"I love you", you would say,
And yet slowly walk away;
The darkness around scares me a lot,
Am all alone in the pitch dark pathway.
"I'll ne'er let you go", you would say,
No matter what lies ahead in our way;
Your soothing words comfort me a lot,
N my might heart scares the "fear" away.
"There's no goodbye", you would say,
"Protect our eternal love", to you I pray;
Yet you choose your "garden" over our love,
And leave me and our love alone, in the mid way.
Let your "garden" bloom with beautiful flowers, I pray,
I long to be a tiny rose in your garden, some day;
I wish to be rain ; to water your garden,
And protect it from all odds, till that day.
Thursday, June 5, 2008
Wednesday, June 4, 2008
The Curse - First attempt of my Daughter as a writer!!!
As a proud mother, I feel absolutely delighted to post the first ever story written by my 8 year old daughter, Millie. Here it goes:
Once upon a time, there lived a cute princess called Ashley. She loved playing a particular tune on her flute. Every morning she played the same sweet tune on her flute. Listening to that tune, all the birds started to dance. And the kingdom of Ashley was very near to a forest. In the forest there lived a little wicked dwarf who hated the tune of the princess. He wanted to kill Ashley. So one day, the dwarf came to the kingdom. After Ashley played the tune the dwarf entered her room and made Ashley senseless. And he gave her a big sand timer of one hour. By that way, a prince called Hans was passing the kingdom on his horse. When Hans was passing the kingdom, he saw Ashley who was senseless. He also knew the same tune and he had a flute too on which he played the tune and he also saw the dwarf. So Hans went to the room of Ashley and played the tune before the dwarf. Listening to that tune Ashley woke up and the prince killed the dwarf. And then Ashley and Hans got married and lived happily ever after.
Once upon a time, there lived a cute princess called Ashley. She loved playing a particular tune on her flute. Every morning she played the same sweet tune on her flute. Listening to that tune, all the birds started to dance. And the kingdom of Ashley was very near to a forest. In the forest there lived a little wicked dwarf who hated the tune of the princess. He wanted to kill Ashley. So one day, the dwarf came to the kingdom. After Ashley played the tune the dwarf entered her room and made Ashley senseless. And he gave her a big sand timer of one hour. By that way, a prince called Hans was passing the kingdom on his horse. When Hans was passing the kingdom, he saw Ashley who was senseless. He also knew the same tune and he had a flute too on which he played the tune and he also saw the dwarf. So Hans went to the room of Ashley and played the tune before the dwarf. Listening to that tune Ashley woke up and the prince killed the dwarf. And then Ashley and Hans got married and lived happily ever after.
Tuesday, June 3, 2008
A few fears and dilemnas from my closet
I have this weird connection with my brain cells-I think too much. I am constantly thinking about something, even when I am quietest or the loudest I am having this constant conversation with my mind.
For this reason alone I find it difficult to comprehend how some of my friends (especially guys) claim to have those moments of “blankness” when the mind is like a blank canvas. Often when asked the question “So, what are you thinking?” people tend to say “Nothing” (Even I do this all the time). But I think this is a gross understatement of facts.
To me, my brain is the most unaccountable machinery. The data it processes can range from trivial, crude, stumbling meanderings, stupid, naive to the occasional (read, seldom or rarely) creative and inspirational insights. It is a scientifically proven fact that a person’s brain is active all the time, waking and sleeping, producing and shifting between what scientists call “distinct brain wave forms”.
So with such an active brain such as ours it just cannot be possible to have a moment of nothingness.
Thoughts come unbridled always buzzing, humming, soaring, roaring, diving, driving me crazy and then buried in mud. If nothing else I find myself wondering why?
Sometimes I wish I could stop that “lil’ voice” , sometimes I wish I could have those moments of blankness within myself...I want to experience it.! May be that is what people call having peace?? ……. Hmmmmm, That’s something new to think about now! That's something alien to me. When I started meditating some months back, even during meditation my thoughts would drift and I would see things (may be in my imagination, or whatever) which I dont want to talk about.
The other day while I was trying to sort my CD drawer, I came across an audion CD of my daughter's school, which has collection of pretty old English classics we grew up with! Excited to get hold of the CD, I played it and came across one of my most favorite but long forgotten number, "Que Serra Serra". I grew up hearing this song and it gives a close competition to my most favorite number, "Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music. The lyric of Que Serra Serra is wonderful... whatever will be will be; the future s not ours to see... Wow!!!
“FUTURE”… this one word holds so much power over all of us. Who hasn’t at some point in their lives wondered about what future holds for them? Being humans we spend most of our present, worrying and thinking about our future. We always have and will nurture a fear for unknown, and what is a bigger unknown than one’s own future? I remember once having read a talk by C.F. Kettering and thinking how true he was about man’s fascination by future when he said "My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there”. This of course strikes a chord within me more now as I often catch myself pondering about how my future is going to be. I have tried to stop this of course with rather unsuccessful attempts.
Looking back into my life, I have discovered that at every crossroad of life, at every juncture, I have always worried about my future. Everytime I stumbled taking a decision, I now realise, there was a guardain angel up there somewhere who helped me with the right kind of choice. I worried about me getting the right kind of education, and I did, though there were many sleepless nights spent on deciding the right course for me. The most obvious stream after Xth was Science ofcourse, but there came the first dilemna of my life. I have always been passionate about doing things only that like doing, and I never liked Physics, Chemistry and Biology! When I took the decision of studying Economics, against family and teachers' wishes, I took my first major decision of life, entirely on my own. But was i alone? Now I realise I wasnt alone then - my guardain angel was with me.
Then it was my marriage versus my higher studies and I chose the former. There was confusion and chaos and if I could keep my cool then, it was only because of my guardain angel. He helped me realise that when your parents commit to another family about your marriage, you should stick to it even if you seem to get an option which is more lucrative. I dont know where I would have been now careerwise, if I didnt stick to my decision of marriage then, but I know my darling daughter would not have been today with me, and I thank my guardain angel for that.
The next crossroad was my daughter and career and I chose the former. And my guardain angel ensured that I get the right kind of job at the right point of time. And things just worked out for me. I worried about me getting a job that i like. I would hate to make a compromise where my work is concerned (always wanted to be good at what I do but I do lose track as everyone else...only more often than others), I had always prided myself (may be falsely so at times) at doing what I have wanted to do, so when i was looking for a job i was petrified. Ph. D was an option but I knew I could never do that because I cant imagine doing something so huge without a real passion for it. Amidst all these dilemna things just fell into place perfectly. He ensured only the best for me. So far, so good.
But the fear of unknown still persists. I know I worry unnecessarily but well, who can have a hold on "Mr. Worry" who goes and comes as and when he wants!!! And my biggest all time fear which eats me daily is the fear of falling short of the expectations of people who matter to me, whom I love. I feel like being in an emotional roller coaster ride. I know I am emotional, and at times (well ok, most of the times) I carry my emotions too far, rubbing small, inconsequential matters in a relationship which probably hurts my loved one more than myself. The guilt of making my loved one go through the emotional turmoil tears me apart. Somewhere down the lane, I have started to feel sad about my relationship with the guilt of making other's life miserable with my emotional outbursts. Make no mistake here... I love him too much and I know he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. When I imagine myself 40 years from now I see an old lady with wrinkles running hither-thither but I also him by my side, looking at me in the same way he looks at me now... i know this is no imagination, I know this is true 'cos I feel it in my heart. I know I over-react perhaps but in my heart it just aches more and more daily. It may be my insecurity, or lack of patience, or whatever it is, and I wish I was smart enough to sort these feelings by myself and I wish I could be brave enough to face and fight this alone but i am unable to do so. Whenever I suffer these emotional pangs, I fight with him and make his life miserable though I know in doing so I am hurting him deeply. This is my present dilemna, the present crossroad of my life, I am uncertain, I am confused as ever, but this time I know He is there to guide me and show me the right way. All I have to do is listen to Him, my guardain angel. A voice from within is telling me something. It says, I love him too deeply and too much to do anything which woud make him sad. My guardain angel will take care of everything. So all I can do now is sit back and let the things go the way they are right now. I am ashamed that I am not brave enough to voice my feelings to the one I love the most in this world in the most appropriate way, but I just can’t bring myself to hurt him, its better that I hurt myself than hurt anyone who matters to me !!!!
For this reason alone I find it difficult to comprehend how some of my friends (especially guys) claim to have those moments of “blankness” when the mind is like a blank canvas. Often when asked the question “So, what are you thinking?” people tend to say “Nothing” (Even I do this all the time). But I think this is a gross understatement of facts.
To me, my brain is the most unaccountable machinery. The data it processes can range from trivial, crude, stumbling meanderings, stupid, naive to the occasional (read, seldom or rarely) creative and inspirational insights. It is a scientifically proven fact that a person’s brain is active all the time, waking and sleeping, producing and shifting between what scientists call “distinct brain wave forms”.
So with such an active brain such as ours it just cannot be possible to have a moment of nothingness.
Thoughts come unbridled always buzzing, humming, soaring, roaring, diving, driving me crazy and then buried in mud. If nothing else I find myself wondering why?
Sometimes I wish I could stop that “lil’ voice” , sometimes I wish I could have those moments of blankness within myself...I want to experience it.! May be that is what people call having peace?? ……. Hmmmmm, That’s something new to think about now! That's something alien to me. When I started meditating some months back, even during meditation my thoughts would drift and I would see things (may be in my imagination, or whatever) which I dont want to talk about.
The other day while I was trying to sort my CD drawer, I came across an audion CD of my daughter's school, which has collection of pretty old English classics we grew up with! Excited to get hold of the CD, I played it and came across one of my most favorite but long forgotten number, "Que Serra Serra". I grew up hearing this song and it gives a close competition to my most favorite number, "Favorite Things" from The Sound of Music. The lyric of Que Serra Serra is wonderful... whatever will be will be; the future s not ours to see... Wow!!!
“FUTURE”… this one word holds so much power over all of us. Who hasn’t at some point in their lives wondered about what future holds for them? Being humans we spend most of our present, worrying and thinking about our future. We always have and will nurture a fear for unknown, and what is a bigger unknown than one’s own future? I remember once having read a talk by C.F. Kettering and thinking how true he was about man’s fascination by future when he said "My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there”. This of course strikes a chord within me more now as I often catch myself pondering about how my future is going to be. I have tried to stop this of course with rather unsuccessful attempts.
Looking back into my life, I have discovered that at every crossroad of life, at every juncture, I have always worried about my future. Everytime I stumbled taking a decision, I now realise, there was a guardain angel up there somewhere who helped me with the right kind of choice. I worried about me getting the right kind of education, and I did, though there were many sleepless nights spent on deciding the right course for me. The most obvious stream after Xth was Science ofcourse, but there came the first dilemna of my life. I have always been passionate about doing things only that like doing, and I never liked Physics, Chemistry and Biology! When I took the decision of studying Economics, against family and teachers' wishes, I took my first major decision of life, entirely on my own. But was i alone? Now I realise I wasnt alone then - my guardain angel was with me.
Then it was my marriage versus my higher studies and I chose the former. There was confusion and chaos and if I could keep my cool then, it was only because of my guardain angel. He helped me realise that when your parents commit to another family about your marriage, you should stick to it even if you seem to get an option which is more lucrative. I dont know where I would have been now careerwise, if I didnt stick to my decision of marriage then, but I know my darling daughter would not have been today with me, and I thank my guardain angel for that.
The next crossroad was my daughter and career and I chose the former. And my guardain angel ensured that I get the right kind of job at the right point of time. And things just worked out for me. I worried about me getting a job that i like. I would hate to make a compromise where my work is concerned (always wanted to be good at what I do but I do lose track as everyone else...only more often than others), I had always prided myself (may be falsely so at times) at doing what I have wanted to do, so when i was looking for a job i was petrified. Ph. D was an option but I knew I could never do that because I cant imagine doing something so huge without a real passion for it. Amidst all these dilemna things just fell into place perfectly. He ensured only the best for me. So far, so good.
But the fear of unknown still persists. I know I worry unnecessarily but well, who can have a hold on "Mr. Worry" who goes and comes as and when he wants!!! And my biggest all time fear which eats me daily is the fear of falling short of the expectations of people who matter to me, whom I love. I feel like being in an emotional roller coaster ride. I know I am emotional, and at times (well ok, most of the times) I carry my emotions too far, rubbing small, inconsequential matters in a relationship which probably hurts my loved one more than myself. The guilt of making my loved one go through the emotional turmoil tears me apart. Somewhere down the lane, I have started to feel sad about my relationship with the guilt of making other's life miserable with my emotional outbursts. Make no mistake here... I love him too much and I know he is the person I want to spend the rest of my life with. When I imagine myself 40 years from now I see an old lady with wrinkles running hither-thither but I also him by my side, looking at me in the same way he looks at me now... i know this is no imagination, I know this is true 'cos I feel it in my heart. I know I over-react perhaps but in my heart it just aches more and more daily. It may be my insecurity, or lack of patience, or whatever it is, and I wish I was smart enough to sort these feelings by myself and I wish I could be brave enough to face and fight this alone but i am unable to do so. Whenever I suffer these emotional pangs, I fight with him and make his life miserable though I know in doing so I am hurting him deeply. This is my present dilemna, the present crossroad of my life, I am uncertain, I am confused as ever, but this time I know He is there to guide me and show me the right way. All I have to do is listen to Him, my guardain angel. A voice from within is telling me something. It says, I love him too deeply and too much to do anything which woud make him sad. My guardain angel will take care of everything. So all I can do now is sit back and let the things go the way they are right now. I am ashamed that I am not brave enough to voice my feelings to the one I love the most in this world in the most appropriate way, but I just can’t bring myself to hurt him, its better that I hurt myself than hurt anyone who matters to me !!!!
For God's Sake
Last night I saw a movie - "Khudaa kay Liye - In the name of God". A very hard hitting movie with well sketched plot and almost real life characters. Loved the intensity of the movie. Liked the message of the movie. Well, talking about message, many a times it so happens that the person who is the creative head of a particular article/movie/song/advertisement etc may have a particular message in his mind which he wants to convey but different people perceive his product differently. Which is absolutely normal, I guess, for the best thing about human beings is that we all are different, unique individual. And this movie has hit me in a particular way which may or may not be the same as you perceive it, but nevertheless to celebrate the uniqueness of individual characters, I shall share my observation.
The movie revolves around certain characters, mostly Muslims, Britts and Americans. The movie celebrates human relationships, interaction of one individual with another in the socio-politico-religious backdrop prevailing in Pakistan, UK, and America immediately before and after 9/11. Initially i thought this movie is anti-muslim, then I thought probably this movie is anti-american, but by the end of the movie I realised that the movie is neither of the two. This movie condemns human ego, selfishness, hatred, and how these negative traits when not curbed, destroy love, life of people and society at large. Whether the character is a Muslim or a Christian, whether the character is residing in Lahore or UK or America, is immaterial. The movie is beyond the petty human made boundaries and defferences based on Religion, Caste, Creed etc. Actually as an afterthought, I realised that the negative, destructive traits of human beings can be seen everywhere, in every corner of the world, amongst the followers of every religion, amongst the believers of every faith. Likewise, virtues are not confined to any particular religion or belief or society at large.
A father (a Pakistani residing in UK for years), who cheats his own daughter and brings her to Pakistan and forcibly gets her married against her wish to her cousin, so that she does not marry outside her religion, is to be condemned irrespective of his religion! But having seeing this movie, I know people will generalise, "Ah Muslims are like that! Ah Muslims treat their women in a pathetic way!" and so on... nobody will talk about the individual, and no body will bother about the girl who is unfortunate to have a father like him. But exploitation of women is something which is found all over the world, from remote villages in 3rd world countires, to metropolitan and cosmopolitan cities to even developed countries like USA and other European countries. May be the ways get subtler as you move from villages to cities, from developing countries to developed ones, but lets accept the fact it is still there, and probably will remain in the years to come as well, though the degree may vary and so vary the ways. So why single out a particular religion or a community?
A young boy is convinced to be a Jihaadi, he is brain-washed into believing that religious belief is reflected in one's dress and beard. That singing is a vice. His life gets almost ruined, but do you find this only amongst Muslims? Think again. The real life stories of dooming intelligent youngster's career by brain-washing them into joining the dirty politics by giving their patriotism a wrong boost - you see this in every society across all the times. Naxalites movement ruined so many lives of young, bright college-goers! DId the movement bring about any change towards betterment of the society? No it didnot. It just catered to the selfish interest of handfull of our eminent political leaders. But the ideology of those lost youngsters were not vague. They were genuine, only that they were being manipulated by crooked politicians. This once again proves the point. Its explotation of some form or the other to cater to the self interest of handful of people. Wonder why we never take lessons from history? Wonder why we spend our liftime in hatred and vengenance? Wonder why we are anti-Islamic, or anti- American, or anti-this and anti-that? We should actually be anti-exploitation, and take an oath to fight this terrible disease of human kind.
If you really want to fight terrorism,then fight hatred! Spread love, in your way, no matter how small it is. And the first step you can take towards this, is stop having inhibition or pre-conceived notion about any group, caste, creed, religion, or society. Open your mind and follow your heart. Your God is inside you. And He only wants you to love. Love unconditionally, and love all - Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Christian, Atheist. If you have to condemn someone for his act, condemn him, not his religion; not his country; not his province. It is he, who has let the negativity affect him, no religion teaches you violence and hatred, only corrupt people do.
Follow the path of ultimate truth and unconditional love. You may not go to temple or mosque, but if you are honest, and have a heart to love all unconditionally and move ahead in life, you are the best Muslim, or Hindu, or Christian, or Sikh, that your God can be proud of, and you can make this world a much better place. Let og of vices like hatred and vengenance and make this earth a better place to live in. For God's sake, our kids deserve a better place to live than what we are leaving for them.
The movie revolves around certain characters, mostly Muslims, Britts and Americans. The movie celebrates human relationships, interaction of one individual with another in the socio-politico-religious backdrop prevailing in Pakistan, UK, and America immediately before and after 9/11. Initially i thought this movie is anti-muslim, then I thought probably this movie is anti-american, but by the end of the movie I realised that the movie is neither of the two. This movie condemns human ego, selfishness, hatred, and how these negative traits when not curbed, destroy love, life of people and society at large. Whether the character is a Muslim or a Christian, whether the character is residing in Lahore or UK or America, is immaterial. The movie is beyond the petty human made boundaries and defferences based on Religion, Caste, Creed etc. Actually as an afterthought, I realised that the negative, destructive traits of human beings can be seen everywhere, in every corner of the world, amongst the followers of every religion, amongst the believers of every faith. Likewise, virtues are not confined to any particular religion or belief or society at large.
A father (a Pakistani residing in UK for years), who cheats his own daughter and brings her to Pakistan and forcibly gets her married against her wish to her cousin, so that she does not marry outside her religion, is to be condemned irrespective of his religion! But having seeing this movie, I know people will generalise, "Ah Muslims are like that! Ah Muslims treat their women in a pathetic way!" and so on... nobody will talk about the individual, and no body will bother about the girl who is unfortunate to have a father like him. But exploitation of women is something which is found all over the world, from remote villages in 3rd world countires, to metropolitan and cosmopolitan cities to even developed countries like USA and other European countries. May be the ways get subtler as you move from villages to cities, from developing countries to developed ones, but lets accept the fact it is still there, and probably will remain in the years to come as well, though the degree may vary and so vary the ways. So why single out a particular religion or a community?
A young boy is convinced to be a Jihaadi, he is brain-washed into believing that religious belief is reflected in one's dress and beard. That singing is a vice. His life gets almost ruined, but do you find this only amongst Muslims? Think again. The real life stories of dooming intelligent youngster's career by brain-washing them into joining the dirty politics by giving their patriotism a wrong boost - you see this in every society across all the times. Naxalites movement ruined so many lives of young, bright college-goers! DId the movement bring about any change towards betterment of the society? No it didnot. It just catered to the selfish interest of handfull of our eminent political leaders. But the ideology of those lost youngsters were not vague. They were genuine, only that they were being manipulated by crooked politicians. This once again proves the point. Its explotation of some form or the other to cater to the self interest of handful of people. Wonder why we never take lessons from history? Wonder why we spend our liftime in hatred and vengenance? Wonder why we are anti-Islamic, or anti- American, or anti-this and anti-that? We should actually be anti-exploitation, and take an oath to fight this terrible disease of human kind.
If you really want to fight terrorism,then fight hatred! Spread love, in your way, no matter how small it is. And the first step you can take towards this, is stop having inhibition or pre-conceived notion about any group, caste, creed, religion, or society. Open your mind and follow your heart. Your God is inside you. And He only wants you to love. Love unconditionally, and love all - Hindu, Muslim, Sikh, Christian, Atheist. If you have to condemn someone for his act, condemn him, not his religion; not his country; not his province. It is he, who has let the negativity affect him, no religion teaches you violence and hatred, only corrupt people do.
Follow the path of ultimate truth and unconditional love. You may not go to temple or mosque, but if you are honest, and have a heart to love all unconditionally and move ahead in life, you are the best Muslim, or Hindu, or Christian, or Sikh, that your God can be proud of, and you can make this world a much better place. Let og of vices like hatred and vengenance and make this earth a better place to live in. For God's sake, our kids deserve a better place to live than what we are leaving for them.
Tuesday, May 27, 2008
Tears Only
This boat on which she sailed
for what seemed like a night
turned into any other day
she trembled,she cried,she wailed.
She preferred the dark,
they could see her in the light
she wanted to make a mark
only this boat didn't leave any spark.
She questioned her destiny
left herself on flowing time
she sang for help,she cried for tears
only there weren't any.
for what seemed like a night
turned into any other day
she trembled,she cried,she wailed.
She preferred the dark,
they could see her in the light
she wanted to make a mark
only this boat didn't leave any spark.
She questioned her destiny
left herself on flowing time
she sang for help,she cried for tears
only there weren't any.
Monday, May 19, 2008
My Husband's a genius!
The shower at our house has two settings - scalding hot or freezing cold. After getting burnt, frozen, burnt and frozen in the span of two seconds, I decided to bring this to my efficient husband's notice last Saturday. Two reasons for me being too optimistic about him being the best handyman around to help me out in a situation like this. 1) Wanted to ensure that he "does" something meaninigful in the house other than lazing around. 2) Wanted to find out whether he is even aware of this terrible problem that I am facing for the last so many days!
Surprisingly enough, he seemed to be pretty excited to be able to help me in this matter!!! And this is what happened for the rest of our Saturday...
Here is the chronology of events:
10:00 AM:
Face the problem and rush to my husband and inform him, who was very busily surfing the net.
10:02AM to 10:29AM:
Massive lecture from him on why I did the right thing by informing him and not calling the "callous" handymen around. They are good for nothing, and he is the fittest person fix this problem. Amen!
10:30 AM:
He decides to fix the problem
10:45 AM:
He reads from the “Do It Yourself Home Repair” book that the problem is easily fixed by changing the shower stem.
10:46 AM:
He goes back to his laptop! and hits Google to find out what the hell a shower stem is
10:57 AM:
He groans realizing that the “Do It Yourself Home Repair” and he has disagreement on the definition of “easy.”
11:20 AM: these events are as reported by my husband as I was not there, hence the authenticity of these events is highly suspicible (believe it at your own risk)
At the nearby Supermarket (My husband)
11:40 AM:
Still cruising Supermarket to find faucet stem. Ok, take a deep breath and ask for help (My husband)
11:55 AM:
After the numbnut associate took me on the exact same route I traversed to find the stem, look for somebody who has a clue and ask for help (My husband)
12:30 PM:
Back home with the stem (My husband)
12:40 PM:
He shuts off the water (not only of the bathroom but kitchen and other outlets as well! The lunch is still not ready!!!)
12:41 PM:
Thirsty. He curses loudly remembering that he had just turned off the water. he thinks he deserves a coke anyway. Shouts and commands for a coke, I oblige as I was still optimistic about his efficiency.
12:50 PM:
He takes off the shower knob (WoW!!!). Home repair isn’t that hard after all - I am impressed
12:51 PM:
He realizes that he doesn’t have Pipe wrench to remove the existing stem. Panic. He curses the Supermarket. He curses neighbor’s dog, for no specific reason (when did his curses ever have a reason, anyway?)
12:52 PM:
A victorious smile on his face, am excited. He says, "Oh wait, the new stem came with a stem wrench"
01:00 PM:
OK, he got the stem out. Am impressed. He says, "All I have to do is put the new stem in". Wow! Now all I have to do is call my friends and brag about my husband's efficiency!!!
01:01 PM:
Hold on! He says, "Funny optical illusions. The new stem in my hand looks considerably larger than the opening it needs to go into"
01:02 PM:
Holy crap. It’s the wrong size and dumbo that he is, he doesn't even realise that!
02:00 PM:
He is back from Supermarket armed with right sized stem (one mistake is always forgotten and forgiven! My poor husband, am still optimistic about his efficiency)
02:30 PM:
Stem firmly in place, We are minutes away from a lazy afternoon
02:40 PM:
*&*%%! now he says the knob doesn’t fit. This white threaded thing the knob has to slide onto, is too short. What the hell is this white tube thing called anyway?
02:45 PM:
He looks up his trusted “Do It Yourself Home Repair” and figures out it’s called a nipple. He giggles like a school girl. Come on, grow up, stop giggling and fix the damn problem. (Hold on, am I losing my cool? No way, I am looking forward to a fantastic weekend ahead)
02:46 PM:
He needs to figure out the size of the *giggle,giggle* nipple. (Wonder why the hell is he giggling and blushing? I shall definitely sort this out with him later)
02:50 PM:
Oh he is having fun looking up for “nipple” on google, with such a straight face, all men are &%*@%^*, but will deal with that later.
03:30 PM:
We both go to the Supermarket (Only fools let their husbands commit the same mistake twice and i am no fool). He needs to explain to the lady associate, who jumped in front of him (they never want to help me ever!) asking “May I help you”, what he is looking for in phrases that do not include any human body parts (this is fun!)
03:45 PM:
15 minutes of searching and the only nipples he found were of the red-necks walking around without shirts. With a sudden surge in gray matter activity, he realizes if the nipple doesn’t fit the knob, buy a new knob. Oh my husband's a genius! Am still impressed!
04:00 PM:
Back home. Everything fits! Whoohoo. He declares.
But then, why is the water coming out of the wall though? I ask innocently.
04:01 PM:
Goddamnit, he realises he didn’t tighten the stem enough.
04:10 PM:
Aha! All done now. All's well that ends well. All I have to do now is brag about it, carefully skipping over the part where my husband dropped the wrench on his toe.
And what better way it is to brag about the event than to blog about it so that the whole world gets to know.!!!
We did have a nice and lazy weekend after that. So what if we missed our lunch.
Surprisingly enough, he seemed to be pretty excited to be able to help me in this matter!!! And this is what happened for the rest of our Saturday...
Here is the chronology of events:
10:00 AM:
Face the problem and rush to my husband and inform him, who was very busily surfing the net.
10:02AM to 10:29AM:
Massive lecture from him on why I did the right thing by informing him and not calling the "callous" handymen around. They are good for nothing, and he is the fittest person fix this problem. Amen!
10:30 AM:
He decides to fix the problem
10:45 AM:
He reads from the “Do It Yourself Home Repair” book that the problem is easily fixed by changing the shower stem.
10:46 AM:
He goes back to his laptop! and hits Google to find out what the hell a shower stem is
10:57 AM:
He groans realizing that the “Do It Yourself Home Repair” and he has disagreement on the definition of “easy.”
11:20 AM: these events are as reported by my husband as I was not there, hence the authenticity of these events is highly suspicible (believe it at your own risk)
At the nearby Supermarket (My husband)
11:40 AM:
Still cruising Supermarket to find faucet stem. Ok, take a deep breath and ask for help (My husband)
11:55 AM:
After the numbnut associate took me on the exact same route I traversed to find the stem, look for somebody who has a clue and ask for help (My husband)
12:30 PM:
Back home with the stem (My husband)
12:40 PM:
He shuts off the water (not only of the bathroom but kitchen and other outlets as well! The lunch is still not ready!!!)
12:41 PM:
Thirsty. He curses loudly remembering that he had just turned off the water. he thinks he deserves a coke anyway. Shouts and commands for a coke, I oblige as I was still optimistic about his efficiency.
12:50 PM:
He takes off the shower knob (WoW!!!). Home repair isn’t that hard after all - I am impressed
12:51 PM:
He realizes that he doesn’t have Pipe wrench to remove the existing stem. Panic. He curses the Supermarket. He curses neighbor’s dog, for no specific reason (when did his curses ever have a reason, anyway?)
12:52 PM:
A victorious smile on his face, am excited. He says, "Oh wait, the new stem came with a stem wrench"
01:00 PM:
OK, he got the stem out. Am impressed. He says, "All I have to do is put the new stem in". Wow! Now all I have to do is call my friends and brag about my husband's efficiency!!!
01:01 PM:
Hold on! He says, "Funny optical illusions. The new stem in my hand looks considerably larger than the opening it needs to go into"
01:02 PM:
Holy crap. It’s the wrong size and dumbo that he is, he doesn't even realise that!
02:00 PM:
He is back from Supermarket armed with right sized stem (one mistake is always forgotten and forgiven! My poor husband, am still optimistic about his efficiency)
02:30 PM:
Stem firmly in place, We are minutes away from a lazy afternoon
02:40 PM:
*&*%%! now he says the knob doesn’t fit. This white threaded thing the knob has to slide onto, is too short. What the hell is this white tube thing called anyway?
02:45 PM:
He looks up his trusted “Do It Yourself Home Repair” and figures out it’s called a nipple. He giggles like a school girl. Come on, grow up, stop giggling and fix the damn problem. (Hold on, am I losing my cool? No way, I am looking forward to a fantastic weekend ahead)
02:46 PM:
He needs to figure out the size of the *giggle,giggle* nipple. (Wonder why the hell is he giggling and blushing? I shall definitely sort this out with him later)
02:50 PM:
Oh he is having fun looking up for “nipple” on google, with such a straight face, all men are &%*@%^*, but will deal with that later.
03:30 PM:
We both go to the Supermarket (Only fools let their husbands commit the same mistake twice and i am no fool). He needs to explain to the lady associate, who jumped in front of him (they never want to help me ever!) asking “May I help you”, what he is looking for in phrases that do not include any human body parts (this is fun!)
03:45 PM:
15 minutes of searching and the only nipples he found were of the red-necks walking around without shirts. With a sudden surge in gray matter activity, he realizes if the nipple doesn’t fit the knob, buy a new knob. Oh my husband's a genius! Am still impressed!
04:00 PM:
Back home. Everything fits! Whoohoo. He declares.
But then, why is the water coming out of the wall though? I ask innocently.
04:01 PM:
Goddamnit, he realises he didn’t tighten the stem enough.
04:10 PM:
Aha! All done now. All's well that ends well. All I have to do now is brag about it, carefully skipping over the part where my husband dropped the wrench on his toe.
And what better way it is to brag about the event than to blog about it so that the whole world gets to know.!!!
We did have a nice and lazy weekend after that. So what if we missed our lunch.
The hidden talents of children
When you receive some management training (like I did), and consequently lose some common sense (did I have any?), you tend to think like a manager (a different kind of a species, altogether) every waking minute. If the sight of anybody not working makes you wince (so what if you as a manager, have nothing for them to work on), imagine the pain it causes to see a resource run around half naked without any task assigned to him. Yes, I am talking about a toddler/preschooler. If you ever had tried to assign tasks to a preschooler, you would have realized that preschoolers’ work-ethic and their view towards work assignments are very unprofessional. How do you deal with a subordinate who takes the task and its materials, shoves them in the toilet and pees on them? Very unprofessional. Now, anybody who knows me, knows how much I love kids. Oh they are such angels. Personally speaking, my daughter had always been very well behaved and highly disciplined child (wonder where she had learned to be that way?) but I have had the privilege of spending my days and nights with some of the notorious kids world has ever witnessed and this blog of mine is dedicated to them. My first brush with one such toddler is my niece, Rimi, who is doing her +2 now. And this blog is particularly dedicated to her. Following her close is my cousin, Rinki, who is in std. VII now. Both these girls have given me experiences, which when I recount even today, I shudder. But before I proceed, Rimi will always be very special to me as she was the first ever kid I came in close association with, and Rinki is a sweetheart. Coming back to the main purpose of this blog, if as an over optimist parent, you still want to make your child work for you, you need to get creative in your assignments and the motivation you provide to ensure their timely delivery. Here are a few tasks I can suggest:
Get her to make the shopping list:
Simply ask your kid, “We have bread and bananas, what do you want to eat?” He will list you all the items that you don’t have in the house.
Get her to take care of weeds:
If you have weeds in your yard and want to get rid of them, show your kid how to water plants using a hose. And tell her that the weeds need constant watering. Give her 3 days to kill the weeds by drowning.
Get her to mash food:
Leave the food you want mashed on the floor. Place a mallet next to it and remove yourself from the view. A few minutes later your food will be mashed along with a few other things in the room. Statutory warning: You may find it a little inconvenient to retrieve your food that is evenly spread across the room.
Get her to find the permanent marker:
If you ever fail to find the permanent marker, put a white shirt on your kid. Leave her in the room and wait for her white shirt to turn black with the marker ink. She has found your marker.
Get rid of annoying co-passengers:
If you are on a flight and the guy in the next seat is trying to act smart with you or making conversation while you are trying to stay quiet, softly tell your kid, “This uncle knows how to tell a male cat from a female cat”. You can even get some sleep while those two sort out the matters.
Get her to point out the right capacitor:
You are often in this situation where you have a bunch of capacitors in your hand but only one fits the circuit perfectly (I am assuming you are hopeless geek). Place the capacitors in front of your child. The one she puts in her mouth and chews is the one you want.
Get her to shred paper:
Just hand any paper to her and tell her that it is a very important paper. It will be in million pieces before you can even say “wait”.
Get her to find condoms:
If you forgot where you kept your condoms, leave your kid in the bedroom. She finds them every time without fail. In fact, he will find them much faster if there is another person in the room, like a friend or a cousin. (Now this one is suggested my a male friend of mine while I was discussing "kids" with him - am more surprised with him than his kid here - wonder what another person like friend or cousin is doing in his bedroom while he is on the look out for a condom??!!!)
This list can go on and on. Like for example, if you need to hang up on a phone call that has gone too long, then just go to the room where your kid is. The rest will be taken care of. And then, if you are looking for all lost pins, needles and coins, they can best be found by these little champs. Am sure, all the parents living day-in-and-out with toddlers can come up with many more items on this list. After all my list is a decade old!
Get her to make the shopping list:
Simply ask your kid, “We have bread and bananas, what do you want to eat?” He will list you all the items that you don’t have in the house.
Get her to take care of weeds:
If you have weeds in your yard and want to get rid of them, show your kid how to water plants using a hose. And tell her that the weeds need constant watering. Give her 3 days to kill the weeds by drowning.
Get her to mash food:
Leave the food you want mashed on the floor. Place a mallet next to it and remove yourself from the view. A few minutes later your food will be mashed along with a few other things in the room. Statutory warning: You may find it a little inconvenient to retrieve your food that is evenly spread across the room.
Get her to find the permanent marker:
If you ever fail to find the permanent marker, put a white shirt on your kid. Leave her in the room and wait for her white shirt to turn black with the marker ink. She has found your marker.
Get rid of annoying co-passengers:
If you are on a flight and the guy in the next seat is trying to act smart with you or making conversation while you are trying to stay quiet, softly tell your kid, “This uncle knows how to tell a male cat from a female cat”. You can even get some sleep while those two sort out the matters.
Get her to point out the right capacitor:
You are often in this situation where you have a bunch of capacitors in your hand but only one fits the circuit perfectly (I am assuming you are hopeless geek). Place the capacitors in front of your child. The one she puts in her mouth and chews is the one you want.
Get her to shred paper:
Just hand any paper to her and tell her that it is a very important paper. It will be in million pieces before you can even say “wait”.
Get her to find condoms:
If you forgot where you kept your condoms, leave your kid in the bedroom. She finds them every time without fail. In fact, he will find them much faster if there is another person in the room, like a friend or a cousin. (Now this one is suggested my a male friend of mine while I was discussing "kids" with him - am more surprised with him than his kid here - wonder what another person like friend or cousin is doing in his bedroom while he is on the look out for a condom??!!!)
This list can go on and on. Like for example, if you need to hang up on a phone call that has gone too long, then just go to the room where your kid is. The rest will be taken care of. And then, if you are looking for all lost pins, needles and coins, they can best be found by these little champs. Am sure, all the parents living day-in-and-out with toddlers can come up with many more items on this list. After all my list is a decade old!
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Traffic Guidelines - A must to follow if you are driving on the streets of Kolkata
I don’t remember ever seeing a Traffic Rules book in our country, which includes the best city of the world, Kolkata as well. That might partly explain the traffic in India. Particularly in Kolkata, people seem to be making up their own rules as they go. But I love to drive in this part of the world, no matter how much people crib about traffic in Kolkata. Here is my humble attempt to reverse engineer the traffic rules from what I observed in my city (no matter what, Kolkata is the best):
1. You can drive anywhere on the road. Some people prefer to drive on the left side. Don’t pay any attention to the decorative white line in the middle of the road.
2. When you are completely stuck in a traffic jam and there is absolutely no chance to move even an inch, it is mandatory that you blare your horn.
3. When you use the head-lights, it is absolutely forbidden to use the low beam. Don't bother about drivers coming from the opposite direction.
4. Stopping or slowing down at red lights is appreciated.
5. It is a felony to be caught driving a motorbike without a mobile phone glued to your hand and ear.
6. When you collide with a motorist or pedestrian, it is customary to exchange profanities.
7. Pedestrians and cows have the right of way.
8. When the gate is closed at a railroad crossing, all vehicles that cannot pass under the gate must stop. If you can bend, crawl or roll yourself and your vehicle under the gate, you can continue without stopping.
9. Turning on the hazard lights (both indicators blinking) means you are going straight and not about to turn (I swear this is true)
10. When driving on deserted village roads, look straight ahead not sideways. Please respect the privacy of street side defecators.
I learnt all these and more, only by driving in our city. And yet people crib and complain about Kolkata drivers??!!! Shame on them.
1. You can drive anywhere on the road. Some people prefer to drive on the left side. Don’t pay any attention to the decorative white line in the middle of the road.
2. When you are completely stuck in a traffic jam and there is absolutely no chance to move even an inch, it is mandatory that you blare your horn.
3. When you use the head-lights, it is absolutely forbidden to use the low beam. Don't bother about drivers coming from the opposite direction.
4. Stopping or slowing down at red lights is appreciated.
5. It is a felony to be caught driving a motorbike without a mobile phone glued to your hand and ear.
6. When you collide with a motorist or pedestrian, it is customary to exchange profanities.
7. Pedestrians and cows have the right of way.
8. When the gate is closed at a railroad crossing, all vehicles that cannot pass under the gate must stop. If you can bend, crawl or roll yourself and your vehicle under the gate, you can continue without stopping.
9. Turning on the hazard lights (both indicators blinking) means you are going straight and not about to turn (I swear this is true)
10. When driving on deserted village roads, look straight ahead not sideways. Please respect the privacy of street side defecators.
I learnt all these and more, only by driving in our city. And yet people crib and complain about Kolkata drivers??!!! Shame on them.
Monday, May 5, 2008
Cheesy Delight!
Getting food on the table is easy for me. I walk into a restaurant, pick up the waiting take-out order and put it on the dining table. Some people prefer a more circuitous method called cooking. I strongly maintain that if all humans are meant to cook, we would have evolved with a spatula for a hand. In any case, I have recently been asked to produce macaroni and cheese by my daughter, not by the normal process of getting it from a restaurant but by the infinitely complex process called cooking.
What happened was, my over-ambitous 8 year old daughter promised mac-n-cheese to her friends over evening snacks one day and I was volunteered to fulfill the said promise! In her words, “Mac and cheese is easy. Boil milk. Pour macaroni. Add cheese and serve.” Simple it is! but for some reason, she insisted on me calling her friend's mother. When I didn't oblige, she called her favourite Reena aunty and got the recipe written. For resons best known to her and her Reena aunty, she actually called me up repeated and the recipe atleast 20 times!
The dish may sound simple but the recipe was not. My theory is that when a process involves heating milk to its boiling point, using hot burners and tongs, it should be classified as a chemical experiment rather than a process to produce something edible. Perhaps I should have started with a simpler dish. But as the old adage goes, all’s well that ends well. My cooking certainly ended well and the kids were well-fed and well-nourished.
When Reena came to my place later in the evening (she is my neighbour, after all), I was ready to accept the profusion of encomiums that were in order for the extraordinary job I performed. But no! No accolades. No words of praise. Not even a small gift of appreciation. (Am sure she was jealous!!!)
All she did was look at the dish in which I produced my magnum opus and raise an eyebrow. I waited for the other eyebrow to follow suit but it didn’t. That was not a good sign.
She: (Suspiciously) Why is there ketchup in mac and cheese?
She was in dire need of enlightenment.
Me: When food has a smoky flavor, you nuke it with ketchup
She: It must have tasted awful!
Me: On the contrary, the kids just loved it. (vigorous head-nodding approval from the kids)
She: (Growing more suspicious) Why did the mac-and-cheese have a smoky flavor?
I continued to enlighten her.
Me: Food assumes a smoky flavor when it is burnt
She: You burned MAC-AND-CHEESE? How could anyone burn Mac and cheese! It’s the simplest thing in the world to make!
I would argue with the choice of the word “simple” but it was not the best time for the dissertation of my chemical experiment theory.
Me: It’s not my fault. It’s my daughter's fault.
She: How so?
Me: See, after I put the macaroni in boiling milk, I needed to wait a few minutes for it to cook. So I told Millie (my daughter) to watch it while I cleaned the broken glass in the kids room (thanks to your wicked son! Ofcourse this I couldnot tell Reena). Apparently in her vocabulary, “cooked” means “general texture of bituminous coal”
She: YOU LEFT A 8 YEAR OLD AT THE STOVE!?
Me: I know, she completely blew it. In retrospect I should have watched the pot while she did the cleaning. But hindsight is 20/20.
She couldn’t speak for a few minutes probably mulling over the cogency of my argument.
She: (Resignedly) So the kids ate that charred glob.
Me: Why would I do that? I extracted all matter of certain color and brittleness and disposed it carefully in the trash. Then I doubled the cheese portion to compensate for the lost macaroni.
She: Let me get this straight, the kids basically ate a ball of cheese with ketchup.
Me: Ah, Reena! You make it sound so unappetizing!!!
What happened was, my over-ambitous 8 year old daughter promised mac-n-cheese to her friends over evening snacks one day and I was volunteered to fulfill the said promise! In her words, “Mac and cheese is easy. Boil milk. Pour macaroni. Add cheese and serve.” Simple it is! but for some reason, she insisted on me calling her friend's mother. When I didn't oblige, she called her favourite Reena aunty and got the recipe written. For resons best known to her and her Reena aunty, she actually called me up repeated and the recipe atleast 20 times!
The dish may sound simple but the recipe was not. My theory is that when a process involves heating milk to its boiling point, using hot burners and tongs, it should be classified as a chemical experiment rather than a process to produce something edible. Perhaps I should have started with a simpler dish. But as the old adage goes, all’s well that ends well. My cooking certainly ended well and the kids were well-fed and well-nourished.
When Reena came to my place later in the evening (she is my neighbour, after all), I was ready to accept the profusion of encomiums that were in order for the extraordinary job I performed. But no! No accolades. No words of praise. Not even a small gift of appreciation. (Am sure she was jealous!!!)
All she did was look at the dish in which I produced my magnum opus and raise an eyebrow. I waited for the other eyebrow to follow suit but it didn’t. That was not a good sign.
She: (Suspiciously) Why is there ketchup in mac and cheese?
She was in dire need of enlightenment.
Me: When food has a smoky flavor, you nuke it with ketchup
She: It must have tasted awful!
Me: On the contrary, the kids just loved it. (vigorous head-nodding approval from the kids)
She: (Growing more suspicious) Why did the mac-and-cheese have a smoky flavor?
I continued to enlighten her.
Me: Food assumes a smoky flavor when it is burnt
She: You burned MAC-AND-CHEESE? How could anyone burn Mac and cheese! It’s the simplest thing in the world to make!
I would argue with the choice of the word “simple” but it was not the best time for the dissertation of my chemical experiment theory.
Me: It’s not my fault. It’s my daughter's fault.
She: How so?
Me: See, after I put the macaroni in boiling milk, I needed to wait a few minutes for it to cook. So I told Millie (my daughter) to watch it while I cleaned the broken glass in the kids room (thanks to your wicked son! Ofcourse this I couldnot tell Reena). Apparently in her vocabulary, “cooked” means “general texture of bituminous coal”
She: YOU LEFT A 8 YEAR OLD AT THE STOVE!?
Me: I know, she completely blew it. In retrospect I should have watched the pot while she did the cleaning. But hindsight is 20/20.
She couldn’t speak for a few minutes probably mulling over the cogency of my argument.
She: (Resignedly) So the kids ate that charred glob.
Me: Why would I do that? I extracted all matter of certain color and brittleness and disposed it carefully in the trash. Then I doubled the cheese portion to compensate for the lost macaroni.
She: Let me get this straight, the kids basically ate a ball of cheese with ketchup.
Me: Ah, Reena! You make it sound so unappetizing!!!
Love me
I have been waiting for you.
Almost for a year or two.
Sitting patiently at your door.
On this cold dust swept floor.
Oh please, let me in your empty room,
and sweep away the dark and gloom,
Draw the curtains and fill with light
Where there is an eternal night.
Let me hang my poems by your window
Light your evening lamps, your conch shell blow
Complete your night and day
With magical songs and simple play.
But you go up and down these steps, a daily chore,
You often pass me by, yet ignore
And raise a scornful brow
You pretend, me you do not know.
A small opening is all I need
I have no ego, to you I plead
Throw me a small crumb, attention some
Make me feel wanted, a bit welcome.
Once in a while you sit by me, and try
When I tell you my sad tale wry.
You laugh at me and say - be realistic, life is not a play!
Don't waste your time here, just go away
But I still hope, and I stay.
Let me bind you I pray,
my poor ignorant bird, with my ethereal rhythm
You who want to fly away from freedom.
Almost for a year or two.
Sitting patiently at your door.
On this cold dust swept floor.
Oh please, let me in your empty room,
and sweep away the dark and gloom,
Draw the curtains and fill with light
Where there is an eternal night.
Let me hang my poems by your window
Light your evening lamps, your conch shell blow
Complete your night and day
With magical songs and simple play.
But you go up and down these steps, a daily chore,
You often pass me by, yet ignore
And raise a scornful brow
You pretend, me you do not know.
A small opening is all I need
I have no ego, to you I plead
Throw me a small crumb, attention some
Make me feel wanted, a bit welcome.
Once in a while you sit by me, and try
When I tell you my sad tale wry.
You laugh at me and say - be realistic, life is not a play!
Don't waste your time here, just go away
But I still hope, and I stay.
Let me bind you I pray,
my poor ignorant bird, with my ethereal rhythm
You who want to fly away from freedom.
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