Monday, April 13, 2009

Escape...if you may

This is goodbye...goodbye forever...goodbye for good.

No, it is not what you think. I rather like you, and that's why. I am afraid I will fall in love with you. You won't like that...ok fine, am not being honest. I actually love you...love you more than I ever thought I would be able to love someone.

My love is a grasping clinging all-pervasive thing. I get insecure if you so much as look at someone else. My love and my world is be so full of you that there is no room for others, but I know you don't love me in the same way. You talk to others, you have a life beyond me... If somebody ever mentions your name and I get insanely jealous.

And neither of us wants that.

I love you to the extent that my own self is subsumed in my love for you. That I have realised, is rather exhausting and you don't like ir.

So I am stopping before I can get to those stages of devotion, longing and madness. I am quitting before you feel claustrophobic and shackled, before you will resent me and my helpless adoration. Because I am scared.

Escape while you can.