Look Beyond Actions

Anybody who has a husband or a boyfriend or some other form of commitment-phobic, responsibility-fearing human partner, knows that anything he does to whatever you say has no distant connection with emotions and/or feelings. Every woman is born with a natural ability see through his actions but chooses to be patient and forgiving for the sake of peace and sanity. Here are some examples.

Men Psychology and their general understanding of "Women": They think that anything a woman utters has a "hidden" meaning which the male species has not evolved with enough sensory perceptions to understand (the latter part is ofcourse, true).

No matter what you say, your counter part (yes, that commitment-phobic, responsibility-fearing human partner) will not go by your face value, but rather try to find the "hidden" motive and act such stupidly that he will screw your happiness as well as his, in the process. Some such common scenarios are

When you say: How was your day honey?
What he thinks you mean: You want *him* to ask *you* how your day was?
How he handles it: Assuming, he is one of the 99% of men who neither wants to talk about his day nor wants to listen about his wife’s day, he switches to “rant mode”. The moment you ask the question, he starts off “It was the most godawful day anybody can ever have. I mean, I was trying to tweak the CPU frequency but the audio keeps crapping out”.

If you are one of 99% of normal human beings, you would have slept half way through.

When you say: Hey, you want to watch a movie tonight? Something light?
What he thinks you mean: You want to watch some tear-jerker chickflick
How he handles it: According to him, everything you say or do, is a "test". He uses his "brain" and thinks, if he whines about the movie, it will be paid back in kind when he wants to watch “Star Wars :The Clone Wars.” So he decides that the best way to handle it is to agree cheerfully to watch any movie you want. In fact, he offers to drive to the nearest DVD shop to get the movie. And on the way back, he sticks a scotch tape to the underside of the DVD and then he would get a chance to feign regret for a damaged DVD. (and you actually believe him and end up watching "Star Wars: The Clone Wars" together.

When you say: What should I wear for tonight’s party? The blue dress I wore last Sunday or the red dress the Sunday before?
What he thinks you mean: Nothing, now he is screwed. He thinks he is in a minefield. First of all he has no clue if you really have those dresses. And his corrupt mind thinks may be you are just "testing" his memory. Moreover, he has no clue what you wore last Sunday or the Sunday before. He thinks, if he makes one mistake then you are going to screw his evening with a "Do you even notice me any more” discussion.
How he handles it: The best way to handle it is by concentrating and remembering at least one dress you own. If he can think of one,he will just say, “Why not that long yellow number?” Adding “You look really good in that” will seal the deal for him. But what if he can’t absolutely remember at least one of the dresses you have? Then, he will simply excuse himself and run to your closet and find out!

When you say: Hey, I am going to the mall. Do you want me to you get you a shirt or something?
What he thinks you mean: He thinks he got a tough problem in his hands. If he said "yes" then obviously he is not going to like what you bought (wonder why we ever try). He can neither wear it nor return it (and stay married). At the same time he cant say "no" because he thinks then you will follow it up with a “What, you don’t like my taste?” discussion.
How he handles it: The best way to handle it is by saying, “Sure. The plain blue shirt I wear to work is pretty ruined anyway. Can you get me the exact same shirt?”

When you say: Oh, I LOVE these shoes! But they are just above our price range. *sigh*
What he thinks you mean: You want him to say, “Oh, you deserve them honey”
How he handles it: He can’t just give away an expensive pair of shoes without a good business proposition. So the way to counter it is by saying, “Oh, it’s not that expensive honey. That’s how much the Prince of Persia IV for PS3 costs!”