This is one phrase i have read in many M&B books and even otherwise. I always found it very romantic. If some is still not sure about what I am saying here, well its kind of a marriage proposal... it goes on like this - I love you, I want to marry you, I wanna have kinds with you, I want to grow old with you...will u marry me? And then the girls gives a million dollar answer - Yes! (well a million-dollar answer I say bcos after that the guy ends up spending all his million dollars he has on her for the rest of their live, until death or divorce do them apart) But thats not the main point here. The main point is that phrase - I want to grow old with you.
Why all of a sudden am talking about this? Well simply because being in Vienna at the moment I am getting an opportunity to see a lot of elderly couples these days. They make a sweet pair. They are on their vacation, mostly alone, and they seem to be enjoying each others' company thoroughly. I get to meet them every day during the breakfast in the hotel. I particularly like them... because they hve indeed grown old with each other but are not bored of each other - something that I see in the elderly couples of our country, and that includes my parents, my in-laws as well. Are they not in love? Am sure they are, but they surely are not as expressive as these people from the otherside of the world are.
They hold hands and walk together - I have never seen my parents walking side by side, forget holding hands. Men in our country prefer walking atleast 100 miles ahead of their female counterparts! Check out on your parents, on your uncle-aunts, am sure you will notice this trend without any exception (and incase you do find any exception, please let me know - I would love to meet such a lovely couple in our country as well!) They sit together and have breakfast - our mothers have this tendency of feeding their "husbands" first! and the husbands also are too happy to have the meal before their wives! These elderly couples are enjoying theri lives...hassle free, tension free, roaming around the world. But look at our parents - can they even think of going for a vacation - only the two of them, leaving us behind? Oh am sure the mothers will dies at the thought of leaving their grown up kids, and the fathers will faint at the thought of being alone with their wives for 7-10 days! When circumstance forces them to travel together (and believe me, its mostly emergency not a vacation - like they going to their son or daughter's place who stay in a different city/country) - they travel as if they are absolute strangers!!! or enemies bonded together. The day I was travelling to Vienna from Kolkata, I met an aunty in the bus towrds the air-craft, who, according to herself was travelling with her husband to UK where her son stays, but believe me I couldnot even trace the uncle - Aunty was busy toking to me, she was excited as it was her first time, and when I asked her, "Are you traveeling alone", she said, "Na na, tomar kaku o ache amar shonge" - this is another amazing thing about our mothers and aunts - they will die but not call their husbands by their names! My mother wanted to pass this on to me, I had very politely(my version of politeness) refused! Anyways, coming back to this aunty, when she told me that "my kaku" was also there, I strated looking for him, then she said , "ei ekhanei kothao hobe"!
I see my father-in-law always shouting at my mother-in-law or scolding her when they are travelling together - as if she just cannot do anything right!
I love my India, but these are the things that disturbs me - we dont know how to respect another human being, more so if that human being is our better half! This is in our blood. We love to shout at each other. In the western part, they may have more divorces...but if they are together, they are in love. And if they are in love, and while they are in love, they treat each other well.
I learnt from this elderly couples, what it is like to grow old together gracefully and lovingly...not like growing old together because we have no options. In India coupls are like that...they are together because they have no options...are they still in love? They might like to ask this question to themselves.
Coming back to elderly couples, well, I like them immensely in this part of the world. They are indeed growing old together... God bless them.
And as I sit in my hotel room, all alone, writing this...I wonder silently... Will I really grow old with him...together? like these people out here...or will my mother be successful in passing on the heir... i wonder will i hold his hand when am walking on the road, or will he be miles ahead of me... i wonder will we call each other sweetheart and darling... or will we even not bother to call each other...
The more I wonder, the more Doris Day takes over me...Que Serra Serra...
Friday, August 28, 2009
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
7 comments:
Good perspective. Frankly speaking I never compared their togetherness with ours, because these are two different societies altogether. Growing older together is a nice scene to watch. Infact during European summer elders really know how to enjoy life. Only difference is they have to, because otherwise they are very alone. Off course they have their government with them. But one thing is sure; I sincerely hope these writings will be published beyond your blog readers some day.
Well written. I have seen this too. But i dont think this has anything to do with love but to do with the way we look at things. So probably you shouldnt read too much into this. As a society, we are averse to show of affection. And that gets displayed. Nothing to say which is good, which bad, just different ways of looking at things, i suppose. Though i liked what you wrote.
I agree to both of you. You hv a valid point- here we r talking abt d reasons - why it is the way it is - 1) as a society they believe in showing affection, 2)they hv to be together otherwise life for them is v lonely. Yep, good thoughts. Second reason bothers me on human nature - does that mean we stick together only when we get lonely? thats scary :-(
People who are full of themselves seldom need love, I feel. Which means that scary as it is, it is reality. When someone is very engrossed in something (say their work, or something they are doing which requires their full attention), then they arent thinking of love.
One reason the gentlemen are being nice is so they can have beer in peace?
This is getting interesting. Well self engrossed peopl... hmm... i knw there are many, but somehow i cannot relate with them. I personally feel LOVE is THE MOST important thing in life - that keeps you going... everything else is secondary to it. That mean I am passionate towards love. Similarly some may be passionate towards his/her work...yes, true. But here what I tried to explain is...if you are in love...then if you are brought up in the western society you will express it more than if u re from the Indian society.
N even Indian have beer without being half as expressive as their western counterparts - infact by your logic - they dont even need to as BEER is like drinking water/tea/coffee there... Then definitely Indian men should be more expressive, what say?
are you talking about expression?
Post a Comment