I will...

I'll spread my wings and I'll learn how to fly...
...And I'll do what it takes till I touch the sky.

For sometime now, my life has been falling apart like a sad house of cards. I feel so frail and hollow. I find it hard to function. I find it hard to find the right words to get me through the day. It isn't in any way different. Nothing horrible has happened yet. I find myself sinking into a bottomless pit of vacuum. I am in my famous mode of "bhalo lagche na" phase.

I am trying to analyse the situation. I am trying to figure out what went wrong. Is it the fact that my expectations are not being met? Is it the fact that my wishes are not being fulfilled? Is it the fact that am in constant conflict with people around me? Or it it the fact that I have difference of opinion with my loved ones?

In 33 years of my life, I think not even 33 expectations of mine have been fulfilled - so am used to it. The same applies to my wishlist. Conflict is the only constant force of my life - am in conflict even with myself. And when there are different people, and when they have different opinions, there gotta be difference of opinion - which is but normal. I know all this. They are part of my life... and I have learnt to live with these for so many years of my life. Then what it is?

What doesnt kill you only makes you stronger. And I am sure I am coming out at the top. There are a million things that made this qualify as a complete 180 degree turn in my life. I guess I have started taking a wild leap... and I am enjoying every minute of it. I feel free... as if I am floating...

The drudge and deariness of the mundane nature of life wont get to me... it cant bug me down... because I am going to taste everything in this world... assume the flavours of the Universe.

Its a new beginning of my life. A new challenge, a new experience, a new strategy to combat negativity, and I know I will succeed - the fighter in me is back, and it is going to fight all the evils... I feel like trying something new - say, taking up kickboxing to fight off those evil demons called frustations!