Its been long since I blogged. At times you just feel too weak to accept your existance, forget moving ahead. At times you feel like looking back and doing an introspection of your life... with my 34 years of experience i have realized that those are the times you should never do any introspection. When you have a pre-conceived notion you can never be unbiased. And introduction is all about being unbias.
Take any negative emotion... vengenance, hatred, jealousy...anything that you can name of...they form a cycle, a whirlpool that just sinks you in. Say for example, when two people fight. One of them realize that he is wrong, he tries to mend his ways, but the other want doesnt understand he is changing, so he continues fighting. then the other man realizes and wants to stop fighting, but the first ones say no, I wont stop...because when I realized and tried to change you continued fighting, now even though we both have realized, I will still not stop because you didnt when i wanted to....
Tell me friend, in a situation like this can this fight be stopped? Ego...ego is the root of all devil. Take any two super powers fighting, or any two friends fighting, or any two lovers fighting. Its the pleasure of proving each other wrong, its the pleasure of ripping each other's power, its the pleasure of a "shallow" win that keeps us going in these lines of...nothing, but self destruction. We wake up in the morning and start fighting. Have we ever realized why we fight? Why we criticise others? Why we think others are wrong.... My boss is wrong, my husband is wrong, the government is wrong, Sharukh Khan is wrong, Amitabh Bacchan is wrong... the whole day all that we do with a lot of passion is complaining and cribbing. I wonder, why we do this?
We do this because this is our greatest defense mechanism...we start proving everybody else wrong to cover up the things that WE KNOW we have done wrong. The more wrong you do, the more cynical you be of others... Whats within, thats without....
Friday, December 18, 2009
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Ode to our Government (Read any political party)
In Radio, TV etc, you always have this "dedicate a song" progrma...somehow I always found it funny...but nevertheless, today I want to dedicate a song to our beloved Government of India, and people running it. Here it goes...
One of Gandhi-ji's favourite songs is called "Vaishnav jan." It's always associated with him because he loved the lyrics and tried to follow those ideals. He also wanted to instill those ideas in all he met. He was honoured with the title "Father of India," and I'm sure he would have wanted his children to follow them. No, this post is not about him, as honestly, I am not his "die-hard" fan, but yes, I love some of the things he said/did/believed in...only some though.
The current crop of Indian Leaders (Gandhiji's children, if you may call them) think that they are honoring this great personality by bringing in his glasses and slippers back to India. So today, I want to dedicate a song which was Gandhiji's favorite to these political leaders, with a hope that they change their mind and start following this song in order to pay tribute to our "Father of the Nation"... and if not anything else, this will help us Indians in many ways...
Vaishnav jan to tene kahiye je, peed paraayi jaane re /Par dukhe upkaar kare toye, man abhimaan na aane re//
The true devotee [of God] is one who understands the pain of those who are not their own,
Always ready to help those who are unhappy, and does not let arrogance enter his mind.
If the government was really interested in honouring Gandhi-ji's memory, they should be able to understand the problems that the people are facing. I would say that the biggest problem that we are facing in India now is the ever rising prices of basic food products - rice, lentils, pulses... I mean, give us a break - thats common man's food after all. I would say these things take just a little bit of priority over making a huge noise about Gandhi-ji's things that he gave away during his lifetime and nobody cared about for at least 60 years.
Sakal lok maan sahune vande, ninda na karen keni re / Vaach kaach man nischal raakhe, dhan dhan janani teni re //
She bows to the whole world, does not criticise anybody, Words, deeds, and mind are kept pure, blessed is the mother who has such a child.
Well, this first bit the Indian government does really well. Bows to practically the whole world. "Oho, you want to come and blow up people here? No problem, please go ahead... consequences to you? None, don't worry... we will strongly condemn the acts but words have never hurt anyone. Do you mind if we blame the previous government for your actions? That way you can seem to be victims too!"
Their words are definitely unpure... deeds and minds alike. Mother India is not very blessed with most of the current leaders that we have. Mother India is silent, but how long will we, the people living here, be?
Sam-drishti ne trishna tyaagi, parastree jene maat re /
Jivaa thake, asatya na bole, par dhan nava jhaale haath re //
All are looked upon as equals, desire is abandoned, and he treats women as if they were his mother,
His tongue tires if he attempts to lie, he does not want other people's wealth.
I really wish the government would have this attitude. Right now, men and women are not looked upon equally, different castes are not looked upon equally, hell, ministers and public are not looked upon equally. Violence against women is a huge problem and their opportunities are still restricted in much of the country. Lies are the bread and butter of politics and stealing the taxpayers' money... that's an Olympic sport in itself. If only any of them bothers to read this blog... or if anyone of you know anyone of them...please let them know this song is dedicated to them.
Moh maaya vyape nahin jene, drudh vairaagya jena manmaa re /Ram naam shu taali laagi, sakal theerth tena tan ma re //
Desire and illusion don't hold him, he has detached himself from the world, The name of God is on his lips, all places of pilgrimage are in his body.
Government is very much attached to power, but not so much to the people who give them their power. Detachment is definitely there in them...from their people. They do use God to stay in power as much as possible... for some reason if God / religion is mentioned people forget rational thinking and hand over their brains. So instead of religion being something that unites, politicians use it to divide and the "we will protect you from them" seems to work better in the short term than "we'll get schools and electricity and water," of course the latter are much more difficult than the former, especially when there's nobody to protect against... other than goons who work for the politicians.
Vana lobhi ne kapat rachit chhe, kaam krodh nivaarya re / Bhane narsaiyyon tenu darshan kartaa, kul ekoter tarya re //
He has no deceit, no greed, has given up lust and anger,
If Narsi [the poet] is in the presence of such a person, his whole family will get salvation.
Government's definitely failed on all this... the bad side is shown to the people of the country, they're really nice to foriegners as far as I can tell.So, I'm asking those ministers who want to keep the memory of Mahatma Gandhi alive, take a page from his favourite poem and be that person... building statues, getting bits of memorabilia back won't keep his memory alive... as Gandhi-ji liked to say, "Be the change you want to see in the world," or at the very least, stop interfering with people who want to see change happen.
One of Gandhi-ji's favourite songs is called "Vaishnav jan." It's always associated with him because he loved the lyrics and tried to follow those ideals. He also wanted to instill those ideas in all he met. He was honoured with the title "Father of India," and I'm sure he would have wanted his children to follow them. No, this post is not about him, as honestly, I am not his "die-hard" fan, but yes, I love some of the things he said/did/believed in...only some though.
The current crop of Indian Leaders (Gandhiji's children, if you may call them) think that they are honoring this great personality by bringing in his glasses and slippers back to India. So today, I want to dedicate a song which was Gandhiji's favorite to these political leaders, with a hope that they change their mind and start following this song in order to pay tribute to our "Father of the Nation"... and if not anything else, this will help us Indians in many ways...
Vaishnav jan to tene kahiye je, peed paraayi jaane re /Par dukhe upkaar kare toye, man abhimaan na aane re//
The true devotee [of God] is one who understands the pain of those who are not their own,
Always ready to help those who are unhappy, and does not let arrogance enter his mind.
If the government was really interested in honouring Gandhi-ji's memory, they should be able to understand the problems that the people are facing. I would say that the biggest problem that we are facing in India now is the ever rising prices of basic food products - rice, lentils, pulses... I mean, give us a break - thats common man's food after all. I would say these things take just a little bit of priority over making a huge noise about Gandhi-ji's things that he gave away during his lifetime and nobody cared about for at least 60 years.
Sakal lok maan sahune vande, ninda na karen keni re / Vaach kaach man nischal raakhe, dhan dhan janani teni re //
She bows to the whole world, does not criticise anybody, Words, deeds, and mind are kept pure, blessed is the mother who has such a child.
Well, this first bit the Indian government does really well. Bows to practically the whole world. "Oho, you want to come and blow up people here? No problem, please go ahead... consequences to you? None, don't worry... we will strongly condemn the acts but words have never hurt anyone. Do you mind if we blame the previous government for your actions? That way you can seem to be victims too!"
Their words are definitely unpure... deeds and minds alike. Mother India is not very blessed with most of the current leaders that we have. Mother India is silent, but how long will we, the people living here, be?
Sam-drishti ne trishna tyaagi, parastree jene maat re /
Jivaa thake, asatya na bole, par dhan nava jhaale haath re //
All are looked upon as equals, desire is abandoned, and he treats women as if they were his mother,
His tongue tires if he attempts to lie, he does not want other people's wealth.
I really wish the government would have this attitude. Right now, men and women are not looked upon equally, different castes are not looked upon equally, hell, ministers and public are not looked upon equally. Violence against women is a huge problem and their opportunities are still restricted in much of the country. Lies are the bread and butter of politics and stealing the taxpayers' money... that's an Olympic sport in itself. If only any of them bothers to read this blog... or if anyone of you know anyone of them...please let them know this song is dedicated to them.
Moh maaya vyape nahin jene, drudh vairaagya jena manmaa re /Ram naam shu taali laagi, sakal theerth tena tan ma re //
Desire and illusion don't hold him, he has detached himself from the world, The name of God is on his lips, all places of pilgrimage are in his body.
Government is very much attached to power, but not so much to the people who give them their power. Detachment is definitely there in them...from their people. They do use God to stay in power as much as possible... for some reason if God / religion is mentioned people forget rational thinking and hand over their brains. So instead of religion being something that unites, politicians use it to divide and the "we will protect you from them" seems to work better in the short term than "we'll get schools and electricity and water," of course the latter are much more difficult than the former, especially when there's nobody to protect against... other than goons who work for the politicians.
Vana lobhi ne kapat rachit chhe, kaam krodh nivaarya re / Bhane narsaiyyon tenu darshan kartaa, kul ekoter tarya re //
He has no deceit, no greed, has given up lust and anger,
If Narsi [the poet] is in the presence of such a person, his whole family will get salvation.
Government's definitely failed on all this... the bad side is shown to the people of the country, they're really nice to foriegners as far as I can tell.So, I'm asking those ministers who want to keep the memory of Mahatma Gandhi alive, take a page from his favourite poem and be that person... building statues, getting bits of memorabilia back won't keep his memory alive... as Gandhi-ji liked to say, "Be the change you want to see in the world," or at the very least, stop interfering with people who want to see change happen.
Friday, October 30, 2009
Will be back shortly...
Hopefully will be back writing blogs shortly but presently have to sort out certain things...life at times throws more things at you than you can share...wish me luck...
Monday, October 26, 2009
Relationships...
This is one of the most complicated aspect of life. And this is something that should have been the most simplest aspect of life. Human psychology is so damn complex. What we want we dont know, and this leads us to utter confusion.
Why am I babbling about this so late at night? When I see around myself, I dont see any couple happy with each other. Yes, I am talking about people I know, and true they are not enough to pass on a verdict for the entire world...but my world comprises of them. Am I really that unfortunate that couples I know, friends I care about... they dont seem to be happy with their partners at all?
Think of any possible disparity and I know someone or the other who is going through it at the moment. A friend of mine, got divorced recently. He wasnt happy when he was with his ex-wife, and he isnt happy now either...Is this love?
A firend of mine, having a lot of problems in her marriage... she thinks its worse than a broken family...they are together for the sake of thier child, but their togetherness is devoid of any meaning. They are not happy together, probably they wont be happy away from each other as well...Is this love?
A couple I know, are together, but keep on straying each other which is an open secret and probably an understanding amongst them. Apparently they are one happy family, but both the husband and the wife are having affairs outside their marriage. Is this love?
A colleague I know of, is having an extra marital affair with a widow and his wife has no clue about it. Is this love?
Another person I know is having a secret affair with her wife's best friend...and the wife doesnt have a clue about it...Is this love?
A long time friends of mine - I know of a couple who were madly in love, got married against all odds and now the guy is having an affair elsewhere. The wife knows but is quiet...Is this love?
Another firend of mine, though claims to be a perfect husband, wants to have an affair with his one-time girl-friend - an "affair" mind you...he doesnt want to marry her or anything - he wants to "sail" on both the boats... Is this love?
One of my acquaintance recently ommitted a suicide... am out of touch with him for long now, but other firends who were close told me that it has to do with his wife. Is this love?
A friend of mine is getting attracted to another guy outside her marriage as the "other" guy reminds her of her ex-boy friend! Ridiculous...Is this love?
And since all these above examples are from my firends circle - one can very well imagine that am talking about couples who have been together for minimum 10 years! Most of them have had love marriages... most of them "chose" to spend their lives with the chosen partner...n now this!
What do we look for, in a relationship? I think we ourselves are not sure what our expectations are - so we really cannot blame the other person for matching upto them. I want to ask all these friends of mine...why are they spoiling their lives like this? If they dont think they are spoiling their lives...then I want to ask them...why are they shattering my faith on "love"...why why why?
Am really heart broken now... I want to meet people who are happy in love...who are good examples of "love" and "relationships". Need some positivity to sustain my belief in "love". As I begin to "end" another day of my life... I pray to God, please show me one "true" love...a love that culminates into perfect bliss every moment...a relationship that has sustained many oddities and is still going strong... a love that is pure and makes two individuals proud of its existance. Let me re-affirm my belief that "love" is the only thing that gets you going...love that is selfless, egoless and makes you strong. Love is like "oxygen" - you just cannot live without it...let us have this oxygen in its purest form, God...
Today, am really hurt broken - result of an internal turmoil for long... need God to intervene and restore my faith. Show me one genuine relationship God...show me soon.
Why am I babbling about this so late at night? When I see around myself, I dont see any couple happy with each other. Yes, I am talking about people I know, and true they are not enough to pass on a verdict for the entire world...but my world comprises of them. Am I really that unfortunate that couples I know, friends I care about... they dont seem to be happy with their partners at all?
Think of any possible disparity and I know someone or the other who is going through it at the moment. A friend of mine, got divorced recently. He wasnt happy when he was with his ex-wife, and he isnt happy now either...Is this love?
A firend of mine, having a lot of problems in her marriage... she thinks its worse than a broken family...they are together for the sake of thier child, but their togetherness is devoid of any meaning. They are not happy together, probably they wont be happy away from each other as well...Is this love?
A couple I know, are together, but keep on straying each other which is an open secret and probably an understanding amongst them. Apparently they are one happy family, but both the husband and the wife are having affairs outside their marriage. Is this love?
A colleague I know of, is having an extra marital affair with a widow and his wife has no clue about it. Is this love?
Another person I know is having a secret affair with her wife's best friend...and the wife doesnt have a clue about it...Is this love?
A long time friends of mine - I know of a couple who were madly in love, got married against all odds and now the guy is having an affair elsewhere. The wife knows but is quiet...Is this love?
Another firend of mine, though claims to be a perfect husband, wants to have an affair with his one-time girl-friend - an "affair" mind you...he doesnt want to marry her or anything - he wants to "sail" on both the boats... Is this love?
One of my acquaintance recently ommitted a suicide... am out of touch with him for long now, but other firends who were close told me that it has to do with his wife. Is this love?
A friend of mine is getting attracted to another guy outside her marriage as the "other" guy reminds her of her ex-boy friend! Ridiculous...Is this love?
And since all these above examples are from my firends circle - one can very well imagine that am talking about couples who have been together for minimum 10 years! Most of them have had love marriages... most of them "chose" to spend their lives with the chosen partner...n now this!
What do we look for, in a relationship? I think we ourselves are not sure what our expectations are - so we really cannot blame the other person for matching upto them. I want to ask all these friends of mine...why are they spoiling their lives like this? If they dont think they are spoiling their lives...then I want to ask them...why are they shattering my faith on "love"...why why why?
Am really heart broken now... I want to meet people who are happy in love...who are good examples of "love" and "relationships". Need some positivity to sustain my belief in "love". As I begin to "end" another day of my life... I pray to God, please show me one "true" love...a love that culminates into perfect bliss every moment...a relationship that has sustained many oddities and is still going strong... a love that is pure and makes two individuals proud of its existance. Let me re-affirm my belief that "love" is the only thing that gets you going...love that is selfless, egoless and makes you strong. Love is like "oxygen" - you just cannot live without it...let us have this oxygen in its purest form, God...
Today, am really hurt broken - result of an internal turmoil for long... need God to intervene and restore my faith. Show me one genuine relationship God...show me soon.
Sunday, October 25, 2009
Hot-N-Cold Vienna
At times I crib about our country not being so advanced as in West. But this hot-n-cold treatment in Vienna made me realize that sometimes not having to stay in an advanced country helps - or may be that I am too used to be in a place which has never put me through freezing cold outdoor and burning hot indoor!!!
Vienna in October is cold cold cold!!! 10 days back when I had arrived here, it was freezing 3-4 degrees with rain/snow and a itchy wind. For the last some days, the waether changed completely - now its very nice - may be aroound 9-10 degrees, no rain and the wind has calmed down. This is a rare climate for Vienna in October, localites say... may be God did it for this special daughter of His, who He knows wouldnt have stood that weather for long (love to think it in this way!)...but whether its is 3-4 or 9-10 deg, its still cold. Sho when u are out u have to wear quite some winter accessories to protect yourself, including woolen gloves, mittens and hats. The irritating part comes when from outdoor you are venturing in some indoors - like your apartment of hotel... you have to start stripteasing the moment you are in! And this is no exaggeration. Because indorr it is warm! At times much more warmer than you would prefer. Say for instance, my Apartment...
Its hot hot hot.
Dark room, bright room. Closed windows, open windows. Heater on, heater off. And the last straw was yesterday, when I put the heater off, and a.c on. But my room takes pride in the fact that it is a perennial tandoor.
Shiva's third eye must be openning somewhere very near by.
So what happens is that when am indoor I am in a hot atmosphere -(right now, my a.c is on at 16 deg but somehow the room temperature is showing as 27 deg! I was taking a nice Sunday afternoon nap and when I woke up 10 mins back I found myself in a pool of sweat!!! And now, am planning to go out for a walk and I feel like rebelling this hot-n-cold torture by not putting on any winter garment at all...!!!
Vienna in October is cold cold cold!!! 10 days back when I had arrived here, it was freezing 3-4 degrees with rain/snow and a itchy wind. For the last some days, the waether changed completely - now its very nice - may be aroound 9-10 degrees, no rain and the wind has calmed down. This is a rare climate for Vienna in October, localites say... may be God did it for this special daughter of His, who He knows wouldnt have stood that weather for long (love to think it in this way!)...but whether its is 3-4 or 9-10 deg, its still cold. Sho when u are out u have to wear quite some winter accessories to protect yourself, including woolen gloves, mittens and hats. The irritating part comes when from outdoor you are venturing in some indoors - like your apartment of hotel... you have to start stripteasing the moment you are in! And this is no exaggeration. Because indorr it is warm! At times much more warmer than you would prefer. Say for instance, my Apartment...
Its hot hot hot.
Dark room, bright room. Closed windows, open windows. Heater on, heater off. And the last straw was yesterday, when I put the heater off, and a.c on. But my room takes pride in the fact that it is a perennial tandoor.
Shiva's third eye must be openning somewhere very near by.
So what happens is that when am indoor I am in a hot atmosphere -(right now, my a.c is on at 16 deg but somehow the room temperature is showing as 27 deg! I was taking a nice Sunday afternoon nap and when I woke up 10 mins back I found myself in a pool of sweat!!! And now, am planning to go out for a walk and I feel like rebelling this hot-n-cold torture by not putting on any winter garment at all...!!!
Love...
It has been another long day for Rituparna. Long, tiring, and to make it worse a routine day; nothing exceptional, good or bad happened and that what makes it so irritating for her.
"I need a miracle", she thought as she unlocked her apartment and entered in there. "I need a miracle to save me from the boring, uneventful life that am living; and I need it soon, before it is too late." As she kept her stuffs in their "supposed-to-be" places she wondered if those stuffs felt the same boredom that she suffers from. With a sudden impulse she kept the umbrella on the shelf of her bedroom rather than on the Stand in the main entrance. She kept her purse on the centre table rather than in the cupboard and left her laptop bag on the bed itself. Let them enjoy a different state of being today...irrespective of whether it is better or worse...just to have a different "taste" of life. She smiled at her insanity and wished she had the power to change her own course of life the way she is doing for her stuffs!
Rituparna, a successful career woman in her late twenties. A woman who lives life on her own terms and faces its consequences with a smile today feels burdened with her life. Not because her life is not worth living. In fact, many women would love to trade places with her. A successful career, well established, independent woman, living life on her own terms in this faraway land in Europe... earning a decent livelihood as well as respect in the society...who would not want to be in her place? And she realises that. She is grateful for everything life has given her. She realizes the value, all the more because she has earned them all. Some people are born lucky, some people "get" lucky, and she is definitely the latter. So she relishes the achievements of her life. But with all the fights that she fought right from her childhood, today she feels tired. Tired of fighting and getting things - today she wants to "be" lucky and not "get" lucky.
After changing she switches on the TV - her companion at home and starts preparing dinner for herself. Boredom sets in yet again, but she knows she has to "fight" it to prevent herself from starving. She has to cook tonight, whether or not she feels like doing it. She takes out the marinated chicken from the freezer and stars chopping onions... she always liked chopping onions...as then you can cry your heart out without feeling guilty. The "strong" woman tag that she wears all the time prevents her from crying...but the soft girl inside her, wants to cry - this conflict is best resolved when is is cutting onions. As then the girl trapped inside can cry her heart out without the strong woman interfering in there. As she cuts the onions, she cries and tries to console the girl...the innocent girl who feels like rebelling, but is too weak to do so.
Ritu was very popular amongst her friends always. A bubbly girl, always with a friendly smile whose simplicity moved everybody around her. She believed in perfection of human relationships. She believed in Love... a girl in love with love. All her relationships she lived perfectly. Her power of "loving" was immense and divine. She was the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, the perfect friend...in short her "love" was perfect. She was idealistic and wanted an ideal world - where she would be able to heal others' pain and miseries. Many a times she got scolding from her mother for being too liberal in giving all her stuffs/toys away to needy and poor people around. Her father always supported her and she adored him for that. Ritu was a girl who would unconditionally "give" in every human relationship that she lived. And she believed the world is exactly the way she is.
That has been her biggest mistake. She believed "Love" is conceived by everybody exactly the same way as she does. And her idealism truely exists. At every crossroad of life when someone somewhere would break her heart, she would fight with the cruel world and take her idealism forward - no way she could let her belief break because of one or two persons! She always believed in optimism. She would not let anyone break her faith on "love". So all the hearbreaking events, now matter how small or big they were, were kept somewhere deep within her heart. She believed there would be one specialperson who would help her forget all those events and make her realize that her dream of finding "true love" has indeed come true one day.
And it happened when she met Rahul. She knew he was the one...she knew she got her soul mate. She forgot all her past miseries and she knew her life was perfect with her soul mate. They loved each other truely, or so she thought and their life together was a perfect example of love and togeherness...or so she thought. She felt so secured, so protected in Rahul's arms. She knew thats her world, and she was happy and content.
After being together for 3 whole years and enjoying many good moments, their relationship started falling apart - this process of falling part was so gradual and slow that probably both of them didnot realize it till the time the gap widened to such an extent that they realized they just cannot accept that gap and continue living. Ritu did not want to know whose fault it was - and thats not an important issue at all. The most important issue was it was a great loss, and that the damage was done.
Ritu, with all her idealism and principles could not ome in terms with the pain of staying in that broken relationship - so she had to decide to come out of it. It was tough as this time the girl in her just couldnt take it anymore. She started losing faith on "love", on "relationship" on "God" on everything that she always believed in. Taking a job in Europe she fled the situation there but she knew she could never flee from the memories...from the ghost of the past.
As she started preparing the chicken and warming up the cold rice in the freezer...the ghosts of the past started dancing all around her. She tried to fight them but she was too weak to do so... she wanted to run away, but she didnt know where to. She knew she had to fight and win them over but the girl within had no energy left in her to do so... and thats when she hoped and prayed that some miracle would happen...
Who is this Ritu? ANd why am I blogging about her? I dont know Ritu, but I know that we all can relate to Ritu at some point of our life. When we believe in something very strongly and that belief breaks, we understand Ritu's pain. So Ritu is in each one of us... And miracle? Does miracle happen?
Am at such a crossroad of my life where am yet to see whether miracle happens or not, when you desperately want them to happen. As for Ritu... I wish her all the best. May God send His angels to help Ritu out.
"I need a miracle", she thought as she unlocked her apartment and entered in there. "I need a miracle to save me from the boring, uneventful life that am living; and I need it soon, before it is too late." As she kept her stuffs in their "supposed-to-be" places she wondered if those stuffs felt the same boredom that she suffers from. With a sudden impulse she kept the umbrella on the shelf of her bedroom rather than on the Stand in the main entrance. She kept her purse on the centre table rather than in the cupboard and left her laptop bag on the bed itself. Let them enjoy a different state of being today...irrespective of whether it is better or worse...just to have a different "taste" of life. She smiled at her insanity and wished she had the power to change her own course of life the way she is doing for her stuffs!
Rituparna, a successful career woman in her late twenties. A woman who lives life on her own terms and faces its consequences with a smile today feels burdened with her life. Not because her life is not worth living. In fact, many women would love to trade places with her. A successful career, well established, independent woman, living life on her own terms in this faraway land in Europe... earning a decent livelihood as well as respect in the society...who would not want to be in her place? And she realises that. She is grateful for everything life has given her. She realizes the value, all the more because she has earned them all. Some people are born lucky, some people "get" lucky, and she is definitely the latter. So she relishes the achievements of her life. But with all the fights that she fought right from her childhood, today she feels tired. Tired of fighting and getting things - today she wants to "be" lucky and not "get" lucky.
After changing she switches on the TV - her companion at home and starts preparing dinner for herself. Boredom sets in yet again, but she knows she has to "fight" it to prevent herself from starving. She has to cook tonight, whether or not she feels like doing it. She takes out the marinated chicken from the freezer and stars chopping onions... she always liked chopping onions...as then you can cry your heart out without feeling guilty. The "strong" woman tag that she wears all the time prevents her from crying...but the soft girl inside her, wants to cry - this conflict is best resolved when is is cutting onions. As then the girl trapped inside can cry her heart out without the strong woman interfering in there. As she cuts the onions, she cries and tries to console the girl...the innocent girl who feels like rebelling, but is too weak to do so.
Ritu was very popular amongst her friends always. A bubbly girl, always with a friendly smile whose simplicity moved everybody around her. She believed in perfection of human relationships. She believed in Love... a girl in love with love. All her relationships she lived perfectly. Her power of "loving" was immense and divine. She was the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, the perfect friend...in short her "love" was perfect. She was idealistic and wanted an ideal world - where she would be able to heal others' pain and miseries. Many a times she got scolding from her mother for being too liberal in giving all her stuffs/toys away to needy and poor people around. Her father always supported her and she adored him for that. Ritu was a girl who would unconditionally "give" in every human relationship that she lived. And she believed the world is exactly the way she is.
That has been her biggest mistake. She believed "Love" is conceived by everybody exactly the same way as she does. And her idealism truely exists. At every crossroad of life when someone somewhere would break her heart, she would fight with the cruel world and take her idealism forward - no way she could let her belief break because of one or two persons! She always believed in optimism. She would not let anyone break her faith on "love". So all the hearbreaking events, now matter how small or big they were, were kept somewhere deep within her heart. She believed there would be one specialperson who would help her forget all those events and make her realize that her dream of finding "true love" has indeed come true one day.
And it happened when she met Rahul. She knew he was the one...she knew she got her soul mate. She forgot all her past miseries and she knew her life was perfect with her soul mate. They loved each other truely, or so she thought and their life together was a perfect example of love and togeherness...or so she thought. She felt so secured, so protected in Rahul's arms. She knew thats her world, and she was happy and content.
After being together for 3 whole years and enjoying many good moments, their relationship started falling apart - this process of falling part was so gradual and slow that probably both of them didnot realize it till the time the gap widened to such an extent that they realized they just cannot accept that gap and continue living. Ritu did not want to know whose fault it was - and thats not an important issue at all. The most important issue was it was a great loss, and that the damage was done.
Ritu, with all her idealism and principles could not ome in terms with the pain of staying in that broken relationship - so she had to decide to come out of it. It was tough as this time the girl in her just couldnt take it anymore. She started losing faith on "love", on "relationship" on "God" on everything that she always believed in. Taking a job in Europe she fled the situation there but she knew she could never flee from the memories...from the ghost of the past.
As she started preparing the chicken and warming up the cold rice in the freezer...the ghosts of the past started dancing all around her. She tried to fight them but she was too weak to do so... she wanted to run away, but she didnt know where to. She knew she had to fight and win them over but the girl within had no energy left in her to do so... and thats when she hoped and prayed that some miracle would happen...
Who is this Ritu? ANd why am I blogging about her? I dont know Ritu, but I know that we all can relate to Ritu at some point of our life. When we believe in something very strongly and that belief breaks, we understand Ritu's pain. So Ritu is in each one of us... And miracle? Does miracle happen?
Am at such a crossroad of my life where am yet to see whether miracle happens or not, when you desperately want them to happen. As for Ritu... I wish her all the best. May God send His angels to help Ritu out.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Flowers and Chocolates
Flowers and Chocolates... why am I talking about them? Well, thats because they are the most common genre of gifts in love. If you are a girl, you loving getting them; if you are a boy, you love gifting them ( I would like to - and this is probably going on from the time immortal (well chocolates definitely have been added in the upgraded version once chocolates came into existance, but flower am sure is going on for centuries.
So whats the big deal? They are not these rare commodities that you just cannot afford to have them unles some one gifts you in love. But even then, the pleasue of getting a bunch of roses or a box of chocolate from your man is a pleasure of a different genre altogether - figures of speech fail to describe such a pleasure.
Ever since i was sweet sixteen, I dreamt of getting flowers and chocolates from my dream man! Dream man kept changing, but flowers and chocolates were always constant. They were always in my "wish list". Long time back there was an ad on TV of Thums Up featuring Salman Khan as a naval officer surprising his girl friend with a flower bouquet... I think thats when I strated dreaming about flowers... and then there was another ad on TV of Amul Chocolate and one of the version was about love... how idiot box makes us idiot...
My "teenage-ism" is still at its peak, though am more than double the age of sweet sixteen now... i still dream of flowers and chocolates... with my increasing waist line and grey hair (yes I saw my first grey hair a couple of days back) I still dream of getting a flower bouquet from someone special alongwith a box of chocolates... Any one listenning''
Another 7 years and my daughter will be sweet sixteen, and I want to pass pn my dreams to her. May she get flowers and chocolates from the man of her life... I dont know whether she will share her feelings with me then, but I sincerely hope that she does, as I want to re-live those dreams with her... let all my share of flowers and cholocates go to her... I pray and hope that her dreams get fulfilled...
As of my flowers, I still have not given up the hope
So whats the big deal? They are not these rare commodities that you just cannot afford to have them unles some one gifts you in love. But even then, the pleasue of getting a bunch of roses or a box of chocolate from your man is a pleasure of a different genre altogether - figures of speech fail to describe such a pleasure.
Ever since i was sweet sixteen, I dreamt of getting flowers and chocolates from my dream man! Dream man kept changing, but flowers and chocolates were always constant. They were always in my "wish list". Long time back there was an ad on TV of Thums Up featuring Salman Khan as a naval officer surprising his girl friend with a flower bouquet... I think thats when I strated dreaming about flowers... and then there was another ad on TV of Amul Chocolate and one of the version was about love... how idiot box makes us idiot...
My "teenage-ism" is still at its peak, though am more than double the age of sweet sixteen now... i still dream of flowers and chocolates... with my increasing waist line and grey hair (yes I saw my first grey hair a couple of days back) I still dream of getting a flower bouquet from someone special alongwith a box of chocolates... Any one listenning''
Another 7 years and my daughter will be sweet sixteen, and I want to pass pn my dreams to her. May she get flowers and chocolates from the man of her life... I dont know whether she will share her feelings with me then, but I sincerely hope that she does, as I want to re-live those dreams with her... let all my share of flowers and cholocates go to her... I pray and hope that her dreams get fulfilled...
As of my flowers, I still have not given up the hope
Saturday, October 17, 2009
Happy Diwali
Today, or rather tonight is Diwali - a festival of light, prosperity, joy and fun gallore. Somehow, ever since was a child, never really enjoyed this festival because of the crackers. Never really liked them, they make too much of sound. So every year during Diwali, I wished I was in a place which was more peaceful... and less of noise around.
My daughter loves to play with crackers and so does her father. Though its always fun to see her smiling face but honestly never really liked those hours of burning crackers...
So this time around, God granted me my wish - today being Diwali am away from those madenning sound of bursting crackers. Am in a place where there is peace every where. Deserted streets, freezing cold and no crackers at all. And my heart can go to any extent to see my daughter burning her crackers. Got a candle but forgot a lighter to lit it... ideally this should have been my best Diwali - exactly the way I wwant it to be... but feel like telling God, that I will never crib about sound... please let me never be away from my family on Diwali ever...
Happy Diwali to all....
My daughter loves to play with crackers and so does her father. Though its always fun to see her smiling face but honestly never really liked those hours of burning crackers...
So this time around, God granted me my wish - today being Diwali am away from those madenning sound of bursting crackers. Am in a place where there is peace every where. Deserted streets, freezing cold and no crackers at all. And my heart can go to any extent to see my daughter burning her crackers. Got a candle but forgot a lighter to lit it... ideally this should have been my best Diwali - exactly the way I wwant it to be... but feel like telling God, that I will never crib about sound... please let me never be away from my family on Diwali ever...
Happy Diwali to all....
Friday, October 16, 2009
Vienna Part - II
Am back in Vienna yet again. Had been here only 3 weeks back and even then this place seems so different. Summer is gone, and Vienna looks desserted. The same roads but devoid of colorful tourists. The same roadside food joints but all chairs withdrawn - so what you are left over with is empty footpath. The wind is chilly, the weather a bitch...and everybody seem so dull and devoid of any pleasure in life - and am no exception.
Well, the irony of fate is that, this time work pressure is much less - but I have no place to go. Because would prefer to be at home in this weather than venture out. Europe in mid-Oct is not a desirable time to be in. As I struggle everyday to commute to and fro office and fight my way against the strong south-westerly wind, I miss my home even more, and to think about it, tomorrow being Diwali - the festival of light - am here in this part of the world freezing to death twice every day. And they say winter has still not properly begun!!! Oh my my!!!
Well, the irony of fate is that, this time work pressure is much less - but I have no place to go. Because would prefer to be at home in this weather than venture out. Europe in mid-Oct is not a desirable time to be in. As I struggle everyday to commute to and fro office and fight my way against the strong south-westerly wind, I miss my home even more, and to think about it, tomorrow being Diwali - the festival of light - am here in this part of the world freezing to death twice every day. And they say winter has still not properly begun!!! Oh my my!!!
Thursday, September 17, 2009
I am not a Princess
I am not a fairy princess, I am not what you call fantastic.
I am not gonna wait for my prince, to come and rescue me from the ol' attic
The fairytale life isnt the life for me, just waiting and waiting for someone special
I am not any Cinderella, and for me there is no glass sandal.
I can chase my own monsters, I can dream my own dreams
May be i dont accomplish them, may be monsters make me scream
My knight in shinning armour, I will find one day for sure
Who loves me, who needs me, who wants me for my heart and soul.
Who makes me realize I am special, who makes me his life's goal
He who tells me I am unique, and isnt scared to SHOW that he loves me
He is the one who makes me a fairy princess, without him FAIRY PRINCESS, I could never be...
I am not gonna wait for my prince, to come and rescue me from the ol' attic
The fairytale life isnt the life for me, just waiting and waiting for someone special
I am not any Cinderella, and for me there is no glass sandal.
I can chase my own monsters, I can dream my own dreams
May be i dont accomplish them, may be monsters make me scream
My knight in shinning armour, I will find one day for sure
Who loves me, who needs me, who wants me for my heart and soul.
Who makes me realize I am special, who makes me his life's goal
He who tells me I am unique, and isnt scared to SHOW that he loves me
He is the one who makes me a fairy princess, without him FAIRY PRINCESS, I could never be...
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Wind Moves On
I could never think like poets, never had those imaginative powers. Could never compare myself with anything other than myself, always thought am unique then how can I say I am like this or like that? But now I want to be like a poet. Now I want to be like this, like that.
Its been precisely 26 days that am in Vienna now. And gone through many ups and downs, have seen many phases of life in this 26 days. Felt different emotions, experienced various new aspects of life. Have been lonely, happy, depressed, frustated, satisfied, escatic, playful, independent, and all sorts of possible (and impossible) permutations and combinations of all these emotions. And as I come out of this phase, all geared up to pack my bags and run towards the airport..."Homeward Bound..."I take some quiet moments out and look back to see what I have earned (apart from the extra bucks, ie) and what I have learned in this phase of mine.
Credits first: Gained immense confidence - yes I think that tops the chart as far as gain is concerned... walking on the roads of Vienna alone, I felt a sense of confidence and a little bit of pride (with all my modesty)... I never thought of myself as a career woman, never really chased it...but here I am, in one of the most beautiful cities of the owrld, all on our own for my office work! Everytime I felt this, I said a silent thank you to God.
A sense of financial security - yes that matters - I felt immensly secured when I shopped in one of the most expensive city of the world, and took a silent pledge that one day i will shop here again, without even looking at the price tags and skippinga heart bit! - I enjoyed immensely spending my hard earned money and even put some cents in donation boxes here!!! yooohooo!!!
Job Satisfaction - Yes, it gave me immense satisfaction taking up this challenge - it was a tough one and I had volunteered for it! - I completed it on time! I know its Him who helped me every time, but still cant ignore the satisfaction that am feeling...yes, I want to roll up my collar and move around with pride :-) of all modesty!!!
Now the debits list... the saddest saddity... but I believe that whatever we think is "not good" for us at the moment is just a bit behind in terms of bringing us the "good" associated with it - its just that we dont see them coming. So, the debits that I think are debits are carrying alongwith them some hidden treasures that I am yet to find out. This thought helps!
I went through a series of loneliness pangs - this helped me realise the pain of lonely people. Loneliness is indeed boring, and no happiness is complete without your loved ones.
Coming back to a lonely hotel room (no matter how luxurious it is) after a hard day's work is highly frustating. And during those hard times, "love" keeps you going. Yes, and that is my biggest loss and I am yet to find out the "hidden treasure" in it.
When you are fighting the whole world alone, all on your own, with all the ups and downs, triumphs and collapses... you need an emotional support... you need your loved one to stand by you, to understand you, and your pain. You need him to tell you that dont worry, am here with you. You need him to understand that if you are acting impossible now its because you are missing your loved ones greatly. You need his patience. ANd he promises you so. He realises what you need and promises you to provide you with that. You feel joy that you thought never even existed! You start feeling emotionally secured yet again... and then...
Then something happens, and you realise all those promises were not meant to be kept. you realise that forget providing you support with his understanding, he is not even sensitive enough to understand your innermost turmoils and he gives you much more that you can really bear...
Thats when I want to be a poet, and write a poetry that expresses what I am going thorugh at the moment. But I cannot...I am all blank now - thought would write a poem, ended up writing nothing... only one sentence keeps coming...Wish I could be WIND as wind moves on...
Its been precisely 26 days that am in Vienna now. And gone through many ups and downs, have seen many phases of life in this 26 days. Felt different emotions, experienced various new aspects of life. Have been lonely, happy, depressed, frustated, satisfied, escatic, playful, independent, and all sorts of possible (and impossible) permutations and combinations of all these emotions. And as I come out of this phase, all geared up to pack my bags and run towards the airport..."Homeward Bound..."I take some quiet moments out and look back to see what I have earned (apart from the extra bucks, ie) and what I have learned in this phase of mine.
Credits first: Gained immense confidence - yes I think that tops the chart as far as gain is concerned... walking on the roads of Vienna alone, I felt a sense of confidence and a little bit of pride (with all my modesty)... I never thought of myself as a career woman, never really chased it...but here I am, in one of the most beautiful cities of the owrld, all on our own for my office work! Everytime I felt this, I said a silent thank you to God.
A sense of financial security - yes that matters - I felt immensly secured when I shopped in one of the most expensive city of the world, and took a silent pledge that one day i will shop here again, without even looking at the price tags and skippinga heart bit! - I enjoyed immensely spending my hard earned money and even put some cents in donation boxes here!!! yooohooo!!!
Job Satisfaction - Yes, it gave me immense satisfaction taking up this challenge - it was a tough one and I had volunteered for it! - I completed it on time! I know its Him who helped me every time, but still cant ignore the satisfaction that am feeling...yes, I want to roll up my collar and move around with pride :-) of all modesty!!!
Now the debits list... the saddest saddity... but I believe that whatever we think is "not good" for us at the moment is just a bit behind in terms of bringing us the "good" associated with it - its just that we dont see them coming. So, the debits that I think are debits are carrying alongwith them some hidden treasures that I am yet to find out. This thought helps!
I went through a series of loneliness pangs - this helped me realise the pain of lonely people. Loneliness is indeed boring, and no happiness is complete without your loved ones.
Coming back to a lonely hotel room (no matter how luxurious it is) after a hard day's work is highly frustating. And during those hard times, "love" keeps you going. Yes, and that is my biggest loss and I am yet to find out the "hidden treasure" in it.
When you are fighting the whole world alone, all on your own, with all the ups and downs, triumphs and collapses... you need an emotional support... you need your loved one to stand by you, to understand you, and your pain. You need him to tell you that dont worry, am here with you. You need him to understand that if you are acting impossible now its because you are missing your loved ones greatly. You need his patience. ANd he promises you so. He realises what you need and promises you to provide you with that. You feel joy that you thought never even existed! You start feeling emotionally secured yet again... and then...
Then something happens, and you realise all those promises were not meant to be kept. you realise that forget providing you support with his understanding, he is not even sensitive enough to understand your innermost turmoils and he gives you much more that you can really bear...
Thats when I want to be a poet, and write a poetry that expresses what I am going thorugh at the moment. But I cannot...I am all blank now - thought would write a poem, ended up writing nothing... only one sentence keeps coming...Wish I could be WIND as wind moves on...
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
Awakenning of a Soul
Life, they say, is a school where we come to learn and grow. Over the last couple of years am readig quite a few interesting sutffs that suggest that we are immortal. We keep coming on this earth again and again to learn...learn form our mistakes and experiences in this world and grow richer and richer till we reach a stage where we can easily cross the karmic cycle. And then we reach a higher plane.
Hmmm, interesting thought...whether to believe or not to believe in this can be an interesting subject of debate and discussion. But that concept is interesting no doubt. I have live before and i will live after... Aditi Mitra, nee Sinha will die one day but I will be born again! Just as prior to Aditi Sinha, I have lived as X, or Y, or Z.
Aditi Sinha has a set of likes and dislikes. Aditi Sinha has her own set of opinions. But what if I had been something before that I hate now? Say, for eg, am a staunch Hindu and I hate Muslims... but what if I was a Muslim in my last birth? May be I hated Hindus then? Suppose a white today who follows racial discrimination will be bork as a dark skinned person in his next life... Interesting, isnt it? This concept lets us see a bigger picture...a picture much bigger than our narrow likes and dislikes. I am born and brought up in a particular way and so have my opinions formed - they are opinions of Aditi Sinha...not the soul in me - the soul in me loves all and hates none. Because it is very rich in experience which I am not even aware of. My ego doesnt affect it...it is above all this. It loves all... it has no hatred, no jealousy, no negative feelings at all - its knows these things are immortal. What is mortal and stay forever is Love...and only Love... by love you can conquer all...and by love you can reach Him...He, the superpower - I call him super dude at times, knows and teaches only Love...
All our souls follow similar knowledge pattern though the depth varies. I think of it as a structured syllabus. If you are in Std IV you have a certain depth of knowledge. Once you rise up the ladder your knowledge base increases. Our souls are at different stages of those knowledge base... now this knowledge has nothing to do with the earthly knowledge we acquire - I think this is more about Love, Compassion and all the good things we read about in books... any person close to God can never differentiate between a Muslim and a Hindu, a Maharastrian and a Punjabi, an European and an American. Yes, as an Indian we should love India, but that doesnot mean we should hate or dislike any other country. These boundaries are man-made...when we are born, we are born as a child of the God...in the process we become a child of a Hindu or a Muslim or a Christian God... In Vienna, I saw a crow, and thought how different it is from a crow in India? I could see no difference there - but an European is definitely "different" from an Indian... intelligence of Human beings have many adversities...no wonder, we say, ignorance is bliss.
I know i jump from one topic to another, but hey! thats ok...am not writing an essay here! Its what my heart feels and like me my heart also does not follow rules. So coming back to the original concept - that our soul is the same whether we are born as a Hindu or a Muslim, as a rich or a poor...we have lied it all over the years, and experienced it all... then why as Aditi I have a preference over A to B...I may have been both A and B and may have experienced both? If only we realize this...if only I can realize that if I dont like A because he irritates me, its just a personal opinion of Aditi...the bigger picture is that "I" am much more than Aditi and "I" should realize that A is just a fellow being of mine...he is also learing and growing just the same way as I am... This makes it so easy to overcome anger, hatred, jealousy and all such negativites! yahhhhooo! my soul is indeed awakenning.
So all my dear and "not so dear" fellow students who am not so very fond of... please forgive me for all the harsh words I might have told you and for all the things i might have done to hurt you. That was Aditi you see, she hates you for you have done x,y,z to her and she didnt like it. She is jealous of you for you have a,b,c and she doesnt... but thats her...I realize that i have nothing against you. So what if you have tried to harm me or hurt me...I forgive you. So what if you have cheated on me and taken me for a ride, I forgive you. So what if you have done all the things that you shouldnt have done to me, I forgive you. For, you are also learning in this process as much as I am. And when you have hurmed me and hurt me you didnt meet your soul til then...so I pray, and wish that you meet your soul soon...so that you also realize hurting me is not the "real" purpose of your life...you have a much bigger cause to overcome, so all the best buddy...
Ah! am feeling nice now...positivity helps you see...so as I bid good night to myslef, I wish all those for whom I had negative feelings in me, and very happy life with full of learning experiences... Sweet Dreams!
P.S : My soul needs to sleep and take rest as well, so tomorrow I may come back to hating you from the core of my heart for trying to mess up with me, atleast till the time my soul awakens again. Till then, enjoy my wishes!
Hmmm, interesting thought...whether to believe or not to believe in this can be an interesting subject of debate and discussion. But that concept is interesting no doubt. I have live before and i will live after... Aditi Mitra, nee Sinha will die one day but I will be born again! Just as prior to Aditi Sinha, I have lived as X, or Y, or Z.
Aditi Sinha has a set of likes and dislikes. Aditi Sinha has her own set of opinions. But what if I had been something before that I hate now? Say, for eg, am a staunch Hindu and I hate Muslims... but what if I was a Muslim in my last birth? May be I hated Hindus then? Suppose a white today who follows racial discrimination will be bork as a dark skinned person in his next life... Interesting, isnt it? This concept lets us see a bigger picture...a picture much bigger than our narrow likes and dislikes. I am born and brought up in a particular way and so have my opinions formed - they are opinions of Aditi Sinha...not the soul in me - the soul in me loves all and hates none. Because it is very rich in experience which I am not even aware of. My ego doesnt affect it...it is above all this. It loves all... it has no hatred, no jealousy, no negative feelings at all - its knows these things are immortal. What is mortal and stay forever is Love...and only Love... by love you can conquer all...and by love you can reach Him...He, the superpower - I call him super dude at times, knows and teaches only Love...
All our souls follow similar knowledge pattern though the depth varies. I think of it as a structured syllabus. If you are in Std IV you have a certain depth of knowledge. Once you rise up the ladder your knowledge base increases. Our souls are at different stages of those knowledge base... now this knowledge has nothing to do with the earthly knowledge we acquire - I think this is more about Love, Compassion and all the good things we read about in books... any person close to God can never differentiate between a Muslim and a Hindu, a Maharastrian and a Punjabi, an European and an American. Yes, as an Indian we should love India, but that doesnot mean we should hate or dislike any other country. These boundaries are man-made...when we are born, we are born as a child of the God...in the process we become a child of a Hindu or a Muslim or a Christian God... In Vienna, I saw a crow, and thought how different it is from a crow in India? I could see no difference there - but an European is definitely "different" from an Indian... intelligence of Human beings have many adversities...no wonder, we say, ignorance is bliss.
I know i jump from one topic to another, but hey! thats ok...am not writing an essay here! Its what my heart feels and like me my heart also does not follow rules. So coming back to the original concept - that our soul is the same whether we are born as a Hindu or a Muslim, as a rich or a poor...we have lied it all over the years, and experienced it all... then why as Aditi I have a preference over A to B...I may have been both A and B and may have experienced both? If only we realize this...if only I can realize that if I dont like A because he irritates me, its just a personal opinion of Aditi...the bigger picture is that "I" am much more than Aditi and "I" should realize that A is just a fellow being of mine...he is also learing and growing just the same way as I am... This makes it so easy to overcome anger, hatred, jealousy and all such negativites! yahhhhooo! my soul is indeed awakenning.
So all my dear and "not so dear" fellow students who am not so very fond of... please forgive me for all the harsh words I might have told you and for all the things i might have done to hurt you. That was Aditi you see, she hates you for you have done x,y,z to her and she didnt like it. She is jealous of you for you have a,b,c and she doesnt... but thats her...I realize that i have nothing against you. So what if you have tried to harm me or hurt me...I forgive you. So what if you have cheated on me and taken me for a ride, I forgive you. So what if you have done all the things that you shouldnt have done to me, I forgive you. For, you are also learning in this process as much as I am. And when you have hurmed me and hurt me you didnt meet your soul til then...so I pray, and wish that you meet your soul soon...so that you also realize hurting me is not the "real" purpose of your life...you have a much bigger cause to overcome, so all the best buddy...
Ah! am feeling nice now...positivity helps you see...so as I bid good night to myslef, I wish all those for whom I had negative feelings in me, and very happy life with full of learning experiences... Sweet Dreams!
P.S : My soul needs to sleep and take rest as well, so tomorrow I may come back to hating you from the core of my heart for trying to mess up with me, atleast till the time my soul awakens again. Till then, enjoy my wishes!
Sunday, September 13, 2009
Hypocricy!
I am a hypocrit! Yes I am. otherwise how do you explain my blog on this topic? The fact that am writing about it so late proves that i am a hypocrite...
Or may be am not. May be I was just trying to run away from the idea of facing it. When I was a kid, i used to play a very stupid game. I would close one eye and with my hand up i would blot the sun...n I used to think that I could cover up the sun with my hands! This i think, has remained with me. Things I dont want to face, I cover them by actually deciding not to think about them at all - but they exist dont they? I just choose to ignore...
I hate shallow people, people without depth, meaning and purpose in life. I feel their heart is nothing more than a pumping machine and they prefer it that way. Their superficiality amazes me...stupid cliched' talks, unimaginative and predictable approach towards life... they are like these species whose only aim in this life is to exist...not live, but exist...these are the people without feelings and humanity, without love and care.
But they know all about "putting up a show". Thats precisely why you will see them show a completely different picture of themselves to the whole world, which is why it is very difficult to recognise them in the first place. Like they may be having a 101 affairs outside their marriage, but behave so abnomally perfectly with thier spouse that probably that poor soul will never be able to even make out whats going on behind his/her back! Like they may be having a world war scene at home every day, but while out in their "society" they would behave like this perfect "couple" you would wish to be like!
They are everywhere around us - fake people...in your office, in your neighbourhood, everywhere, whether you know them or not, they exist. They exist in every form and shape. Now they are not at all the stereotype villains! Oh no they are not...they are the so called good examples of our society... successful, polish, well mannered and to top it all well-educated. The degrees that they are porud of, the achievements they can boast of --- and underneath all those socially admirable layers?... a shallow person!
He can be your boss whom there are so many people admiring or looking upto. He is successful no doubt, he is efficient no doubt...but he may be faking his emotions or cheating on his wife - you wouldnt just get the slightest hint of it. He can be your husband whom you just adore...think he loves you so much as he never forgets to get you flowers on your birthday and never does anything wrong to offend you. But you will prbably never get to know that all those flowers were brought to you to divert your attention from something that he doesnt want you to know.
Just remembered a story which you all know - we have heard it so many times when we were kids and tld this to all kids we ever interacted with who kept on demanding stories from us--- it goes on like this -
A king once met a monkey who wanted to be the king's body guard. The king agreed and gave him a sword. One day when the king was sleeping and the monkey was sitting besides him protecting him, he saw a bee on the king's nose. The monkey put the sword right though, and cut off the king's nose...and there was the king without a nose.
The moral of the story is --- a monkey will always remain a monkey, a betrayer will always reamin a betrayer. A monkey cannot be a savior with a sword and a betrayer cannot be your "well-wisher" with your love.
Its on us to realize this and not expect a monkey to protect us or a betrayer to love us, right?...So we all are hypocrites...we know this story, we know the lesson, but we block ourselves from the truth...just as a kid I would block the sun by closing eyes... so then who is a hypocrite? I... I am the biggest ever hypocrite who thinks a monkey can be a savior, only if you give him 1 last chance...
Or may be am not. May be I was just trying to run away from the idea of facing it. When I was a kid, i used to play a very stupid game. I would close one eye and with my hand up i would blot the sun...n I used to think that I could cover up the sun with my hands! This i think, has remained with me. Things I dont want to face, I cover them by actually deciding not to think about them at all - but they exist dont they? I just choose to ignore...
I hate shallow people, people without depth, meaning and purpose in life. I feel their heart is nothing more than a pumping machine and they prefer it that way. Their superficiality amazes me...stupid cliched' talks, unimaginative and predictable approach towards life... they are like these species whose only aim in this life is to exist...not live, but exist...these are the people without feelings and humanity, without love and care.
But they know all about "putting up a show". Thats precisely why you will see them show a completely different picture of themselves to the whole world, which is why it is very difficult to recognise them in the first place. Like they may be having a 101 affairs outside their marriage, but behave so abnomally perfectly with thier spouse that probably that poor soul will never be able to even make out whats going on behind his/her back! Like they may be having a world war scene at home every day, but while out in their "society" they would behave like this perfect "couple" you would wish to be like!
They are everywhere around us - fake people...in your office, in your neighbourhood, everywhere, whether you know them or not, they exist. They exist in every form and shape. Now they are not at all the stereotype villains! Oh no they are not...they are the so called good examples of our society... successful, polish, well mannered and to top it all well-educated. The degrees that they are porud of, the achievements they can boast of --- and underneath all those socially admirable layers?... a shallow person!
He can be your boss whom there are so many people admiring or looking upto. He is successful no doubt, he is efficient no doubt...but he may be faking his emotions or cheating on his wife - you wouldnt just get the slightest hint of it. He can be your husband whom you just adore...think he loves you so much as he never forgets to get you flowers on your birthday and never does anything wrong to offend you. But you will prbably never get to know that all those flowers were brought to you to divert your attention from something that he doesnt want you to know.
Just remembered a story which you all know - we have heard it so many times when we were kids and tld this to all kids we ever interacted with who kept on demanding stories from us--- it goes on like this -
A king once met a monkey who wanted to be the king's body guard. The king agreed and gave him a sword. One day when the king was sleeping and the monkey was sitting besides him protecting him, he saw a bee on the king's nose. The monkey put the sword right though, and cut off the king's nose...and there was the king without a nose.
The moral of the story is --- a monkey will always remain a monkey, a betrayer will always reamin a betrayer. A monkey cannot be a savior with a sword and a betrayer cannot be your "well-wisher" with your love.
Its on us to realize this and not expect a monkey to protect us or a betrayer to love us, right?...So we all are hypocrites...we know this story, we know the lesson, but we block ourselves from the truth...just as a kid I would block the sun by closing eyes... so then who is a hypocrite? I... I am the biggest ever hypocrite who thinks a monkey can be a savior, only if you give him 1 last chance...
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Happy Birthday
13th Sept is the birthday of a very special person. I cant say a very special person of my life as i have never met him in "my" life, but there are some people with whom our relationship knows no boundaries...and stetches beyond lifetimes. I think we share a similar relationship. If only he was on this plane, I would have definitely met him after I knew of him, but he is on a different plane altogether. And no matter on which plane is he now, I know my wishes are getting conveyed to him.
So, I want to wish him a very happy birthday. May he have a rollicking time today...do all that he wants to... am not too sure what his likes are...but whatever they may be...wish him loads and loads of those. Its time I go to sleep, actually its high time if you please, for for the last 2-3 days hardly sleeping 4-5 hours a day! But I cant sllep now... not before planning his birthday party for him...
So here you go... we will go to the place of your choice to have breakfast, the first thing in the morning...well, I dont know actually what your favorite breakfast joint is, or what you really like to have...but somehow I am feeling like having jalebi...so if it is your favorite as well, then can we go and have them please?...ok so done then...we all will go for a breakfast...a heavy satisfying one...with loads of unhealthy stuffs! Come on, its your birthday, and you are in the pink of your health...if anybody desagrees, we will manao them ok? This one day atleast we will do what you like, and somehow I feel you would like a complete unhealthy breakfast comprising may be, poori, sabzi and loads of ghee and milk? n ofcourse, jalebi to end it with.
Then we will go out for a nice walk... at a place where you always went - I didnt know it then, but I know it now...will ask your love to accompany as well...she will...so what if she is busy preparing a nice lunch for you. Am sure she can make out time and she will...happy now? So will go for a walk...and it will do you a lot of good after that heavy breakfast... on our way back, we will go to that Gurudwara... u know i love going there for that awsome besan ke laddu that they give as "prasad" ...we will have the prasad and then come back home. Then will wait for that special lunch that is being made on your honor...I will also help others in preparing the dishes...dont warry baba, I will not mess it up...will be very vry careful...and when your wife is supervising and guiding me, how can i ever go wrong?
Aha, then will have lunch...the elaborate one with all your favorite dishes! You will love it, wont you? And then we all will sit together and have a wonderful "adda"... will talk about your favorite things... you will tell us about your childhood and how your birthdays used to be... we all will listen to your rich and wonderful experiences.... time will jus flow by...
In the evening I am thinking of having some guests over, but dont know why I feel you would like to be just the few of us...you want to srink tonight dont you? I did hear you had stopped drinking but then you did drink once or twice after that didnt you? On rare special occassions? happy eventful occassions? Come on, today is a happy occassion as well and evenful for me as I am spending your birthday for the first time with you! And somehow I feel you will want to have a couple of drink tonight...go on, I will not scold you for them...Are you enjoying it? Are you enjoying your birthday?
Wherever you are... I want this day to be very very happy for you... may not be the way I conceived it...but that doesnt matte...if my soul knows yours i know you would like to spend this day the way i conceived it... or may be an entirely different way... dont know --- all I know is that its your birthday, and you should be happy...
Happy Birthday...dadaji...and have a great day!
So, I want to wish him a very happy birthday. May he have a rollicking time today...do all that he wants to... am not too sure what his likes are...but whatever they may be...wish him loads and loads of those. Its time I go to sleep, actually its high time if you please, for for the last 2-3 days hardly sleeping 4-5 hours a day! But I cant sllep now... not before planning his birthday party for him...
So here you go... we will go to the place of your choice to have breakfast, the first thing in the morning...well, I dont know actually what your favorite breakfast joint is, or what you really like to have...but somehow I am feeling like having jalebi...so if it is your favorite as well, then can we go and have them please?...ok so done then...we all will go for a breakfast...a heavy satisfying one...with loads of unhealthy stuffs! Come on, its your birthday, and you are in the pink of your health...if anybody desagrees, we will manao them ok? This one day atleast we will do what you like, and somehow I feel you would like a complete unhealthy breakfast comprising may be, poori, sabzi and loads of ghee and milk? n ofcourse, jalebi to end it with.
Then we will go out for a nice walk... at a place where you always went - I didnt know it then, but I know it now...will ask your love to accompany as well...she will...so what if she is busy preparing a nice lunch for you. Am sure she can make out time and she will...happy now? So will go for a walk...and it will do you a lot of good after that heavy breakfast... on our way back, we will go to that Gurudwara... u know i love going there for that awsome besan ke laddu that they give as "prasad" ...we will have the prasad and then come back home. Then will wait for that special lunch that is being made on your honor...I will also help others in preparing the dishes...dont warry baba, I will not mess it up...will be very vry careful...and when your wife is supervising and guiding me, how can i ever go wrong?
Aha, then will have lunch...the elaborate one with all your favorite dishes! You will love it, wont you? And then we all will sit together and have a wonderful "adda"... will talk about your favorite things... you will tell us about your childhood and how your birthdays used to be... we all will listen to your rich and wonderful experiences.... time will jus flow by...
In the evening I am thinking of having some guests over, but dont know why I feel you would like to be just the few of us...you want to srink tonight dont you? I did hear you had stopped drinking but then you did drink once or twice after that didnt you? On rare special occassions? happy eventful occassions? Come on, today is a happy occassion as well and evenful for me as I am spending your birthday for the first time with you! And somehow I feel you will want to have a couple of drink tonight...go on, I will not scold you for them...Are you enjoying it? Are you enjoying your birthday?
Wherever you are... I want this day to be very very happy for you... may not be the way I conceived it...but that doesnt matte...if my soul knows yours i know you would like to spend this day the way i conceived it... or may be an entirely different way... dont know --- all I know is that its your birthday, and you should be happy...
Happy Birthday...dadaji...and have a great day!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Am I having Fun?
Ever since I have landed in Vienna, all my friends are asking me religiously and i am sick and tired of being asked if I'm having fun, and I want to address this question for once and for all : No, I am not having "fun". I have never intended to have "any" in my life so far, and wish to not have it anytime in the near future, whether in Vienna, or Varanasi. I am quite happy to be "happy", or may be at times joyful, but no thanks! fun, I have no intention to have.
CAll me irritably "old-fashioned" or reasonably repressed, or just a plain old bore without bothering much about rhetoric, but I can never get my mind around how activities usually labelled "fun" can actually be "funny" or at most "pleasurable". My colleagues here prod me almost every evening to "come out with us ahd have some fun!" events which are nothing but pubbing followed by some more pubbing and then... pubbing again! And I dont find anything "fun" in there. If you honestly ask me, which i realize you dont, but nevertheless, "having fun" seems like an aggressive advertisement of one's money power to attain privilege of sharing an illusion of a good time, and pretention of having "fun". YOu may call me judgemental but I think thats just an escapist's way to bury his head deeper into the waves of denial about the overstressed and messy life that he is possibly leading.
What puts me "off" fun?,,,ummmn, let me think...aggressionand loudness puts me off fun. ummnn, and a certain level of herd mentality as well. add to it the extremely boring predictability. yes, i think that completes the list..more or less. For me fun is more about being happy...and happiness cannot be grasped merely by "hanging" out at all "happenning" places. If you ask me, which I know you dont, but nevertheless, I am deeply suspicious of any mass-prescribed recipe for "fun", from alcohol to spas. Here, being in Vienna, am getting a sense of lost identity as the only "fun" seems to be in pubbing pubbing and more pubbing.
As I spend my day here, I realize happiness is with your loved ones - otherwise how do you define me not having chocolates and pastries being in the land of them? how do you define me hardly sleeping 5-6 hours a day and not even feeling bad about it. how do you define me being hooked onto the net almost 24hours a day!!! (incase you dont know...i hate being online all the time)... fun is not about "things" it is about "people" and it took me to travel this far to realize this. The things that actually would hv given me fun...I dont even feel like doing them here, as there is not my loved ones to share those "fun" moments with... fun is not "pubbing" fun is about being with your loved ones.
I miss the stupid serials my daughter watches. I miss preparing her breakfast at 5 in the morning, I miss driving through the congested Kolkata traffic, I miss signing her HW Diary... I miss those "fun"... and here, if you think am having fun, then let me tell you for once and for all... no I am not having fun, and neither do I intend do.... the only fun for me here, if at all, is counting days to go back where I left my heart before coming here
Miss you
CAll me irritably "old-fashioned" or reasonably repressed, or just a plain old bore without bothering much about rhetoric, but I can never get my mind around how activities usually labelled "fun" can actually be "funny" or at most "pleasurable". My colleagues here prod me almost every evening to "come out with us ahd have some fun!" events which are nothing but pubbing followed by some more pubbing and then... pubbing again! And I dont find anything "fun" in there. If you honestly ask me, which i realize you dont, but nevertheless, "having fun" seems like an aggressive advertisement of one's money power to attain privilege of sharing an illusion of a good time, and pretention of having "fun". YOu may call me judgemental but I think thats just an escapist's way to bury his head deeper into the waves of denial about the overstressed and messy life that he is possibly leading.
What puts me "off" fun?,,,ummmn, let me think...aggressionand loudness puts me off fun. ummnn, and a certain level of herd mentality as well. add to it the extremely boring predictability. yes, i think that completes the list..more or less. For me fun is more about being happy...and happiness cannot be grasped merely by "hanging" out at all "happenning" places. If you ask me, which I know you dont, but nevertheless, I am deeply suspicious of any mass-prescribed recipe for "fun", from alcohol to spas. Here, being in Vienna, am getting a sense of lost identity as the only "fun" seems to be in pubbing pubbing and more pubbing.
As I spend my day here, I realize happiness is with your loved ones - otherwise how do you define me not having chocolates and pastries being in the land of them? how do you define me hardly sleeping 5-6 hours a day and not even feeling bad about it. how do you define me being hooked onto the net almost 24hours a day!!! (incase you dont know...i hate being online all the time)... fun is not about "things" it is about "people" and it took me to travel this far to realize this. The things that actually would hv given me fun...I dont even feel like doing them here, as there is not my loved ones to share those "fun" moments with... fun is not "pubbing" fun is about being with your loved ones.
I miss the stupid serials my daughter watches. I miss preparing her breakfast at 5 in the morning, I miss driving through the congested Kolkata traffic, I miss signing her HW Diary... I miss those "fun"... and here, if you think am having fun, then let me tell you for once and for all... no I am not having fun, and neither do I intend do.... the only fun for me here, if at all, is counting days to go back where I left my heart before coming here
Miss you
What a day it was!!!
Some days openly throw a challenge on you at times! When nothing goes right in your day from the time you brush your teeth till the time you put on your night robe and off to sleep - sometimes it continues even in your dreams! yesterday was one such day for me! Absolute craziness. I woke up and after sometime saw the network connection not working. With pressure mounting at workplace, like a dedicated soldier of my organization was trying to wr=ork from the hotel as early as 6 in the morning, but no! the network didnt just let me! A victim of technology, got ready early, grabbed a breakfast and ran to the office to resume work. it took me atleast 25 mins to find a meeting room to sit (about this will blog some other time) and other 13 minutes to get connected to network! Network problem yet again... in the heart of Vienna, in the office of THE IBM!!! i just couldnot get a wifi connection to start working! - Such was the beginning of the day.
THe middle of the day was worse...there was escalations to be taken care of, further escalations of escalation to be made, cardds to be played well... in short a crazy circus was going on where i felt trapped like the pigeons they have in the cage! waiting for my turn to put up my act...
Just to make matters worse, we started encountering defects which we never thought existed. We are testing a project which is to go live in November...we are trying to close some interfaces by 18th beyond which partners are not available and to extend their availability we have to pay them $20K per week! And it seemed some horrible force was making it its business that we pay that money as nothing seemed to go right... in short, we were getting screwed and i was getting more and more stressed up. By evening 5pm, I lost my cool and realized I just could take this no further!
And as if God heard me say that, he sent an angel... over the next 2-3 hours things started falling into the right places...atleast miraculously solutions were getting provided by some unknown force through someone or the other. First was my project manager, Kathy...now she is one woman I started respecting immensely...she came up to my rescue - arranged help, and what i liked the most is that she was continuously with me, guiding me as if I was her only concern that moment, and she had nothing else to do! God bless her. Yes, i slogged, i missed a party at 7 with all my colleagues that was pre-planned, I was tired, exhausted, hungry and everything you can imagine. But when I left office at half past 8, I felt an immense satisfaction... i felt protected, I felt secured, i felt pampered as well! I realized He up there really cares for me. As if it was His business to see my problems are resolved - and not through a miracle - but through my sheer determination and hardwork. I know He did it, but He made it look like I have done it! He made it look so special for me, so satisfying for me. he gave me a problem, psyched me up about it, then silently provided me with a handy solution and helping me through people like Kathey and kerry and made me a heroine in the eyes of others and my own self! He organized the whole show, and proudly watched me from above, giving me cues and ensuring that i successfully play my role and emerge a winner!
After coming back to hotel, relaxing for a moment when I opened my inbox - I saw solutions to the still remaining problem in there! can you believe it! And it was not readymade solutions mind you, that would not have given me half the satisfaction I am having now - it was cues - cues that i had to take forward to, and i did! I solved the remaining problms and at around 11pm, when I swtiched of my comp after a gruelling 15 hrs work! I felt a sense of satisfaction which I could never have felt if I had a very good day without any challenge.
Thank You God, for giving me this opportunity to feel special in my eyes and others. Every appreciation mail that was pouring in...reminded me of you. Thank you for showing the humane side in a cut throat competitive corporate world. Thank you for Kathie. And thank you for restrengthening by belief that You never give anything that we cannot handle! And you ensure that we handle days like these well!
Today as i write this, I am all charged up to face another day at office and anxious to see the results of my hard work last night... Thank You once again.
THe middle of the day was worse...there was escalations to be taken care of, further escalations of escalation to be made, cardds to be played well... in short a crazy circus was going on where i felt trapped like the pigeons they have in the cage! waiting for my turn to put up my act...
Just to make matters worse, we started encountering defects which we never thought existed. We are testing a project which is to go live in November...we are trying to close some interfaces by 18th beyond which partners are not available and to extend their availability we have to pay them $20K per week! And it seemed some horrible force was making it its business that we pay that money as nothing seemed to go right... in short, we were getting screwed and i was getting more and more stressed up. By evening 5pm, I lost my cool and realized I just could take this no further!
And as if God heard me say that, he sent an angel... over the next 2-3 hours things started falling into the right places...atleast miraculously solutions were getting provided by some unknown force through someone or the other. First was my project manager, Kathy...now she is one woman I started respecting immensely...she came up to my rescue - arranged help, and what i liked the most is that she was continuously with me, guiding me as if I was her only concern that moment, and she had nothing else to do! God bless her. Yes, i slogged, i missed a party at 7 with all my colleagues that was pre-planned, I was tired, exhausted, hungry and everything you can imagine. But when I left office at half past 8, I felt an immense satisfaction... i felt protected, I felt secured, i felt pampered as well! I realized He up there really cares for me. As if it was His business to see my problems are resolved - and not through a miracle - but through my sheer determination and hardwork. I know He did it, but He made it look like I have done it! He made it look so special for me, so satisfying for me. he gave me a problem, psyched me up about it, then silently provided me with a handy solution and helping me through people like Kathey and kerry and made me a heroine in the eyes of others and my own self! He organized the whole show, and proudly watched me from above, giving me cues and ensuring that i successfully play my role and emerge a winner!
After coming back to hotel, relaxing for a moment when I opened my inbox - I saw solutions to the still remaining problem in there! can you believe it! And it was not readymade solutions mind you, that would not have given me half the satisfaction I am having now - it was cues - cues that i had to take forward to, and i did! I solved the remaining problms and at around 11pm, when I swtiched of my comp after a gruelling 15 hrs work! I felt a sense of satisfaction which I could never have felt if I had a very good day without any challenge.
Thank You God, for giving me this opportunity to feel special in my eyes and others. Every appreciation mail that was pouring in...reminded me of you. Thank you for showing the humane side in a cut throat competitive corporate world. Thank you for Kathie. And thank you for restrengthening by belief that You never give anything that we cannot handle! And you ensure that we handle days like these well!
Today as i write this, I am all charged up to face another day at office and anxious to see the results of my hard work last night... Thank You once again.
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Knowledge Management
Knowledge Management seems to be the hottest subject now a days. I am reading too many articles on this and the more I read, the more I get confused. But since this IS the most important topic these days, I thought of gaining some insight into this. My first attempt was to develop some perspective regarding this stuff called KNOWLEDGE which certainly has become a desirable object to be managed. I had read somewhere, though knowing me you would simply accept the fact that I dont remember where, that
- A collection of data is not information
- A collection of information is not knowledge
- A collection of knowledge is not wisdom
- A collection of wisdom is not truth.
What I could understand with my challenged IQ is that information, knowledge, wisdom and truth are more than simply collections of data. Collection of data is important, but not the most important activity in the making up of information, knowledge, wisdom and/or truth.
Now moving onto Knowledge management, I realized that probably Knowledge management would be hard to define precisely and crisply. The KM gurus and experts of the industry have defined KM in a varied no. of ways. Thats not surprising. Its like, how would a VP HR define "Staffing Management", or rather is there a unique definition of "Staffing Management"? Or "Compensation Management"? Each of these domains is complex with many branches of specialization. Similarly I believe Knowledge Management is also a hell of a complex domain, which we complicate even more while attempting to simplify it. Knowledge management is managing knowledge, and when there is no simple definition of knowledge in the first place, how can we even think of simplifying the definition of Knowledge Management?!
There are many thoughful and thought provoking definition of knowledge. And there are some good specifications and types mentioned as well. Say, for eg, Explicit Knowledge and Tacit Knowledge. Now KM Gurus can write epic on each of these, but given my challenged brain (which is more challenged these days for a no. of imp and unimp reasons), I would simply refer to them as formal and informal knowledge respectively, without going into further details. Explicit or formal knowledge is something that can be articulated, transmitted and presented amongst individuals with different relevant references. On the other hand tacit or informal knowledge is basically personal and is rooted in individula beliefs, valus and perspective. They may or may not have valid references.
Before the evolution of Knowledge Management in such an organised way, as it is presently being done, the perceptions of the role of knowledge in business was that tacit knowledge was more often viewed as the real key to getting things done. Thus we often experience that conservative organizations lay more emphasis on the "learning organization" and other approaches that stress internalization of information (through experience and action) and generation of new knowledge through managed interaction. With the market place becoming more competitive than ever, reductions in staffing, time crisis, eraly retirements and increasing mobility of the work force, changes in strategic directions etc lead to loss of knowledge these days. Hence over the past decade or so, we felt an enormous ggrowth in the direction of knowledge management. Tacit knwledge solwly started getting replaced by explicit knowledge . In short, knowledge and information have become the medium in which business problems occur more. And hence the need for KNOWLEDGE MANAGEMENT.
Neoclassical Economists have also equated knowledge to a product with codified knowledge or information. Earlier, knowledge, perhaps due to its non-linear nature, has played only a minor role and has been treated as a distraction in traditional economic models. However, Austrian School Of Economics has taken a deep interest in building substantial theories towards explaining the important role of knowledge in economic life. Prof Fredrich Von Hayek observes, as early as in 1945, that for the realization of equilibrium as conceptualized in the orthodox economic theories, there must be a conicidence of the objective real facts of the economy and subjective knowledge of human subjects.
Knowledge based economy or knowledge economy mark the beginning of "new economic era". These neo economists subtly began suggesting that the missing link related to success in strategic decision making is one's hidden or tacit knowledge! Many economists gradullay began to draw a parallel between The Theory of the Firm and knowledge-based perspectives. The scholars of the knowledge based view tend to "agree" that the link between asset specificity and boundary choice has little to do with oppurtunistic behavior or failed markets. In contrast to classical economic theories, the knowledge-based view regards the specificity of assets and skills as critical to the firm;s performance.
Once economics accepted the value of knowledge in the growth of the society, how can managing knowledge be left behind the scope of performance and betterment? Kowledge was slowly gaining moreimportance than before and in 1992 some of the neo-classical economists built an arguement against the Transaction Cost View, claiming that the relative advantages of the organizations arise from the superior abilities in both creating and exploiting knowledge. In 1996, C.K.Prahalad further stressed the fact that Knowledge is "independent" from the transaction economy's opportunistic considerations. ...and the list just goes on and on.
So, the acceptance of Knowledge into the "economics" has made it an object of "management" - how "money-minded" we human beings are! :-)
Being a sutdent of economics, I could contribute this much to this "hot topic" of the season! Rest, if you are still interested about Knowledge Management - please refer to hosts of blogs and wikis on this topic...all the best!
Friday, September 4, 2009
Missing the radio of my car
Am missing my car...and particularly the radio in it - for it is undobtedly my best friend and gives me good company for minimum 2 hours everyday, 5 days a week, unless Mamata didi calls a bandh in Kolkata. I love music - the listenning side of it. Well, I also love singing but my neighbours dont entertain me, so I have restricted myself to the listenning part of it. The radio of my car is my only mode of listenning to music - yes, actually listenning to music is banned at my place - there is (un)fortunately only one home theatre system and the TV as well as Cd/dvd player and/or radio plays through that same god damn it set ( i think they call it a receiver or something like that). And that is co-owned by my daughter and her father. And they have banned all forms of only audible recreations at home .Its strictly audio-visual...and visual also is decided by them most of the time (well, I think all the time). So I am not privileged enough to listen to music at home.
I dont repent. Because my Radio takes care of this passion of music. And provides me with a great sense of achievment as well. You see, when you get something after a strenuous effort, the pleasure is always more. Likewise, when I want to listen to the music I turn the knob of my radio and it croaks out music at a pitch of its choice depending on which direction is my car moving and/or the antaenna is pointing to...and that too not instantly as i turn the knob on. Many days it takes about 2-4 minutes to get started. Out of frustation often I whack it on its head and he promptly obliges me. And then after almost 5-10 mintues of ruthna - manana my radio sings out - the satisfaction that it gives me cannot be compared with the best of music systems in the world.
My radio has a mind of its own. He decides for me which station he wants me to listen to. I am not sure about whether it has any secret tie-ups with any of these stations, or whether is it a free lance thing - but whatever it is the geast of the matter is that it decides - I dont mind because for me getting to hear whatever channel he pleases itself is a luxury beyond my dream. This absolute daily pleasure is something that i am missing here very much.
The home theatre reminds me of the complexity of life now a days. And I thought science and technology makes your life easier. Life is not at all simple with these hi-fi gadjets these days. Take the equipment called "receiver" itself. If you have a lot of audio/video players and you want them to learn sharing and caring and thus buy in the equipment called "receiver" so that they all share the same speakers, then you need a Receiver. In other words, a Receiver is a piece of equipment which accepts input from several audio/video sources and outputs nothing. It is an entertainment device though most of the entertainment is ruined while setting and conncting it up.
My daughter is better of with all these gadjets than me. I remember once I was in a guest house in Delhi and the room had a TV and a music system and had 3 remotes and some peculiar combination of switching them on in order to be able to watch TV or listen to music. It had taken me half an hour to figure out the i was holding the remotes upside down. Not that it made any sense to me the right side up, and not that I could succeed in switching the TV on. It so happened that I had stayed there for a month and every day after coming back from office I would call up room service to switch on my TV and would keep it on till the next day till the time I left for office. So you see, life is not at all simple with all these inventions. I never had any problem with the first black n white TV we had at home when I was a kid. I could easily switch it on and roll the know to get the two and a half channels that it aired! Now with 250 + channels I get thoroughly confused with TV.
So you see, what i was saying is that I miss my radio. N now am in a room all alone by myself. It has a huge tv set and fortunately only one remote to operate it. All my hurdles are overcome. No body can disturb me listenning to music and watching television...but alas, even then am unable to watch or listen...you wonder why? Because there is hardly any English channel out here, forget my good old Hindi channels...its only local channels - and I ahve no clue what they talk about.
So...am missing my radio and am missing my car...one more reason why am counting my days to go back...as if I didnt have enough!
I dont repent. Because my Radio takes care of this passion of music. And provides me with a great sense of achievment as well. You see, when you get something after a strenuous effort, the pleasure is always more. Likewise, when I want to listen to the music I turn the knob of my radio and it croaks out music at a pitch of its choice depending on which direction is my car moving and/or the antaenna is pointing to...and that too not instantly as i turn the knob on. Many days it takes about 2-4 minutes to get started. Out of frustation often I whack it on its head and he promptly obliges me. And then after almost 5-10 mintues of ruthna - manana my radio sings out - the satisfaction that it gives me cannot be compared with the best of music systems in the world.
My radio has a mind of its own. He decides for me which station he wants me to listen to. I am not sure about whether it has any secret tie-ups with any of these stations, or whether is it a free lance thing - but whatever it is the geast of the matter is that it decides - I dont mind because for me getting to hear whatever channel he pleases itself is a luxury beyond my dream. This absolute daily pleasure is something that i am missing here very much.
The home theatre reminds me of the complexity of life now a days. And I thought science and technology makes your life easier. Life is not at all simple with these hi-fi gadjets these days. Take the equipment called "receiver" itself. If you have a lot of audio/video players and you want them to learn sharing and caring and thus buy in the equipment called "receiver" so that they all share the same speakers, then you need a Receiver. In other words, a Receiver is a piece of equipment which accepts input from several audio/video sources and outputs nothing. It is an entertainment device though most of the entertainment is ruined while setting and conncting it up.
My daughter is better of with all these gadjets than me. I remember once I was in a guest house in Delhi and the room had a TV and a music system and had 3 remotes and some peculiar combination of switching them on in order to be able to watch TV or listen to music. It had taken me half an hour to figure out the i was holding the remotes upside down. Not that it made any sense to me the right side up, and not that I could succeed in switching the TV on. It so happened that I had stayed there for a month and every day after coming back from office I would call up room service to switch on my TV and would keep it on till the next day till the time I left for office. So you see, life is not at all simple with all these inventions. I never had any problem with the first black n white TV we had at home when I was a kid. I could easily switch it on and roll the know to get the two and a half channels that it aired! Now with 250 + channels I get thoroughly confused with TV.
So you see, what i was saying is that I miss my radio. N now am in a room all alone by myself. It has a huge tv set and fortunately only one remote to operate it. All my hurdles are overcome. No body can disturb me listenning to music and watching television...but alas, even then am unable to watch or listen...you wonder why? Because there is hardly any English channel out here, forget my good old Hindi channels...its only local channels - and I ahve no clue what they talk about.
So...am missing my radio and am missing my car...one more reason why am counting my days to go back...as if I didnt have enough!
Tuesday, September 1, 2009
Fell in love with Vienna...at last
All these days probably I was trying my level best not to fall in love with Vienna. The mother in me stopped me, the wife in me stopped me, the daughter in me stopped me. But the WOMAN in me finally won...and was touched by the beauty of this city, which is modern, yet traditional; happenning, yet calm; different, yet with a friendly touch. The good things that touched me here are (apart from the couples being more expressive :-)
- People are very friendly but from a distance. This I feel is good - Indians are known for their friendliness but I at times feel we go overboard. There is a fine boundary between friendliness and stepping the fence, and I feel we Indian do cross that boundary quite often. Here people greet you in the lift, on the lobby, on the road... even if they dont know you. They have a constant smile on their face. Its been 10 days now and I have not seen any fight anywhere.
- Trust and personal responsibility is too high amongst Europeans. And this I think, I need not elaborate.
- The city is highly planned. The traffic, though not at all light, is very organized. And I think that is because people dont break RULES here.
- Animals are taken really good care of. This is one amazing thing I have seen here. People may argue this is a rich country and that is why all these points are coming out...India being a poor country, this cannot be expected, but I would like to differ here. Its not about how much bank balance you have - its more about your nature, your thought process, your basic instincts! and India will need a 100 years to catch up to this level of honesty and trust worthiness - rich or otherwise.
- We can learn a lot of things from these people, only if we want to. We must appreciate where its due and better even if they can be adopted as well.
The free spirit that this city epitomises, am in love with that
The cleanliness of this city, am in love with that
The enormity of the palaces here, am in love with that
The beautiful weather that am enjoying here, am in love with that
The broad lanes with organized traffic, am in love with that
And all this, I think somewhere down the way, is more than compensating the lack of Indian food.
Looking forward to going back to my home to have the delicacies of India, but once I am there I will surely be missing the city, I hate to be in love with!
Friday, August 28, 2009
I want to grow old with you
This is one phrase i have read in many M&B books and even otherwise. I always found it very romantic. If some is still not sure about what I am saying here, well its kind of a marriage proposal... it goes on like this - I love you, I want to marry you, I wanna have kinds with you, I want to grow old with you...will u marry me? And then the girls gives a million dollar answer - Yes! (well a million-dollar answer I say bcos after that the guy ends up spending all his million dollars he has on her for the rest of their live, until death or divorce do them apart) But thats not the main point here. The main point is that phrase - I want to grow old with you.
Why all of a sudden am talking about this? Well simply because being in Vienna at the moment I am getting an opportunity to see a lot of elderly couples these days. They make a sweet pair. They are on their vacation, mostly alone, and they seem to be enjoying each others' company thoroughly. I get to meet them every day during the breakfast in the hotel. I particularly like them... because they hve indeed grown old with each other but are not bored of each other - something that I see in the elderly couples of our country, and that includes my parents, my in-laws as well. Are they not in love? Am sure they are, but they surely are not as expressive as these people from the otherside of the world are.
They hold hands and walk together - I have never seen my parents walking side by side, forget holding hands. Men in our country prefer walking atleast 100 miles ahead of their female counterparts! Check out on your parents, on your uncle-aunts, am sure you will notice this trend without any exception (and incase you do find any exception, please let me know - I would love to meet such a lovely couple in our country as well!) They sit together and have breakfast - our mothers have this tendency of feeding their "husbands" first! and the husbands also are too happy to have the meal before their wives! These elderly couples are enjoying theri lives...hassle free, tension free, roaming around the world. But look at our parents - can they even think of going for a vacation - only the two of them, leaving us behind? Oh am sure the mothers will dies at the thought of leaving their grown up kids, and the fathers will faint at the thought of being alone with their wives for 7-10 days! When circumstance forces them to travel together (and believe me, its mostly emergency not a vacation - like they going to their son or daughter's place who stay in a different city/country) - they travel as if they are absolute strangers!!! or enemies bonded together. The day I was travelling to Vienna from Kolkata, I met an aunty in the bus towrds the air-craft, who, according to herself was travelling with her husband to UK where her son stays, but believe me I couldnot even trace the uncle - Aunty was busy toking to me, she was excited as it was her first time, and when I asked her, "Are you traveeling alone", she said, "Na na, tomar kaku o ache amar shonge" - this is another amazing thing about our mothers and aunts - they will die but not call their husbands by their names! My mother wanted to pass this on to me, I had very politely(my version of politeness) refused! Anyways, coming back to this aunty, when she told me that "my kaku" was also there, I strated looking for him, then she said , "ei ekhanei kothao hobe"!
I see my father-in-law always shouting at my mother-in-law or scolding her when they are travelling together - as if she just cannot do anything right!
I love my India, but these are the things that disturbs me - we dont know how to respect another human being, more so if that human being is our better half! This is in our blood. We love to shout at each other. In the western part, they may have more divorces...but if they are together, they are in love. And if they are in love, and while they are in love, they treat each other well.
I learnt from this elderly couples, what it is like to grow old together gracefully and lovingly...not like growing old together because we have no options. In India coupls are like that...they are together because they have no options...are they still in love? They might like to ask this question to themselves.
Coming back to elderly couples, well, I like them immensely in this part of the world. They are indeed growing old together... God bless them.
And as I sit in my hotel room, all alone, writing this...I wonder silently... Will I really grow old with him...together? like these people out here...or will my mother be successful in passing on the heir... i wonder will i hold his hand when am walking on the road, or will he be miles ahead of me... i wonder will we call each other sweetheart and darling... or will we even not bother to call each other...
The more I wonder, the more Doris Day takes over me...Que Serra Serra...
Why all of a sudden am talking about this? Well simply because being in Vienna at the moment I am getting an opportunity to see a lot of elderly couples these days. They make a sweet pair. They are on their vacation, mostly alone, and they seem to be enjoying each others' company thoroughly. I get to meet them every day during the breakfast in the hotel. I particularly like them... because they hve indeed grown old with each other but are not bored of each other - something that I see in the elderly couples of our country, and that includes my parents, my in-laws as well. Are they not in love? Am sure they are, but they surely are not as expressive as these people from the otherside of the world are.
They hold hands and walk together - I have never seen my parents walking side by side, forget holding hands. Men in our country prefer walking atleast 100 miles ahead of their female counterparts! Check out on your parents, on your uncle-aunts, am sure you will notice this trend without any exception (and incase you do find any exception, please let me know - I would love to meet such a lovely couple in our country as well!) They sit together and have breakfast - our mothers have this tendency of feeding their "husbands" first! and the husbands also are too happy to have the meal before their wives! These elderly couples are enjoying theri lives...hassle free, tension free, roaming around the world. But look at our parents - can they even think of going for a vacation - only the two of them, leaving us behind? Oh am sure the mothers will dies at the thought of leaving their grown up kids, and the fathers will faint at the thought of being alone with their wives for 7-10 days! When circumstance forces them to travel together (and believe me, its mostly emergency not a vacation - like they going to their son or daughter's place who stay in a different city/country) - they travel as if they are absolute strangers!!! or enemies bonded together. The day I was travelling to Vienna from Kolkata, I met an aunty in the bus towrds the air-craft, who, according to herself was travelling with her husband to UK where her son stays, but believe me I couldnot even trace the uncle - Aunty was busy toking to me, she was excited as it was her first time, and when I asked her, "Are you traveeling alone", she said, "Na na, tomar kaku o ache amar shonge" - this is another amazing thing about our mothers and aunts - they will die but not call their husbands by their names! My mother wanted to pass this on to me, I had very politely(my version of politeness) refused! Anyways, coming back to this aunty, when she told me that "my kaku" was also there, I strated looking for him, then she said , "ei ekhanei kothao hobe"!
I see my father-in-law always shouting at my mother-in-law or scolding her when they are travelling together - as if she just cannot do anything right!
I love my India, but these are the things that disturbs me - we dont know how to respect another human being, more so if that human being is our better half! This is in our blood. We love to shout at each other. In the western part, they may have more divorces...but if they are together, they are in love. And if they are in love, and while they are in love, they treat each other well.
I learnt from this elderly couples, what it is like to grow old together gracefully and lovingly...not like growing old together because we have no options. In India coupls are like that...they are together because they have no options...are they still in love? They might like to ask this question to themselves.
Coming back to elderly couples, well, I like them immensely in this part of the world. They are indeed growing old together... God bless them.
And as I sit in my hotel room, all alone, writing this...I wonder silently... Will I really grow old with him...together? like these people out here...or will my mother be successful in passing on the heir... i wonder will i hold his hand when am walking on the road, or will he be miles ahead of me... i wonder will we call each other sweetheart and darling... or will we even not bother to call each other...
The more I wonder, the more Doris Day takes over me...Que Serra Serra...
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Days in Vienna
Vienna is a lovely place - i dont think I need to update you on that. Many of you must have already been here, if not then heard about it. The weather at the moment is jus perfect. The roads are so wide, clean and peaceful. The shops on the roads are what dreams are made up of. The buildings so antique yet well maintained. All take together just the place to be.
Even then the last 2 days of my life have been not very good for me? You may ask why? You may tell me that many would like to trade places with you. Nice city to be in, staying in the best of hotels, having best of food and over the weekend no work pressure to add it on... why cant you just be happy???
I will tell you why. I am glad that I am in Vienna - a place I always wanted to visit. So thank you God. Its a tourists' paradise. And you can make that out once you are on road. All around me are families, couples of all age groups and groups of young friends. Every one has company here. And there I am, all alone surfing the roads aimlessly. Looking at a kids store and thinking how Millie would have enjoyed here. Looking at the roadside cafe' and almost visualising how HE would have loved to sit there with HIS beer. Seeing couples walking on road holding hands and feeling a pang somewhere deep within.
Vienna is a nice place to be - only if you could be with yuor loved ones. I wish I had them with me here. Strolling down the roads would have been so much fun holding the hands of my loved ones. Having ice cream would be so much fun if fighting for a bite with my daughter. Window shopping would have been so much fun if mother-daughter could share some fashion tips!
Am nnot jealous to see happy faces around me, just wish I could also be one of them.
...to be continued
Even then the last 2 days of my life have been not very good for me? You may ask why? You may tell me that many would like to trade places with you. Nice city to be in, staying in the best of hotels, having best of food and over the weekend no work pressure to add it on... why cant you just be happy???
I will tell you why. I am glad that I am in Vienna - a place I always wanted to visit. So thank you God. Its a tourists' paradise. And you can make that out once you are on road. All around me are families, couples of all age groups and groups of young friends. Every one has company here. And there I am, all alone surfing the roads aimlessly. Looking at a kids store and thinking how Millie would have enjoyed here. Looking at the roadside cafe' and almost visualising how HE would have loved to sit there with HIS beer. Seeing couples walking on road holding hands and feeling a pang somewhere deep within.
Vienna is a nice place to be - only if you could be with yuor loved ones. I wish I had them with me here. Strolling down the roads would have been so much fun holding the hands of my loved ones. Having ice cream would be so much fun if fighting for a bite with my daughter. Window shopping would have been so much fun if mother-daughter could share some fashion tips!
Am nnot jealous to see happy faces around me, just wish I could also be one of them.
...to be continued
Vienna Diary
I was scheduled to travel to Vienna for a month on an official trip. For the first time I was travelling abroad alone and hence I was a bit confused. I say confused, because I really dont know exactly what I was feeling...the feeling was like a very toxic concuction of various stuffs, and the best or the worst part is that you dont even know all of them!
Anyways, the day came drwaing near and near... and then came 21st Aug'09 - bon voyage... the flight from Delhi-Vienna was at 01:50 hours, so you can well imagine my condition by the time I was standing i a huge q infront of the check-in counter. And standing there I realized the following
Anyways, the day came drwaing near and near... and then came 21st Aug'09 - bon voyage... the flight from Delhi-Vienna was at 01:50 hours, so you can well imagine my condition by the time I was standing i a huge q infront of the check-in counter. And standing there I realized the following
- India is NOT a poor country - otherwise how can u explain that long queue? It seemed as if the whole of India (and part of world) was travelling to Vienna or somewhere in Europe!!!
- Slowly I reached the front of the queue and then got the first blow - I have 6 kgs of excess baggage and so have to pay the charge or reduce the weight. Since I couldnot have possibly done the latter I paid excess baggage charges. 20kgs for 1 month trip is too less!!!
After I got my boarding pass and my wallet was 13,000 INR lighter I proceeded towards the emigration counter which also had a huge q as expected. There the following realizations struck me
- We keep accusing Indians of being ill mannered, but believe me 2 Japanes tourists wanted to break the queue and was caught tresspassing lol... I am a proud Indian.
- I am a proud IBMer as well. This tag helped me with a smooth emigration process - smoother than my contemporaries standing there.
After the emigration was done, I had to go through customs clearing as well - why? dont ask... bcos earlier I had paid excess baggage. There the questions were the most irrevalent I have ever heard. Wonder, with this kinda questionnaire, how do they manage to detect foul praeys?
Anyways, after all of that went near Gate No 9 where from we were expected to board - boy!!! there was no place to stand, forget a chair to sit!!! Was wondering, so many people travel out of India every day???!!! I was sleepy, hungry, tired and exhausted... oh yes, and thirsty as well. mentally very disturbed, felt like crying for obvious reasons... lonely and...anyways, i think you get the picture. Time passed by as it waits for none. And then finally boarded the air craft. There I had the following realizations
- The only way an international aircraft differs from a domestic one is the breadth! Otherwise the place is as less as that in the latter!!! I had an aile sit and fortunately there was a young girl sitting right next to me. We stuggled to fit in our respective seats and ended up pushing each other for a bit of excess space - but alas, there was none!
- Then around 3AM, they provided us dinner. I was excited to see them approaching but then realized I had no apetite to have them.
- They were showing Ghazini, wtched some part n then did the most difficult thing of my life - tried to sleep in there!!!
- The air craft was reminding me of AC chair cars in Trains in India. Struggled to sleep for a couple of hours. Dont remember whether was already awake or woke up... but it was around 6AM (IST) that I felt the need to go to loo.
- Came out and had nothing to do so was waiting for breakfast. They served us breakfast and then soon after that we landed.
My first feeling was that - wow! I landed in Vienna!!! But as I looked outside the window, it seemed no different than Bangalore or Hyderabad airports (cant even say Kolkata Airport though). Experience inside the airport was such that I felt we Indians are much more cordial. But may be am biased. A few disturbing stuffs
- They are very reluctant to speak in English - hardly matters if you dont understand their language.
- The luggage trolleys were not FREE!!! u had to insert some coin - and since I had no coin, I had to pull in my own luggages.
I came outside and saw a very friendly looking person holding my name and waiting for me. He gave me a firendly smile, took my luggages and even advised me not to buy Calling Cards from the airport as they would be expensive. As we drove outside the airport, I first had the glimpse of the city. Boy, Vienna is beautiful, calm, and extremely firendly - it didnt seem like a stranger to me at all. Reason? Well there are plenty of them
- Thecars on the road were no alien - I saw SKODA OCTAVIA, CIELO, MATIZ and all sorts of thoer big/small cars we see in India. Some of the cars which I had not heard about earlier(never mind I have a very poor knowledge on cars) resembled like some distant cousins of the cars on Indian roads - like ESTEEM, HYUNDAI ACCENT etc. The only car i missed there was Maruti 800!!! :-)
- The buildings were so similar like the ones we have in Kolkata around BBD Bag area - ofcourse these were much well-maintained.
- The trams! and the tram lines
- The billboards had similar advertisements and brands - only the language was different
Soon e reached our hotel. Its a nice hotel, but again being biased that I am, I prefer our hotels. Breakfast was nice and the room though small was cosy and comfortable. Soon I settled in and slept off.
... to be continued
Wednesday, May 6, 2009
Some Songs and their meanings for me
Songs... anybody and everybody's companion... when u are happy you listen to them; when you are sad, you listen to them; when you wanna dance you listen to them; when u wanna sleep, even then you listen to them. And there is a song for each and every mood you experience. No matter which genre of songs you prefer, you always have one for every occassion.
Hindi songs are my all time favorites. May be because I relate to them more. There are some songs that have touched me with their lyrics. So here are a few of my favorite Hindi lyrics that have a deep impact on me...
... Pal Na Ruke Ek Pal Ke Liye
Jeeta Rahe Pyar Kal Ke Liye
Kare Koi Sitam, Mile Koi Sazaa
Dil Bhule Nahin Kabhi Pehli Wafa
So Haare Na Himmat, Kare Sab Woh Haasil
Yeh Dil Ka Musafir, Chala Ja Raha Hai...
(this is from a song named - Kaahin toh milegi, mohabbat ki manzil)
This particular stranza has always impressed me. Pehli wafa or First True Love - the most genuine emotions you can ever experience. There may be many infatuations which you may mistake as Love, but you just know when it is true. The whole feelings is so different.... and perhaps one day, it just fades away... but no matter what, you can never forget it.
...Jis Haath Mein, Ek Haath Hain
Us Haath Ki, Kya Baat Hain,
Kya Faasle, Kya Manzilein,
Ek Humsafar, Gar Saath Hain,
Bigdi Kismat Ko Yun Jo Sawnar De
Wohi Toh Dil Daar Hain, Yaar Mere
(this is from the famous song, Sach Mere Yaar hain, from SAGAR)
Wonderful feeling it is to have a true "humsafar" who can just make your journey so desirable even with its numerous ups and downs. But do we always give importance to their existance? may be not...n then they just drift away...n then you are probably back to the journey alone...
...Kal Ki Baatein Bhul Ja
Guzri Raatein Bhul Ja
Khwab Jo Sach Ho Sake Na
Unki Yaadein Bhul Ja...
...Jo Na Hare Bewasi se
Na Kare Shikwa Kisi Se
Raaz Yeh Jana Usi Ne
Zindagi Kya Hai Zindagi...
(from the famous song, Kya Khabar Kya Pata, Kya Khushi Hai, Gum Hai Kya)
This is probably the best way to let go off the past and move forward, in life...but in reality, can we??? This also reminds me about so many other songs on "Zindagi" - indeed its a big question...what is this "Life" that we are so possessive about... we keep chasing it all the time...try to make it better all the time...and one day, it leaves us quietly, n then all our efforts are gone down the drain... Philosophy, isnt it?
Kiska Raasta Dekhein,
Ae Dil Ae Saudaai
Milon Hain Khamoshi, Barson Hain Tanhaai,
Bhulee Duniya, Kabhi Ki, Tujhe Bhi, Mujhe Bhi
Phir Kiski Yaad Aayee...
Now this is the song of the ultimate loner... and its true...we have come in this owrld alone, will go from here alone (unless we are the victim of some terrorist activity where many die together)...but here while we are at it, we look for companions... friends, relatives, life partner etc etc... We forget that none of those relations are permanent...n in todays world, all the more not...
I know I am spreading a lot of negativity. But I have really realized that nothing in this life is permanent... everything is dellusion... even "true Love" is...
Hindi songs are my all time favorites. May be because I relate to them more. There are some songs that have touched me with their lyrics. So here are a few of my favorite Hindi lyrics that have a deep impact on me...
... Pal Na Ruke Ek Pal Ke Liye
Jeeta Rahe Pyar Kal Ke Liye
Kare Koi Sitam, Mile Koi Sazaa
Dil Bhule Nahin Kabhi Pehli Wafa
So Haare Na Himmat, Kare Sab Woh Haasil
Yeh Dil Ka Musafir, Chala Ja Raha Hai...
(this is from a song named - Kaahin toh milegi, mohabbat ki manzil)
This particular stranza has always impressed me. Pehli wafa or First True Love - the most genuine emotions you can ever experience. There may be many infatuations which you may mistake as Love, but you just know when it is true. The whole feelings is so different.... and perhaps one day, it just fades away... but no matter what, you can never forget it.
...Jis Haath Mein, Ek Haath Hain
Us Haath Ki, Kya Baat Hain,
Kya Faasle, Kya Manzilein,
Ek Humsafar, Gar Saath Hain,
Bigdi Kismat Ko Yun Jo Sawnar De
Wohi Toh Dil Daar Hain, Yaar Mere
(this is from the famous song, Sach Mere Yaar hain, from SAGAR)
Wonderful feeling it is to have a true "humsafar" who can just make your journey so desirable even with its numerous ups and downs. But do we always give importance to their existance? may be not...n then they just drift away...n then you are probably back to the journey alone...
...Kal Ki Baatein Bhul Ja
Guzri Raatein Bhul Ja
Khwab Jo Sach Ho Sake Na
Unki Yaadein Bhul Ja...
...Jo Na Hare Bewasi se
Na Kare Shikwa Kisi Se
Raaz Yeh Jana Usi Ne
Zindagi Kya Hai Zindagi...
(from the famous song, Kya Khabar Kya Pata, Kya Khushi Hai, Gum Hai Kya)
This is probably the best way to let go off the past and move forward, in life...but in reality, can we??? This also reminds me about so many other songs on "Zindagi" - indeed its a big question...what is this "Life" that we are so possessive about... we keep chasing it all the time...try to make it better all the time...and one day, it leaves us quietly, n then all our efforts are gone down the drain... Philosophy, isnt it?
Kiska Raasta Dekhein,
Ae Dil Ae Saudaai
Milon Hain Khamoshi, Barson Hain Tanhaai,
Bhulee Duniya, Kabhi Ki, Tujhe Bhi, Mujhe Bhi
Phir Kiski Yaad Aayee...
Now this is the song of the ultimate loner... and its true...we have come in this owrld alone, will go from here alone (unless we are the victim of some terrorist activity where many die together)...but here while we are at it, we look for companions... friends, relatives, life partner etc etc... We forget that none of those relations are permanent...n in todays world, all the more not...
I know I am spreading a lot of negativity. But I have really realized that nothing in this life is permanent... everything is dellusion... even "true Love" is...
Monday, April 13, 2009
Escape...if you may
This is goodbye...goodbye forever...goodbye for good.
No, it is not what you think. I rather like you, and that's why. I am afraid I will fall in love with you. You won't like that...ok fine, am not being honest. I actually love you...love you more than I ever thought I would be able to love someone.
My love is a grasping clinging all-pervasive thing. I get insecure if you so much as look at someone else. My love and my world is be so full of you that there is no room for others, but I know you don't love me in the same way. You talk to others, you have a life beyond me... If somebody ever mentions your name and I get insanely jealous.
And neither of us wants that.
I love you to the extent that my own self is subsumed in my love for you. That I have realised, is rather exhausting and you don't like ir.
So I am stopping before I can get to those stages of devotion, longing and madness. I am quitting before you feel claustrophobic and shackled, before you will resent me and my helpless adoration. Because I am scared.
Escape while you can.
No, it is not what you think. I rather like you, and that's why. I am afraid I will fall in love with you. You won't like that...ok fine, am not being honest. I actually love you...love you more than I ever thought I would be able to love someone.
My love is a grasping clinging all-pervasive thing. I get insecure if you so much as look at someone else. My love and my world is be so full of you that there is no room for others, but I know you don't love me in the same way. You talk to others, you have a life beyond me... If somebody ever mentions your name and I get insanely jealous.
And neither of us wants that.
I love you to the extent that my own self is subsumed in my love for you. That I have realised, is rather exhausting and you don't like ir.
So I am stopping before I can get to those stages of devotion, longing and madness. I am quitting before you feel claustrophobic and shackled, before you will resent me and my helpless adoration. Because I am scared.
Escape while you can.
Friday, March 20, 2009
Mistakes - The only right thing in Life
(Apologies for a confused, jumbled post. But let me call it my Post-Modernist/ Anti-Positivist style).
Happily ever after…..Yes, maybe. Most of us want a life without grave illness or never see poverty. We do want our basics to be fine, whatever we think our basics are (basics you see is highly subjective).
Also, happiness is an ambiguous word. For some, happily ever after may mean five bottles of beer (my husband) and steaks everyday. Of course, we can’t define what makes people happy, matter of fact some people are drawn to depression. True, being sad somehow does it for them. All right, brand me as insensitive (no you cant really do that, as I myself, am in that phase at the moment), but hey, some people do have a subversive sense of ‘joy’.
No, no, this is not an attack on depressed people, don’t worry. This is about those irresistible imperfect choices. Wrong choices are alluring…that guy with the colorful Mohawk, that eyebrow piercing, that 90’s perm that made you look like an alien, that roadside snack, that candy the stranger gave…the first cigerratte and so on...
Look at fairytales. Somehow, most fairy tales are about wrong choices and their consequences and a journey to set it right. In Cinderella, Dad marries the wrong woman, prince falls for just that girl who is not invited to the ball…for that matter almost every fairytale is about wrong choices. I mean, for thousands of years we have told our children where wrong choices can lead us to only to ensure that they make that wrong choice! And that too in life we are left without the magic to make things fine again.
I do think making the wrong choice is the essence of life. We have to, or else how do we set it right again? Or not set it right, continue the misdeed and make a total mess. But doing the wrong thing is essential. Wait, there is a narrow border between stark stupidity and making mistakes. If you wear a superman cape and jump from a building it’s stupid, just plain stupid. But if you thought you could paint and joined an art class to only realize you can’t even draw a smiley face, then it’s a mistake.
So, why am I rambling about fairytales, mistakes, redemption, nemesis. I have no clue why. It’s like this inexplicable urge to go on a picnic with an aluminum vessel with girls on the beach and sing ‘Mausam mastana, rasta anjana’. See, that’s what I mean there is no logical reasoning. Also, when we are talking of mistakes logic and rationality are not the keywords.
Although, recently I have been thinking a lot about mistakes, wrong choices...I know, I have been thoughtful for a change instead of searching for free music online. All I can say, is my wrong choices were essential. This priceless lesson of life, yes, I was wrong and I want to set it right. Let me define myself in the Bollywood way. I would rather say ‘Bade bade shehron mein aisi choti choti baatein hoti rehti hai’ than sob like Kaka and sing ‘Humse ka bhool hui…’
...ok, I know you now want to label this post as "fully faltoo"... but dont do tht. It is not...this post is dedicated to the the miskates of my life which has made me what I am today...
Happily ever after…..Yes, maybe. Most of us want a life without grave illness or never see poverty. We do want our basics to be fine, whatever we think our basics are (basics you see is highly subjective).
Also, happiness is an ambiguous word. For some, happily ever after may mean five bottles of beer (my husband) and steaks everyday. Of course, we can’t define what makes people happy, matter of fact some people are drawn to depression. True, being sad somehow does it for them. All right, brand me as insensitive (no you cant really do that, as I myself, am in that phase at the moment), but hey, some people do have a subversive sense of ‘joy’.
No, no, this is not an attack on depressed people, don’t worry. This is about those irresistible imperfect choices. Wrong choices are alluring…that guy with the colorful Mohawk, that eyebrow piercing, that 90’s perm that made you look like an alien, that roadside snack, that candy the stranger gave…the first cigerratte and so on...
Look at fairytales. Somehow, most fairy tales are about wrong choices and their consequences and a journey to set it right. In Cinderella, Dad marries the wrong woman, prince falls for just that girl who is not invited to the ball…for that matter almost every fairytale is about wrong choices. I mean, for thousands of years we have told our children where wrong choices can lead us to only to ensure that they make that wrong choice! And that too in life we are left without the magic to make things fine again.
I do think making the wrong choice is the essence of life. We have to, or else how do we set it right again? Or not set it right, continue the misdeed and make a total mess. But doing the wrong thing is essential. Wait, there is a narrow border between stark stupidity and making mistakes. If you wear a superman cape and jump from a building it’s stupid, just plain stupid. But if you thought you could paint and joined an art class to only realize you can’t even draw a smiley face, then it’s a mistake.
So, why am I rambling about fairytales, mistakes, redemption, nemesis. I have no clue why. It’s like this inexplicable urge to go on a picnic with an aluminum vessel with girls on the beach and sing ‘Mausam mastana, rasta anjana’. See, that’s what I mean there is no logical reasoning. Also, when we are talking of mistakes logic and rationality are not the keywords.
Although, recently I have been thinking a lot about mistakes, wrong choices...I know, I have been thoughtful for a change instead of searching for free music online. All I can say, is my wrong choices were essential. This priceless lesson of life, yes, I was wrong and I want to set it right. Let me define myself in the Bollywood way. I would rather say ‘Bade bade shehron mein aisi choti choti baatein hoti rehti hai’ than sob like Kaka and sing ‘Humse ka bhool hui…’
...ok, I know you now want to label this post as "fully faltoo"... but dont do tht. It is not...this post is dedicated to the the miskates of my life which has made me what I am today...
Monday, March 16, 2009
Hindi Film Song Lyrics
Since I have nothing better to do at the moment, I decided to work with our famous Bollywood songs... So here it goes...
When I saw a girl in 1942, it felt like...
Blossoming Rose - 14.28%
Poet's Dream - 14.28%
Luminous Ray - 14.28%
Deer in forest - 14.28%
Moonlit Night- 14.28%
Soft Words- 14.28%
Lamp Lit in Temple - 14.28%
Attributes of Govinda that are SEXY ( Y=Yes, N=No)
Pant - Y
Shirt - Y
Hair - Y
Walk - Y
Even his damn hanky - Y!!!
Heisenberg's Principle of Love Uncertainty...
Somebody Lives...
Infront of my eyes - 50%
Near my Liver! - 50%
It You...you...you!!!
The following are fast asleep... Please rate the following
Standards - AW=Awake
As= Asleep
RA= Really Asleep
CM= Comatose
This World - Your rating - AS
Sky - Your Rating - AS
All Destinations - Your rating - RA
Road - Your rating - AS
Rajesh Khanna's Algorithm in LIFE
What Happened >> How did it happen >> When did it happen >> Why did it happen >> When did it happen >> When it happened >> Then it happened >> Ditch that shit >>>> What Happened >>.....
Things Govinda does and doesnot care about
Govinda Does Not care about : Your Grandmother's death
Govinda does care about: Walking on the road
Eating Bhelpuri
Showing girl around the town
Ok, enough now! what do you trhink, I really have nothing to do???!!! Grrrrrrrr
When I saw a girl in 1942, it felt like...
Blossoming Rose - 14.28%
Poet's Dream - 14.28%
Luminous Ray - 14.28%
Deer in forest - 14.28%
Moonlit Night- 14.28%
Soft Words- 14.28%
Lamp Lit in Temple - 14.28%
Attributes of Govinda that are SEXY ( Y=Yes, N=No)
Pant - Y
Shirt - Y
Hair - Y
Walk - Y
Even his damn hanky - Y!!!
Heisenberg's Principle of Love Uncertainty...
Somebody Lives...
Infront of my eyes - 50%
Near my Liver! - 50%
It You...you...you!!!
The following are fast asleep... Please rate the following
Standards - AW=Awake
As= Asleep
RA= Really Asleep
CM= Comatose
This World - Your rating - AS
Sky - Your Rating - AS
All Destinations - Your rating - RA
Road - Your rating - AS
Rajesh Khanna's Algorithm in LIFE
What Happened >> How did it happen >> When did it happen >> Why did it happen >> When did it happen >> When it happened >> Then it happened >> Ditch that shit >>>> What Happened >>.....
Things Govinda does and doesnot care about
Govinda Does Not care about : Your Grandmother's death
Govinda does care about: Walking on the road
Eating Bhelpuri
Showing girl around the town
Ok, enough now! what do you trhink, I really have nothing to do???!!! Grrrrrrrr
Monday, March 9, 2009
International Women's Day
Hmm... International Women's Day... and boy! (sorry, girl) some celebration it was, and still is. Radio, Television, Newspaper, Net, Shopping Malls, you name it, and they all have something or the other to offer you on International Women's Day...one day in a year is Your Day, woman, so go out and celebrate.
Every celebrity is writing about this day, and their feeling associated with womanhood... from Shobhaa De' to Nita Ambani to some hottie of the Bollywood Industry named Amrita Rao...they all had to contribute their views on the Sunday Times on Womanhood... so I thought, why not me? - in my own world, am a celebrity, and in my own blog, am free to express my feelings on being a woman... so here it goes... Na, dont get me wrong, my post is not about the "political" or "social" or "economical" or "blah-blah" side of Women's Day. Rather it is about those intense girlie moments, those total feminine zones that no one, no one can take away from us.
Though I studied in co-ed school and college and university, and right from my kindergarten days till the work atmosphere am in, I have had the privilege of interacting with boys, cool dudes and gentlemen, but if I lived my life all over again, one thing that will not change is that I love spending time with women. Yes, I love spending all my time with women, and stop any imagination, I am totally straight. But this is about happiness, that feeling of absolute joy and completion I know, this is the deep stuff. Recently, I was contemplating over what makes me happy and fortunately the answer was not ‘death by chocolate’ or jugs of good stout. I am happy when I am with my girlfriends. Wait, let me just elaborate this.
Let me define some of the happiest moments of my life. I was happy almost every day in Kolkata during my college days when Enasree and I started our everyday agenda together, draped in a similar kinda attire (yes, our dresses were almost similar, and even shoes!) we bunked classes, talked, giggled and talked again. God! We were happy, so, so happy. Happiness was spending time with our gang at Scottish on the backside stairs and each of us talking at the same time, happiness was in our cacophony and those O! So British Wodehouse references or random connection between Tom Jones and Anil Kapoor, or maybe simply bitching about other "gangs" and "girls".
Hmm...happiness... Happiness was forcing Enasree to miss her train timing and then all the way walking with her to Bagbazar bus stop from where she would hail her bus and i would see her off. Happiness was going out for shopping in the New Market with minimum possible fund available in our pockets - now thats what i really call "window shopping". Happiness was going for those "A" rated english movies and giggling and blushing continuously while we were watching them. Happiness was "chasing" guys! (yes, we also had our share of fun, guys!). Happiness was both myself and Enasree having a crush on the same guy and both trying to woo him and laughing off together when "that guy" went to a third girl altogether :-). Happiness was our little birthday bashes. Happiness was that scary movie I watched with Mili clasping her hands. Happiness was those shopping sprees where there was no one to stop you from shopping as all was equally into it. Happiness was some bad piece of advise given to Sonia and then not even regretting it. Happiness was those long streched telephone calls with mothers shouting behind us. Happiness was those silly greetings cards, that purple bra which only she(name withheld) thought was hot, those useless tips on sex, those remedies for hair loss, those secret recipee', and ofcourse those unadulterated gossips!
They say you are happy when you are totally focused in the present, that moment of inexplicable bliss when your mind is not regretting the past or is worried about future. Every time I am with women, I am in that state of bliss (and yes, I am aware how this sounds!). Also, I have hardly met any woman (actually there are a few of them, but anyways) whom I don’t like. Somehow I find it super easy to like women. I agree that a major part of our life goes in obsessing about men, come on, humor me I am in this typical chick flick writer mood today. But somehow for every trouble, every sneeze, every little disarray we run to women.
So today, I celebrate International Women's day by remembering all my women friends, who at every point of time helped me by giving me immense pleasure and happiness, just by being with me. They actually helped me be thankful to God for being a woman... God bless them all and make their life desirable and self content in every possible way.
Every celebrity is writing about this day, and their feeling associated with womanhood... from Shobhaa De' to Nita Ambani to some hottie of the Bollywood Industry named Amrita Rao...they all had to contribute their views on the Sunday Times on Womanhood... so I thought, why not me? - in my own world, am a celebrity, and in my own blog, am free to express my feelings on being a woman... so here it goes... Na, dont get me wrong, my post is not about the "political" or "social" or "economical" or "blah-blah" side of Women's Day. Rather it is about those intense girlie moments, those total feminine zones that no one, no one can take away from us.
Though I studied in co-ed school and college and university, and right from my kindergarten days till the work atmosphere am in, I have had the privilege of interacting with boys, cool dudes and gentlemen, but if I lived my life all over again, one thing that will not change is that I love spending time with women. Yes, I love spending all my time with women, and stop any imagination, I am totally straight. But this is about happiness, that feeling of absolute joy and completion I know, this is the deep stuff. Recently, I was contemplating over what makes me happy and fortunately the answer was not ‘death by chocolate’ or jugs of good stout. I am happy when I am with my girlfriends. Wait, let me just elaborate this.
Let me define some of the happiest moments of my life. I was happy almost every day in Kolkata during my college days when Enasree and I started our everyday agenda together, draped in a similar kinda attire (yes, our dresses were almost similar, and even shoes!) we bunked classes, talked, giggled and talked again. God! We were happy, so, so happy. Happiness was spending time with our gang at Scottish on the backside stairs and each of us talking at the same time, happiness was in our cacophony and those O! So British Wodehouse references or random connection between Tom Jones and Anil Kapoor, or maybe simply bitching about other "gangs" and "girls".
Hmm...happiness... Happiness was forcing Enasree to miss her train timing and then all the way walking with her to Bagbazar bus stop from where she would hail her bus and i would see her off. Happiness was going out for shopping in the New Market with minimum possible fund available in our pockets - now thats what i really call "window shopping". Happiness was going for those "A" rated english movies and giggling and blushing continuously while we were watching them. Happiness was "chasing" guys! (yes, we also had our share of fun, guys!). Happiness was both myself and Enasree having a crush on the same guy and both trying to woo him and laughing off together when "that guy" went to a third girl altogether :-). Happiness was our little birthday bashes. Happiness was that scary movie I watched with Mili clasping her hands. Happiness was those shopping sprees where there was no one to stop you from shopping as all was equally into it. Happiness was some bad piece of advise given to Sonia and then not even regretting it. Happiness was those long streched telephone calls with mothers shouting behind us. Happiness was those silly greetings cards, that purple bra which only she(name withheld) thought was hot, those useless tips on sex, those remedies for hair loss, those secret recipee', and ofcourse those unadulterated gossips!
They say you are happy when you are totally focused in the present, that moment of inexplicable bliss when your mind is not regretting the past or is worried about future. Every time I am with women, I am in that state of bliss (and yes, I am aware how this sounds!). Also, I have hardly met any woman (actually there are a few of them, but anyways) whom I don’t like. Somehow I find it super easy to like women. I agree that a major part of our life goes in obsessing about men, come on, humor me I am in this typical chick flick writer mood today. But somehow for every trouble, every sneeze, every little disarray we run to women.
So today, I celebrate International Women's day by remembering all my women friends, who at every point of time helped me by giving me immense pleasure and happiness, just by being with me. They actually helped me be thankful to God for being a woman... God bless them all and make their life desirable and self content in every possible way.
Thursday, February 26, 2009
Conference Calls
Canada. California. New York. Armonk. Mexico. And, to ice the cake, Bangalore. The conference call was scheduled to start at 9:30 in the morning, and at 9:29, I realized that the phone in the corner of my desk did not have an international calling facility. I was sitting there, all prepared, my papers spread out in front of me, my pen handy, my head going over the different methods of opening the conversation, saying “Hi” or “Hello” or “Good morning”, and then, I sat there listening to the sweet yet hideous female voice telling me that this service isn’t available on this phone.
I wondered what to do. The clock ticked away the seconds of the one minute left for me to sign into the call. I gulped and took a decision that I knew I’d regret. I flipped open my mobile and punched in the numbers. I prayed hard, hoping the call would end in a few minutes. It didn’t. It lasted for an hour and fifty minutes. I sighed and resigned myself for a fat bill this month. The recession time has hit our Industry big time. Companies are on cost cutting mode... but what about the poor employees? Am still dreading the time I will see the bill for this month....
Conference calls, according to me, are a supreme waste of time. I think more work can be accomplished through an email. The first twenty minutes are obviously spent in introducing all the people in the call. The next thirty-odd minutes go away in outlining the agenda for the conference call. The remaining hour or so is spent in asking people to speak up; apologizing for loud cell phones; apologizing for the rackets behind their respective backs; and finally, asking everyone present if they understood the last point. More often than not, there will be at least three jerks who would not have paid attention, and they would ask you to repeat the last point.
The frustrating thing about these conference calls is that you cannot abuse anyone verbally. If the same meeting is held over emails, then before sending each and every email, you can let out the wonderful stream of expletives, and feel good about yourself and the other person’s lack of knowledge. You can question his/her ability to think straight, his/her man-/womanhood, his/her ridiculous name, and lot of other things. But on a conference call, you have to hold your tongue and treat even the most outrageous of jerks with an amount of respect. It takes so much out of you. You can’t even make fun of funny names!
Anyway, I have had too many conference calls till now. I think I’ve devised a formula to survive each one of them. I call it “Apparent Indifference” - if you give the impression to the other jerks on the call that you’re indifferent about the outcome, then they’ll fall over themselves to spell out each and ever point of concern and make sure that each and every doubt has been answered. This, of course, helps me in making the meeting a success.
Oh, I hate conference calls. Of course, the only advantage the conference call has over board-room meetings is that you can fart loudly and get away with it... but having said that I have never enjoyed this experience much, only because I hate the idea of farting in public - with one exception - my husband! He is excused, i love him too much to feel irritated about this one (of the innumerable) bad habbit of his :-)
I wondered what to do. The clock ticked away the seconds of the one minute left for me to sign into the call. I gulped and took a decision that I knew I’d regret. I flipped open my mobile and punched in the numbers. I prayed hard, hoping the call would end in a few minutes. It didn’t. It lasted for an hour and fifty minutes. I sighed and resigned myself for a fat bill this month. The recession time has hit our Industry big time. Companies are on cost cutting mode... but what about the poor employees? Am still dreading the time I will see the bill for this month....
Conference calls, according to me, are a supreme waste of time. I think more work can be accomplished through an email. The first twenty minutes are obviously spent in introducing all the people in the call. The next thirty-odd minutes go away in outlining the agenda for the conference call. The remaining hour or so is spent in asking people to speak up; apologizing for loud cell phones; apologizing for the rackets behind their respective backs; and finally, asking everyone present if they understood the last point. More often than not, there will be at least three jerks who would not have paid attention, and they would ask you to repeat the last point.
The frustrating thing about these conference calls is that you cannot abuse anyone verbally. If the same meeting is held over emails, then before sending each and every email, you can let out the wonderful stream of expletives, and feel good about yourself and the other person’s lack of knowledge. You can question his/her ability to think straight, his/her man-/womanhood, his/her ridiculous name, and lot of other things. But on a conference call, you have to hold your tongue and treat even the most outrageous of jerks with an amount of respect. It takes so much out of you. You can’t even make fun of funny names!
Anyway, I have had too many conference calls till now. I think I’ve devised a formula to survive each one of them. I call it “Apparent Indifference” - if you give the impression to the other jerks on the call that you’re indifferent about the outcome, then they’ll fall over themselves to spell out each and ever point of concern and make sure that each and every doubt has been answered. This, of course, helps me in making the meeting a success.
Oh, I hate conference calls. Of course, the only advantage the conference call has over board-room meetings is that you can fart loudly and get away with it... but having said that I have never enjoyed this experience much, only because I hate the idea of farting in public - with one exception - my husband! He is excused, i love him too much to feel irritated about this one (of the innumerable) bad habbit of his :-)
Wednesday, February 25, 2009
Auto-nomy of Autorickshaws
[Put your city name] autorickshaw drivers are evil, greedy, and uncivil anti-social elements.
This statement seems to have more support in Kolkata that both Mamta Bannerjee and Buddhadeb Babu's followers put together; or in Bangalore than all the Dravidian parties put together. It is also a frequent topic of discussion at most (well..middle class) social gatherings. The interesting thing is (at least for me) that there is little or no debate. It is a simply a one-way rant. [Any Indian city name] auto-drivers are scoundrels of the first (or even better..zeroth) order and that’s simply the end of the story. Since the unfortunate victims of this country-wide badmouthing orgy are usually not invited to middle-class social gatherings to narrate their side of the story, I have decided to play Devil’s advocate. As people see it, they are the devils and I am their advocate. I enjoy taking unpopular positions and I dont mind being clobbered for being so obviously on the wrong side of the issue.
Let’s a first get a few things straight. Very rarely do I ever encounter an honest, transparent and law-abiding auto driver in India. Just imagine my role as being a public prosecutor for a criminal who is not going to be able to attract any decent lawyer to defend him. All I am going to do is to ask some unasked questions and do my lawful duty by making an honest attempt to see things from the auto drivers’ perspective.
So let’s list down all the unquestionable “truths” about Indian autos and see if they stand up to some semblance of scrutiny.
Auto drivers use a lot of disrespectful and foul language.
Right. No debate about that. Auto drivers are not known for their politeness. But are we perhaps possibly dealing with a cultural difference here? An average Punjabi uses extremely profane curses as punctuation, prepositions and conjuctions (and the occasional interjection) on a day to day basis, but most people in North India may not take these curses literally. The day to day struggle of those below the middle class is expected to produce the occasional outburst of rudeness interspersed with the actual intended communication. And by the way, my educated and well-behaved husband also uses words beyond any strech of my imagination when he is driving.
The point: Dont read more into the language than is necessary. Politeness and propriety are often linked with socio-cultural backgrounds. Germans are rude. Americans are brash. Brits are snobbish. Auto drivers are ... like that.
Auto drivers are rude and uncouth
I know this is a little way-out, but have we ever stopped to consider how we behave with them? Do we all behave like angels? Or do we perhaps show a little bit of that age-old Indian class superiority (Caste..I am afraid is a bad word nowadays) when dealing with people who are, from an socio-economic standpoint, below us? Is it just possible, just a little, that a lot of us in the middle class are simply not used to “those sort of people” answering back or being assertive? Is there a slender possibility that we are part of this vicious circle of uncivility?
Auto drivers overcharge and do not respect government stipulated rates
Let’s ask this question. What is the “correct” rate for auto travel? How do we know that the government has not set ridiculously low rates, rates that keep the auto drivers in grinding poverty? An average Indian auto driver makes 30 rupees, while driving through nightmarish traffic. Just a thought. And about abiding by "government" stipulated rates... tell me something, how many of us providing services ever think about whether the charges we levy for our services are over or underrated? A doctor's fee, a lawyer's fee, a consultant's charges - r they all justified? The rare the skill of a doctor, the more he charges! A specialised doc will charge more than a regular MBBS... then why an autodriver will not charge you double the rate when it comes to hailing an auto at night, or when the supply is less??? Its economics, you see.
I believe standalone Meter regulated fares will never work. Auto drivers will always find a way to “heat” them up. So it is important to realize that there are 3 forces at play in this game. (The game is defined as the “negotiation” between prospective commuter and the auto driver)
This statement seems to have more support in Kolkata that both Mamta Bannerjee and Buddhadeb Babu's followers put together; or in Bangalore than all the Dravidian parties put together. It is also a frequent topic of discussion at most (well..middle class) social gatherings. The interesting thing is (at least for me) that there is little or no debate. It is a simply a one-way rant. [Any Indian city name] auto-drivers are scoundrels of the first (or even better..zeroth) order and that’s simply the end of the story. Since the unfortunate victims of this country-wide badmouthing orgy are usually not invited to middle-class social gatherings to narrate their side of the story, I have decided to play Devil’s advocate. As people see it, they are the devils and I am their advocate. I enjoy taking unpopular positions and I dont mind being clobbered for being so obviously on the wrong side of the issue.
Let’s a first get a few things straight. Very rarely do I ever encounter an honest, transparent and law-abiding auto driver in India. Just imagine my role as being a public prosecutor for a criminal who is not going to be able to attract any decent lawyer to defend him. All I am going to do is to ask some unasked questions and do my lawful duty by making an honest attempt to see things from the auto drivers’ perspective.
So let’s list down all the unquestionable “truths” about Indian autos and see if they stand up to some semblance of scrutiny.
Auto drivers use a lot of disrespectful and foul language.
Right. No debate about that. Auto drivers are not known for their politeness. But are we perhaps possibly dealing with a cultural difference here? An average Punjabi uses extremely profane curses as punctuation, prepositions and conjuctions (and the occasional interjection) on a day to day basis, but most people in North India may not take these curses literally. The day to day struggle of those below the middle class is expected to produce the occasional outburst of rudeness interspersed with the actual intended communication. And by the way, my educated and well-behaved husband also uses words beyond any strech of my imagination when he is driving.
The point: Dont read more into the language than is necessary. Politeness and propriety are often linked with socio-cultural backgrounds. Germans are rude. Americans are brash. Brits are snobbish. Auto drivers are ... like that.
Auto drivers are rude and uncouth
I know this is a little way-out, but have we ever stopped to consider how we behave with them? Do we all behave like angels? Or do we perhaps show a little bit of that age-old Indian class superiority (Caste..I am afraid is a bad word nowadays) when dealing with people who are, from an socio-economic standpoint, below us? Is it just possible, just a little, that a lot of us in the middle class are simply not used to “those sort of people” answering back or being assertive? Is there a slender possibility that we are part of this vicious circle of uncivility?
Auto drivers overcharge and do not respect government stipulated rates
Let’s ask this question. What is the “correct” rate for auto travel? How do we know that the government has not set ridiculously low rates, rates that keep the auto drivers in grinding poverty? An average Indian auto driver makes 30 rupees, while driving through nightmarish traffic. Just a thought. And about abiding by "government" stipulated rates... tell me something, how many of us providing services ever think about whether the charges we levy for our services are over or underrated? A doctor's fee, a lawyer's fee, a consultant's charges - r they all justified? The rare the skill of a doctor, the more he charges! A specialised doc will charge more than a regular MBBS... then why an autodriver will not charge you double the rate when it comes to hailing an auto at night, or when the supply is less??? Its economics, you see.
I believe standalone Meter regulated fares will never work. Auto drivers will always find a way to “heat” them up. So it is important to realize that there are 3 forces at play in this game. (The game is defined as the “negotiation” between prospective commuter and the auto driver)
- The fare that the commuter is willing to pay
- The fare that the auto driver is willing to expect
One of the problems is that the commuter does his calculations based on
- An assumption that the auto driver is anyway likely to state an inflated fare
- The amount he can afford based on his average earnings etc
- An approximate idea of general economic inflation, government approved meter rates etc
While the auto driver does his calculations based on
- The percentage of the fare that he will, in any case, have to pay as “hafta” to corrupt policemen
- His understanding of inflation and prices of petrol etc
- His estimation of
how well off the commuter is
how urgent is the commuter need - His desire to lead a life at a level above that of slum-level existence.
In this sort of an unbalanced game, I am just wondering if we should apply a free market model to autos. Of course, we will have to solve the problem of police ownership and cartels, but I think, a variable pricing model could work moderately better than what we have today. We accept variable pricing in a lot of situations - property rates, airline tickets, tatkal railway tickets etc. So how about a three tiered model of
- basic autos - with low end fares
- Mid-tier autos
- Luxury autos
The numbers of each one of them will be determined by actual demand. Further, a series of call-centres (kind of like the Call-taxi model) that log all auto journeys (start distance, end distance) and also monitor the legality of the meters. Auto drivers should also rotate between the three tiers to make the system fair for everybody. Where the government can play a role is to pay some sort of a monthly stipend to auto drivers that will go a long way to improve their lot and potentially reduce their desperation to cheat and fleece. How will the government pay for this? We could consider a per fare tax on mid-tier and luxury autos that the government earns.
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