This is one of the most complicated aspect of life. And this is something that should have been the most simplest aspect of life. Human psychology is so damn complex. What we want we dont know, and this leads us to utter confusion.
Why am I babbling about this so late at night? When I see around myself, I dont see any couple happy with each other. Yes, I am talking about people I know, and true they are not enough to pass on a verdict for the entire world...but my world comprises of them. Am I really that unfortunate that couples I know, friends I care about... they dont seem to be happy with their partners at all?
Think of any possible disparity and I know someone or the other who is going through it at the moment. A friend of mine, got divorced recently. He wasnt happy when he was with his ex-wife, and he isnt happy now either...Is this love?
A firend of mine, having a lot of problems in her marriage... she thinks its worse than a broken family...they are together for the sake of thier child, but their togetherness is devoid of any meaning. They are not happy together, probably they wont be happy away from each other as well...Is this love?
A couple I know, are together, but keep on straying each other which is an open secret and probably an understanding amongst them. Apparently they are one happy family, but both the husband and the wife are having affairs outside their marriage. Is this love?
A colleague I know of, is having an extra marital affair with a widow and his wife has no clue about it. Is this love?
Another person I know is having a secret affair with her wife's best friend...and the wife doesnt have a clue about it...Is this love?
A long time friends of mine - I know of a couple who were madly in love, got married against all odds and now the guy is having an affair elsewhere. The wife knows but is quiet...Is this love?
Another firend of mine, though claims to be a perfect husband, wants to have an affair with his one-time girl-friend - an "affair" mind you...he doesnt want to marry her or anything - he wants to "sail" on both the boats... Is this love?
One of my acquaintance recently ommitted a suicide... am out of touch with him for long now, but other firends who were close told me that it has to do with his wife. Is this love?
A friend of mine is getting attracted to another guy outside her marriage as the "other" guy reminds her of her ex-boy friend! Ridiculous...Is this love?
And since all these above examples are from my firends circle - one can very well imagine that am talking about couples who have been together for minimum 10 years! Most of them have had love marriages... most of them "chose" to spend their lives with the chosen partner...n now this!
What do we look for, in a relationship? I think we ourselves are not sure what our expectations are - so we really cannot blame the other person for matching upto them. I want to ask all these friends of mine...why are they spoiling their lives like this? If they dont think they are spoiling their lives...then I want to ask them...why are they shattering my faith on "love"...why why why?
Am really heart broken now... I want to meet people who are happy in love...who are good examples of "love" and "relationships". Need some positivity to sustain my belief in "love". As I begin to "end" another day of my life... I pray to God, please show me one "true" love...a love that culminates into perfect bliss every moment...a relationship that has sustained many oddities and is still going strong... a love that is pure and makes two individuals proud of its existance. Let me re-affirm my belief that "love" is the only thing that gets you going...love that is selfless, egoless and makes you strong. Love is like "oxygen" - you just cannot live without it...let us have this oxygen in its purest form, God...
Today, am really hurt broken - result of an internal turmoil for long... need God to intervene and restore my faith. Show me one genuine relationship God...show me soon.
Monday, October 26, 2009
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9 comments:
Love is an expression in a situation and in a particular context. It is not permanent. When human life is a temporary phase, we cant expect an emotion to be permanent. When love gets translated to marriage, the 'give and take' aspect falls in place. And when there is a give and take in any relationship; discomfort and misunderstanding is bound to come. If we want a relationship without those components, probably that is not possible in the material world. No other relationship can be broken so easily other than marriage, as marriage is a human initiated relationship. So some people think they will be better off if they get divorced, and then realize that after that also they are not happy. Bottomline is not in the relationship; it is in human want. Most of us do not know what we want. Instead of trying to know that we tend to blame a created relationship. LOVE is beyond any relationship, and relationships should have well defined give and take. Then there will be no mismatch. LOVE and RELATIONSHIP are not at all proportional; that is illusion.
I like your thought - and the way you have put it put here. I agree that we human beings make a mess of love and relationships sometimes, and by the time we realize it, probably it is too late.
@Anonymous - Qs is not whats the equation btw Love and Relationships - Qs is what we human beings want out of both? And like we both agreed, probably we arent even sure of what we want. Its our ego that equates give-n-take in all relationships...relationships can also be selfless just as love - thats how it should be. When both the partners believe in this - you ultimately have give-n-take in relationships as well... but that doesnt get reviewed and compared with your "wants" - as you have none. Anyways... no matter what is the reason...but it hurts terribly to see all this around...
Yes it definitely hurts seeing these around. Difficult, but only advise that we can give us is let us control our emotions not the vice versa
Thanks for your advise
The comments make sense. Let us not be slaves of emotions not the other way round.
Apart from Richards, dont know the Gender of the other "Anonymous"...but somehow I feel they are "Male"...do let me know if am wrong. Need to learn the "Art" of controlling emotions...any volunteer who can teach me? :-)
Its about understanding that we are much more than our emotions. Emotions may make a large part of us but they dont completely define us. We can see this by analyzing that emotions come from thoughts, and thoughts come from something inside us which is not our emotions.
Deepmala here.
Your post seems to be more around marriage than love which gives the feeling that you think that love is marriage if not the other way round.
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