The Dark (yawwwwwwwwn) Knight

Nobody asked me to review the movie Dark Knight. So I am doing it.

p.s. : Infact A told me not to write it - So I am doing it all the more.

The Dark Knight is a deliciously wonderful movie for anybody who grew up reading Batman comics. I didn’t grow up reading Batman comics.

In fact, I don’t even understand Batman. What does Batman have in common with a bat other than the fact that they both are classified as mammals? He can’t fly. Nor can he generate ultrasonics. I was waiting throughout the movie for the Batman to hang upside down on a tree, he didn’t do that either. I was this close to demanding my money back (ok, thats an exaggeration, I didnt wantch it in theatre - i watched it on a pirated DVD available for 30 bucks in Gariahat - I was actually close to returning that DVD and exchanging it for a Himesh reshammiya soundtrack) . Also, have you ever seen a bat fight bad guys? You never did. You know why? Because they don’t. All they do is hang in some dark corner; and when you get up on a building, lean on the wall and throw a stone, they fly up and scratch your face. Hypothetically, I mean.

Ok, now that I have given you a lecture on bat and batman, let’s talk about the cast. First of all, Christian Bale doesn’t look like a bat. He looks more like a vulture. He did his best to act and in a couple of scenes he actually showed some expressions. I wish they didn’t make his mask so tight though. Every time he wore it, it pinched his throat and his voice became very hoarse. It’s got to be pretty darn annoying fighting bad guys while gasping for air.

There was this Joker too. He was amazing. Rest in peace, Mr. Ledger.

Most people don’t notice, but there is a heroine in the movie. I saw cadavers livelier than her and blank whiteboards more interesting than her face. She is like a decorative African art on a table - nobody knows why it is there and you won’t even notice it until it catches on fire. That is precisely what happens in the movie. She moves the story along only after she is dead.

I guess my biggest gripe with this movie is that batman is not even like a hero in the movie, forget superhero. Batman gets beat up, hit by a car, bitten by dogs, shot at and slammed into a wall - in the first five minutes. It gets worse after that. What is missing in the movie is Batman’s mother so he could run whimpering to his mommy every time Joker outwits him. And in a crowing moment of glory, batman ends the movie running away being chased by street dogs.

But whatever it is, i hope by now you have understood that what I am saying here is, overall, its a great movie...