Escape...if you may

This is goodbye...goodbye forever...goodbye for good.

No, it is not what you think. I rather like you, and that's why. I am afraid I will fall in love with you. You won't like that...ok fine, am not being honest. I actually love you...love you more than I ever thought I would be able to love someone.

My love is a grasping clinging all-pervasive thing. I get insecure if you so much as look at someone else. My love and my world is be so full of you that there is no room for others, but I know you don't love me in the same way. You talk to others, you have a life beyond me... If somebody ever mentions your name and I get insanely jealous.

And neither of us wants that.

I love you to the extent that my own self is subsumed in my love for you. That I have realised, is rather exhausting and you don't like ir.

So I am stopping before I can get to those stages of devotion, longing and madness. I am quitting before you feel claustrophobic and shackled, before you will resent me and my helpless adoration. Because I am scared.

Escape while you can.

Mistakes - The only right thing in Life

(Apologies for a confused, jumbled post. But let me call it my Post-Modernist/ Anti-Positivist style).

Happily ever after…..Yes, maybe. Most of us want a life without grave illness or never see poverty. We do want our basics to be fine, whatever we think our basics are (basics you see is highly subjective).

Also, happiness is an ambiguous word. For some, happily ever after may mean five bottles of beer (my husband) and steaks everyday. Of course, we can’t define what makes people happy, matter of fact some people are drawn to depression. True, being sad somehow does it for them. All right, brand me as insensitive (no you cant really do that, as I myself, am in that phase at the moment), but hey, some people do have a subversive sense of ‘joy’.

No, no, this is not an attack on depressed people, don’t worry. This is about those irresistible imperfect choices. Wrong choices are alluring…that guy with the colorful Mohawk, that eyebrow piercing, that 90’s perm that made you look like an alien, that roadside snack, that candy the stranger gave…the first cigerratte and so on...

Look at fairytales. Somehow, most fairy tales are about wrong choices and their consequences and a journey to set it right. In Cinderella, Dad marries the wrong woman, prince falls for just that girl who is not invited to the ball…for that matter almost every fairytale is about wrong choices. I mean, for thousands of years we have told our children where wrong choices can lead us to only to ensure that they make that wrong choice! And that too in life we are left without the magic to make things fine again.

I do think making the wrong choice is the essence of life. We have to, or else how do we set it right again? Or not set it right, continue the misdeed and make a total mess. But doing the wrong thing is essential. Wait, there is a narrow border between stark stupidity and making mistakes. If you wear a superman cape and jump from a building it’s stupid, just plain stupid. But if you thought you could paint and joined an art class to only realize you can’t even draw a smiley face, then it’s a mistake.

So, why am I rambling about fairytales, mistakes, redemption, nemesis. I have no clue why. It’s like this inexplicable urge to go on a picnic with an aluminum vessel with girls on the beach and sing ‘Mausam mastana, rasta anjana’. See, that’s what I mean there is no logical reasoning. Also, when we are talking of mistakes logic and rationality are not the keywords.

Although, recently I have been thinking a lot about mistakes, wrong choices...I know, I have been thoughtful for a change instead of searching for free music online. All I can say, is my wrong choices were essential. This priceless lesson of life, yes, I was wrong and I want to set it right. Let me define myself in the Bollywood way. I would rather say ‘Bade bade shehron mein aisi choti choti baatein hoti rehti hai’ than sob like Kaka and sing ‘Humse ka bhool hui…’

...ok, I know you now want to label this post as "fully faltoo"... but dont do tht. It is not...this post is dedicated to the the miskates of my life which has made me what I am today...

Hindi Film Song Lyrics

Since I have nothing better to do at the moment, I decided to work with our famous Bollywood songs... So here it goes...

When I saw a girl in 1942, it felt like...

Blossoming Rose - 14.28%
Poet's Dream - 14.28%
Luminous Ray - 14.28%
Deer in forest - 14.28%
Moonlit Night- 14.28%
Soft Words- 14.28%
Lamp Lit in Temple - 14.28%

Attributes of Govinda that are SEXY ( Y=Yes, N=No)

Pant - Y
Shirt - Y
Hair - Y
Walk - Y
Even his damn hanky - Y!!!

Heisenberg's Principle of Love Uncertainty...

Somebody Lives...

Infront of my eyes - 50%
Near my Liver! - 50%

It You...you...you!!!

The following are fast asleep... Please rate the following

Standards - AW=Awake
As= Asleep
RA= Really Asleep
CM= Comatose

This World - Your rating - AS
Sky - Your Rating - AS
All Destinations - Your rating - RA
Road - Your rating - AS

Rajesh Khanna's Algorithm in LIFE

What Happened >> How did it happen >> When did it happen >> Why did it happen >> When did it happen >> When it happened >> Then it happened >> Ditch that shit >>>> What Happened >>.....

Things Govinda does and doesnot care about

Govinda Does Not care about : Your Grandmother's death
Govinda does care about: Walking on the road
Eating Bhelpuri
Showing girl around the town

Ok, enough now! what do you trhink, I really have nothing to do???!!! Grrrrrrrr

International Women's Day

Hmm... International Women's Day... and boy! (sorry, girl) some celebration it was, and still is. Radio, Television, Newspaper, Net, Shopping Malls, you name it, and they all have something or the other to offer you on International Women's Day...one day in a year is Your Day, woman, so go out and celebrate.

Every celebrity is writing about this day, and their feeling associated with womanhood... from Shobhaa De' to Nita Ambani to some hottie of the Bollywood Industry named Amrita Rao...they all had to contribute their views on the Sunday Times on Womanhood... so I thought, why not me? - in my own world, am a celebrity, and in my own blog, am free to express my feelings on being a woman... so here it goes... Na, dont get me wrong, my post is not about the "political" or "social" or "economical" or "blah-blah" side of Women's Day. Rather it is about those intense girlie moments, those total feminine zones that no one, no one can take away from us.

Though I studied in co-ed school and college and university, and right from my kindergarten days till the work atmosphere am in, I have had the privilege of interacting with boys, cool dudes and gentlemen, but if I lived my life all over again, one thing that will not change is that I love spending time with women. Yes, I love spending all my time with women, and stop any imagination, I am totally straight. But this is about happiness, that feeling of absolute joy and completion I know, this is the deep stuff. Recently, I was contemplating over what makes me happy and fortunately the answer was not ‘death by chocolate’ or jugs of good stout. I am happy when I am with my girlfriends. Wait, let me just elaborate this.

Let me define some of the happiest moments of my life. I was happy almost every day in Kolkata during my college days when Enasree and I started our everyday agenda together, draped in a similar kinda attire (yes, our dresses were almost similar, and even shoes!) we bunked classes, talked, giggled and talked again. God! We were happy, so, so happy. Happiness was spending time with our gang at Scottish on the backside stairs and each of us talking at the same time, happiness was in our cacophony and those O! So British Wodehouse references or random connection between Tom Jones and Anil Kapoor, or maybe simply bitching about other "gangs" and "girls".

Hmm...happiness... Happiness was forcing Enasree to miss her train timing and then all the way walking with her to Bagbazar bus stop from where she would hail her bus and i would see her off. Happiness was going out for shopping in the New Market with minimum possible fund available in our pockets - now thats what i really call "window shopping". Happiness was going for those "A" rated english movies and giggling and blushing continuously while we were watching them. Happiness was "chasing" guys! (yes, we also had our share of fun, guys!). Happiness was both myself and Enasree having a crush on the same guy and both trying to woo him and laughing off together when "that guy" went to a third girl altogether :-). Happiness was our little birthday bashes. Happiness was that scary movie I watched with Mili clasping her hands. Happiness was those shopping sprees where there was no one to stop you from shopping as all was equally into it. Happiness was some bad piece of advise given to Sonia and then not even regretting it. Happiness was those long streched telephone calls with mothers shouting behind us. Happiness was those silly greetings cards, that purple bra which only she(name withheld) thought was hot, those useless tips on sex, those remedies for hair loss, those secret recipee', and ofcourse those unadulterated gossips!

They say you are happy when you are totally focused in the present, that moment of inexplicable bliss when your mind is not regretting the past or is worried about future. Every time I am with women, I am in that state of bliss (and yes, I am aware how this sounds!). Also, I have hardly met any woman (actually there are a few of them, but anyways) whom I don’t like. Somehow I find it super easy to like women. I agree that a major part of our life goes in obsessing about men, come on, humor me I am in this typical chick flick writer mood today. But somehow for every trouble, every sneeze, every little disarray we run to women.

So today, I celebrate International Women's day by remembering all my women friends, who at every point of time helped me by giving me immense pleasure and happiness, just by being with me. They actually helped me be thankful to God for being a woman... God bless them all and make their life desirable and self content in every possible way.

Conference Calls

Canada. California. New York. Armonk. Mexico. And, to ice the cake, Bangalore. The conference call was scheduled to start at 9:30 in the morning, and at 9:29, I realized that the phone in the corner of my desk did not have an international calling facility. I was sitting there, all prepared, my papers spread out in front of me, my pen handy, my head going over the different methods of opening the conversation, saying “Hi” or “Hello” or “Good morning”, and then, I sat there listening to the sweet yet hideous female voice telling me that this service isn’t available on this phone.

I wondered what to do. The clock ticked away the seconds of the one minute left for me to sign into the call. I gulped and took a decision that I knew I’d regret. I flipped open my mobile and punched in the numbers. I prayed hard, hoping the call would end in a few minutes. It didn’t. It lasted for an hour and fifty minutes. I sighed and resigned myself for a fat bill this month. The recession time has hit our Industry big time. Companies are on cost cutting mode... but what about the poor employees? Am still dreading the time I will see the bill for this month....

Conference calls, according to me, are a supreme waste of time. I think more work can be accomplished through an email. The first twenty minutes are obviously spent in introducing all the people in the call. The next thirty-odd minutes go away in outlining the agenda for the conference call. The remaining hour or so is spent in asking people to speak up; apologizing for loud cell phones; apologizing for the rackets behind their respective backs; and finally, asking everyone present if they understood the last point. More often than not, there will be at least three jerks who would not have paid attention, and they would ask you to repeat the last point.

The frustrating thing about these conference calls is that you cannot abuse anyone verbally. If the same meeting is held over emails, then before sending each and every email, you can let out the wonderful stream of expletives, and feel good about yourself and the other person’s lack of knowledge. You can question his/her ability to think straight, his/her man-/womanhood, his/her ridiculous name, and lot of other things. But on a conference call, you have to hold your tongue and treat even the most outrageous of jerks with an amount of respect. It takes so much out of you. You can’t even make fun of funny names!

Anyway, I have had too many conference calls till now. I think I’ve devised a formula to survive each one of them. I call it “Apparent Indifference” - if you give the impression to the other jerks on the call that you’re indifferent about the outcome, then they’ll fall over themselves to spell out each and ever point of concern and make sure that each and every doubt has been answered. This, of course, helps me in making the meeting a success.

Oh, I hate conference calls. Of course, the only advantage the conference call has over board-room meetings is that you can fart loudly and get away with it... but having said that I have never enjoyed this experience much, only because I hate the idea of farting in public - with one exception - my husband! He is excused, i love him too much to feel irritated about this one (of the innumerable) bad habbit of his :-)

Auto-nomy of Autorickshaws

[Put your city name] autorickshaw drivers are evil, greedy, and uncivil anti-social elements.

This statement seems to have more support in Kolkata that both Mamta Bannerjee and Buddhadeb Babu's followers put together; or in Bangalore than all the Dravidian parties put together. It is also a frequent topic of discussion at most (well..middle class) social gatherings. The interesting thing is (at least for me) that there is little or no debate. It is a simply a one-way rant. [Any Indian city name] auto-drivers are scoundrels of the first (or even better..zeroth) order and that’s simply the end of the story. Since the unfortunate victims of this country-wide badmouthing orgy are usually not invited to middle-class social gatherings to narrate their side of the story, I have decided to play Devil’s advocate. As people see it, they are the devils and I am their advocate. I enjoy taking unpopular positions and I dont mind being clobbered for being so obviously on the wrong side of the issue.

Let’s a first get a few things straight. Very rarely do I ever encounter an honest, transparent and law-abiding auto driver in India. Just imagine my role as being a public prosecutor for a criminal who is not going to be able to attract any decent lawyer to defend him. All I am going to do is to ask some unasked questions and do my lawful duty by making an honest attempt to see things from the auto drivers’ perspective.

So let’s list down all the unquestionable “truths” about Indian autos and see if they stand up to some semblance of scrutiny.

Auto drivers use a lot of disrespectful and foul language.

Right. No debate about that. Auto drivers are not known for their politeness. But are we perhaps possibly dealing with a cultural difference here? An average Punjabi uses extremely profane curses as punctuation, prepositions and conjuctions (and the occasional interjection) on a day to day basis, but most people in North India may not take these curses literally. The day to day struggle of those below the middle class is expected to produce the occasional outburst of rudeness interspersed with the actual intended communication. And by the way, my educated and well-behaved husband also uses words beyond any strech of my imagination when he is driving.

The point: Dont read more into the language than is necessary. Politeness and propriety are often linked with socio-cultural backgrounds. Germans are rude. Americans are brash. Brits are snobbish. Auto drivers are ... like that.

Auto drivers are rude and uncouth

I know this is a little way-out, but have we ever stopped to consider how we behave with them? Do we all behave like angels? Or do we perhaps show a little bit of that age-old Indian class superiority (Caste..I am afraid is a bad word nowadays) when dealing with people who are, from an socio-economic standpoint, below us? Is it just possible, just a little, that a lot of us in the middle class are simply not used to “those sort of people” answering back or being assertive? Is there a slender possibility that we are part of this vicious circle of uncivility?

Auto drivers overcharge and do not respect government stipulated rates

Let’s ask this question. What is the “correct” rate for auto travel? How do we know that the government has not set ridiculously low rates, rates that keep the auto drivers in grinding poverty? An average Indian auto driver makes 30 rupees, while driving through nightmarish traffic. Just a thought. And about abiding by "government" stipulated rates... tell me something, how many of us providing services ever think about whether the charges we levy for our services are over or underrated? A doctor's fee, a lawyer's fee, a consultant's charges - r they all justified? The rare the skill of a doctor, the more he charges! A specialised doc will charge more than a regular MBBS... then why an autodriver will not charge you double the rate when it comes to hailing an auto at night, or when the supply is less??? Its economics, you see.

I believe standalone Meter regulated fares will never work. Auto drivers will always find a way to “heat” them up. So it is important to realize that there are 3 forces at play in this game. (The game is defined as the “negotiation” between prospective commuter and the auto driver)

1. The fare that the commuter is willing to pay
2. The fare that the auto driver is willing to expect

One of the problems is that the commuter does his calculations based on

1. An assumption that the auto driver is anyway likely to state an inflated fare
2. The amount he can afford based on his average earnings etc
3. An approximate idea of general economic inflation, government approved meter rates etc

While the auto driver does his calculations based on

1. The percentage of the fare that he will, in any case, have to pay as “hafta” to corrupt policemen
2. His understanding of inflation and prices of petrol etc
3. His estimation of
   how well off the commuter is
   how urgent is the commuter need
4. His desire to lead a life at a level above that of slum-level existence.

In this sort of an unbalanced game, I am just wondering if we should apply a free market model to autos. Of course, we will have to solve the problem of police ownership and cartels, but I think, a variable pricing model could work moderately better than what we have today. We accept variable pricing in a lot of situations - property rates, airline tickets, tatkal railway tickets etc. So how about a three tiered model of

• basic autos - with low end fares
• Mid-tier autos
• Luxury autos

The numbers of each one of them will be determined by actual demand. Further, a series of call-centres (kind of like the Call-taxi model) that log all auto journeys (start distance, end distance) and also monitor the legality of the meters. Auto drivers should also rotate between the three tiers to make the system fair for everybody. Where the government can play a role is to pay some sort of a monthly stipend to auto drivers that will go a long way to improve their lot and potentially reduce their desperation to cheat and fleece. How will the government pay for this? We could consider a per fare tax on mid-tier and luxury autos that the government earns.

Loved And Lost

People say, "Its better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all"

But I have not come across any learned person who can preach/teach/advise on the experience of "Losing in Love". You love someone, truely, very truely; that someone also loves you, truely, very truely...or so he claims. And time rolls by... over the time, your relationship matures... and then? then he starts taking you for granted, and you get used to it. He starts losing interest in you, and you get used to it. He lies to you, and you get used to it. Initially it starts as compromise and adjustment, then you rrealize things have gone too far out of control. He lies are regular, his ignoring you is more evident than ever... and then, then what? Like two educated, matured individual, you seem to be realizing the existance of a potential threat...a problem...a disease...yes, your relationship is ill now... you two "talk it out" in order to sort out...now, how do you do that? Again, call it modernization, or the power of education, or whatever you feel like...you analyze, you two look back, list the problems and try to find out solutions to them... but yes, thats where I guess you two are wrong...you look for problems, but not their root cause.... however, since you two dont relaise that, you concentrate on finding solutions to your problems. Now lets say, you figured out the following problems in your relationship:
a)
b)
c)
d)
To these problems, you map some solutions, which are:
A)
B)
C)
D)
And both of you genuinely work on them... the solutions, ie,... one day, two days, a week, two weeks...perfect... just when you feel a sense of achievement that you have saved your relation... things go wrong again... you again realize, he is again hiding truths, he is again not paying you enough attention, he is again.... (ok, this is applicable both ways, I mean please dont think of me as a pucca feminist here, though that I am, but here, its not about that, so please...just for my convenience am writing "him" here, it can be "her" or "both" as well)...so coming back to the main point, yes the symptoms appear again... your relationship is again ill.... again the process continues... now my question, HOW LONG?

If you are patient, you will give this many more shots... but soon you will notice, that the solution that you guys work out are all temporary... symptoms re-appear...may be their forms differ...but if you analyze you will find familiar traits in them... have you ever realized, that if you are hit by viral every month, then what happens to you? you become weak, right? in a similar way, your relationship also becomes weaker and weaker with this continuous illness, which keeps appearing almost every 2-3 weeks...

Pathetic situation, isnt it...but look into your life... you will find it similar, and if you dont, you are really lucky, my friend.

You are still in love, for sure, but you are not sure if the other person is...you care for the "relationship" - but the other person? does he? you keep banging your head on everything, and keep on asking everything you come across with... WHAT WENT WRONG??? but do you always get the answer?

Thats when... You are in Love, but you have lost it... thats where I am now...am in love...but I have lost it.

Truth v/s Peace

There is this one conflict which probably all of us have experienced at some point of time or the other. My English teacher used to say (and probably, everybody has heard similar things from some senior or the other) that at every crossroad of life, you will get two roads. One of them would be the easy way out to all your problems that you might be facing at that particular time. This road will give you probably all the comforts that you are looking out for, it will give you pleasures unlimited and soo you will feel that you have taken the right road and be happy about it. The other road will be the difficult one - where you will face lot of difficulties and hard times. This road leads to the truth. Every step you take on that road, you will have to fight your way out, and its going to be tough... but in the long run you will emerge a winner if you can stick on to that road.

Each one of us have some golden words deep rooted in our hearts which we regard as THE PRINCIPLE of our lives. For me, my English Teacher's words were like that. She taught me the importance of honesty and truthfulness. She taught me the value of being an honest person. As I grew up and faced tougher situations in life that attaining surprise class tests, I realised that she was indeed right in what she said. At every crossroad of my life, I did get two roads. Like during exam times, if I had not prepared well, the easy way out would have been cheating from my friend's copy. And I did that in life once, and got very good marks. So apparently, I should have been happy...not studying and even getting good marks is cool!!! But that day, when I went back home, showed my copy to my father and uncles, and got a lot of appreciation from them, I felt so cheap. They were praising me for something that is not mine - the score of that exam was definitely not mine - it was my friend's score they were praising - I felt so hollow. Today I thank my English teacher (and indirectly God) for giving me that maturity to realise that this praise, and all the good thingsa that were happenning to me because of my chetaing, were not good at all. I realised, if I had not cheated, then my score would have been less, probably I would have got a bashing from my father for that low a score, probably some form of punishment as well like, no chocolates for the next one week or whatever...but atleast I would have been at peace... and today, I thnak God for making me realise that when I was 14 years old.

What is peace - is peace all about not facing the truth? is peace all about running away from the truth? is peace all about not standing by what you believe? - why? just because if you face the truth, or stand by it, you may face a lot of hardships? This lead me to a question I often ask myself and others as well... why do we lie? I have got many answers to this question of mine:

a) We lie in order to save someone else - perfect
b) We lie to avoid violence - why?
c) We lie because thats the ony resort - who said so?
d) We lie because we are afraid of speaking the truth - what is "fear"?

I know, there cannot be generalisations in life - each and every one of us is different, we face unique circumstances, and even if we face similar circumstances, we definitely react uniquely to them. So probably, each one of us have our own unique reasonning for our lies. But I still cannot understand why we have to lie...why we have to deviate from the truth. Take my example. Was I really happy to get all the adulation and appreciation for getting high score in exam? No, I was not...simply becuase I didnt deserve them. I realised that I would have been better off if I didnt cheat, and got less marks instead. But at that point of time, when I decided to cheat, probably I took that decision because:

a) I thought that would "save" me from getting less marks
b) I thought that would help me "avoid" my father's punishments
c) I thought that the "only resort" to save myself from the fact that I didnt do my studies which I should have
d) I was "afraid" of facing the consequences

But the fact remains that by "cheating", I was no better-off... even though apparently everything turned out to be just perfect for me. Then the question arises, even though everything was the best that could have happened under the given circumstance - why did I feel bad about it? - the reason is - my CONSCIENCE... yes, our conscience tells us what is right and what is wrong. My conscience told me not to cheat ever, and never in my life I cheated during exam...

So may be, people who continues to lie in their lives, their conscience doesnt stop them from doing so... this led me to another question, which I am still looking out for an answer...

Why are there people who conscinece doesnt tell them that TRUTH is the ultimate... you should always strive to speak the truth, stand by the truth and face the truth... because good, or bad; peaceful or violent; acceptable or not-acceptable; TRUTH is the ultimate, u cannot change it...so why cover it up with LIES??? Just for a temporary relief? Just for a temporary peaceful ambience? Just for a little bit of more comfort?

Am still looking out for answers - please do let me know your views...why do we LIE, and can LIES actually cover up the TRUTH? Can the tower of PEACE be built on the pillar of LIES? Can such TOWER suvive for long? Can you actually be at peace by covering up TRUTH? Can you have a peaceful night's dream, when you know you are lieing, or hiding truth? Can we look into our eyes in the mirror, when we have done something our CONSCIENCE doesnt approve of?

I have these questions am seeking out answers for... If I lie, can I teach my children the value of truth? Or is it not important at all to teach our children the value of honesty - simply because if am not honest, I dont value it myself... what values are we planning to give to our next generation? I remember a quote, once a friend of mine used as his signature

"Is the child you were, proud of the man you are?"

And if not...can you really pass on the qualities of your chilhood to your next generation?...You cannot, simply because you do not possess them anymore...so my dear grown ups, next time you do anything, that your childhood would not approve of...stop right then, not for you, but for your child...because WHAT YOU ARE TODAY, YOUR CHILD WILL BECOME TOMORROW...stop that from happenning...its better late than never.

I Hate You!!!

We all hate somebody. It’s in our blood. We can’t help but hate a few people, and in certain special circumstances, we hate someone so much that we are prepared to do anything to make their lives miserable. Irrespective of our religious beliefs, line of work, nationality or faith, we hate people.

We hate a few because of the way they talk. We hate a few more because of the way they laugh. Sometimes, their reactions to a few situations make our blood boil. Some people’s tastes in music makes us want to tear our hair out in frustration. We don’t like the way some people dress. We hate it when some people crowd around us, invading our personal space. We hate some people for the kind of emails they send. We hate some people because they say, “Reeeealy??” in a very very irritating manner for every little statement we make. We hate some people who lie. We hate a few for being mean and heartless. We hate people who make false promises. Sometimes, very rarely, we hate someone just because they exist.

What can we do when we bump into such people? I’d suggest the straight-forward means of screaming into their faces, “I hate you!” but this may not go down well with most people. The other, subtle non-violent way of pissing them off is to write them a Hate Mail. Something like "You Suck!!!" But nowadays, the same two words have a very erotic implication, and isn’t used much often. Anyways...

Instead, you can resort to a more flowery longhand version - the email. If you are brave enough, you can send the mail from your own email ID, otherwise you could take the trouble to create a new email ID called something like ihateyourballs@gmail.com or something more subtle like a.hole@gmail.com. and send out Hate Mails to the objects of your hatred.

I don’t really suggest you do this, because such incriminating emails have a very strong possibility of being mistaken for the work of a terrorist or worse, the HR Managers. So, I suggest you send Hate Mails from your own email ID, because as they say in Hindi, “Nafrat kiya toh darna kya?” (Why fear if you hate?)

Be your flowery best, use words like fornication and obfuscation and make them believe that you’re praising them. For example, “Your ability to obfuscate others is awe-inspiringly fornicative!” will actually make him/her feel proud. Only when the person refers to a dictionary will he/she get your drift.

The best Hate Mails are written as part of the final goodbye emails that you write while leaving an organization. People are expecting the usual sentimental shit and you give them that: “My time here in this great organization was an anachronism - a testament to my patience.”

So, let’s be prepared to send out those email that you’ve always saved in drafts and never had the guts to send. And let the man/woman know how much you love to hate him/her!

Resolution for 2009

• I want to smile more this year, irrespective of the situation. I want to be able to convince myself that punching myself in the face while asleep is not worth losing a smile.
• I want to make sure that I think seriously about making a resolution to consider the possibility of a faint chance of quitting fighting with my loved ones more often than ever.
• I wish this year has some surprises in store for me, because all 2008 had to offer was one heartbreak after another.
• In the same vein, I hope to find true love, clichéd as it may sound.
• I want to go to Austria (Vienna)
• I want to feel like God - I want to buy a new car and/or a property!
• I wish I can convince myself to start working out again - atleast a routine walk everyday.
• I wish I could sleep for 16 hours a day and laze around in bed for the other 8.
• I wish I could wish for more wishes.
• I wish I could make others feel better.
• I wish people can live in peace without having to kill for it.
• I wish I could make at least one person happy per day.
• I wish I can grow a year old and look back at myself with pride for having accomplished at least one of the above.