At the onset, let me just clarify, that my daughter will appear for the first BOARD Exam of her life next year, and like a true-blue Bengali middle class family, we all are super excited about it! I have already thought of the Face Book update that I will provide post her result; I clearly remember the number of likes and comments similar posts have received in the last couple of years; And I certainly intend to modestly brag about my daughter's performance to any and every Tom Dick and Harry I meet and interact, but while I anticipate all of that and more, let me fondly remember "our times"... we, the student of 90s, who went through our share of BOARD EXAMS and all the before and after effects of them.
Anyone who went to school/high school in the early and mid 90s would relate to me for sure.
Ok, how many of us remember our Higher Secondary days? Two papers of the same subject, syllabus was standard XI and XII combined. We had our shares of fun, didn't we? Suicides were common, and so were nervous breakdowns. If you thought teachers were strict, then you obviously were one of the rarest few who had sane parents (like mine). But most of the parents I knew back then, give me nightmares even today, when I compare my mild involvement in my daughter's studies compared to their aggressive ones. The 30 minute break between papers 1&2, would mean for them to act like the coaches of the heavyweight boxers in their corners after a bruising fight, planning strategically, one parent stuffing some morsels of food down a barely moving mouth while the other, giving last minute valuable advice, like, “Answer the objective type first”. As if this was not enough, within that short span of time, they also managed to collect data on who answered what, and already mentally tabulated the probable scores of all the competitors, like, Mr. Das's daughter and Mr. Ghosh's son. And if by chance, your probable score failed to match theirs, then you have had it! I remember till date, every time, I came out of Exam Hall, I was surrounded by numerous parents, some asking me questions about the questions, others snatching away the question paper, even though their wards would probably come out in the next 5 minutes. But no, why waste those 5 minutes, eh? These exams were invariably held in hot, sultry, summer, afternoons, and I quite hated the sight of the aunties in sleeveless blouses, hounding me with earnest queries like, "Which coaching do you go to? Who teaches you Maths at home? etc." These same parents, when their own kids come out of the hall, swoop down from all sides grabbing them by the forearms and bombarding them with "questions about questions"...one exam ends and the other one starts for the unfortunate kids...
Cut to 2015, and I see similar trends amongst Bong parents. Most of us, who were students in 90s, are parents now...and many of us who hated the torture we were succumbed to, are doing exactly the same thing to their wards now. For us if "STAR" and "LETTER" were the targets, now, its 95%-96%...anything less than that is an insult to the entire race of humanity! We have moved from B/W TV to LCD, from Dooradarshan to DTH, from those big fat black telephones to the era of Facebook, twitter, and whats app...but the intention of the parents' to reach newer heights of achievement at the cost of creating undue pressure on the children still continues. If anything, things have worsened, competition is even more fierce now. Planning is even more strategic, focus is even more grave. Akash Institute, and FITJEE s are minting money, and why not? Now kids "prepare" themselves for IIT from Class - VII or VIII. I feel extremely sorry for them when I happen to cross by one such institute at 8-30 PM every Monday. Some of the students still wearing their school uniforms, which clearly means they probably hop from one tuition to another after the school hour ends and don't even get time to freshen up. There is this concept of multiple tuitions for a single subject, lest you miss the "notes" of X if you only go to Y! For 1 mark the students and the parents can lay their lives and take a few as well, if the need be.
So for all the aspiring IITians and their parents, here is one piece of advice. None of this would matter in the Long run. Yeah!
When I look around and see my batch mates from school, I see, more or less, all of us have reached somewhere or the other. Even if we failed to reach where we wanted to, we are still doing pretty well for ourselves. 100/100 in Maths, or 80/100 in Maths, both the types of students are probably earning the same pay package...in fact, probably the guy who failed in Mathematics is more successful because he is doing what he was good at. Scores and Ranks lead us nowhere, our knowledge does, our passion does. It hardly matters if you got 96% or 69%, probably you will end up in the same place, as Marks have no direct correlation to "success". So stop screwing up your kids' childhood. Let them enjoy this wonderful phase of life which will never come back. Yes, focus is important, but draw a line. Don't over do... Celebrate their uniqueness...not all are supposed to be scoring 100/100 in Maths. If your ward is the one who can and do, then congratulations! But if he is not the one, its ABSOLUTELY FINE! Enjoy life nevertheless, and let him follow his dreams... You please support your kids in following their dreams rather than forcing them to chase yours... Come on, we owe this to our children, don't we?
Anyone who went to school/high school in the early and mid 90s would relate to me for sure.
Ok, how many of us remember our Higher Secondary days? Two papers of the same subject, syllabus was standard XI and XII combined. We had our shares of fun, didn't we? Suicides were common, and so were nervous breakdowns. If you thought teachers were strict, then you obviously were one of the rarest few who had sane parents (like mine). But most of the parents I knew back then, give me nightmares even today, when I compare my mild involvement in my daughter's studies compared to their aggressive ones. The 30 minute break between papers 1&2, would mean for them to act like the coaches of the heavyweight boxers in their corners after a bruising fight, planning strategically, one parent stuffing some morsels of food down a barely moving mouth while the other, giving last minute valuable advice, like, “Answer the objective type first”. As if this was not enough, within that short span of time, they also managed to collect data on who answered what, and already mentally tabulated the probable scores of all the competitors, like, Mr. Das's daughter and Mr. Ghosh's son. And if by chance, your probable score failed to match theirs, then you have had it! I remember till date, every time, I came out of Exam Hall, I was surrounded by numerous parents, some asking me questions about the questions, others snatching away the question paper, even though their wards would probably come out in the next 5 minutes. But no, why waste those 5 minutes, eh? These exams were invariably held in hot, sultry, summer, afternoons, and I quite hated the sight of the aunties in sleeveless blouses, hounding me with earnest queries like, "Which coaching do you go to? Who teaches you Maths at home? etc." These same parents, when their own kids come out of the hall, swoop down from all sides grabbing them by the forearms and bombarding them with "questions about questions"...one exam ends and the other one starts for the unfortunate kids...
Cut to 2015, and I see similar trends amongst Bong parents. Most of us, who were students in 90s, are parents now...and many of us who hated the torture we were succumbed to, are doing exactly the same thing to their wards now. For us if "STAR" and "LETTER" were the targets, now, its 95%-96%...anything less than that is an insult to the entire race of humanity! We have moved from B/W TV to LCD, from Dooradarshan to DTH, from those big fat black telephones to the era of Facebook, twitter, and whats app...but the intention of the parents' to reach newer heights of achievement at the cost of creating undue pressure on the children still continues. If anything, things have worsened, competition is even more fierce now. Planning is even more strategic, focus is even more grave. Akash Institute, and FITJEE s are minting money, and why not? Now kids "prepare" themselves for IIT from Class - VII or VIII. I feel extremely sorry for them when I happen to cross by one such institute at 8-30 PM every Monday. Some of the students still wearing their school uniforms, which clearly means they probably hop from one tuition to another after the school hour ends and don't even get time to freshen up. There is this concept of multiple tuitions for a single subject, lest you miss the "notes" of X if you only go to Y! For 1 mark the students and the parents can lay their lives and take a few as well, if the need be.
So for all the aspiring IITians and their parents, here is one piece of advice. None of this would matter in the Long run. Yeah!
When I look around and see my batch mates from school, I see, more or less, all of us have reached somewhere or the other. Even if we failed to reach where we wanted to, we are still doing pretty well for ourselves. 100/100 in Maths, or 80/100 in Maths, both the types of students are probably earning the same pay package...in fact, probably the guy who failed in Mathematics is more successful because he is doing what he was good at. Scores and Ranks lead us nowhere, our knowledge does, our passion does. It hardly matters if you got 96% or 69%, probably you will end up in the same place, as Marks have no direct correlation to "success". So stop screwing up your kids' childhood. Let them enjoy this wonderful phase of life which will never come back. Yes, focus is important, but draw a line. Don't over do... Celebrate their uniqueness...not all are supposed to be scoring 100/100 in Maths. If your ward is the one who can and do, then congratulations! But if he is not the one, its ABSOLUTELY FINE! Enjoy life nevertheless, and let him follow his dreams... You please support your kids in following their dreams rather than forcing them to chase yours... Come on, we owe this to our children, don't we?
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3 comments:
I could relate to your words, straight from my heart and brain. I was the topper in class, both in school and college and what my mother used to do, when there was a careless mistake of even '1' mark - dreaded me till now. Today, on her birthday - sending it to her to read .. I know she will have a hearty laugh on plight of different genre of students you have portrayed in this.
Hey! Happy Birthday to Aunty! and kudos to her for having a mighty daughter like you, am sure the credit is mostly hers :-)
Well written. Actually what we forget is marks is just entry point to the next, nothing else. Also marks is just a form of 3 hours. As they say form is temporary class is permanent.
Fortunately my parents expectation from me was , I need not get 90, but I should not answer 90 and then get 40. They were ok with me getting 40 after answering 50.
After each exam the common question from my father used to be 'Was it possible for you to give this exam better today?' If the answer is yes then he used to say so you know what was wrong do not repeat.
I was most fortunate in terms that I never got scolded for lower marks. Every time I heard past is past, look towards the future.
And yes I used to do my calculation. I was wrong in that prediction for me in 9 out of 58 board/university papers I have written.
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