Monday, April 13, 2009

Escape...if you may

This is goodbye...goodbye forever...goodbye for good.

No, it is not what you think. I rather like you, and that's why. I am afraid I will fall in love with you. You won't like that...ok fine, am not being honest. I actually love you...love you more than I ever thought I would be able to love someone.

My love is a grasping clinging all-pervasive thing. I get insecure if you so much as look at someone else. My love and my world is be so full of you that there is no room for others, but I know you don't love me in the same way. You talk to others, you have a life beyond me... If somebody ever mentions your name and I get insanely jealous.

And neither of us wants that.

I love you to the extent that my own self is subsumed in my love for you. That I have realised, is rather exhausting and you don't like ir.

So I am stopping before I can get to those stages of devotion, longing and madness. I am quitting before you feel claustrophobic and shackled, before you will resent me and my helpless adoration. Because I am scared.

Escape while you can.

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dont you think you are much more important than being subsumed?

Shopno said...

well... i think its ok to be subsumed for someone who is the most important person of your life...anyways... these are just different viewpoints...you may or may not agree with mine...and mostly, my viewpoints rarely match up with others so thts ok