopping block, no matter what he scored, then at his age there was no need to let himself be subject to humiliation.

“There is no reason to get overtly sentimental”, I told myself. This attachment to our old heroes is like our attachment to the first love letter or an old greetings card and once we realize that their time is up, it should be logical to let them go. (Though I cannot do that myself in my life, and hence suffer more than is required to, at times)

And so why should we feel bad at Ganguly’s retirement? Sourav as a person had made millions from the game and is sure to have a very fulfilling post-cricket life whether it be as a businessman, or as a cricket administrator or a media personality or as is speculated the CPM candidate against Didi. Dada vs Didi—now that is one contest I would love to see and readers on this blog would know which side I will be rooting for. And it’s not as if I would never see him again, he would be in the black-and-gold uniform in the three-ring-circus of IPL very soon even though I knew that for Dada IPL would be like “exchanging a walk-on part in the war for a lead role in a cage”.

Most importantly, at the age of 32....(ok, ok, 33), mature people should live by the wisdom of Govinda’s immortal words “Control yaar” when dealing with non-critical life issues like a favorite sportsman retiring. Only 22 year olds, who empathize with filmstars and cricketers as if they were their own flesh and blood, ought to lose sleep over such trivialities. Right?

For all these reasons , my sadness at Sourav’s retirement was muted to a large extent. Instead there was a prayer than his last series does not overwhelm him, that his performances do not dip alarmingly and that another opportunity is not presented to his haters (and there are many of them) to give him a kick in his teeth with a “We told you. He has been finished a long time ago”.

But that did not happen. Sourav had his best series ever against Australia, showing solidity in the middle order never letting his impending retirement cast a shadow over his performances, which was crowned with a century at Mohali and a throwing-back-the-years partnership with partner-in-crime Sachin Tendulkar.

Till we came to Nagpur. The end of the road. The place where his legacy was sought to be finished by lesser mortals many years ago.Would he emulate Guru Greg by scoring a century in his last and first match? Alas that was not to be as h fell for 85 in the first innings. No matter I thought; the six off Jason Krejza in his style of old was compensation enough for staying awake late at night. I smiled to myself when I heard people from Ganguly’s locality, Behala tell a Bengali channel that they would appeal to ICC to credit Ganguly with a century if he scored fifteen runs in the second innings. Really !

Not that Sourav gave his fans that chance. As the Australian fielders ran toward Jason Krejza as he came up with a caught and bowled, there was a fleeting moment of disbelief—surely this is not the way we thought it would end. That feeling was gone however as reality sunk in and as Sourav looked longingly at the sky for a brief second as a sign of thanksgiving or heavenly reproach and then walked off, rapidly, without any show of emotion and with not even a bat raised to the sky, still visibly cross with himself, all I thought was “Oh no India is going to lose this one”.

The next day of course my fears were proven to be unfounded. The series was wrapped up. Ganguly was raised onto the shoulders. He was mercifully not asked to speak (at least I did not catch it) and was “left alone with his glory”. The best moment of the night for me was to see the Fab Four together, side by side, wreathed in smiles, all together in the team for one last time, —-like all great bands, they had their moments of discord but what music had they given us, what memories !

Of course the last most poignant moment was Ganguly, trying desperately to remain stoic, coming out to acknowledge his cheering fans and then on public request, in the manner of an old conjurer performing his favorite act at the curtain call, repeating his iconic gesture at Lords of taking his shirt off. There was no anger now. No rage. Or even if there was, he did not show it.

There was a wave to the crowd. And then he was gone. For ever.

And at that moment, I felt happy. Really happy for Ganguly, for all that he had achieved and how he was leaving, not with a whimper but with all his guns blazing, a privilege he sorely deserved.

Free India

If you think that India is a nice peaceful safe place to live in then you are unbelievably dumb and misinformed. From terrorism to inflation, we have pretty much every single problem known to mankind. Most of the population is either stupid or doesn’t really care. I don’t mind these people, I have nothing against the mentally challenged or the apathetic. The people I really hate are the ones who know about these problems but still delude themselves and others into thinking that this dump is a great place to live in... I remember the pledge that we were to utter everyday in our school assembly... India is my country...all Indians are my brothers and sisters...I love my country and am proud of it's rich and varied heritage...

As kids, we were fooled...

You may argue that other countries have such problems too. The difference is, in India none of these problems are recognised, discussed or worked upon. Only a few major scandals even make it into the limelight and then the media covers it for days until the next celebrity comes along to be interviewed. However things that happen in daily life are ignored or accepted as part of life.

Ordinary citizens cannot highlight problems either. No one wants a visit from the thugs of a local politician. That’s what happens if you complain. Call the cops? What a joke. We all know the cops are corrupt scum who are only interested in how much money they can get out you.

You think we have freedom?

Welcome to India.

Only the other day the Indian Mujra-hideen sent a terror email from an insecure wireless network, an act the press respectfully informed us ” as hacking into a wireless account”. Bombs went off. People died. Which city was it that day?

Jaipur, Varanasi, Bangalore, Surat, Delhi, Mumbai or somewhere else ?

Does it matter to you or me as long as our loved ones are safe (for the time being)?

Does the significance of the fact that terrorists need only a few months to organize another high-profile attack, even after a few of them get arrested, sink into the national psyche?

Do we, as a nation, understand that the whole “spirit of the city” feel-good is nothing but an euphemism for people becoming so inured to flying ball-bearings and bloody corpses that they accept terrorist violence as a fact of life, like traffic jams and power cuts ?

Do people realize that when Shivraj Patil warns of “stringent punishment” to the perpetrators of the blast that he isn’t just re-reading the statement he prepared a few months ago for the last blast? Do the citizens know that once he has done with his “I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee” message of future retribution , that he vanishes into a dark corner, away from the national eye, where he puts on a Batman costume and personally hunts down the terrified evil doe-rs while riding his Bat bicycle?

Do I realise, that after every bomb blast or terrorist attack, I criticse my country and its honorable leaders more or less the same way, because I, like the nation, have nothing new to say or do?

Welcome to India. Welcome to our world.

Jodha Akbar - A Plead to Mr. Ashutosh Gowariker

I was procastinating on this for a long time now, unless I had to go through the pain of watching Jodha Akbar for the second time...

I had an eventful weekend. I saw Jodha Akbar for the second time last Friday and then went on a short 2 day trip to Kolkata, my home.

The trip seemed shorter. Talking of relativity...

So the moment I got back to my workstation in Bangalore (yeah, it got shifted about 3 weeks back), I decided to, in the interest of public service, to shoot an email to Ashutosh Gowariker asking him to shorten the movie to something less than the time it takes a medium sized star to turn into a white dwarf. Incase you are wondering as to why I do public service from my work station - well, thats how I am...

But I didn’t do the shooting, for 2 reasons

• I did not have Ashutosh Gowariker’s email ID
• I did not have Ashutosh Gowariker’s email ID

But since this is a blog with a fairly tenuous connection to the restricting limitations of real life, let us imagine that I actually did send this email to Mr. Gowariker.

Dear Ashutosh,

Your movie is too long. Infact, at the end of the movie, I got an SMS from the LIC agent that my Jeevan Bima Policy had matured. So while I was clearly elated, the part of the audience that didnt invest in LIC was clearly peeved.

So, in the interest of the public, I have taken the liberty to conduct a contest to elicit ideas to make Jodha Akbar shorter and sweeter. Several responded and am attaching here for your perusal and reference, the very best of those.

The Tansen Fan club of Teynampet
We are ok with the movie till the point where Jodha marries Akbar. After that we find, to quote Lord Vader, the lack of Tansen disturbing. Remember the scene where Akbar is in the Diwan-e-Aam (Sofa made from Mango tree) and this important event is interrupted by strains of Jodha singing “Man Mohanaa”? The emperor then declares the session closed and joins his lady love in singing some Krishna bhajans.

At this point, we believe Tansen should intervene and point out that Jodha is way off the original Raga in which the composition was set. He then goes on to demonstrate how it should be sung and Jodha is shamed and decides to go back to her Paattu maami to start over from Sarle Varise. Akbar then goes on to marry 700 more women and lives like every other Mughal emperor. Some harm and a lot of harem.

Length of Movie - 30 minutes.

The Gardening Club of Golf Greens

Akbar wins lots of wars. He then decides to marry Jodha. His army throws a bachelor party and invites Sufi singers to sing “Khwaja Jee”.

If you have sing the song, this is a plot by the Gardening Club of Panipat to assassinate the emperor for his reckless laying waste of gardens and nurseries in Panipat in 1556. This is exactly why the singers are symbolically wearing flower pots on their heads. Once the song finishes, Akbar joins in the Sufi trance and at that moment, one of the potheads releases a King cobra which goes on to kill the emperor with a deadly bite.

Of course, it’s not historically accurate, but hey, neither is your original movie.

Length of movie - 25 minutes

The Cookery Club of Calicut

We are OK with the movie till the point where Aishwarya Rai serves the emperor a lavish self-cooked Rajasthaani meal. Now, imagine a former Miss World cooking a palace meal. Now, we are not doubting that she could rustle up some Maggi noodles or perhaps microwave some MTR precooked meals, but hey, a full meal for the palace? Here is the shortening (not the culinary type, he he) that we recommend.

In the process of cooking Rajasthaani Kadhi, all the L’Oreal and Revlon cosmetics she is wearing mixes with the food. In addition, her diamond studded Longines watch falls into the mix.

So when she serves Akbar and Maha Maanga demands that it is customary for the chef to taste the meal in front of the emperor, she does, and ends up fainting as a result of a lack of a digestive enzyme for L’Oreal face wash. Maha Maanga says - “See I told you so”, and Jodha is banished from the kingdom and Akbar lives happily ever after eating Lamb Biriyani.

Length of movie - 45 minutes

The Murli Manohar Joshi School of Revisionist History - Mukut Manipur

This movie is not only unnecessarily lengthy, it is also a blatant distortion of history. Our problem with the movie is scene nr 1 - Akbar’s battle with Hemu. When Bairam Khan attempts to behead Hemu, his sword breaks into two and Hemu is unscathed. Bairam Khan is enraged and attempts to behead him again with another sword. That one also shatters. Hemu then reveals himself to be an avatar of Vishnu and everyone in the battlefield is humbled and the Mughals go back to their native Uzbekistan.

Length of movie - 5 minutes

The World Wide Fund for Nature

We are OK with the movie till Akbar’s attempt to tame the wild elephant. It is a complete insult to the elephant’s leg-eye-trunk coordination skills when you show it missing Akbar many times. Elephants are physically more agile than humans are. Here is what we propose. The elephant raises its foot to crush the emperor. It doesn’t miss.

Length of movie - 30 minutes.

p.s. : I must mention that one of the contest rules was to minimize the cost of editing process. So, as you can see, all these suggestions here focus on the critical turning points where the movie could have ended.

Regards...