Ever since I have landed in Vienna, all my friends are asking me religiously and i am sick and tired of being asked if I'm having fun, and I want to address this question for once and for all : No, I am not having "fun". I have never intended to have "any" in my life so far, and wish to not have it anytime in the near future, whether in Vienna, or Varanasi. I am quite happy to be "happy", or may be at times joyful, but no thanks! fun, I have no intention to have.
CAll me irritably "old-fashioned" or reasonably repressed, or just a plain old bore without bothering much about rhetoric, but I can never get my mind around how activities usually labelled "fun" can actually be "funny" or at most "pleasurable". My colleagues here prod me almost every evening to "come out with us ahd have some fun!" events which are nothing but pubbing followed by some more pubbing and then... pubbing again! And I dont find anything "fun" in there. If you honestly ask me, which i realize you dont, but nevertheless, "having fun" seems like an aggressive advertisement of one's money power to attain privilege of sharing an illusion of a good time, and pretention of having "fun". YOu may call me judgemental but I think thats just an escapist's way to bury his head deeper into the waves of denial about the overstressed and messy life that he is possibly leading.
What puts me "off" fun?,,,ummmn, let me think...aggressionand loudness puts me off fun. ummnn, and a certain level of herd mentality as well. add to it the extremely boring predictability. yes, i think that completes the list..more or less. For me fun is more about being happy...and happiness cannot be grasped merely by "hanging" out at all "happenning" places. If you ask me, which I know you dont, but nevertheless, I am deeply suspicious of any mass-prescribed recipe for "fun", from alcohol to spas. Here, being in Vienna, am getting a sense of lost identity as the only "fun" seems to be in pubbing pubbing and more pubbing.
As I spend my day here, I realize happiness is with your loved ones - otherwise how do you define me not having chocolates and pastries being in the land of them? how do you define me hardly sleeping 5-6 hours a day and not even feeling bad about it. how do you define me being hooked onto the net almost 24hours a day!!! (incase you dont know...i hate being online all the time)... fun is not about "things" it is about "people" and it took me to travel this far to realize this. The things that actually would hv given me fun...I dont even feel like doing them here, as there is not my loved ones to share those "fun" moments with... fun is not "pubbing" fun is about being with your loved ones.
I miss the stupid serials my daughter watches. I miss preparing her breakfast at 5 in the morning, I miss driving through the congested Kolkata traffic, I miss signing her HW Diary... I miss those "fun"... and here, if you think am having fun, then let me tell you for once and for all... no I am not having fun, and neither do I intend do.... the only fun for me here, if at all, is counting days to go back where I left my heart before coming here
Miss you
Friday, September 11, 2009
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4 comments:
We all miss you a lot
Well you know better English than me. So you definitely know that thw word 'fun' does not mean fun in literal sense when they say 'ok guys, have fun will catch you later'. Here the fun is forgetting the lonelyness. Likewise in socalled labor class in India have fun drinking 'deshi' knowing very well that harms them. Anyways, good writing. It is always a pleasure reading your pieces. And finally your 'topic mining' is excellent.
That you are missing Chocolates and Cakes is because you are mad. And what else, apart from pubs, is fun all about? I, and a lot of people, believe that fun is all about pubs, the ambience, and the alcohol.
v r different - n i wrote wht i thought
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