If your husband ever invites you to join him on one of his business trips, think twice. Or at least be sure to ask him these questions:
1. Will you ever get to see him apart from when he is…technically…sleeping?
2. What will he do, if you accidentally lock yourself out of your hotel room in the middle of the night while you are not…technically…dressed?
Unfortunately Saina neither thought twice nor asked these questions when her husband Neil invited her to join him on a week-long business trip in xxxx. Why xxxx? Because it does not matter where you are…it will just be the same. Anyways, coming back to the main point, since Saina did not ask these questions to Neil before setting out, she had to get the answers the hard way:
1. No
2. He will remain…technically…asleep.
Saina, a middle aged, happy go lucky, housewife-cum-fancying-to-be-author with acute addiction to cappuccino and the on-line life was excited to get such an invitation from her husband which was so unexpected and made her feel so special. She even did go back to her college time romancing days and winked and blushed like the stupid teenage girl she had then been. Apart from the “teen-age” part she is exactly the same even now. With lot of excitement and after packing enough gear for a year she set out brimming with joy alongside her husband with a lot of dreams and hopes for this week-long trip to xxxx.
They checked in late the first night, and the accommodations (thought paid by Neil’s client) were luxurious. But Saina, too hooked on to the net, gave no thought to the lovely hotel, or the sites and sounds around. While Neil unpacked, requested a wake-up call, and ooohed and aahed at the view, Saina was busy getting a modem connection. Only one view mattered to her…the blank screen on her laptop.
At last, she had her computer set up. Neil had already called it a day and with the sound of his snore as the background score, Saina began to relax, happy in the knowledge that any minute she’d… What’s this? An error message?! What did they mean “no dial tone”?!!!
It has to be some mistake, Saina told herself, as she tried to sign on again and again and again. After some multiple dozens of failed attempts, she even violated her “don’t crawl on a strange rug” rule. Struggling to reach the wall behind the desk and the bed, she squeezed her arm into places it didn’t belong, pulling, pushing and tugging at anything that looked relevant under the circumstance. She was desperately trying to spot a loose connection, that is apart from the one in her brain. Now, a normal person would have probably given up and gone to bed after 50, 60 or 70 failed attempts to sign on-line (Neil had been asleep nearly an hour by this time). But the more disconnects she got, the more determined she was to access her net account. So she kept on persisting, all the while cursing her computer, the hotel, her husband’s client, her husband, and her neighbor’s pet as well!
Then suddenly it hit her…kind of revelation one get only way past midnight, that she would phone the concierge, and that he would do some concierge type thing and get it fixed. So she picked up the phone, and guess what? It was as dead as her modem. As she was trying to guess whether she was personally being singled out for email deprivation or whether she was just a part of the whole lot of unfortunates in the hotel, she heard a sound in the hall!
Eager to find out if anyone else had the same problem, and forgetting that her attire (or the lack of it) would get her arrested in many countries including where she was now, she rushed out the door, wedging it open with a shoe. The sounds were coming from the next room, whose door was ajar.
“Do you have phone service?” Saina asked a female guest, who was still gripping her luggage.
She didn’t answer, instead she stared at Saina blankly. She has every reason for it, probably wondering why some barefoot, barely clad, crazy, middle-aged woman was standing in her door way at 3 a.m.
“Do you have phone service?” Saina repeated.
“No speak English,” said she, as she put down her luggage and looked around the room possibly for a weapon. Now desperate, Saina attempted to mime talking on the phone. But she apparently didn’t speak mime either.
At this point, Saina did something that can be either characterized as “Sainaistic” or “Insane”; She strode into her room, walked right past her towards the far end, and picked up the phone on the desk. It was dead. “Good,” thought Saina, for you need a phone to get someone arrested for trespass.
Saina put the receiver down and belated began to apologize. But the woman ignored her. She was embroiled some incorrigible dialogue with a man (her husband?) who had apparently been in the bathroom when Saina invaded their room and the woman walked in.
Saina quickly crossed their room, hoping in desperation that they wouldn’t try to stop her and praying that they understood the meaning of “sorry”.
Finally she made it out of there, and they slammed the door behind her. Relieved, she turned towards her own room and, after tripping over her failed wedge show, she discovered another shut door…her own!
20 minutes of door pounding and later, and she was still stranded in the hall, and Neil (who according to Saina can sleep through anything) proved her right and was still sound asleep.
She probably would have continued with the futile pounding going by her stubborn nature, but adding the crime of “destroying the peace” to “trespass” didn’t seem quite wise to her. She reasoned, after all, getting thrown out of the hotel probably wouldn’t go too well with Neil’s client and wouldn’t help his consultant/client relations.
Weighing the other option of taking the elevator downstairs and begging the concierge for a key dressed the way she was, she started down the hall way, moving as quickly as she could manage, and praying she wouldn’t meet anyone en’ route. Fortunately every reasonable sane person was asleep by then. So the halls and the elevator were empty. She was so relieved that she actually didn’t mind the strange looks from the couple getting on as she was getting off the elevator; or, for that matter, the amused grin from the concierge when she told him that she needed help.
“Phone problems?” he asked, looking her up and down.
“For starters” she answered.
"Sorry, everything's down at least until late morning. Anything else I can do for you?"
"Yes, I locked myself out of my room. Could you...?"
"Yes, I can see you did. Hold on and I'll get my keys."
"This is very embarrassing."
He took another look and grinned again. "No problem. I've seen a lot worse."
Throughout the journey to her room, the guy regaled Saina with the tales of locked-out guests stranded in garb that made her appear ready for a full dress ball. Then he placed his key in the door and said, "Do you have any ID?"
“What?” she said, panicking? “Where would I…”
"Just kidding," he said as he unlocked the door.
Safely back in her room, she found Neil sound asleep. Exhausted and angry, she stared at him, willing him awake.
Suddenly Neil sat up! “What is it?” he asked.
“Didn’t you notice I was gone?!!!”
"What are you talking about? One sec. I have to go to the bathroom."
"What were you saying?" Neil said as he climbed back into bed.
"Never mind. But you should set your alarm. The phones are broken, and you probably won't get that wake-up call."
"Thanks," he said as he fiddled with the clock and lay back down to sleep. "What did you do to their phones?" he added just before he began to snore.
Wednesday, February 17, 2010
Now, where have I read this before???
Before blogging about how I lost my mobile, let me mention this article that I came across in one of these women mags in the flight. The article was about "Spring: Clean your winter blues"...aha! Spring has ultimately arrived. Now Spring, in our part of the world is very short lived indeed, and so is the guilt of "not" cleaning up. Do you feel guilty yet, with the arrival of spring that is? If not, you apparently dont read women's magazines. Every Feb-Mar editions of these magazines are packed with "clean up and organize your life" articles. Stories with catchy titles like "Spring Into Action -- Tidy Up Your House". Or "Wash Away Winter Blues". In short what it means is ... Banish Clutter Now; Otherwise We'll Keep Torturing You With Articles Meant to Make you Feel Like A Slothful Bum.
Personally, I'd rather love to read something on the line of... Why Clean In The First Place? It Will Only Get Dirty Again Tomorrow. Alas, these women mags are just not my taste!
While reading the article trying to supress my yawn, I wondered why do magazines publish such articles? Because every spring zillions of women have the same response: Guilt. Guilt quickly followed by a spending spree on periodicals and cleaning supplies. They grab every magazine in the town and, in a fit of post-New Year's resolution fervor, vow to give a make-over to their homes in Twinkle Khanna style! But do these articles help? Hahahaha. Pardon me -- I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were serious. All these stories share one fatal flaw ... apart from the fact that they relate to boring housework. The problem is, they are all the same article. It's hard to believe, but true. While our film directors are expected to vary their offerinngs atleast slightly from one movie to another, authors specializing in the spring cleaning genre recycle the same 100 or so tips year after year after year!!! Injustice, I say!
Just a month ago archaeologists, who were excavating a cave somewhere in Europe, discovered a minute remnant of what they believe to be the world's first spring cleaning advise. The very few words they managed to unearth are as vital today as they were way back in those Era: "Hose down dinosaur dung." In fact, those exact words appeared in several magazines sold this very year. Sadly, though, the original author had a lousy lawyer and never got a penny in royalties. Moreover, Biblical historians are convinced that the Old Testament contained at least two chapters filled with spring cleaning counsel. Alas, only a small fragment remains today: "Slaughter Red Sea stains with..." If only we knew what came next.
Over the years women have dominated the spring cleaning literature, and men didnt get a slightest chance of breaking in. Now, feminists have something in their kitty to feel proud of. I have heard that even Shakespearre is said to have never recovered from the rejection of his "To Clean Or Not To Clean. That is the Question" syndromme. Out of sheer frustation he came up with "To Be Or Not To Be. That is the Question" edition. So you see, while Shakespeare was forced to explore other writing avenues, women's writing has always bloomed with the cleaning rites of spring. Who can forget Louisa May Alcott's charming novel which begins "Springtime won't be springtime without cleaning supplies."
Just once I would like to see a spring cleaning article in a men's magazine. Until I do, I refuse to let a magazine article induce me to scrub, mop, or sweep.
Personally, I'd rather love to read something on the line of... Why Clean In The First Place? It Will Only Get Dirty Again Tomorrow. Alas, these women mags are just not my taste!
While reading the article trying to supress my yawn, I wondered why do magazines publish such articles? Because every spring zillions of women have the same response: Guilt. Guilt quickly followed by a spending spree on periodicals and cleaning supplies. They grab every magazine in the town and, in a fit of post-New Year's resolution fervor, vow to give a make-over to their homes in Twinkle Khanna style! But do these articles help? Hahahaha. Pardon me -- I'm sorry. I didn't realize you were serious. All these stories share one fatal flaw ... apart from the fact that they relate to boring housework. The problem is, they are all the same article. It's hard to believe, but true. While our film directors are expected to vary their offerinngs atleast slightly from one movie to another, authors specializing in the spring cleaning genre recycle the same 100 or so tips year after year after year!!! Injustice, I say!
Just a month ago archaeologists, who were excavating a cave somewhere in Europe, discovered a minute remnant of what they believe to be the world's first spring cleaning advise. The very few words they managed to unearth are as vital today as they were way back in those Era: "Hose down dinosaur dung." In fact, those exact words appeared in several magazines sold this very year. Sadly, though, the original author had a lousy lawyer and never got a penny in royalties. Moreover, Biblical historians are convinced that the Old Testament contained at least two chapters filled with spring cleaning counsel. Alas, only a small fragment remains today: "Slaughter Red Sea stains with..." If only we knew what came next.
Over the years women have dominated the spring cleaning literature, and men didnt get a slightest chance of breaking in. Now, feminists have something in their kitty to feel proud of. I have heard that even Shakespearre is said to have never recovered from the rejection of his "To Clean Or Not To Clean. That is the Question" syndromme. Out of sheer frustation he came up with "To Be Or Not To Be. That is the Question" edition. So you see, while Shakespeare was forced to explore other writing avenues, women's writing has always bloomed with the cleaning rites of spring. Who can forget Louisa May Alcott's charming novel which begins "Springtime won't be springtime without cleaning supplies."
Just once I would like to see a spring cleaning article in a men's magazine. Until I do, I refuse to let a magazine article induce me to scrub, mop, or sweep.
Tuesday, February 16, 2010
Absolute Pampering!
I actually have to blog about how I lost my mobile at the Bangalore Airport. But that can wait as I found a better topic to blog about. This time in Bangalore am staying at ITC Windsor, an absolute delight and am enjoying every moment of it (even though they believe in "apeing the west" when it comes to their bathrooms). The entire ambience is so wonderful that I am ready to compromise on the bathroom part without cribbing. I am bowled over by ITC yet again, this time even more, as I am staying here alone and they have given me a room in an all-women-floor with the room being epitome of a woman's paradise. Each and every need of a woman has been delicately taken care of. And I felt wonderful entering the room. This goes without saying that the general amenities or the common luxuries remain much the same. Am not getting into the details of their lobby, or reception area or the main dinning place. But what am really impressed about is the minute details they have taken care of in this room specially for women. Like the floor has a check point in the entrance which means no body apart from the guests occupying the rooms can enter the floor as you have to swipe in your card there. Not that I am threatened to stay in hotels but I might add here, I felt safe and secure and special as well. Then the room has a screen which tells you who has knocked on your door everytime you have a visitor (not that you have much). Mostly female attandants come to serve you, but if at all a male attendant comes (for eg the porter), he is always accompanied by a female staff. These are small things, it doesnt matter if you dont get these services, but it matters a lot if you do, you feel very special indeed.
Apart from these, the room is full of these small necessities that a woman would have, and things that only a woman can appreciate and yes, am all praise for ITC. Their marketting strategy is going quite well with me atleast, and I plan to visit them again and again.
Ah, did I mention that they have these amazing soothing oils that puts you off to sleep instantaneously? Not that I need them to sleep anyways, but I must admit I had a different experience of sleeping here.
Now the most important thing...the food! They have an amazing spread of breakfast and I indluged myself completely without worrying about my health or weight. Today I had Upma and the moment I opened the lid of the container I gould smell pure ghee in abundance! I had veg cutlet which was so so. I had chicken dumplings and am still craving for them and eagerly waiting for tomorrow morning. The french toast was soft and just perfect. The juice was fresh and whats more they also served sweet lassi which I just couldnt resist. I was very tempted to order for an omlette from the live counter but thought of pending the idea for 24 hours. I must have added 2 kgs already but they are well deserved.
So what am trying to say here is, I am loving every moment of my stay in ITC Windsor, wish my daughter was here with me.
Apart from these, the room is full of these small necessities that a woman would have, and things that only a woman can appreciate and yes, am all praise for ITC. Their marketting strategy is going quite well with me atleast, and I plan to visit them again and again.
Ah, did I mention that they have these amazing soothing oils that puts you off to sleep instantaneously? Not that I need them to sleep anyways, but I must admit I had a different experience of sleeping here.
Now the most important thing...the food! They have an amazing spread of breakfast and I indluged myself completely without worrying about my health or weight. Today I had Upma and the moment I opened the lid of the container I gould smell pure ghee in abundance! I had veg cutlet which was so so. I had chicken dumplings and am still craving for them and eagerly waiting for tomorrow morning. The french toast was soft and just perfect. The juice was fresh and whats more they also served sweet lassi which I just couldnt resist. I was very tempted to order for an omlette from the live counter but thought of pending the idea for 24 hours. I must have added 2 kgs already but they are well deserved.
So what am trying to say here is, I am loving every moment of my stay in ITC Windsor, wish my daughter was here with me.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Money=Monkey if you mis use it
How much is 4 lakh out of 500 crore? Right at the moment am not too sure how many 0's are there in 500 crore though, but my common sense tells me it would not be more than 0.05%. So for someone who has 500 crore, what is 4 lakhs for him? I have 4 lakhs rupees as my asset so probably what 200/ is to me is what 4 lakh rs is to the great Haldiram co-owner Prabhu Shankar Agarwal!
If I want a plot of land where someone else is already having a set up that earns him livelihood, will I offer him 200/??? and then if he refuses I will arrange for his murder?! Unbelievable!!!
But such are the rich people of our country! Want to ask great Mr Agarwal, if he really wanted that place to increase his income atleast 40-60 times, why could he not offer Pramod Sharma Thakur something around 4 crore? I dont know whether the latter would have agreed or not, but that is beyond the scope of discussion right now. All I am asking is the great Mr. Agarwal could only think of letting go of 0.05% of his asset to acquire someone else' s land where he planned to set up a multistoreyed food mall. Does he think "money" could buy him everything? May be he thought "money" could save him from getting punished as well? Well am glad that he has been sentenced for life-time! he deserves every bit of it and more.
This incident makes me wonder...does money make us "inhuman". How much more is just "enough" for us. Do we have this beastly attitude in each one of us? Tell me for instance, dont you bargain for 20/ with your vegetable vendor? Why do you do that? What is 20/ ruppes for you, who probably earns minimum 50,000/ a month? but still most of us will think twice before raising our maid's salary, or bargain our heart out for reducing 50/ in grocery? We go out over a weekend and spend 1000/ just like that watching movie and munching popcorn in the multiplex, but...we hate it when our driver asks for a 500/ raise after working for you for 1 year may be. If at night an auto driver asks for double the rate you preach him on 'honesty" etal...have we ever wondered how much of honesty do we have? If you have to have your passport renewed and the official asks for bribe, you give... you give because passport is required. Where does your "honesty" go when you bribe someone, or manipulate something.
Dear firends, I think we all have more than enough resources at our disposal. We dont need more, definitely not at the cost of supressing, exploiting others. So next time when you go buy vegetable from your local vendor pay him 50/ more, he will bless you. That 50/ may not mean much to you but for him it may be one square meal for his family. Give 20/ extra to an auto driver without being asked, common you spend much more on your luxuries! Dont let money make you a monkey. Be thankful for what you have and try to make atleast one person who is worse off than you happy everyday. There is more happiness in giving than in getting, or owrse, in snatching. Go enjoy that real happiness
If I want a plot of land where someone else is already having a set up that earns him livelihood, will I offer him 200/??? and then if he refuses I will arrange for his murder?! Unbelievable!!!
But such are the rich people of our country! Want to ask great Mr Agarwal, if he really wanted that place to increase his income atleast 40-60 times, why could he not offer Pramod Sharma Thakur something around 4 crore? I dont know whether the latter would have agreed or not, but that is beyond the scope of discussion right now. All I am asking is the great Mr. Agarwal could only think of letting go of 0.05% of his asset to acquire someone else' s land where he planned to set up a multistoreyed food mall. Does he think "money" could buy him everything? May be he thought "money" could save him from getting punished as well? Well am glad that he has been sentenced for life-time! he deserves every bit of it and more.
This incident makes me wonder...does money make us "inhuman". How much more is just "enough" for us. Do we have this beastly attitude in each one of us? Tell me for instance, dont you bargain for 20/ with your vegetable vendor? Why do you do that? What is 20/ ruppes for you, who probably earns minimum 50,000/ a month? but still most of us will think twice before raising our maid's salary, or bargain our heart out for reducing 50/ in grocery? We go out over a weekend and spend 1000/ just like that watching movie and munching popcorn in the multiplex, but...we hate it when our driver asks for a 500/ raise after working for you for 1 year may be. If at night an auto driver asks for double the rate you preach him on 'honesty" etal...have we ever wondered how much of honesty do we have? If you have to have your passport renewed and the official asks for bribe, you give... you give because passport is required. Where does your "honesty" go when you bribe someone, or manipulate something.
Dear firends, I think we all have more than enough resources at our disposal. We dont need more, definitely not at the cost of supressing, exploiting others. So next time when you go buy vegetable from your local vendor pay him 50/ more, he will bless you. That 50/ may not mean much to you but for him it may be one square meal for his family. Give 20/ extra to an auto driver without being asked, common you spend much more on your luxuries! Dont let money make you a monkey. Be thankful for what you have and try to make atleast one person who is worse off than you happy everyday. There is more happiness in giving than in getting, or owrse, in snatching. Go enjoy that real happiness
Western Ape
Hotels like The Park, Ista impress me a lot. For that matter any 4-5 star hotels in our country do. Courtesy IBM, I get to stay in a lot of these hotels. Infact if I were my friend or neighbour instead of being ME then probably I would have been envious. After a second thought, let go of "probably". But because I am ME and not my neighbour or friend, I feel pathetic! Why? Let me explain.
Imagine a grand 5-star hotel reception. You are in awe of the place as you enter, probably miss a step or two as well. A polite well-dressed receptionist with a plastic smile greets you with a "Namaskar" and you feel proud to be an Indian. You feel proud that your country has such magnificient monuments, oops, I mean hotels. And brimming with this sense of pride you follow your personal floor manager to your room. Ah the room is just made up of your dream...yes dream, more so, if you are born and brought up in a middle class family. You eagerly wait for the manager to leave you alone with your dream, and he does giving another plastic smile.
The scene so far is nice. But the misery comes when you enter the bathroom. Bathroom is again made up of dreams, and the only thing that you can do comfortably in there, is probably sleeping, and...dreaming. I mean what else? It has a marble flooring expensive bath tub where u can lie down, sleep and dream, but unfortunately it doesn't have a toilet with proper amenities so that you can wash yourself...again the kind of practise you have followed ever since your childhood!
Now if I am abroad I know I cant expect such a toilet because people there are not used to the same. But in my own country?!!! And that too after shelling out around 8k per night?! I mean why? I dread staying in a 5 star only because of this. I would not be jealous of myself if I were not ME only because of this.
My question to all these 5 star hotels...why being in India are you aping West? Why cant we have the right to "wash" ourselves after toilet like most Indians do? Why are we "forced" to use the "Toilet Papers" instead? I appreciate the fact that probably most of their business come from the foreigners who visit India, but can't they have both the facilities (if at all having toilet rolls can be termed a "facility") simultaneously? Why deprive us Indians our small n big habits for your foreign earnings?
Imagine a grand 5-star hotel reception. You are in awe of the place as you enter, probably miss a step or two as well. A polite well-dressed receptionist with a plastic smile greets you with a "Namaskar" and you feel proud to be an Indian. You feel proud that your country has such magnificient monuments, oops, I mean hotels. And brimming with this sense of pride you follow your personal floor manager to your room. Ah the room is just made up of your dream...yes dream, more so, if you are born and brought up in a middle class family. You eagerly wait for the manager to leave you alone with your dream, and he does giving another plastic smile.
The scene so far is nice. But the misery comes when you enter the bathroom. Bathroom is again made up of dreams, and the only thing that you can do comfortably in there, is probably sleeping, and...dreaming. I mean what else? It has a marble flooring expensive bath tub where u can lie down, sleep and dream, but unfortunately it doesn't have a toilet with proper amenities so that you can wash yourself...again the kind of practise you have followed ever since your childhood!
Now if I am abroad I know I cant expect such a toilet because people there are not used to the same. But in my own country?!!! And that too after shelling out around 8k per night?! I mean why? I dread staying in a 5 star only because of this. I would not be jealous of myself if I were not ME only because of this.
My question to all these 5 star hotels...why being in India are you aping West? Why cant we have the right to "wash" ourselves after toilet like most Indians do? Why are we "forced" to use the "Toilet Papers" instead? I appreciate the fact that probably most of their business come from the foreigners who visit India, but can't they have both the facilities (if at all having toilet rolls can be termed a "facility") simultaneously? Why deprive us Indians our small n big habits for your foreign earnings?
Monday, January 25, 2010
Aman Ki Asha!
Quite an initiative, though it interested me the least as I said earlier. However, why am I mentioning this again is...though artists of both the countries are performing on the same stage across borders (initiative taken by TOI), The Pakistani cricketers are not playing in IPL this year... I am not going into the details of why or why not they are playing in IPL and blah blah... but all am I saying is an "unrealistic" project like "Aman Ki Asha" is waste of everything mortal...time, energy, resources and hopes!
You pay the artists they sing and dance for us, they give lofty speech and take accolades away. And then we have news on border terrorism every alternate day, we have news on Pakistani players not playing in IPL and all such thing...in the same newspaper that advertises their concerts and events...tell me, tell me, where is the "Aman"...or is it only "Asha" which will stay an "Asha" forever?
You pay the artists they sing and dance for us, they give lofty speech and take accolades away. And then we have news on border terrorism every alternate day, we have news on Pakistani players not playing in IPL and all such thing...in the same newspaper that advertises their concerts and events...tell me, tell me, where is the "Aman"...or is it only "Asha" which will stay an "Asha" forever?
Thursday, January 14, 2010
Housewives and Homemaker
In the 70s, our mothers were all "housewives" (not a hmemaker, since hat term not yet come in vogue then). They were busy caring for us toddlers, and take care of the household activities. They also used to host parties for their husbands' bosses and colleagues, not because they loved it all the times, but more because they had no choice. Their husbands would call them and declare, "my boss and 5 other people coming for dinner tonight"...not a request but more of a command, and the next thing you know the wives are busy planning, shopping, scrubbing, polishing, decorating, cooking, and stressing out. Naturally, none of this work is compensated in any way. At the end of the dinner party, the husband's boss turns to the housewife with a condescending smile and says, "This was really quite a spread that you put on. It's nice that you have something to keep you busy."!!!
If you are born in the 70s, you would have seen your mother be at her husband's beck and call for massive unpaid projects such as this. And you would become a feminist early on because, even as a little girl, you would be sick and tired of seeing your mother being regularly treated with an enormous lack of respect. And not only hosting parties, so many rituals our mothers were supposed to do just based on their gender. Now that I am a 34 year old married woman juggling my career and family, I wonder why one part of the society would always be the victim of "lack of respect". Now, a lack of respect is probably inevitable when a class has no money, no power, and no public voice. But our mothers...many of them have had a good educational background, came from respectable families but then why, just because they were women, even worse, housewives, they had to go through millions of big and small humiliations? So much so, that most of them probably didnt even think of them as humiliations? Women being taken for granted became inevitable in and around the 70s when they were simply doing something they had little choice in.
My personal observation is that the status of "housewives...homemakers" has improved with the rise of feminism in our country (note, am talking mostly about the educated, middle/upper middle class society). Even the relatively modern term "homemaker" evinces a recognition that women who cook and clean and sew and decorate and budget and care for children are more than just wives who stay at home. Today, homemakers are more powerful than ever before. They are more organized, more outspoken in the public sphere, and more likely to have educations and careers that make them less dependent on their husbands than in the past. They are less likely to be disregarded or excluded from the conversation or treated condescendingly if politics or other Important Subjects arise. They are less likely to be taken for granted since they have other options. So things are definitely getting better for women. I know of certain aunties who, despite having good education, could never have a career of her own as her husband was worried about the chilren's upbringing in the "absense of their mother at home". I know of an uncle who proudly states at each and every party that he attends that he has never let his wife work because he could always "afford" whatever furnitures his wife wanted to buy! (as if aunty would have worked only to buy furnitures)...
I am glad that I am born in an age where people dont raise eyebrow because I am a career woman (even if they do, it hardly matters as my family supports me thick and thin). Today homemakers are much more than housewives... they are like this juggler who balances everything with great ease. In todays age, there are planty of stay-at-home mothers for whom such a decision is entirely voluntary and not being forced upon. All I am trying to emphasize on, here, is that the furtherance of women's equality in all spheres of life will help to make homemaking a truly voluntary choice and will thereby also raise the status of all women. And this has happened to a great extent, thanks to the rise of feminism. After all feminism is not any extremist operation. It is just a way of socially upgrading the status of women and helping them realize their true value and potential.
Womanhood is a celebration...so celebrate it. Embrace it with love and dignity... and stop taking things which your heart doesnt allow you to. Break free... Homemaker or a career woman...it is and should be "your choice" and not imposed on you by any third person singular number!
If you are born in the 70s, you would have seen your mother be at her husband's beck and call for massive unpaid projects such as this. And you would become a feminist early on because, even as a little girl, you would be sick and tired of seeing your mother being regularly treated with an enormous lack of respect. And not only hosting parties, so many rituals our mothers were supposed to do just based on their gender. Now that I am a 34 year old married woman juggling my career and family, I wonder why one part of the society would always be the victim of "lack of respect". Now, a lack of respect is probably inevitable when a class has no money, no power, and no public voice. But our mothers...many of them have had a good educational background, came from respectable families but then why, just because they were women, even worse, housewives, they had to go through millions of big and small humiliations? So much so, that most of them probably didnt even think of them as humiliations? Women being taken for granted became inevitable in and around the 70s when they were simply doing something they had little choice in.
My personal observation is that the status of "housewives...homemakers" has improved with the rise of feminism in our country (note, am talking mostly about the educated, middle/upper middle class society). Even the relatively modern term "homemaker" evinces a recognition that women who cook and clean and sew and decorate and budget and care for children are more than just wives who stay at home. Today, homemakers are more powerful than ever before. They are more organized, more outspoken in the public sphere, and more likely to have educations and careers that make them less dependent on their husbands than in the past. They are less likely to be disregarded or excluded from the conversation or treated condescendingly if politics or other Important Subjects arise. They are less likely to be taken for granted since they have other options. So things are definitely getting better for women. I know of certain aunties who, despite having good education, could never have a career of her own as her husband was worried about the chilren's upbringing in the "absense of their mother at home". I know of an uncle who proudly states at each and every party that he attends that he has never let his wife work because he could always "afford" whatever furnitures his wife wanted to buy! (as if aunty would have worked only to buy furnitures)...
I am glad that I am born in an age where people dont raise eyebrow because I am a career woman (even if they do, it hardly matters as my family supports me thick and thin). Today homemakers are much more than housewives... they are like this juggler who balances everything with great ease. In todays age, there are planty of stay-at-home mothers for whom such a decision is entirely voluntary and not being forced upon. All I am trying to emphasize on, here, is that the furtherance of women's equality in all spheres of life will help to make homemaking a truly voluntary choice and will thereby also raise the status of all women. And this has happened to a great extent, thanks to the rise of feminism. After all feminism is not any extremist operation. It is just a way of socially upgrading the status of women and helping them realize their true value and potential.
Womanhood is a celebration...so celebrate it. Embrace it with love and dignity... and stop taking things which your heart doesnt allow you to. Break free... Homemaker or a career woman...it is and should be "your choice" and not imposed on you by any third person singular number!
Wednesday, January 13, 2010
Emotional Atyachaar
My morning begins with Times Of India...well actually it begins with a yawn, followed by internal Shakespearrean conflict of "to get up or not to get up"...but after I get up...or pushed from my bed literally...my day begins with TOI. And when I began my morning on the first day of a new decade, my eyes fell upon the first page of the TOI, I chancedupon the announcement of a new initiave : Aman ki Aasha (read, emotional atyachaar)
I dont drink, so I really dont know what a hangover on the 1st of January is, but am sure it could not be any different from what I was going through reading that page. Accepted and understood that we entered a new decade, accepted and understood that we need to be different. Accepted and understood that life moves on and that "to err is human and to forgive is divine"...but the past decade that witnessed so much of terrorism, started with the attacks on our Parliament and ended with 26/11 and with so many lives getting affected, I want to move on but dont want to "forgive". I respect Gandhiji, but dont agree with giving away my other cheek for free to slap if someone finds me worthy of slapping!!! I may not slap back, agreed...but I will definitely remeber his slap forever unless I suffer from what Amitabh Bacchan suffered in "BLACK". Also Aman ki Asha, and bridging gap between the two countries...well atleast I dont have the guts to talk about these infront of Khushboo Jha or say the Kashmiri Pundits. I didnt quite find it interesting or even worth reading... rather my mind was more concentrating on what could have been saved if Aman ki Asha was not there.
First and foremost, we could save our environment...look at the amount of paper we are wasting on this "initiative". I have nothing against Pakistan, "the people". The people there are just like me. Infact I have a Pakistani colleague of mine and we were even friends on Facebook (till I defunced my FB id for some personal reason). But this Aman ki Asha or whatever, is pure waste. So my earnest request to TOI...dont waste paper on this at such a large scale please.
Secondly, its like playing with our emotions... give us a break. What you are asking us to do is forget the past and the present for a "dreamy" future"...sorry boss, thats not possible.
Am sure TOI is spending huge amount of money and resource in this initiative. They can utilize them for more pressing and urgent cause...they can infact open a camp for educating our "politicians"
And last but not the least...they can stop this "Emotioanl Atyachaar"...
I dont drink, so I really dont know what a hangover on the 1st of January is, but am sure it could not be any different from what I was going through reading that page. Accepted and understood that we entered a new decade, accepted and understood that we need to be different. Accepted and understood that life moves on and that "to err is human and to forgive is divine"...but the past decade that witnessed so much of terrorism, started with the attacks on our Parliament and ended with 26/11 and with so many lives getting affected, I want to move on but dont want to "forgive". I respect Gandhiji, but dont agree with giving away my other cheek for free to slap if someone finds me worthy of slapping!!! I may not slap back, agreed...but I will definitely remeber his slap forever unless I suffer from what Amitabh Bacchan suffered in "BLACK". Also Aman ki Asha, and bridging gap between the two countries...well atleast I dont have the guts to talk about these infront of Khushboo Jha or say the Kashmiri Pundits. I didnt quite find it interesting or even worth reading... rather my mind was more concentrating on what could have been saved if Aman ki Asha was not there.
First and foremost, we could save our environment...look at the amount of paper we are wasting on this "initiative". I have nothing against Pakistan, "the people". The people there are just like me. Infact I have a Pakistani colleague of mine and we were even friends on Facebook (till I defunced my FB id for some personal reason). But this Aman ki Asha or whatever, is pure waste. So my earnest request to TOI...dont waste paper on this at such a large scale please.
Secondly, its like playing with our emotions... give us a break. What you are asking us to do is forget the past and the present for a "dreamy" future"...sorry boss, thats not possible.
Am sure TOI is spending huge amount of money and resource in this initiative. They can utilize them for more pressing and urgent cause...they can infact open a camp for educating our "politicians"
And last but not the least...they can stop this "Emotioanl Atyachaar"...
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
3 idiots - Review
Well, where do I begin from? The common stand is that when you review anything, you just rip it off! But then since this movie is all about breaking the common rules, what better way to implement the same than writing a review and going ga ga over the movie!
Honestly, there is not a thing about this movie that I "didnt" like. Before starting this post, I googled and read a lot many reviews of this movie. Most of the reviews were positive, though like experts, and still afraid of breaking the common path may be, each of those reviewers wrote negative stuffs as well...
Some said every time they saw Pia (Kareena) they wished they could see more of the 3 idiots together on screen than this 4th one! Well, I thought I would also write this,and why not...I dont like Kareena at all! But couldnot make myself hate Pia, no matter how much I hate Kareena. I loved here presence in the movie just as much as her elder sister (played by Mona).
Some "Chatur" and "Virus" sometimes over did their part. Well, thought would write about this...but then again couldnot... Chatur Ramalingam reminded me of atleast 3-4 such real life characters in my own life, right from the school till the University days. How can I not believe in that character, when I know atleast 3-4 Chaturs in my own life? And forget school, college or university, you get "Chatur"s in every age of your life...
Virus... well Boman Irani is a sweetheart... even if he "overdid" I can never criticise him...but then how do I say he overdid? He reminded me of atleast 1 prof from College days and 1 from the University... and at times I see many "VIRUSes" around me.
Some even said Aamir at 44, didnt look like 22...to which I say...Just shut up!
Amitabh, at 66, if decides to do a 13, and gets away with it with all the truckload of make-up then Amir did a better job without make-up...only with his body language... Rancho is the cutest 22 year old student I have ever seen!!! My husband did try to make a point by saying that he has done plastic surgery and blah blah, to which I said...Just shut up!
So, a very few negatives that I got reading those reviews...I couldnt just accept them. So, following Rancho, I am defying the norm and standing apart...a review of a movie...where I just didnt find anythingnegative to comment upon. So what if they showed 2000 AD but showed use of mobile phones in college campus that too the small and sleek ones, not the huge Motorola sets, if at all...it doesnt matter. It also doesnot matter if they show webcam delivery! That was informative...(yes, my 10 year old daughter proudly told me that now she knows what "normal delivery" is!). Am ready to overlook all these and much more to get 3 hours of absolute bliss! Am ready to accept every overdose of acting, if at all... for priceless on-screen moments like the suicide of Joy Lobo, or the suicide attempt of Raju, or the love and the bonding between the 3 idiots!
I am ready to accept the histronics of Chatur any number of time, for that famous speech of his on the teacher's day! I am ready to tolerate VIRUS for his 7.5 mins power nap. I am more that willing to sit through all the negatives mentioned above and more for a dailouge like "you are sad when your best friend flunks, but you are the saddest when he...tops!!!"....3 hours of LOL moments with enough touch of sensitivity, emotion, and socially relevant message...All in all...3 idots rocks!!!
My respect for Raju Hirani increased manifold... hope to see many more of his offerings...
A must must must watch for everybody...irrespective of caste, n creed. Aamir Khan lovers, Aamir Khan haters, Chetan Bhagat fans, please line up...buy tickets and watch this movie... it would be even more fun, if you go and watch this movie with your buddies.....
Honestly, there is not a thing about this movie that I "didnt" like. Before starting this post, I googled and read a lot many reviews of this movie. Most of the reviews were positive, though like experts, and still afraid of breaking the common path may be, each of those reviewers wrote negative stuffs as well...
Some said every time they saw Pia (Kareena) they wished they could see more of the 3 idiots together on screen than this 4th one! Well, I thought I would also write this,and why not...I dont like Kareena at all! But couldnot make myself hate Pia, no matter how much I hate Kareena. I loved here presence in the movie just as much as her elder sister (played by Mona).
Some "Chatur" and "Virus" sometimes over did their part. Well, thought would write about this...but then again couldnot... Chatur Ramalingam reminded me of atleast 3-4 such real life characters in my own life, right from the school till the University days. How can I not believe in that character, when I know atleast 3-4 Chaturs in my own life? And forget school, college or university, you get "Chatur"s in every age of your life...
Virus... well Boman Irani is a sweetheart... even if he "overdid" I can never criticise him...but then how do I say he overdid? He reminded me of atleast 1 prof from College days and 1 from the University... and at times I see many "VIRUSes" around me.
Some even said Aamir at 44, didnt look like 22...to which I say...Just shut up!
Amitabh, at 66, if decides to do a 13, and gets away with it with all the truckload of make-up then Amir did a better job without make-up...only with his body language... Rancho is the cutest 22 year old student I have ever seen!!! My husband did try to make a point by saying that he has done plastic surgery and blah blah, to which I said...Just shut up!
So, a very few negatives that I got reading those reviews...I couldnt just accept them. So, following Rancho, I am defying the norm and standing apart...a review of a movie...where I just didnt find anythingnegative to comment upon. So what if they showed 2000 AD but showed use of mobile phones in college campus that too the small and sleek ones, not the huge Motorola sets, if at all...it doesnt matter. It also doesnot matter if they show webcam delivery! That was informative...(yes, my 10 year old daughter proudly told me that now she knows what "normal delivery" is!). Am ready to overlook all these and much more to get 3 hours of absolute bliss! Am ready to accept every overdose of acting, if at all... for priceless on-screen moments like the suicide of Joy Lobo, or the suicide attempt of Raju, or the love and the bonding between the 3 idiots!
I am ready to accept the histronics of Chatur any number of time, for that famous speech of his on the teacher's day! I am ready to tolerate VIRUS for his 7.5 mins power nap. I am more that willing to sit through all the negatives mentioned above and more for a dailouge like "you are sad when your best friend flunks, but you are the saddest when he...tops!!!"....3 hours of LOL moments with enough touch of sensitivity, emotion, and socially relevant message...All in all...3 idots rocks!!!
My respect for Raju Hirani increased manifold... hope to see many more of his offerings...
A must must must watch for everybody...irrespective of caste, n creed. Aamir Khan lovers, Aamir Khan haters, Chetan Bhagat fans, please line up...buy tickets and watch this movie... it would be even more fun, if you go and watch this movie with your buddies.....
Monday, January 4, 2010
Chetan Bhagat, FPS...and 3 Idiots
This is tough for me...I love them all. When you love both the gangs@war, its tough to take a stand. But the brighter side is, when you love both the gangs...you will never be biased...you will just speak your mind, and this is exactly what I intend to do here.
One honest confession of Aditi (the reader)... I love Chetan Bhagat. Yes he is a cool dude who has given us Indians (specially the youths) something to look forward to in a Novel by an Indian author. I am conservative when it comes to reading. I prefer Agatha Christie, Sydney Sheldon, Paulo Coelho, P G Woodhouse etc etc. Indian authors?...hmmm, never sort of excited me much - not their fault though, it is my conservative attitude that needs to be blamed. Amitava Ghosh did help a bit...but only a bit. And then came Chetan Bhagat in my world -I mean not literally, though wish ;-) Initially when my cousins mentioned FPS (when it was first launched) and went gaga over the author I just snapped them off (being 6 years elder to them helped). Kept hearing about this cool IIT-IIM-turned- banker-turned-author but never felt like reading his offerings. To make matters worse, oneday I just chanced upon 1 night@Call Center...and I didnot like it. So Chetan Bhagat chapter ended in my life...atleast that s what i thought then.
A couple of months back a friend told me about 2 states...also since these books cost 95/ only (thats another good thing about his books) thought let me read it, I have only 95/ bucks to lose. Man, I just loved his book this time. I mean, yes, I agree he is not an embryo of a Nobel prize winning author , but he is cool...his style is fun...his humor is witty...and he did have a message! I loved 2 states and then, as if in a flash back mode, I read FPS (I just loved it), and 3 mistakes of my life (nothing great but liked his style of humor, and again with a message)...but all these were enough for me to fall in love with Chetan Bhagat and his books. So as I said in the beginning, I love Chetan Bhagat against all odds in my life.
Honest confession of Aditi (the movie-watcher)...I love Raju Hirani (not with the same kind of emotion that I have for Chetan Bhagat, but nevertheless, I love him). I mean I dont wish I was Mrs. Raju Hirani in even my wildest dream, but I love his work...oh he, as a director, has a magic touch. I loved all his movies...Munna Bhai MBBS, Lage Raho Munna Bhai, and was eagerly awaiting 3 idiots...why?...well the reasons are
1) Raju Hirani is the director
2)the story is loosely adapted from FPS (this is what I knew)
3)Aamir Khan is thr - another man I just respect too much
And yes...the team bowled me over again. I read the movie made 100crores business in the openning week...well out of that 2000/ is my contribution. Loved the movie and am planning to break my record of watching Maine Pyar Kiya 50 times with this one.
Amazing movie...and then saw/read/heard about the controversy...heard my sweetheart Chetan Bhagat is upset about the credentials?! I was shocked, and ashamed...and yes, once again I thougt...wish I was Mrs. Chetan Bhagat...i would have stopped him for stooping so low for sure.
So I thought i would write an opne letter to him, only to tell him, how his fans are feeling right now with all this monkey dancing around the press....
Hi Dude,
I feel sorry for you that you have got a meagre amount of 11,00,000/ from the Producer when the movie has crossed 175 crore business and is still going strong. I can relate to it... I feel exactly the same when I read the quarterly profit report of my organisation (IBM) and compare it with my salary slip! But there is not much we can do about it right? Common dude, take this as a "lesson learnt"...better bargain well next time, but atleast stop being a "Chatur Ramalingam" yaa... Your pointing scene by scene in the media! God, Chetan, grow up! People who have read your story and watched the movie, know exactly whats being taken from your book...and who denied that? But the "story" of 3idiots...story of "Rancho"...is not yours...they have adapted some part from your story and they have paid you for that...the payment may seem less now, but thats something you guys mutually agreed upon, right? then what is this fuss all about?...dont be a kiddo...I agree, our education system should change...otherwise an IIT-IIM grad, doesnt understand this basic minimum?
Dude, you said you have problem that they put your name at the end? So whats the fuss about? there are so many movies when the credits roll out in the end only... stop crying baby...next time put this in your contract...details with when you want your name, what should be the font size etc ok? we learn from our mistakes, dont we?
Then I read you were upset bcos your mother was upset because she missed your name in the movie. Ah, you know Indian mothers na? Remember Krish's mother? (2 states)...she would cry even when bhindi masala burnt! Our mothers are very delicate, and beyond a certain age limit they lose their eye sight as well... so may be a tight "jaadu ki jhappi" alongwith an eye-appointment will make your mom happy...
Like an ardent fan of yours I felt proud to watch this movie which is loosely adapted from your FPS. I cheered when I saw your "punches", witty "one-liners"...and told my husband excitedly about how they are actually your contributions...and am sure many like me felt proud... but dude, you have let us down with your "Chatur" act. to quote VIRUS... "Main tumhe sympathy de sakti hoon, support nahin"
The story credit is not entirely yours, and The production house has done everything that is mentioned in the contract...so stop fussing and move on in life... take this as a learning expereince...I will, as well...we must use our bargaining power to strike a better deal, dude! not cry and make fun of ourselves...
Love,
Aditi
One honest confession of Aditi (the reader)... I love Chetan Bhagat. Yes he is a cool dude who has given us Indians (specially the youths) something to look forward to in a Novel by an Indian author. I am conservative when it comes to reading. I prefer Agatha Christie, Sydney Sheldon, Paulo Coelho, P G Woodhouse etc etc. Indian authors?...hmmm, never sort of excited me much - not their fault though, it is my conservative attitude that needs to be blamed. Amitava Ghosh did help a bit...but only a bit. And then came Chetan Bhagat in my world -I mean not literally, though wish ;-) Initially when my cousins mentioned FPS (when it was first launched) and went gaga over the author I just snapped them off (being 6 years elder to them helped). Kept hearing about this cool IIT-IIM-turned- banker-turned-author but never felt like reading his offerings. To make matters worse, oneday I just chanced upon 1 night@Call Center...and I didnot like it. So Chetan Bhagat chapter ended in my life...atleast that s what i thought then.
A couple of months back a friend told me about 2 states...also since these books cost 95/ only (thats another good thing about his books) thought let me read it, I have only 95/ bucks to lose. Man, I just loved his book this time. I mean, yes, I agree he is not an embryo of a Nobel prize winning author , but he is cool...his style is fun...his humor is witty...and he did have a message! I loved 2 states and then, as if in a flash back mode, I read FPS (I just loved it), and 3 mistakes of my life (nothing great but liked his style of humor, and again with a message)...but all these were enough for me to fall in love with Chetan Bhagat and his books. So as I said in the beginning, I love Chetan Bhagat against all odds in my life.
Honest confession of Aditi (the movie-watcher)...I love Raju Hirani (not with the same kind of emotion that I have for Chetan Bhagat, but nevertheless, I love him). I mean I dont wish I was Mrs. Raju Hirani in even my wildest dream, but I love his work...oh he, as a director, has a magic touch. I loved all his movies...Munna Bhai MBBS, Lage Raho Munna Bhai, and was eagerly awaiting 3 idiots...why?...well the reasons are
1) Raju Hirani is the director
2)the story is loosely adapted from FPS (this is what I knew)
3)Aamir Khan is thr - another man I just respect too much
And yes...the team bowled me over again. I read the movie made 100crores business in the openning week...well out of that 2000/ is my contribution. Loved the movie and am planning to break my record of watching Maine Pyar Kiya 50 times with this one.
Amazing movie...and then saw/read/heard about the controversy...heard my sweetheart Chetan Bhagat is upset about the credentials?! I was shocked, and ashamed...and yes, once again I thougt...wish I was Mrs. Chetan Bhagat...i would have stopped him for stooping so low for sure.
So I thought i would write an opne letter to him, only to tell him, how his fans are feeling right now with all this monkey dancing around the press....
Hi Dude,
I feel sorry for you that you have got a meagre amount of 11,00,000/ from the Producer when the movie has crossed 175 crore business and is still going strong. I can relate to it... I feel exactly the same when I read the quarterly profit report of my organisation (IBM) and compare it with my salary slip! But there is not much we can do about it right? Common dude, take this as a "lesson learnt"...better bargain well next time, but atleast stop being a "Chatur Ramalingam" yaa... Your pointing scene by scene in the media! God, Chetan, grow up! People who have read your story and watched the movie, know exactly whats being taken from your book...and who denied that? But the "story" of 3idiots...story of "Rancho"...is not yours...they have adapted some part from your story and they have paid you for that...the payment may seem less now, but thats something you guys mutually agreed upon, right? then what is this fuss all about?...dont be a kiddo...I agree, our education system should change...otherwise an IIT-IIM grad, doesnt understand this basic minimum?
Dude, you said you have problem that they put your name at the end? So whats the fuss about? there are so many movies when the credits roll out in the end only... stop crying baby...next time put this in your contract...details with when you want your name, what should be the font size etc ok? we learn from our mistakes, dont we?
Then I read you were upset bcos your mother was upset because she missed your name in the movie. Ah, you know Indian mothers na? Remember Krish's mother? (2 states)...she would cry even when bhindi masala burnt! Our mothers are very delicate, and beyond a certain age limit they lose their eye sight as well... so may be a tight "jaadu ki jhappi" alongwith an eye-appointment will make your mom happy...
Like an ardent fan of yours I felt proud to watch this movie which is loosely adapted from your FPS. I cheered when I saw your "punches", witty "one-liners"...and told my husband excitedly about how they are actually your contributions...and am sure many like me felt proud... but dude, you have let us down with your "Chatur" act. to quote VIRUS... "Main tumhe sympathy de sakti hoon, support nahin"
The story credit is not entirely yours, and The production house has done everything that is mentioned in the contract...so stop fussing and move on in life... take this as a learning expereince...I will, as well...we must use our bargaining power to strike a better deal, dude! not cry and make fun of ourselves...
Love,
Aditi
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