Because You are a Woman

Because You are a Woman
You keep your pain inside
You smile when you want to cry
Your desires, You always hide.

You strive to be the best
You aspire to reach the top
Because You are a Woman
The world wants You to stop.

From the morning to night
Multi-tasks You perform
Because You are a woman
It's considered a norm.

So wet are your tears
That you shed at night
Because You are a woman
You don't share your plight.

With anxiety so high
And self-esteem too low
Because You are a Woman
You don't let it show.

Because You are a Woman
You know there is power within
To believe in yourself
To know that You shall win.

Because You are a woman
You open your wounded heart
TO spread warmth, love and care
Even if You fall apart.

An Open Letter to LIFE!

Dear Life,

You cannot subdue me because I refuse to take your discipline and tantrums too seriously. When you hurt me I laugh it off, for laughter knows no pain. I appreciate your joys wherever I find them, but your sorrows neither sadden me nor discourage me, for I laugh with my soul. Temporary defeat doesn't make me sad, yet I simply set music to the words of defeat and turn into an inspiring song! When you give me lemons, I make lemonade out of it and enjoy! Your tears are not for me, for I prefer laughter more, and because I like it better, I use it all the time, whether in grief, and sorrow and pain and disappointment. 

Life, you love to tease me — don’t you deny it. You slip the emotions of obsession, jealousy, possessiveness, and desires into my heart so that you might use them as thorns with which to prick my soul — but I have learned to dodge your trap with pure love. You try to lure me with the desire for gold, but I fool you by following the trail that leads to knowledge instead. You induce me to build beautiful friendships — then convert my friends to enemies so you may harden my heart, but I dodge you by laughing off at your attempts and selecting new friends in my own way. You want me to give up, but I refuse to give in. You want to instill hatred in my soul for you but I choose to love you even more for all your failed attempts!

You cause others to cheat me so I will become distrustful, but I win again because I possess one precious asset which no one can steal — it is the power to think my own thoughts and to be myself. The more people cheat me the more determined I am to spread trust and personal responsibility in this world. You want to pull me down, but like a Pulley, it gives me more strength to rise even higher. You build a fire of hope in my heart, then sprinkle water on the flames, but I do better by rekindling the fire — and I laugh at you every time you do that. 

You have nothing that can lure me away from laughter and love, that I am so fond of, and you are powerless to scare me into submission to anything otherwise. I know one day, when you will get tired of taming me down, you will threaten me with death, but death to me is just a new start. So you see my dear life, you can never stop me from loving you!

So to a life of laughter and love, then, I raise my toast! And on the other side of death, as and when we meet again, I will welcome you with open arms and our saga will continue from where we left and this will go on forever and ever. For I am in love with Life and you cannot make me feel, think, or be otherwise! Cheers!!!

(This is inspired by one of my favorite songs - Main Zindagi ka Saath Nibhata Chala Gaya. You can listen it here)

15th Wedding Anniversary in the Pipeline

You bet I am so excited about completing 15 years as a married woman (and that too, to a single man) that I am going to break my hiatus in the world of blogs by blogging about it, and that too almost 3 months in advance! I know, probably nobody will pat my back or appreciate my effort, but nevertheless I know what its like! I have been married for the last 15 years (well, almost)! Wow, 15 years! I can't believe so I will repeat myself. 15 YEARS!!! That means

• 15 years of trying to be an ideal wife. Well, ok, 1 year of trying to be an ideal wife and then giving it up and accepting that I can never live up to that as I haven't seen my Mother-In-Law during my growing years. As an after thought, I think child marriage is a wise thing to do. Life would have been so much easier for me if only I was brought up by my MIL. Because no matter what my mother taught me, that's always NOTHING compared to what his mother taught him! 
• 15 years of trying to make sure the house is spotless before your husband is due to arrive home and then realizing gradually over time that my house would always be spotless if hubby didn't live here, like it is now. Even if that means filling my closets and drawers with my trash and my crap. And I suppose, that's actually CLEAN unless no one ever opened any of my "secret hiding places" and started commenting on my sense of cleanliness.
• 15 years of sincerely practicing and ensuring that no matter how trying your day may have been, don’t burden your husband with your trivial woes till the day I realized that most of my woes are actually a result of my dear hubby, and his by products. I mean, teenage daughter's tantrums, or this stupid thing called family-work balance that includes absurd things like 'sacrifice-compromise-adjustment" - would they be there if I wasn't married?
• 15 years of improving one another's patience level, tolerance level, and helping each other 
practice one's linguistic skills by making one another repeat one self over and over and over and over.
• 15 years of bathroom fights. No no, don't get imaginative here. There is not even an iota of romance involved in such fights. They are purely strategic. They are about clashing interests. They are all about "your-way-or-my-way" symptoms. 

Your way => Toilet seat should be up
 My way => It should be down
                                  
Your way =>  Towels and other bathroom accessories should not be PINK or PURPLE          
 My way => They should be nothing but PINK and PURPLE

You see, the list can go on and on, but that was not what I intended to write about. But what the heck, now that I am enjoying this, there is no need to shy away, isn't it? You know, there are quite a few myths associated with the term MARRIAGE. May be marriage is not to be blamed... when the TWO comes together they become TOO MUCH. In any case when CUPID shoots an arrow we tend to get STUPID. And as if that is not enough, both men and women have diagonally opposite expectations from this alliance called MARRIAGE. Its all about clash of perspectives

You see, when a woman gets married, she thinks, “Oh! I’m so excited to share my life with someone… now that there are two of us, we’ll be able to get twice as much done!” 

And a man thinks while getting married, “This is cool, now that there’s someone else sharing my life and more importantly, the work, I’ll only have to do half as much!”     

You get the difference? Now I shall rest my case!                                                                                      
P.S. : 15 years into marriage, my life is like CLASH OF TITANS... Cheers to me and many more like me who can relate to this! :-)

Humor

Humor is a very cultural thing. Unless practiced with utmost caution, it often might just end up with a bunch of blank stares in one's direction. By virtue of being in a Global Workplace for the last few years, I have got the privilege of learning this the hard way. With my experience of being with cross-cultural colleagues and friends across the world, I have realized that Humor, like beauty, is a subjective concept and lies in the eyes (or mind) of the beholder. What has one person ROFL might have another scratching their head trying to figure out what was so hilarious about the whole thing! But then, I firmly believe in the concept of "Unity in Diversity" even in matters of Humor. Come On now, there must be some common global templates of humor that appeal to all? Irrespective of where to stay and what language you speak? Say for example, a gig on Men V/s Women (or Husband V/s Wife, if you are a frustrated married being) has its own Global Appeal - it appeals me as well, the MEN part of the humor, or the lack of it. What I am trying to explain here is...I find men (or husbands) funny no matter which part of the world they belong to. I love the way how they provide entertainment unlimited (even though, in a sane frame of mind I find them quite frustrating). But like 99.99% of women folks across the world, I am insane most of the time. See! there is a global appeal.

For example, I can see humor in everything (well almost) that a man says and what actually they mean by them. And its across section and culture. Little specifics may differ, but overall the translation remains the same.

Translating the Words of Men

"I'M GOING FISHING"
Meaning: "I'm going to get myself drunk in a dangerously stupid and irritable way, and stand by a stream with a stick in my hand, while the fish swim by me completely safely.

Now, the cultural specifics may differ, ie, the hobbies may vary...but the meaning remains just the same!

"IT'S A GUY THING"
Meaning: There is no rational thought pattern associated with it, and don't even bother to make anything logical out of it. It's absolute crap!

"CAN I HELP YOU WITH DINNER"
Meaning: Why the hell isn't the dinner already on the table!!!

"SURE HONEY", "YES DARLING", "I LOVE YOU" ETC.
Meaning: Absolutely nothing. These are conditioned responses, when they have nothing better or suitable to say. You would be the biggest fool on the earth to take them on their face values at such times.

"IT WOULD TAKE TOO LONG TO EXPLAIN"
Meaning: I have no idea how it works!

"I WAS LISTENING TO YOU. ITS JUST THAT I HAVE OTHER PRESSING THINGS ON MY MIND"
Meaning: I was wondering if that chick on the other table is wearing a push-up bra!

"TAKE A BREAK HONEY. YOU'RE WORKING TOO HARD"
Meaning: I can't hear the sound of the TV (game or news) over the sound of your vacuum cleaner and/or mixer

"THAT'S INTERESTING DEAR"
Meaning: Are you still talking???

"YOU KNOW HOW BAD MY MEMORY IS"
Meaning: I remember every little details of Euro CUp history and/or every statistics of my favorite player; I remember every registration number of all the cars I have owned till date, I remember all the dirty jokes my stupid friends send me, but I forgot your birthday as that's easy to forget!

"I LOVE YOU SO MUCH...SEE! I GOT YOU THESE ROSES"
Meaning: The girl selling them was a real babe!
 
"OH, DON'T FUSS. I JUST CUT MYSELF, IT'S NOT BIG DEAL"
Meaning: I have really severed a limb, but my male ego permits to admit so. I shall bleed to death before I admit that I am hurt.
 
"HEY, I HAVE GOT MY REASONS FOR DOING EXACTLY WHAT I AM DOING"
Meaning: And I sure hope to cook up some pretty good reason soon.
 
"I CAN'T FIND IT"
Meaning: Since it didn't fall into my outstretched hands, I am completely clueless. And for GOd's sake, don't ask me to look for things I have no interest in! So what if it is an important thing thats missing!
 
"WHAT DID I DO THIS TIME?"
Meaning: What did you catch me at? Oh which particular mischief did i guffawed? Hope you didn't catch me exchanging numbers with the hot chick!
 
" I HEARD YOU"
Meaning: I haven't the faintest idea what you just said, and am hoping desperately that I can fake it well so that you dont screw up my next 3 days by yelling at me.
 
"YOU KNOW I COULD NEVER LOVE ANYONE ELSE"
Meaning: I am accustomed to the way you yell at me and absoultely realize it could be worse.
 
"YOU LOOK TERRIFIC"
Meaning: Please dont torture me anymore by trying one more outfit, I dont care how you look, I am starving now...can we please leave?
 
"I'M NOT LOST. I KNOW EXACTLY WHERE WE ARE"
Meaning: No one will ever see us alive again.
 
Now, my dear friends...irrespective of which part of the world you reside, don't you find these funny? Humor, though, lies in the eyes (and mind) of the beholder, some aspects of our life are universally humorous!

Bollywood in the 70s-80s

I am a big time Hindi movie fan. And I grew up watching the movies of 70s and 80s and I love the way things were so plain and simple in those days... wonder why we even try "realistic cinema" today? By being "real" the directors are depriving us of the fun of that bygone era... here is my tribute to that era.

Problem of a Grandmother:

I am a proud grandmother of a handsome boy who is now living in the city. I want him to come back to our village and fall in love with this girl. But he refuses. How do I get him to come back to the village?


Bolly answers:
 
A simple telegram that says “Grandmother serious. Start immediately.” will do the trick. When he comes back expresses shock upon finding you in the pink of health, let out a hallow guffaw and tell him “I will not die until I play with my great-grand children.” The girl you mentioned will take care of falling in love part, with brass innuendos and slutty songs.

Hero wants to disguise. What should he do?

Bolly answers:

A completely unrecognizable disguise can be worn by simply wearing black sunglasses and a slightly different hairstyle. Not even your mom will be able to recognize you. But be warned! Lowering the glasses on to the nose and looking over them and winking has been proven to let your girlfriend identify you immediately.


Remedy for snake-bites:

Oh my God! A snake bit my girlfriend. What do I do now???

Bolly answers:

Fret not. Snakes can not only inject venom into human bodies, but they can suck the venom out as well, just like sucking juice out of a juice box. The trick is to make a compelling argument to the snake to take the venom back. This can be achieved by climbing up on a hill and singling a melancholy filled song. When you sing the song, the snake has two options to make you stop singing. It can bite you and take you down. Or it can take the venom back from your girlfriend. Stay as far away from your girlfriend as possible, because, then the snake would take the quickest way to put an end to your song and suck the venom back.


Problem of a boy friend:

My girlfriend is in a girls-only hostel. I want to get into the hostel and meet her. How can I do that?

Bolly answers:

One of the original intentions of burqa is to help men get into women’s hostels. Do not worry if you are a 6-footer or have hairy legs and hands showing through the burqa. Nobody will notice it. Strategically placed balloons (sold separately) are known to enhance the effect.


Hero's sister's problem:

I am a pretty girl and a sister to a handsome, hero-like, guy. Astrologically, what birthstone should I be wearing to get married soon?

Bolly answers:
 
It doesn’t matter what birthstone you wear, you will soon be raped. The rapist will refuse to marry you until your brother makes him see the error in his ways, by beating him into a pulp. So the answer to your question is, you will be married soon. So be happy.


Remedy to automobile problems:

My car stopped all of a sudden on a rural road. How do I fix it?

Bolly answers:
 
There is only one solution any kind of car problem. Pour water in the radiator. Grab the empty can from the trunk, which never fails to be present, and walk in a random direction until you chance up on a lake and a pretty girl taking water from it.


Problem of accident-prone heroes:

I just had a serious accident and am unconscious. Will I recover?


Bolly answers:
 
People seldom die from accidents. No matter how you are hurt or what bones are broken, what you immediately need is an operation. The doctor will tell your family exactly how much the operation will cost, which, in most cases, is 1 lakh (100,000) rupees. Don’t worry. Stay peacefully unconscious. You will soon wake up with a bandage to your head and rest of the body unscathed. Please remember that it is good etiquette to ask, “Where am I” upon waking up.


Hygeine and bathing solutions:

I am a pretty and young girl. What is the proper way of taking a shower?


Bolly answers:
 

Even in utmost privacy, you must wrap your torso in a sari or towel while taking a shower and soap only uncovered parts. Dont worry about your hygeine, that will be taken care of.

Childhood problems:

I am a five year old boy and talk like a 16 year old. I want a baby brother or sister. How do I get one?


Bolly answers:
 
I am sorry that you are slow in development. 5 year old boys should be talking like 19 year olds. In any case, you might try an advanced technique to achieve your means. You start by asking your mom and dad to kiss you on either cheek. While their faces are in forward motion, with lips extended like suction cups, you slide your head out of the way. Completely oblivious of this change, your parents will continue the forward motion like two brain-dead zombies, to meet in the middle, causing a kiss to happen. A kiss on the lips is known to spontaneously produce a baby.


But whatever be said and done, I loved Hindi movies of 70s and 80s...they will always remain special to me.

We did it!!!

Very rarely does it feel good to be 35! Though there are so many things that I don't like about being 35, like, grey hair, wrinkled face, and bulging tummy; though being 35 you have to sacrifise large portions of cakes and settle for Kellogs K. Exercise becomes mandatory not to stay FIT but to ensure you don't put on further weight. Trusting someone becomes increasingly difficult. And to make matters worse, you are held RESPONSIBLE for everything at home and office and in between ( I mean when you are driving!)

But for the first time I felt absolutely great to be 35 and not 19-20, because unlike all of you 19-20s, I was THERE. On both the DAYS!

CRICKET has been my passion from the time I can remember. I remember sitting on my father's lap and watching Sunil Gavaskar playin on those B&W TVs that had shutters! I remember Rohan Gavaskar coming on the field and playing a few shots before the day's match would begin. I remember myself declaring firmly that I want to marry Sunil Gavaskar! And I remember that historic day in 1983 when I was jumping with joy seeing my elders jump realizing that we must have achieved something great otherwise my mother would never jump even to save herself from a hungry tiger! In 1983, I was old enough to understand we had done something great. In 2011, I am young enough to live the moment and bask in the glory understanding why what we have done is great!

After the disastrous loss in the semifinal of 1996 World Cup against Srilanka, and after all those allegations of match fixing, I had stopped watching cricket altogether and had distanced myself completely from the game I was so crazy about. I had my own reasons. In the 80s when I was introduced to this game, India in International cricket was the perfect underdog. Indian cricekters were paid a few pounds a day as daily allowance. No one expected them to win anything as big as the World Cup. This was an era where there were no corporate spnsors, no advertisements in between overs, and when news on cricket were only confiend to the sports column of the news papers. Given all that and more, when on a sunny day in the summer of '83, our MEN in white scripted a fairy tale, bringing down the team that carried the fort of cricket for too long, HISTORY was created. June 25'1983 changed India. It changed the way India was being looked at. It changed the way cricket was being looked at in India. But April 2'2011 was different. Unlike in '83, Team India was one of the heavyweights in the International Cricket. With #1 in Test and #2 in ODI rankings they were bookies favorites right from Day1. Things changed from 80s to the present and so did I. For me cricketers were no longer "heroes" whose picture hung on the wall of my room, whose newspaper clippings I would cut and paste on my scrapbook. No I grew up for all of that. I would still follow the Indian cricket team, still want them to succeed, but in a rather impersonal way. I had "emotionally" distanced myself from our MEN in BLUE. I would get excited when India would win, and depressed if they would lose, but only for a moment, after which I would just shrug and say "who cares?"

But not this time. THis time the teenager in me, the cricket-crazy part of me woke up from a deep coma. This World Cup session I was brimming with optimism that India would do justice to its rankings. THis World Cup I had full confidence on Dhoni and his team. This world cup I saw all the matches that India played and didnt just bother about the result at the end. This world cup I was "BLEEDING BLUE".

Right from the quarter final, every win did moisture my eyes. Every good shot was cheered by me, the same way I would cheer 15 years back. Yes, indeed, this time was different. And when off the last ball, Dhoni hit his iconic shot, my emotions were back. The hugs that followed, the cheer that followed, the tears that followed, the phone calls/smses that followed...all these and more said

Yes, this one matters!

It matters because it brought me back to my passion

It matters because it woke up the cricket-crazy me

It matters because it united the 1.2 billions across the world.

It matters because it made us realize we are Indians and not Mumbai Indians!

Yes, this one matters to me as I realized...the seven-year old still lives in me... JAI HIND!

Togetherness...

The two of us have been there all the way,
Sometimes together sometimes away.
Our smiles and laughter, our sorrows and pain
Would never be different ever again!

As kids we had different lives, strangers we were
Then gradually we became best friends forever
Our "forever" was short and we drifted apart
And got busy in separate lives looking for a new start

We both went through ups and downs, separated by fate
We both had fun, and enjoyed our "date"
May be deep down the heart, we missed each other
But were so busy in our lives, we just forgot to bother

Move on, we say, and move on, we do
I did move on, and so did you
But where exactly we moved, is what I wonder
When every moment I felt, that to you Ishould surrender

Did you feel similar? I think you would
I saw it in your eyes, something that you never could
Expression was never your strength, my friend
May be thats why our friendship did end?

We met like old friends meet in re-union
We looked into each others' eyes and just hit it on
Thats when I realized we were never apart
Thats when I figured, there was no new start

Ego did us apart, Love did re-unite
Youth showed greener pastures, Life showed the future bright
Let love rule now, and let the ego go
This time around, lets make the journey slow

Lots to be done, wounds to be healed
Hurts to be mended, Promises to be sealed
So hold the hands tight, and begin the journey with me
Together we were then, together we shall always be...

Woman of your life

She smiles when in pain to relieve you of the angst;
She cries out of joy and happiness,
She is your strength despite being weak herself;
She is the force behind everything you face.
She is the woman, the woman of your life...



As mother, she taught you the essence of life;
She fed you her dream and desire,
She stayed awake for nights, so that you could sleep well
She protected you from the harsh, glaring fire,
She is the woman, the woman of your life...



Your little sister, grew big and understood your worries;
She fought with the world for your right,
She is filled with pride for every achievement of yours;
No matter what, she'll always be there at your sight.
She is the woman, the woman of your life...



Your sweetheart dreams big for you, and reaches out to the stars;
Matching her steps with every step you take,
You get busy to make it big, and she waits patiently;
Letting everything of hers go, for your sake.
She is the woman, the woman of your life...



She comforts you in distress, and soothes you when you're upset;
She provides you with her confidence, when you are low,
She keeps quiet and looks bright, even when she is down;
So that you dont get a nasty blow,
She is the woman, the woman of your life...

She led her life as mother, sister, daughter and wife;
And you rewarded her with a Woman's Day, once a year,
But did you ever ask her when was the last time;
She lived like a woman, without any fear,
She is the woman, the woman of your life...

Love her everyday, let her know that you're there;
Dont take her for granted for her unconditional love,
Make her feel special every moment, and just not once a year;
Because, you are all that she will ever have,
She is the woman, the woman of your life...

Parents have a right to know!

"Tell me what exactly your job is. Go slowly, I have to write it down."

Declared my mom, on my recent visit to her place last weekend.

I hadn't switched employers or secured a promotion; I've been doing essentially the same work for five years. So why the sudden curiosity? Because my mom recently attended a wedding packed with inquisitive relatives. Relatives who appeared to be more interested in my career than they were in the bride and groom!

"Rontu/Rana/Pinky is doing great. He/she is a COO/PHD/VPP," they proudly declared. "So, how is Munai (my nick name)?. What did you say she does?", asked my mom's aunt's brother-in-law's neice at the wedding!

"Something with the computers," my mom answered at first stammering at every possible word and the gaps as well. "And HR, I think"

"That sounds nice," was a chorus, "but what exactly does she do?"

"Well, I am not too sure, but I know it is very important, she keeps travelling a lot due to her work. So, doesn't Shelly make a lovely bride?", said my mom hoping desperately that her conscious change of topic would go unnoticed.

"How could you not know what your own daughter does for a living?" they prodded, refusing to be distracted by something as inconsequential as the bride's appearance. "What is she -- some kind of spy -- that even her mother doesn't know what she is upto?"

... so, as a result of this conversation at the wedding where I was thankfully missing, I got confronted with the following on my visit to her...

"Everyone thinks you're with the CBI," my mom complained the moment I entered her place. "They kept me so busy with their questions, I almost missed my dessert (now, that is simply not done...how can they keep my 110kg mom away from dessert???). The only way I got to the hot gulab jamuns, was to promise to write and explain precisely what you do. So what do you do?"

For the next one hour I tried to describe my job and my mom grew more and more confused. Do other people have this problem, I wondered. So I decided to ask some friends.
"I just tell my folks I work with numbers," an econometrics expert told me. "It doesn't really satisfy them, but it's the best I can do."

"All my parents know is I work with lab rats," said a scientist friend whose job even I can't begin to describe.

"I do junk bond work," replied a securities attorney. "How would you like to explain that to your parents?"

The solution to this job generation gap came to me as I listened to the tenth description of an indescribable job. From now on, at least once a year, we should take our parents to work with us. After all, there's already an annual Take Our Kids To Work Day. But, shockingly, nobody has protested the exclusion of parents. Such blatant discrimination goes to the very essence of parenting -- parents' inalienable right to brag about their kids. And this I can vouch for. My mom also does a little, I accept, but only a little though. I have seen such brat parents in my lifetime (please excuse my slang for seniors, but I couldn't help it) who would just go on and on about how well their kids performed right from nursery to board meetings! irrespective of whether you lend them your ears or just snore away to glory. But nevertheless, I think, our parents deserve a day at our office, to find out what exactly we do. Its much better for us kids to give them demo rather than spend a futile hour trying to explain what the hell you really do! IBM, the company where i work for, has the concept of "Take Your Parents to Work" day, and very cleverly I had avoided pariticipating in such event every year. But this year I solemnly promise to take my mom so that she can explain, in her own words, to her ever inquisitive clan of relatives, what exactly do I do!

Imagine the educational benefit of parents sitting with their children at the conference table/laboratory/computer room. Witnessing their daughters' demos and their sons' presentations. Watching their offspring interact with bosses, clients, co-workers (both enemies and friends). Gazing as their progeny dodge phone calls, pound keyboards, glare at computer screens, and curse the invention of the fax machine.

There are risks, of course. Dad may cross-examine the boss about health insurance and the company's retirement plan. Mom may whip out a tape measure and compare office footage on her hands and knees. Both will conclude you're smarter than your boss and make sure to let him know it. And you can be sure that one of them will demand to know when you're getting a promotion.


But despite the risks, we owe it to our parents to expose them to our work environments. Besides, a discreetly whispered warning is usually all it takes to get parents to behave. The warning? ... well, here it goes...

"Mom, behave yourself in my office, because if you get me fired, I'll move back home."

Men will be men...

I accept I have led a very sheltered and protected existance. I accpet that I have never heard of the phrase "five second rule" until most men I know started using it as an excuse to eat any crumb, portion of edible treat that just dropped on the floor. Apparently most men, almost 99.99% of them believe that if you drop food on the floor and pick it up really really fast, then its absolutely safe to eat! They assume that the germs politely wait for five seconds, before they attach themselves to the goodies scattered on the floor. In fact, the belief is so widespread amongst them, that some scientists, who apparently didnt have anything better to do with their time, actually studied the issue. And yes, by the way, they concluded that the rule IS NOT valid.

By the way...did you really need me or those scientists to tell you that?! And I keep wondering how the scientists figured out this most difficult thing? I mean did they live on morsel off the ground for years as their experiment? Well, I dont know and neither am I interested to find that out. But I hope and pray, that all men I know and dont may stop eating food from the ground someday... but then, when will that day come?

Another great characteristic feature of men is that they are so very predictable in their roles as "HUSBAND". A man and a woman can agree almost on everything, but marry one of them, and the HUSBAND in him starts objecting everything that you do!...and that you dont! From temperature setting in AC to the remote control of the TV, they want to control it all. Irrespective of whether they have ever hold a cricket bat in their hand, or kicked a football in their life, they have to watch each and every match on the TV, more so when you have your serial coming up! Whats more, come weekend, and all they can think of is sprawling in front of that giant sports-spewing screen, devouring couch potato chips. Some of the sports he watches, I never knew they existed and wonder whether the satellite has caught some alien channels from some distant planet!

Another thing I just love in them is their jokes which are so very predictable, that you almost know from the beginning when to laugh! And they love to joke about women driving. As if its some rare skill that only men are capable of doing. Like I have heard of this "woman" umpteen number of times from many men...she is the WOMAN who drives her car while SHE is doing her make up, and looking at herself in the rear mirror, holding a conversation over the phone, and sometimes even muching on an apple while driving! Multitasking at its best, HER only agenda in life is to hit the car before her. 99.99% of men have a dent on their cars caused by this mysterious WOMAN and she has been observed driving this recklessly in all the cities in India atleast. I heard people complaining and joking about her in Kolkata, in Delhi, in Bangalore and where not! For the greater interest of the entire human race, I think this WOMAN needs to be caught and her driving license should get cancelled at once. Whats more she should be given a lifetime ban on appliying make up and having apple.

And till the time we can nail her down, can we sincerely request our male friends to come up with some different jokes on the driving skill of women please?