And the war still continues...

Am back after a 5 day hiatus... well had to come back for a topic which is so dear to me.

One thought thats haunting me lately is that how do you define a man? I hate generalization, but then, can there be a general definition of a man, which more or less will include everybody in that "category"?

Here is my humble attempt to define a "man" - the draft created by God before creating "woman" - the masterpiece!

(M)AN alysis

Element : Man
Symbol : Ah (short for A**h**e)
Quantitative : Accepted at 7 inches though some isotopes can be as short as 4 inches.
Discoverer : Eve (discovered by accident one day when she had a craving for ribs)
Occurrence : Found following duel element Wo, often in high concentration near a perfect Wo(speci)men.

Physical Properties:

a) Surface often covered with hair; bristly in some areas, soft in others.
b) Boils when inconvenienced,
Freezes when faced with Logic and Common Sense,
Melts if treated like a God.
c) Obnoxious when mixed with any alcohol.
d) Can cause headaches and severe body aches; handle with extreme caution.
e) Tends to fall into very low energy state directly after reaction with Wo (Snore... zzzzz).
f) Gains considerable mass as specimen ages, loses reactive nature.
g) Specimens can be found in various states ranging from deeply sensitive(very rare, tho) to extremely thick.
h) Rarely found in pure form after 14th year.
i) Often damaged as a direct result of unlucky reaction with polluted form of the Wo common ore.

Chemical Properties:

a) All forms desire reaction with Wo, even when no further reaction is possible.
b) Most powerful embittering and aggravating agent known to Wo.
c) Usually willing to react with whatever is available.
d) When saturated with alcohols, will be fairly inert and will repel most other elements.
e) Is repelled by most household appliances and common household cleansers.
f) Is repelled by small children clothed in diapers, particularly those of the malodorous variety.
g) Is neutral to common courtesy and fairness.
i) Is allergic towards shopping and dressing up.

Uses:

a) Long walks late at night, free dinners for Wo...
b) Can be used in recreational activities.

Tests :
a) Pure specimen will rarely reveal purity, while reacted specimens broadcast information on many wavelengths.

Caution :
a) Tends to react extremely violently when other Ah interferes with reaction to a particular Wo specimen. Otherwise very maleable under correct conditions.

A few myths about men:

a) Its said that men only think about SEX. That's exactly not true. They also care a lot about POWER, WORLD DOMINATION, MONEY, and BEER.

b) Men hate malls and dont really experience it the same way as women. Well, thats not true. At the mall, women get EXCITED, THRILLED, and OVERJOYED by purchasing the perfect item. Men experience the same feelings just by finding a close parking space at the mall.

c) Every man thinks he is one in a billion. What they forget is that, there are 4,00,000 men just like them!

d) Men have many faults - WRONG - Men only have two - Everything they say, and everything they do.

e) A man cannot cater to a woman's every need. Who said so???!!! A man can actually cater to a woman's every need, so long as all that she wants is to have sex, go to ball games, and bring him a beer.

f) There are good men around, though rare!

Now, this is what i say, the myth of the century! Why? Well...

Single women claim that all the good men are married, while all married women complain about their lousy husbands. This confirms that there is no such thing as a good man.