Bollywood in the 70s-80s

I am a big time Hindi movie fan. And I grew up watching the movies of 70s and 80s and I love the way things were so plain and simple in those days... wonder why we even try "realistic cinema" today? By being "real" the directors are depriving us of the fun of that bygone era... here is my tribute to that era.

Problem of a Grandmother:

I am a proud grandmother of a handsome boy who is now living in the city. I want him to come back to our village and fall in love with this girl. But he refuses. How do I get him to come back to the village?


Bolly answers:
 
A simple telegram that says “Grandmother serious. Start immediately.” will do the trick. When he comes back expresses shock upon finding you in the pink of health, let out a hallow guffaw and tell him “I will not die until I play with my great-grand children.” The girl you mentioned will take care of falling in love part, with brass innuendos and slutty songs.

Hero wants to disguise. What should he do?

Bolly answers:

A completely unrecognizable disguise can be worn by simply wearing black sunglasses and a slightly different hairstyle. Not even your mom will be able to recognize you. But be warned! Lowering the glasses on to the nose and looking over them and winking has been proven to let your girlfriend identify you immediately.


Remedy for snake-bites:

Oh my God! A snake bit my girlfriend. What do I do now???

Bolly answers:

Fret not. Snakes can not only inject venom into human bodies, but they can suck the venom out as well, just like sucking juice out of a juice box. The trick is to make a compelling argument to the snake to take the venom back. This can be achieved by climbing up on a hill and singling a melancholy filled song. When you sing the song, the snake has two options to make you stop singing. It can bite you and take you down. Or it can take the venom back from your girlfriend. Stay as far away from your girlfriend as possible, because, then the snake would take the quickest way to put an end to your song and suck the venom back.


Problem of a boy friend:

My girlfriend is in a girls-only hostel. I want to get into the hostel and meet her. How can I do that?

Bolly answers:

One of the original intentions of burqa is to help men get into women’s hostels. Do not worry if you are a 6-footer or have hairy legs and hands showing through the burqa. Nobody will notice it. Strategically placed balloons (sold separately) are known to enhance the effect.


Hero's sister's problem:

I am a pretty girl and a sister to a handsome, hero-like, guy. Astrologically, what birthstone should I be wearing to get married soon?

Bolly answers:
 
It doesn’t matter what birthstone you wear, you will soon be raped. The rapist will refuse to marry you until your brother makes him see the error in his ways, by beating him into a pulp. So the answer to your question is, you will be married soon. So be happy.


Remedy to automobile problems:

My car stopped all of a sudden on a rural road. How do I fix it?

Bolly answers:
 
There is only one solution any kind of car problem. Pour water in the radiator. Grab the empty can from the trunk, which never fails to be present, and walk in a random direction until you chance up on a lake and a pretty girl taking water from it.


Problem of accident-prone heroes:

I just had a serious accident and am unconscious. Will I recover?


Bolly answers:
 
People seldom die from accidents. No matter how you are hurt or what bones are broken, what you immediately need is an operation. The doctor will tell your family exactly how much the operation will cost, which, in most cases, is 1 lakh (100,000) rupees. Don’t worry. Stay peacefully unconscious. You will soon wake up with a bandage to your head and rest of the body unscathed. Please remember that it is good etiquette to ask, “Where am I” upon waking up.


Hygeine and bathing solutions:

I am a pretty and young girl. What is the proper way of taking a shower?


Bolly answers:
 

Even in utmost privacy, you must wrap your torso in a sari or towel while taking a shower and soap only uncovered parts. Dont worry about your hygeine, that will be taken care of.

Childhood problems:

I am a five year old boy and talk like a 16 year old. I want a baby brother or sister. How do I get one?


Bolly answers:
 
I am sorry that you are slow in development. 5 year old boys should be talking like 19 year olds. In any case, you might try an advanced technique to achieve your means. You start by asking your mom and dad to kiss you on either cheek. While their faces are in forward motion, with lips extended like suction cups, you slide your head out of the way. Completely oblivious of this change, your parents will continue the forward motion like two brain-dead zombies, to meet in the middle, causing a kiss to happen. A kiss on the lips is known to spontaneously produce a baby.


But whatever be said and done, I loved Hindi movies of 70s and 80s...they will always remain special to me.

Aisha... Haiisshha, what to review?!

Disclaimer: The intention of this post is not to mar any person’s dignity or self esteem (if they so possess), dead or alive. Its just a piss take and please take it in the best of the spirits. Please don’t sue me. I am not rich, I cant even afford to buy Lifestyle stuffs when there is no Sale, forget Elles, Vogues, and Chanels!


“ Hum Kapoor hai. Hum zyada sochte nahi. We believe in action ”... This dialogue alone from the movie Aisha could win it an OSCAR. The producers Anil Kapoor n Rhea Kapoor and the * of the movie, Sonam Kapoor so relate to this dialogue that they had to put it there! And this speaks of their truthfulness... I salute them all.
Its always fun to take the piss out of movies which make you realise how "pissed off" you were for about two hours in your life that you’ll never get back. And so here I am, spending more than 2 hours to get this post done. I am spending so much of time, not because I have so many things to talk about this movie. Its just the lack of it which is taking so much of time you see... Ok, I give up...this is probably the first movie out of 35,734 movies I have watched so far that has me "speechless"...rather "wordless" as I try to review it. So I will let the characters of the movie speak for themselves.

Aisha

Hiya evry1!!! I am like totally awesome chick.

I like to spend my rich Dad’s hard-earned cash for a living and have nicknamed it ‘Event Management’ (in the movie) and "Acting" (in real life). How cool!

I know everything about "fashion" and nothing about "acting". Thats so cool. I strongly believe in Romance and that I will never grow old. So every body around me who is not 20+ is an "old fossil" for me.

I love Polo matches even though I dont understand them. . The reason I love Polo is because its totally upmarket and I wear designer outfits in Polo match as well as ARC. If you dont know what ARC is, please dont ask...apply to me if you wanna be my "new" project and I shall train you on all these...n wont even charge money! Since my films dont sale, I have stopped charging for them. Anyways, these days my films are produced by my dad or his friends, n directed by my friends. So, its all in the family, u see :-).

I love animals... they taste too delicious! Dont get me wrong I care for them. I feed dogs@ARC and love having Tandoori Pomfret!

I love doing "social work" so am always seen @social dos... Page 3 parties... nature camps...et al. Actually am having a hangover from that party I had last night. Hence the glasses. Also, I can’t remember which movie I am in right now. Is this ‘I Hate Luv Stories’?

Also, I so love sobbing whilst I watch that Kajol-SRK dancing in the rain scene from K2H2. That movie is my Bible. I asked Punit to copy many things from that movie and I pledge to copy something or the other from K2H2 in all my movies in the future (depends on how many of them I will have actually)

No one steals the thunder of the superbitch, that’s me!!!! Banungi main.. Bitchwanti!!!

Else, I’ll end up making this meaningless piece of shit into a undigestable vomit. After all its Kapoor's show all the way.
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Pinky Bose

Hi!!! I am Pinky Bose, the first from d right...no sorry, left... i mean your right and my left...oh am so confused! where is Aisha???

Together with Aisha, we spread the all mighty shallowness of our lives through our devotion to the Elles, Vogues, Chanels and the likes.

We wear shades in the night (just kidding!).

Oh, I love Aisha so much that I’d get my face cloned like her.

I have this wide range of career options open in front of me... ranging from forecasting weather to being the editor of Elle. On a second thought, I may become Bollywood trade analyst...its much easier to forecast the fate of Sonam Kapoor movies than forecasting weather.

I spend all day long spending money on all kinda.. stuffs which I, nops sorry, Aisha likes!

I am desperately looking for a boyfriend and am so desperate that I am ready to hit on that Mithaiwalla Dude. He is a loser in any case and so he will be a perfect hit for me. Before Aisha starts looking for a jerk for me, I better fix one myself.
****************************************************************
Shefali

Myself Shefali from Haryana. I am the Behenji types.
I am like in the big city to find a Dulha for myself, and fall in love, Hay Rabba! am jee blushing!
Doesn’t matter how many times I fool myself falling in ‘love’ with so many men. Oh! I am so confused jee.
Thanks Aisha jee, for making me your project, and transforming me into that…
Here’s my Before and After transform pic. Now watch closely, coz this is going to be more interesting than anything else in this movie.
Before After

Some dude will definitely fall for me, hai naa!

P.S. All this was my evil plan, huaahahaa. All this while, when Aisha and everyone else would be busy dealing with all the superficial problems of their shallow lives, I will actually steal the show. Like totally!

So, officially, we are the I love Aisha fan club. Any moment now, we’ll start singing – Piya Piya O Piya Piya

Meanwhile, I’ll keep on stealing the thunder from all these bitches.

I’m gonna first fall for Randhir, oh jee am confused.. And then Dhruv, and then.. Arjun.

Ha! The slag from Haryana, that’s what they’ll call me.
***************************************************************


Whilst the girls were busy with themselves...the dudes were having serious identity crisis.

Arjun

I am Mr. Practical from Wharton and shit...I am an Investment Banker...no no, please dont blame me for the recession...it didnt happen for me. You see, I hardly work.

I am always to be found either snatching remote from Aisha, or having sandwich at all odd hours.

Even while in office I only chit chat with NY returned Amrita.

Between, she didnt return because of recession. Even though she has an american accent, she sings bhajan pretty well and looks fab hot in black bikini clad sari outfit.

You see all my education is only to ensure I am able to give life lessons to Aisha. I have to stop her from tyring to fabricate lovey dovey situations for all... she was almost hooking me up with that Behanji!!!
*********************************************************************
Dhruv (am sorry, couldnt find his pix on google, and am running out of time)

Man, what am I supposed to do. Asked Aisha if it was our first date... Asked Amrita if it was our first... mmmmuah...and before I could even get answers my new Momma fixed up my marriage!

Man, what am I supposed to do. Build some more body?? But whats the point...no matter how much body I make Arjud will punch me and I have to fall off... Have to obey the director, you see... Man wonder why I ever got this movie? I could have been a gym trainer instead!
********************************************************************************

Am so tired going through all their comments on themselves, I have decided not to write any "review" at all...so bye all

3 idiots - Review

Well, where do I begin from? The common stand is that when you review anything, you just rip it off! But then since this movie is all about breaking the common rules, what better way to implement the same than writing a review and going ga ga over the movie!
Honestly, there is not a thing about this movie that I "didnt" like. Before starting this post, I googled and read a lot many reviews of this movie. Most of the reviews were positive, though like experts, and still afraid of breaking the common path may be, each of those reviewers wrote negative stuffs as well...
Some said every time they saw Pia (Kareena) they wished they could see more of the 3 idiots together on screen than this 4th one! Well, I thought I would also write this,and why not...I dont like Kareena at all! But couldnot make myself hate Pia, no matter how much I hate Kareena. I loved here presence in the movie just as much as her elder sister (played by Mona).
Some "Chatur" and "Virus" sometimes over did their part. Well, thought would write about this...but then again couldnot... Chatur Ramalingam reminded me of atleast 3-4 such real life characters in my own life, right from the school till the University days. How can I not believe in that character, when I know atleast 3-4 Chaturs in my own life? And forget school, college or university, you get "Chatur"s in every age of your life...
Virus... well Boman Irani is a sweetheart... even if he "overdid" I can never criticise him...but then how do I say he overdid? He reminded me of atleast 1 prof from College days and 1 from the University... and at times I see many "VIRUSes" around me.
Some even said Aamir at 44, didnt look like 22...to which I say...Just shut up!
Amitabh, at 66, if decides to do a 13, and gets away with it with all the truckload of make-up then Amir did a better job without make-up...only with his body language... Rancho is the cutest 22 year old student I have ever seen!!! My husband did try to make a point by saying that he has done plastic surgery and blah blah, to which I said...Just shut up!

So, a very few negatives that I got reading those reviews...I couldnt just accept them. So, following Rancho, I am defying the norm and standing apart...a review of a movie...where I just didnt find anythingnegative to comment upon. So what if they showed 2000 AD but showed use of mobile phones in college campus that too the small and sleek ones, not the huge Motorola sets, if at all...it doesnt matter. It also doesnot matter if they show webcam delivery! That was informative...(yes, my 10 year old daughter proudly told me that now she knows what "normal delivery" is!). Am ready to overlook all these and much more to get 3 hours of absolute bliss! Am ready to accept every overdose of acting, if at all... for priceless on-screen moments like the suicide of Joy Lobo, or the suicide attempt of Raju, or the love and the bonding between the 3 idiots!
I am ready to accept the histronics of Chatur any number of time, for that famous speech of his on the teacher's day! I am ready to tolerate VIRUS for his 7.5 mins power nap. I am more that willing to sit through all the negatives mentioned above and more for a dailouge like "you are sad when your best friend flunks, but you are the saddest when he...tops!!!"....3 hours of LOL moments with enough touch of sensitivity, emotion, and socially relevant message...All in all...3 idots rocks!!!
My respect for Raju Hirani increased manifold... hope to see many more of his offerings...
A must must must watch for everybody...irrespective of caste, n creed. Aamir Khan lovers, Aamir Khan haters, Chetan Bhagat fans, please line up...buy tickets and watch this movie... it would be even more fun, if you go and watch this movie with your buddies.....

Chetan Bhagat, FPS...and 3 Idiots

This is tough for me...I love them all. When you love both the gangs@war, its tough to take a stand. But the brighter side is, when you love both the gangs...you will never be biased...you will just speak your mind, and this is exactly what I intend to do here.

One honest confession of Aditi (the reader)... I love Chetan Bhagat. Yes he is a cool dude who has given us Indians (specially the youths) something to look forward to in a Novel by an Indian author. I am conservative when it comes to reading. I prefer Agatha Christie, Sydney Sheldon, Paulo Coelho, P G Woodhouse etc etc. Indian authors?...hmmm, never sort of excited me much - not their fault though, it is my conservative attitude that needs to be blamed. Amitava Ghosh did help a bit...but only a bit. And then came Chetan Bhagat in my world -I mean not literally, though wish ;-) Initially when my cousins mentioned FPS (when it was first launched) and went gaga over the author I just snapped them off (being 6 years elder to them helped). Kept hearing about this cool IIT-IIM-turned- banker-turned-author but never felt like reading his offerings. To make matters worse, oneday I just chanced upon 1 night@Call Center...and I didnot like it. So Chetan Bhagat chapter ended in my life...atleast that s what i thought then.

A couple of months back a friend told me about 2 states...also since these books cost 95/ only (thats another good thing about his books) thought let me read it, I have only 95/ bucks to lose. Man, I just loved his book this time. I mean, yes, I agree he is not an embryo of a Nobel prize winning author , but he is cool...his style is fun...his humor is witty...and he did have a message! I loved 2 states and then, as if in a flash back mode, I read FPS (I just loved it), and 3 mistakes of my life (nothing great but liked his style of humor, and again with a message)...but all these were enough for me to fall in love with Chetan Bhagat and his books. So as I said in the beginning, I love Chetan Bhagat against all odds in my life.

Honest confession of Aditi (the movie-watcher)...I love Raju Hirani (not with the same kind of emotion that I have for Chetan Bhagat, but nevertheless, I love him). I mean I dont wish I was Mrs. Raju Hirani in even my wildest dream, but I love his work...oh he, as a director, has a magic touch. I loved all his movies...Munna Bhai MBBS, Lage Raho Munna Bhai, and was eagerly awaiting 3 idiots...why?...well the reasons are
1) Raju Hirani is the director
2)the story is loosely adapted from FPS (this is what I knew)
3)Aamir Khan is thr - another man I just respect too much
And yes...the team bowled me over again. I read the movie made 100crores business in the openning week...well out of that 2000/ is my contribution. Loved the movie and am planning to break my record of watching Maine Pyar Kiya 50 times with this one.
Amazing movie...and then saw/read/heard about the controversy...heard my sweetheart Chetan Bhagat is upset about the credentials?! I was shocked, and ashamed...and yes, once again I thougt...wish I was Mrs. Chetan Bhagat...i would have stopped him for stooping so low for sure.

So I thought i would write an opne letter to him, only to tell him, how his fans are feeling right now with all this monkey dancing around the press....

Hi Dude,

I feel sorry for you that you have got a meagre amount of 11,00,000/ from the Producer when the movie has crossed 175 crore business and is still going strong. I can relate to it... I feel exactly the same when I read the quarterly profit report of my organisation (IBM) and compare it with my salary slip! But there is not much we can do about it right? Common dude, take this as a "lesson learnt"...better bargain well next time, but atleast stop being a "Chatur Ramalingam" yaa... Your pointing scene by scene in the media! God, Chetan, grow up! People who have read your story and watched the movie, know exactly whats being taken from your book...and who denied that? But the "story" of 3idiots...story of "Rancho"...is not yours...they have adapted some part from your story and they have paid you for that...the payment may seem less now, but thats something you guys mutually agreed upon, right? then what is this fuss all about?...dont be a kiddo...I agree, our education system should change...otherwise an IIT-IIM grad, doesnt understand this basic minimum?
Dude, you said you have problem that they put your name at the end? So whats the fuss about? there are so many movies when the credits roll out in the end only... stop crying baby...next time put this in your contract...details with when you want your name, what should be the font size etc ok? we learn from our mistakes, dont we?
Then I read you were upset bcos your mother was upset because she missed your name in the movie. Ah, you know Indian mothers na? Remember Krish's mother? (2 states)...she would cry even when bhindi masala burnt! Our mothers are very delicate, and beyond a certain age limit they lose their eye sight as well... so may be a tight "jaadu ki jhappi" alongwith an eye-appointment will make your mom happy...
Like an ardent fan of yours I felt proud to watch this movie which is loosely adapted from your FPS. I cheered when I saw your "punches", witty "one-liners"...and told my husband excitedly about how they are actually your contributions...and am sure many like me felt proud... but dude, you have let us down with your "Chatur" act. to quote VIRUS... "Main tumhe sympathy de sakti hoon, support nahin"

The story credit is not entirely yours, and The production house has done everything that is mentioned in the contract...so stop fussing and move on in life... take this as a learning expereince...I will, as well...we must use our bargaining power to strike a better deal, dude! not cry and make fun of ourselves...

Love,
Aditi

The Dark (yawwwwwwwwn) Knight

Nobody asked me to review the movie Dark Knight. So I am doing it.

p.s. : Infact A told me not to write it - So I am doing it all the more.

The Dark Knight is a deliciously wonderful movie for anybody who grew up reading Batman comics. I didn’t grow up reading Batman comics.

In fact, I don’t even understand Batman. What does Batman have in common with a bat other than the fact that they both are classified as mammals? He can’t fly. Nor can he generate ultrasonics. I was waiting throughout the movie for the Batman to hang upside down on a tree, he didn’t do that either. I was this close to demanding my money back (ok, thats an exaggeration, I didnt wantch it in theatre - i watched it on a pirated DVD available for 30 bucks in Gariahat - I was actually close to returning that DVD and exchanging it for a Himesh reshammiya soundtrack) . Also, have you ever seen a bat fight bad guys? You never did. You know why? Because they don’t. All they do is hang in some dark corner; and when you get up on a building, lean on the wall and throw a stone, they fly up and scratch your face. Hypothetically, I mean.

Ok, now that I have given you a lecture on bat and batman, let’s talk about the cast. First of all, Christian Bale doesn’t look like a bat. He looks more like a vulture. He did his best to act and in a couple of scenes he actually showed some expressions. I wish they didn’t make his mask so tight though. Every time he wore it, it pinched his throat and his voice became very hoarse. It’s got to be pretty darn annoying fighting bad guys while gasping for air.

There was this Joker too. He was amazing. Rest in peace, Mr. Ledger.

Most people don’t notice, but there is a heroine in the movie. I saw cadavers livelier than her and blank whiteboards more interesting than her face. She is like a decorative African art on a table - nobody knows why it is there and you won’t even notice it until it catches on fire. That is precisely what happens in the movie. She moves the story along only after she is dead.

I guess my biggest gripe with this movie is that batman is not even like a hero in the movie, forget superhero. Batman gets beat up, hit by a car, bitten by dogs, shot at and slammed into a wall - in the first five minutes. It gets worse after that. What is missing in the movie is Batman’s mother so he could run whimpering to his mommy every time Joker outwits him. And in a crowing moment of glory, batman ends the movie running away being chased by street dogs.

But whatever it is, i hope by now you have understood that what I am saying here is, overall, its a great movie...

Jodha Akbar - A Plead to Mr. Ashutosh Gowariker

I was procastinating on this for a long time now, unless I had to go through the pain of watching Jodha Akbar for the second time...

I had an eventful weekend. I saw Jodha Akbar for the second time last Friday and then went on a short 2 day trip to Kolkata, my home.

The trip seemed shorter. Talking of relativity...

So the moment I got back to my workstation in Bangalore (yeah, it got shifted about 3 weeks back), I decided to, in the interest of public service, to shoot an email to Ashutosh Gowariker asking him to shorten the movie to something less than the time it takes a medium sized star to turn into a white dwarf. Incase you are wondering as to why I do public service from my work station - well, thats how I am...

But I didn’t do the shooting, for 2 reasons

• I did not have Ashutosh Gowariker’s email ID
• I did not have Ashutosh Gowariker’s email ID

But since this is a blog with a fairly tenuous connection to the restricting limitations of real life, let us imagine that I actually did send this email to Mr. Gowariker.

Dear Ashutosh,

Your movie is too long. Infact, at the end of the movie, I got an SMS from the LIC agent that my Jeevan Bima Policy had matured. So while I was clearly elated, the part of the audience that didnt invest in LIC was clearly peeved.

So, in the interest of the public, I have taken the liberty to conduct a contest to elicit ideas to make Jodha Akbar shorter and sweeter. Several responded and am attaching here for your perusal and reference, the very best of those.

The Tansen Fan club of Teynampet
We are ok with the movie till the point where Jodha marries Akbar. After that we find, to quote Lord Vader, the lack of Tansen disturbing. Remember the scene where Akbar is in the Diwan-e-Aam (Sofa made from Mango tree) and this important event is interrupted by strains of Jodha singing “Man Mohanaa”? The emperor then declares the session closed and joins his lady love in singing some Krishna bhajans.

At this point, we believe Tansen should intervene and point out that Jodha is way off the original Raga in which the composition was set. He then goes on to demonstrate how it should be sung and Jodha is shamed and decides to go back to her Paattu maami to start over from Sarle Varise. Akbar then goes on to marry 700 more women and lives like every other Mughal emperor. Some harm and a lot of harem.

Length of Movie - 30 minutes.

The Gardening Club of Golf Greens

Akbar wins lots of wars. He then decides to marry Jodha. His army throws a bachelor party and invites Sufi singers to sing “Khwaja Jee”.

If you have sing the song, this is a plot by the Gardening Club of Panipat to assassinate the emperor for his reckless laying waste of gardens and nurseries in Panipat in 1556. This is exactly why the singers are symbolically wearing flower pots on their heads. Once the song finishes, Akbar joins in the Sufi trance and at that moment, one of the potheads releases a King cobra which goes on to kill the emperor with a deadly bite.

Of course, it’s not historically accurate, but hey, neither is your original movie.

Length of movie - 25 minutes

The Cookery Club of Calicut

We are OK with the movie till the point where Aishwarya Rai serves the emperor a lavish self-cooked Rajasthaani meal. Now, imagine a former Miss World cooking a palace meal. Now, we are not doubting that she could rustle up some Maggi noodles or perhaps microwave some MTR precooked meals, but hey, a full meal for the palace? Here is the shortening (not the culinary type, he he) that we recommend.

In the process of cooking Rajasthaani Kadhi, all the L’Oreal and Revlon cosmetics she is wearing mixes with the food. In addition, her diamond studded Longines watch falls into the mix.

So when she serves Akbar and Maha Maanga demands that it is customary for the chef to taste the meal in front of the emperor, she does, and ends up fainting as a result of a lack of a digestive enzyme for L’Oreal face wash. Maha Maanga says - “See I told you so”, and Jodha is banished from the kingdom and Akbar lives happily ever after eating Lamb Biriyani.

Length of movie - 45 minutes

The Murli Manohar Joshi School of Revisionist History - Mukut Manipur

This movie is not only unnecessarily lengthy, it is also a blatant distortion of history. Our problem with the movie is scene nr 1 - Akbar’s battle with Hemu. When Bairam Khan attempts to behead Hemu, his sword breaks into two and Hemu is unscathed. Bairam Khan is enraged and attempts to behead him again with another sword. That one also shatters. Hemu then reveals himself to be an avatar of Vishnu and everyone in the battlefield is humbled and the Mughals go back to their native Uzbekistan.

Length of movie - 5 minutes

The World Wide Fund for Nature

We are OK with the movie till Akbar’s attempt to tame the wild elephant. It is a complete insult to the elephant’s leg-eye-trunk coordination skills when you show it missing Akbar many times. Elephants are physically more agile than humans are. Here is what we propose. The elephant raises its foot to crush the emperor. It doesn’t miss.

Length of movie - 30 minutes.

p.s. : I must mention that one of the contest rules was to minimize the cost of editing process. So, as you can see, all these suggestions here focus on the critical turning points where the movie could have ended.

Regards...

Bollywood Women I love

Only a few days back, i was pondering about why in Hindi Film Industry we dont have many women-centric movies, and the ones we have show women mostly as prostitutes. One thought lead me to another and soon I had this array of thoughts about women in Hindi movies.

We can go on and on over the stereotypes of women in Indian cinema. Now that’s an easy thing to do, I thought why not try to work on something fresh. Women that don’t confine to socially set patterns; and surprisingly I found a huge array of films both parallel and commercial movies that have unusual heroines and these movies did enjoy commercial success. This ofcourse was initiated by Pakeezah, but nevertheless am glad that I thought about this.

Let me begin with what I see as stereotypes -

Women with strong sexual morals ,the wife, mother, sister and the good girlfriend.

Loose morals, very easy, think of Bindu, Helen you got it.The crafty women. This group is headed by the wicked mother in laws, sisters, bad friends etc. Lalita Pawar, Sashikala etc. lead this group.

Strong women. These women always fight against injustice, stand up for their rights but please note they normally do it for their husbands, brothers, fathers and are extremely virtuous in every respect. They may resort to violence and slaughter the villains but there is always the ‘Shakti’ theme behind it. It is disturbingly religious, I mean women behaving like that do need the religious back up. Think of movies like Phool Bane Angaray, Pratighaat, Mrityudand… see what I mean.

The sacrificing ones, there are plenty of movies that are about women of iron will. They go through all kinds of peril and emerge as a winner in the end. Personally these are the ones I genuinely dislike. I will not go in details but examples are Rajshri Brothers films, Saajan Bin Suhagan even Aradhana (no good can ever come out of sleeping with Rajesh Khanna) and so on.

What then do I mean by women who don’t confirm to patterns? My women are not unrealistically strong but are normal women who show genuine courage and strength. Not glorified symbols of virtue but a normal woman. Do Hindi films ever show women like that? Surprisingly the answer is yes, not many but quite a few. I am giving you my top choices to illustrate the point.

Arth, both the women are actually normal, in fact Smita has absolutely no qualms about sleeping with a married man and her eventual psychotic disorder is also excellently portrayed. Shabana is the strong one, and what she does to Kulbhushan in the end is exactly how any normal woman with some self respect will behave. Arth was a huge success. In case you haven’t watched it do so, it’s a great movie.

Aandhi, Suchitra Sen doesn’t go back even though she realizes that she loves her husband. It is an exceptional movie about a politician’s career and her failed marriage that can never be restored. But it’s Gulzar and he is simply incapable of disappointing.

Anahat, it’s in Marathi but I have to include it. It’s my topmost choice. Based on the ancient Indian system of niyoga, the theme is simple, extremely well made. I will always be thankful to Amol Palekar for making a movie like this.

Astitva, that’s why I simply love Tabu. The heroine Aditi (isn’t that wonderful!) is the most traditional wife who finally speaks her mind out and decides to make her life better.

Bandini, to most people it seemed like endless suffering of an innocent girl. But remember Nutan kills Ashok Kumar’s wife and goes to him in the end. True he was her lover and circumstances forced their relation to end, but how many heroines kill the wife?

Chandni Bar, Tabu is a bar dancer who can’t escape circumstances. But this is one very unusual strong woman and an excellent movie.

Damini, the maid’s rape was no business of Meenakshi, yet she fought for her and even went against her family and husband. It’s actually one of my favorite films. Damini inspires me. The heroine is truly strong and fights without being the goddess. It’s probably one of the best movies with a woman in the lead role.

Doosra Admi, Yash Chopra surprisingly brings some normal women in his abnormal movies. Actually let’s not be mean, he made few really bad films but some of them are very good. In this movie Rakhi wrecks a young couple’s life because she sees her dead lover’s image in the young man. Sashi plays her dead lover and Rishi is the young man.

Fire, for it has lesbian relationship in it. And it potrays accoss the silent revolution of two unwanted women. I may or may not approve the way they take, but this movie is special for me simply because they donot fathom to supression.

Guide, Dev Anand is a very special person. Of course because of his looks and for bringing in some most unconventional feminine as well as masculine images to Hindi cinema. We now know him as the biggest crazy guy in Bollywood but he brought in some major changes. I had read the book Guide and I have to admit the movie is better. Waheeda leaves her husband, not because he is abusive or evil, simply because she falls in love with the guide and wants a better life than stifling in her loveless marriage. She pursues her career and when she falls out of love again she makes it clear. Rosie (that’s Waheeda) is one of the best heroines we ever had. And the character is so real - not deviod of any faults, but strong since she has the guts to follow her heart.

Hu Tu Tu, Gulzar again. Tabu’s a spoilt brat who eventually becomes an activist. It’s not one of the best films of Gulzar, but the two women characters are remarkable. Suhashini Mulay plays Tabu’s mother and does something human and natural, sleeps with her mentor to rise to power. Tabu on the other hand gets pregnant by Sunil Shetty but never thinks of marrying him because she knows marriage as such is only a social stupidity and love is what counts.

Hum Tum, though definitely inspired by ‘When Harry met Sally’ the film had very little in common with the English one. It’s a rather refreshing movie. Rani does two great things, sleeps before marriage and is willing to plunge in a normal life after becoming a widow. These two most normal things are so no no in Hindi movies that a normal woman was a welcome change.

Insaf Ka Tarazu, Another favorite of mine. If you haven’t watched it, please do so. Zeenat Aman is a model who loses her rape case because a model is ‘loose’ anyway. Male chauvinism is at its peak in this movie.

Ijazat, Two very unusual women, Rekha leaves the husband who cheats on her, Anuradha Patel the woman who refuses to marry and prefers live in. Only and only Gulzar could make a movie so touching and honest. The best part of the movie is the clarity and honesty of every character.

Kya Kehna, pregnant Preity Zinta keeps her baby. An out and out hopeless movie but has something different, specially when she doesn’t marry the biological dad. The only tragedy here is she chooses Chandrachoor over Saif!

Lamhe, a very soapy romance, yet the heroine (Sridevi) marries someone who was in love with her mother. This is definitely not conventional.

Mirch Masala, Ketan Mehta made some outstanding movies but went nuts afterwards like Mahesh Bhatt. It’s painful to think a guy who made Bhav ni Bhavai, also made Oh Darling yeh hai India and Maya Memsaab. But this masterpiece is about few unusual women who find the most unique way to avenge the villain. Please see it if you haven’t it’s the best movie on women empowerment.

Mandi, the fight of prostitutes against the moral police. This is Shaym Benegal, so you can’t go wrong.

Mammo, another Shaym Benegal movie about two sisters. Farida Jalal we all know is a great actress but this is her best, believe me. Also the way it explores Indo Pak relation is outstanding.

Paheli, the traditional village bride Rani chooses a ghost over her useless husband. It’s a fantastic, erudite movie. I love the folk flavor that’s in it. The puppets, the narrative style, the language and of course Shah Rukh’s in it.

Pinjar, what a beautiful movie. It’s that side of partition that was rarely shown. Urmila is great in it and I remember crying for weeks after watching it.

Satta, Raveena is forced into politics but once she is in it, she does it well. Not a great movie but yes an unusual woman there.

Samay, yes copied from seven, every bit but did you ever think Brad Pitt would be played by Sushmita Sen? Not only that she is a comfortable single mother.

Suraj ka Satvaan Ghoda, I have read the book too. A masterpiece, and each woman is so unique in their way particularly Jamuma, played by Rajeshwari.

Thoda sa Roomani ho Jaaye, I have innumerable reasons to love Amol Palekar. This movie questions the very masculine essence of feminity. I have watched it at least 50 times and can go on another 50 times. Anita Kanwar is in her 30’s unmarried and is naturally scorned by the so called ‘women’.

Zubeidaa, Benegal again and based on a true story. But I love stories about women who don’t confirm to patterns.

There are few more movies, I am not going into the details of but have unusual women.Razia Sultan, Pakheezah, Umrao Jaan, Lajja, Dayra, Sardari Begum and Saathiya.

U, Me, aur Hum

This is not a movie review. I simply cannot review a Kajol's movie, cos I love her too much to do so. I am biased against her movies, I can never criticise her.

But here i would like to talk about the concept or the story of the movie. I found it interesting because it revolves aound some very interesting principles I adhere in my life to. Principles which are very close to my heart. Principles which make me live my life. And its my privilege to discuss about them in a platform that is provided by U, Me, aur Hum

This movie celebrates love and relationships. Ah, this is my favorite topic on which I can just go on and on. What is love? Does it get lost over the years? Do we take our partners for granted? How do we recognise our soulmates? Does love at first sight exist? Is it ok to lie for getting our true love? All these questions and more are answered in the movie. This movie talks about looking for your true love, finding your true love, and then fighting all odds to be with your true love. I loved the way Ajay took care of Pia, his true love, against all odds and stood by her side, loving her, protecting her, and guarding her all the time.

This movie also talks about genuine love. If you love someone truly, you accept him/her the way he/she is. With all his good qualities as well as bad. I mean, you cant love the sense of humor of your man and not the fact that he hogs a lot? He is a person in totality - with good traits as well as bad. And if you love him truely, you accept him the way he is. And if he also loves you, he will slowly change those traits of his which probably you dont like much. You dont have to be explicit about your likes and dislikes, if he loves you truely he will find out on his own.

"If you love someone truely, you dont expect him to change. And you change for the person you love"

So in a both-way traffic, its a win-win situation.

Love is also about being dead honest with your partner. The relationships should be absolutely transparent. If you have made a mistake, accept it. Its absolutely human to make mistakes, but when you accept them, your true love will definitely understand you. This movie celebrates the spirit of honesty and sincerity in a relationship.

Love is not only the good times, but the bad times as well. Life is a journey, and it becomes worthwhile if you have your soulmate sharing this journey with you. Ups and downs are part and parcel of life. And at no cost, you should be apart. True love should always be together. I just loved this idea. Long live Ajay Devgan for believing in this and projecting this through his movie. Like the character Ajay says, "Pyar karne ka junoon hi kaafi nahin, pyar ko nibhane ka bhi junoon hona chahiye". Love is a process, just like life - it is not a one time thing. Sustainance is a real life problem in love in today's age.

This movie talks about faith and positivism. Another principle I believe deeply in. Life is all about being positive, in good times as well as in bad times. Never let your beleif go. And if you believe something truely, take the plunge. Even if it may seem impossible, even if the going gets tough, never give up. Believe in miracle, believe in magic, believe in angels - i know they exist. I have experienced them in my life, we all do, sometimes or the other. Have faith on all your dreams. Do not discard them.

This movie also talks about following your heart. How heart is always right, and mind at times, is not. Your mind may fail you, but your heart will never. Your heart recognises your soul mate, your heart guides you in every crossroads of your life. I am ruled by my heart, so I know - at times it is pretty conflicting, pretty confusing, but I know my heart is never wrong.

Last but not the least, this movie talks about letting go off ego in relationships. Often, while in the journey, we lose the "US" part in the relationship - its only "U" and "ME". But we should always remember that reltaionships are all about "US" - one entity, one identity... dont ever break this "US" into "U" and "ME". Though these two are different components, having different identity, agreed... but let these different identities be inseparable in "US" - thats the plunge, thats the challenge we have to take in life, in love - only true love will be able to retain this "US" componenet, forever.

So, if you beieve in these principles like me, this movie is worth a watch. You may find it boring, you may find it a bit to dragging, but the philosophies of life depicted in the movie will definitely touch your heart.

Long live love.

Love Songs - Yesterday, Today and Tomorrow

Last Saturday I saw this Benglish movie starring Jaya Bacchan, Om Puri, Mallika Sarabhai amongst others. A crisp well- made, well-edited and well-directed movie depicting human relationships, celebrating Love in all its shades.

Love is a sweet "sad-song"

The story revolves around Mridula Chatterjee, now in her sixties, leading a successful and independent life, having an NGO of her own which "fights" for the "challenged" children. Her grandson Rohan, whom she has brought up single-handedly comes home for his vacations from law school in Bangalore. Rohan's natural curiosity about his grandmother's life compels her to walk down the memory lane and dig out her memories of the past that had for long being confined within her heart.

Hers is a life with many ups and downs - one that forms a good story line for a novel. Memories of her University days; turbulence heralding the Nexalite era of poetry, idealism and uproar; her one and only love Aftab Jaffrey lost in the wake of communal prejudices; her hurriedly arranged marriage and the untimely death of her husband while she was five month pregnant; memories of her posthumus daughter, Palaash, who is always troubled, always tempestuous, and always insecured in her life, and blamed everything to her mother. As Mridula narrated her past to Rohan and his friend Tara, they begin to understand the choicesshe had to make - for herself and for Rohan. They realise why Mridula was forced to reveal a strictly guarded secret to Palaash (that she was Aftab's daughter) which resulted her untimely death, and then why she decided to move on alone despite her daughter's death and a possibility of a second chance with Sftaab, with whom she had an encounter again in the rural areas of Birbhum, many years later.

Direction wise, I felt only two hitches - The director could hve done without the english version of the Rabindra Sangeet - "Jodi tor daak shune keu na ashe tobe ekla cholo re" - the original version would have been more welcome. I personally have problem with the term "challenged" used for people with disablities - arent we all challenged? I think we are more challenged than them. But otherwise, its a treat for all Kolkata lovers to watch this movie. College Street, Coffee House, Park Street, Victorial Memorial, i mean, u just name it. Kolkata is very well shot in the movie.

This movie is of the genre which provokes thoughts within you - this movie forces you to think - think about life, about love, about relationships. This is an evocative story of how ordinary lives suddenly change due to extraordinary circumstances and how the fragnance of love moves gently from dark past towards fresh present, to give a new hope and the possibility of a glorious tomorrow. Life is all about decisions - deciding and standing by your decisions. Love is the most precious gift you get from God, and those who stick by their love, no matter what, end up being happy and content. And those who give up to the pressures of the society, and the oppositions of the family, end up being incomplete. Aftaab had given up to the pressure of his family and society, moved to England abandonning Mridula, and the result? He messed up his life getting married to an alcoholic and living the marriage life-long just for the sake of convenience, hurting himself, Mridula and Rebea (his wife). Mridula, had a life of turbulence with a forced marriage and spent her lifetime alone, loving only Aftaab throughout her entire life, only waiting for him, and struggling to get a firm foot in order to establish herself so that she could sustain herself and her daughter. Only, only, if both of them could fight the initial oppostions and stayed together - probably the movie wouldnt have been made! but then their life would have been probably much better, and much complete! Palaash would have got her father, and that would have made her a more confident and a more secured person. Next time, any lovers decided to call it quits due to external pressure - think about it.

For God's Sake

Last night I saw a movie - "Khudaa kay Liye - In the name of God". A very hard hitting movie with well sketched plot and almost real life characters. Loved the intensity of the movie. Liked the message of the movie. Well, talking about message, many a times it so happens that the person who is the creative head of a particular article/movie/song/advertisement etc may have a particular message in his mind which he wants to convey but different people perceive his product differently. Which is absolutely normal, I guess, for the best thing about human beings is that we all are different, unique individual. And this movie has hit me in a particular way which may or may not be the same as you perceive it, but nevertheless to celebrate the uniqueness of individual characters, I shall share my observation.

The movie revolves around certain characters, mostly Muslims, Britts and Americans. The movie celebrates human relationships, interaction of one individual with another in the socio-politico-religious backdrop prevailing in Pakistan, UK, and America immediately before and after 9/11. Initially i thought this movie is anti-muslim, then I thought probably this movie is anti-american, but by the end of the movie I realised that the movie is neither of the two. This movie condemns human ego, selfishness, hatred, and how these negative traits when not curbed, destroy love, life of people and society at large. Whether the character is a Muslim or a Christian, whether the character is residing in Lahore or UK or America, is immaterial. The movie is beyond the petty human made boundaries and defferences based on Religion, Caste, Creed etc. Actually as an afterthought, I realised that the negative, destructive traits of human beings can be seen everywhere, in every corner of the world, amongst the followers of every religion, amongst the believers of every faith. Likewise, virtues are not confined to any particular religion or belief or society at large.

A father (a Pakistani residing in UK for years), who cheats his own daughter and brings her to Pakistan and forcibly gets her married against her wish to her cousin, so that she does not marry outside her religion, is to be condemned irrespective of his religion! But having seeing this movie, I know people will generalise, "Ah Muslims are like that! Ah Muslims treat their women in a pathetic way!" and so on... nobody will talk about the individual, and no body will bother about the girl who is unfortunate to have a father like him. But exploitation of women is something which is found all over the world, from remote villages in 3rd world countires, to metropolitan and cosmopolitan cities to even developed countries like USA and other European countries. May be the ways get subtler as you move from villages to cities, from developing countries to developed ones, but lets accept the fact it is still there, and probably will remain in the years to come as well, though the degree may vary and so vary the ways. So why single out a particular religion or a community?

A young boy is convinced to be a Jihaadi, he is brain-washed into believing that religious belief is reflected in one's dress and beard. That singing is a vice. His life gets almost ruined, but do you find this only amongst Muslims? Think again. The real life stories of dooming intelligent youngster's career by brain-washing them into joining the dirty politics by giving their patriotism a wrong boost - you see this in every society across all the times. Naxalites movement ruined so many lives of young, bright college-goers! DId the movement bring about any change towards betterment of the society? No it didnot. It just catered to the selfish interest of handfull of our eminent political leaders. But the ideology of those lost youngsters were not vague. They were genuine, only that they were being manipulated by crooked politicians. This once again proves the point. Its explotation of some form or the other to cater to the self interest of handful of people. Wonder why we never take lessons from history? Wonder why we spend our liftime in hatred and vengenance? Wonder why we are anti-Islamic, or anti- American, or anti-this and anti-that? We should actually be anti-exploitation, and take an oath to fight this terrible disease of human kind.

If you really want to fight terrorism,then fight hatred! Spread love, in your way, no matter how small it is. And the first step you can take towards this, is stop having inhibition or pre-conceived notion about any group, caste, creed, religion, or society. Open your mind and follow your heart. Your God is inside you. And He only wants you to love. Love unconditionally, and love all - Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Christian, Atheist. If you have to condemn someone for his act, condemn him, not his religion; not his country; not his province. It is he, who has let the negativity affect him, no religion teaches you violence and hatred, only corrupt people do.

Follow the path of ultimate truth and unconditional love. You may not go to temple or mosque, but if you are honest, and have a heart to love all unconditionally and move ahead in life, you are the best Muslim, or Hindu, or Christian, or Sikh, that your God can be proud of, and you can make this world a much better place. Let og of vices like hatred and vengenance and make this earth a better place to live in. For God's sake, our kids deserve a better place to live than what we are leaving for them.

Review of laaga Chunri Mein Daag!

Laga Chunari Mein Daag or “My dress got stained” is not about Monica Lewinsky and Bill Clinton and that white stained dress which almost brought down the American Presidency. No indeed it is not. So what is it then? Well I would characterise Pradeep Sarkar’s latest offering as nothing but the cinematic equivalent of taking that brown-with-age banana that has been sitting on the refrigerator top for ages, cutting it up, putting some fancy ice cream on top and serving it to your mother-in-law while saying with a glittering smile “Look ma, this is a special dish I made just for you.”

There used to be a popular,or should I say done-to-death formula in Bengali movies and also “jatras” (rural open-air theatre) through the 50s to the 90s which would, with minor variations, go something like this. Ailing retired honest father. Evil uncles out to get every last penny. A crumbling palatial house in the village. An always-crying mother doing some kind of repetitive menial work to make ends meet (stiching mostly). And supporting the whole family like a weepy Hercules would be a God-like “elder brother” (best played by that high tension wire of emotions by Sukhen Das who, in the course of the movie, would sacrifice everything to get his younger brother educated or younger sister married (this sacrifice usually entailed making money by pushing brick-laden carts while running a 104 degree fever or some other similar act of heart and body-breaking endurance). Ultimately, due to misunderstandings caused by evil uncle/tartar wife of younger brother/some other agency, he would get denounced by all those whom he had helped by his blood and toil till one day he makes the ultimate sacrifice (usually donation of certain vital organ or death through untreated malady) at which the whole family ultimately realizes his value and amends are made at the deathbed, but not before gallons of tears have flown through the flood-drains.

In “Laga Chunari Mein Daag” we have a similar serially heart-attacking, wallowing in self-pity father played by Anupam Kher (where is Alok Nath when you need him?) while greedy brother’s family tries to dispossess him of his crumbling ancestral house. True to formula, there is the poor mother (Jaya Bachchan) who specializes in sewing petticoats and most of all, in being highly melodramatic. There is the younger bright sister played by Konkona Sen Sharma all “chulbuli and “bulbuli” and towering above them all, is the all-sacrificing Rani Mukherjee playing a female version of the Sukhen Das character. Telling her father “beta chahte the na aap to beta banoongi” (You wanted a son so I will become a son) she comes to the big bad city and no she does not have a sex change operation and become Bobby Darling. Very soon,(actually after just one week of struggle), she realizes that the only way a girl can survive in Mumbai is to sell her…emm…. purity, something poor Sukhen Das could never peddle no matter how much he tried, having to pawn instead a kidney, a liver and a testicle to just get by.

The rest of the story of “Laga Chunari Mein Daag” may be slightly different from the Sukhen Das formula as detailed above but it never ever comes close to a point where you would say “I did not see that coming”. Instead it choses to follow a predictably overwrought path of elevated emotion and beatific saintliness. Hoary (not whorey) cliches abound—- the innocence of the village girl (Banaras being a village is a slight stretch) who, even after becoming a city-dweller, still recites the Hanuman Chalisa with great zeal, the evil of the big city where people are heartless (and horny), the golden-hearted working woman whose body may have become a receptacle of the sins of the moneyed classes but whose mind is still ethereal .

Of course, in keeping with the tastes of the multiplexes, the cliches are wrapped in a Gen Next wrapper: the “Aaao babuji Banaras ki teekhi paan pesh karti hoon aap ke liye” proposal of the kothewali madam as she hands over the reluctant belle to the client with a garland wrapped round his hand being replaced by a more contemporary aesthetic of Harsh Chaya, a call center boss, saying to the innocent heroine: “I am a lonely man and why don’t you stay the night with me?”

Of course a normal director would have left it here. But Pradeep Sarkar, being a top-class proponent of the celluloid art makes things more symbolic: as the lusty Harsh Chayya makes the sexual proposition he is shown playing with a Newton’s cradle where the balls oscillating in simple harmonic fashion is not without deeper significance in the context of the scene. Similarly pregnant in meaning is when Harsh Chayya and Rani Mukherjee’s act of coupling is intercut with scenes of Jaya Bachchan sewing hard. Mention must also be made of the sequence in which Harsh Chaya, topless and in full cry, is seen looming in front of the camera saying “You are so beautiful”. As his lips descend to kiss the lens, even the most heartless of us are forced to turn our eyes away from the screen, stung by the anguish of the poor dear caught in the headlights of Harsh Chaya’s exposed nipples.

However my favorite moment of “Laga Chunari Mein Daag” is when in a passage of searing melodrama, Konkona Sen Sharma tells her mother “Jee bharke ro” (Cry to your heart’s content).

It was then, that as a member of the audience I totally connected with the movie, coming this close to shouting out in Anupam Kherian anguish “Yes yes crying to my heart’s content is exactly what I have been doing ever since the goddamned movie started”

The Bong Connection...

Yesterday I saw this movie. Pretty well made, well edited, well enacted, well scripted and a crisp movie. No, am not here to give a review of any sort, I dont think I will be doing justice that way, because I cannot differentiate a "Aap ka Suroor" from "Anurodh". I think I am a true fan of our Hindi Film Industry (Amitabh Bhacchan hates the term "Bollywood" and so do I!), and enjoy watching films, good, bad and ugly with the same kind of spirit and enthusiasm.

Before watching this movie, I had read an article about this movie on TOI, which said, Anjan Dutta had a satirical take on Bangalees in the film! But honestly, I couldnt find the satire at all... wonder where my IQ level is going?!

The story is of two characters, both bangalees (thats one of the major similarity between the two), two young guys who are born and brought up in two entirely different situations and society, and who chase their dreams and end up in a land which is totally unknown to them. One of them (people who know me, know how miserably bad I am with names, and hence shall stick to the actors' real names rather than the screen ones, please excuse me for that), Shayan Munshi plays the character who is an NRI, born and brought up in the US of A! He is highly inspired by Bengali music "baul geet" and wants to pursue his music career in Bengal. His grandfather is a great musician of the past, and he intends to learn music from him. This guy, despite being born and brought up abroad, is very much close to his grand father and his love for bangla gaan is something which honestly shocked me! Long live these kind of real life characters, if they exist at all!

The other guy, played by Parambrata, is an academically bright young guy who has never stayed out of Kolkata in his entire life so far, but lands up with a million dollar job in USA in pursuit of his dream, or rather shall I say, in order to realise his dreams.

And then the story unravels how these two guys try to cope up with the alien society they end up being, how they get familiarise with this new society despite not being able to completely adjust to the "norms" of that society, how they work towards adopting themselves to the norms of the new society. Their experience, their likes, their dislikes, their heart breaks, and how at the end of the day, they return to their root! Shayan returns to USA and Parambrata returns to Kolkata.

And thats what I liked the most about the movie. This movie is not about whether you are a Bengali, or a Marwari... its all about returning to your root. No matter if you are a Bengali, Punjabi or an English, you belong to where you are born and brought up! If you are brought up in USA, lets face it, you grow up to be an American, thats where you belong, thats what you are accustomed with. ABCD, or American Born Confused Desi, is a term which is created by us, to show them in poor light, but lets face it, I can site many real life examples of how the young generation in India is aping US culture. Only day before yesterday, I happened to go to Camac Street/ Parksreet pretty late at night, and was shocked to see the way guys and girls, who are probably till in their teens, roaming around, they were drunk, their dresses were not worth mentioning. My point is if its a concern, then its a global concern, why single out those who are born abroad. And honestly, if you stay in a place for long, and particularly from your childhood, then you imbibe those things that the society offers you. You cant expect a bong child brought up abroad to be very "Bangalee" in nature. You cannot and shoudnot impose "Bangaliyana" on him. And if you do that as parents, or very worried Mashi, Pishi, Mama, Kaka, then the outcome will be a confused person, a confused identity... now whether you call him ABCD or WXYZ is upto you!

The movie showed the bangalees in US, and termed them as happy and confused "second class citizen" but then they are the older generation. The present generation is quite confident of their status. And thats what I appreciate about this present generation. Whatever you are, be proud of your identity. Be flexible in your attitude, be ready to accept your flaws if somebody points that to you (actually you are lucky if you have someone who can honestly point your flaws), and be ready to work on them. Thats what I appreciate the most about this generation. They are open minded, may be a bit spoilt and pampered ( but its definitely not their fault!) But they call spade a spade, and they are ready to accept their flaws. They are not apprehensive of saying "sorry" if they realise they are wrong. And we call them ABCD? No way! They are more like global citizen. They are not confused at all. Bangalee or not very Bangalee...how does that matter?