Wisdom Tooth

God created man. Then he created teeth. Then he created dentists and told them, “Go and wreak havoc on Earth. Create imaginary gum diseases. Endorse tar-tasting toothpastes.”

Dentists were happy for some time. Then they all went back to God and said, “Dude we can’t seem to find enough problems. Help us out.”

And then... God created Wisdom teeth.

(This happened when I was in my college, so I may miss out a couple of details here)

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The dentist began talking even before he saw my x-ray.

Dentist: Your third molar is impacted. We need to extract it.

(For a moment I thought I accidentally walked into a car body shop.)

Me: What?

Dentist: We need to remove your wisdom teeth

Me: Why?

Dentist: I need to go on a cruise

Me: Sorry?!!!

Dentist: I mean, *medical mumbo-jumbo* ... ultimately your wisdom tooth is doing obscene things to the next tooth.

Me: But I don’t feel any pain or anything

Dentist: That’s why we need to remove it immediately (Otherwise it may never cause a problem)

Me: Fine

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For the surgery I had to pick a form of anesthetic. Local, Local + mild sedation or Local + general anesthetic. I chose the second option and marked it on a paper.


On the day of the extraction, this Chinese doctor walks in. We both were apparently speaking English but either couldnt understand what other was trying to say. It took me five minutes to explain to him what my height and weight are with his asking me “Pardon me, can you repeat that” after every word I said.

Finally, having filled out the paper work he stuck the IV in my arm and started the drip.

He: So you chose general anesthesia, right?

I panicked!!!

Me: No, no! I chose the second option. Mild sedative?

He: Pardon me, can you repeat that?

Me: I said…

I was knocked out cold.

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I woke up after who knows how long, two teeth lighter. I woke up briefly to confirm the person picking me up was my father and then I don’t remember anything. My father later informed me that I volunteered some juicy information in my stupor. I don’t know what I said, but all I know is I am not going to win another argument in next 15 years with him.

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So there I was. Sitting with half my face swollen like a football. My friend called me and asked me why I didn’t get rid of the other two wisdom teeth at the same time?

Well...I don’t know. My doctor didn’t tell me to. May be the doctor was using my mouth like a little savings account. The remaining two would come in handy when he needed the next cruise.


But thankfully, after that i didnt have to go to that Chinese Dentist ever again in my life. His chamber was somewhere near Bhowanipore. And even today, when I pass by that lane, I have butterfiles the size of dinosaurs in my stomach.