Love...

It has been another long day for Rituparna. Long, tiring, and to make it worse a routine day; nothing exceptional, good or bad happened and that what makes it so irritating for her.
"I need a miracle", she thought as she unlocked her apartment and entered in there. "I need a miracle to save me from the boring, uneventful life that am living; and I need it soon, before it is too late." As she kept her stuffs in their "supposed-to-be" places she wondered if those stuffs felt the same boredom that she suffers from. With a sudden impulse she kept the umbrella on the shelf of her bedroom rather than on the Stand in the main entrance. She kept her purse on the centre table rather than in the cupboard and left her laptop bag on the bed itself. Let them enjoy a different state of being today...irrespective of whether it is better or worse...just to have a different "taste" of life. She smiled at her insanity and wished she had the power to change her own course of life the way she is doing for her stuffs!

Rituparna, a successful career woman in her late twenties. A woman who lives life on her own terms and faces its consequences with a smile today feels burdened with her life. Not because her life is not worth living. In fact, many women would love to trade places with her. A successful career, well established, independent woman, living life on her own terms in this faraway land in Europe... earning a decent livelihood as well as respect in the society...who would not want to be in her place? And she realises that. She is grateful for everything life has given her. She realizes the value, all the more because she has earned them all. Some people are born lucky, some people "get" lucky, and she is definitely the latter. So she relishes the achievements of her life. But with all the fights that she fought right from her childhood, today she feels tired. Tired of fighting and getting things - today she wants to "be" lucky and not "get" lucky.

After changing she switches on the TV - her companion at home and starts preparing dinner for herself. Boredom sets in yet again, but she knows she has to "fight" it to prevent herself from starving. She has to cook tonight, whether or not she feels like doing it. She takes out the marinated chicken from the freezer and stars chopping onions... she always liked chopping onions...as then you can cry your heart out without feeling guilty. The "strong" woman tag that she wears all the time prevents her from crying...but the soft girl inside her, wants to cry - this conflict is best resolved when is is cutting onions. As then the girl trapped inside can cry her heart out without the strong woman interfering in there. As she cuts the onions, she cries and tries to console the girl...the innocent girl who feels like rebelling, but is too weak to do so.

Ritu was very popular amongst her friends always. A bubbly girl, always with a friendly smile whose simplicity moved everybody around her. She believed in perfection of human relationships. She believed in Love... a girl in love with love. All her relationships she lived perfectly. Her power of "loving" was immense and divine. She was the perfect daughter, the perfect sister, the perfect friend...in short her "love" was perfect. She was idealistic and wanted an ideal world - where she would be able to heal others' pain and miseries. Many a times she got scolding from her mother for being too liberal in giving all her stuffs/toys away to needy and poor people around. Her father always supported her and she adored him for that. Ritu was a girl who would unconditionally "give" in every human relationship that she lived. And she believed the world is exactly the way she is.

That has been her biggest mistake. She believed "Love" is conceived by everybody exactly the same way as she does. And her idealism truely exists. At every crossroad of life when someone somewhere would break her heart, she would fight with the cruel world and take her idealism forward - no way she could let her belief break because of one or two persons! She always believed in optimism. She would not let anyone break her faith on "love". So all the hearbreaking events, now matter how small or big they were, were kept somewhere deep within her heart. She believed there would be one specialperson who would help her forget all those events and make her realize that her dream of finding "true love" has indeed come true one day.
And it happened when she met Rahul. She knew he was the one...she knew she got her soul mate. She forgot all her past miseries and she knew her life was perfect with her soul mate. They loved each other truely, or so she thought and their life together was a perfect example of love and togeherness...or so she thought. She felt so secured, so protected in Rahul's arms. She knew thats her world, and she was happy and content.

After being together for 3 whole years and enjoying many good moments, their relationship started falling apart - this process of falling part was so gradual and slow that probably both of them didnot realize it till the time the gap widened to such an extent that they realized they just cannot accept that gap and continue living. Ritu did not want to know whose fault it was - and thats not an important issue at all. The most important issue was it was a great loss, and that the damage was done.

Ritu, with all her idealism and principles could not ome in terms with the pain of staying in that broken relationship - so she had to decide to come out of it. It was tough as this time the girl in her just couldnt take it anymore. She started losing faith on "love", on "relationship" on "God" on everything that she always believed in. Taking a job in Europe she fled the situation there but she knew she could never flee from the memories...from the ghost of the past.

As she started preparing the chicken and warming up the cold rice in the freezer...the ghosts of the past started dancing all around her. She tried to fight them but she was too weak to do so... she wanted to run away, but she didnt know where to. She knew she had to fight and win them over but the girl within had no energy left in her to do so... and thats when she hoped and prayed that some miracle would happen...

Who is this Ritu? ANd why am I blogging about her? I dont know Ritu, but I know that we all can relate to Ritu at some point of our life. When we believe in something very strongly and that belief breaks, we understand Ritu's pain. So Ritu is in each one of us... And miracle? Does miracle happen?

Am at such a crossroad of my life where am yet to see whether miracle happens or not, when you desperately want them to happen. As for Ritu... I wish her all the best. May God send His angels to help Ritu out.